pngwen
pngwen@techhub.social
Bring me the child of Kal-El.
bunnyzombie
bunnyhero@timeloop.cafe
@MatthewTitus88 it's a little too jaunty for eurohorror but i get a bit of a similar vibe from it #monsterdon
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
cool LED rings
"Miss Movie Masochist"
socketwench@masto.hackers.town
She's not so much a witch as she is a python developer who's proficient with Home Automation.
Randy_underscore_S
randy_s@mefi.social
#monsterdon look, it's not that the sword isn't nice, it's very nice, but it's no clear PVC Laser-Toob with flesh-hardening and custom lazer-blast pattern, you know?
Ruined Childhood village, Quicksand, this thing is hitting every classic Gen-X kid movie trope in order
saucerlost
Day for Darkness and Evil
gwildor
jivens@beige.party
#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980
Did all these actors take valium before delivering their lines? Jack Palance excluded, of course.. he took crystal.
TheREALPaulJohnson
RobynGoodfellow@mastodon.murkworks.net
This was once a green forest full of sunlight. Now it's a green forest full of fake spider webs. #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
Yes, *that* dawn person
thatdawnperson@toot.cat
Spirit Halloween forest #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
"now it's nothing but condos, as far as the eye can see"
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
Someone actually thought this soundtrack fit the theme.
#monsterdon
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
oh yeah i've been to this haunted house, it's in cosmoworld in yokohama
Mark Shane Hayden
msh@coales.co
[Dramatically Energetic Music] #Monsterdon
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
Wow.
Racist.
#monsterdon
Yes, *that* dawn person
thatdawnperson@toot.cat
Repeating crossbow. That beats the heck out of Voltan’s demonstrably thin, dull sword #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
forest boogie
raptop (𒀯 𒄷 𒄈𒀭𒁇)
Newpa_Hasai
Because it's capable of upwards of 100 rounds per minute cyclic?
LA Sooner
MatthewTitus88
Full auto crossbow. Rad. #monsterdon
rj
arrjay@tacobelllabs.net
The Forest of Weir(d)
😈🍿 J Riley 🍿😈
ohiofi
Chekhov’s Machine Gun Crossbow
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
If Voltan was being ridden by a ghost child, would you fire?
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
Semi-automatic crossbow
sean
sean@skj.social
The little known Gatling Crossbow.
Sailor Anarres
UsagiTsukino@kolektiva.social
#Monsterdon while he was at war his brother was boning his crush
😈🍿 J Riley 🍿😈
ohiofi
Super Hawk Bros.
RED (Shining Corundum):fire_t:
thraeryn@masto.hackers.town
"Did you ever cross swords with him?"
[immediate cut to flashback of his bride on horseback]
That could only get gayer; it was inevitable
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
Did I ever cross swords with him? I'll thank you to stop asking questions about my personal.... oh you mean did I fight him.
#monsterdon
Coach Spore Diesel
springdiesel@spore.social
Oh, Voltan has the toxic masculinity. What a pity.
rebeld 🇨🇦
rebeld@cosocial.ca
Chew it Jack, chew it!
Violinknitter
Violinknitter@wandering.shop
That’s not his brother, that’s his grandfather
Laurel Stvan
LingLass@hcommons.social
He’s remembering a better film… #Monsterdon
Trixter of the Moon Council
trixter@retro.pizza
Time for a tragic backstory!
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
princess boogie
rebeld 🇨🇦
rebeld@cosocial.ca
@MatthewTitus88 That he is!
Louisa
Louisa@mastodon.xyz
#monsterdon every line of this movie is like if the TL decided to make up Shakespearean dialogue
raptop (𒀯 𒄷 𒄈𒀭𒁇)
Newpa_Hasai
Why does that crossbow have a box magazine?
strangefour with the Pleiades
strangefour@retro.pizza
Jack is miscast. But he's still stuffing as much scenery in his mouth as he can grab while half blinded by his hat.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
AmyFou 🕊️
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
now that background horsie was having a pee
rj
arrjay@tacobelllabs.net
Obi-Wan Crossbow.
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
classic throwback montage
Patioboater
patioboater
I think I heard this music before in an episode of CHiPs.
Recovering Iron Pencil Statue :lapis: :big_challenges:
lapis@elekk.xyz
One of these toots I'm gonna misspell "Voltan" as "Voltron"
klu9 on ohai
klu9@ohai.social
rj
arrjay@tacobelllabs.net
"I have trust you have learned something from this" yeah you're sword's kinda crap
LA Sooner
MatthewTitus88
Is Palance the helmet/eyepatch guy? #monsterdon
AmyFou 🕊️
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
those background horsies object to this acting
Violinknitter
Violinknitter@wandering.shop
How does Voltan own everything? That’s not how things work
b :flan_zombie:
b@bsd.network
I will be very disappointed if the sword's name isn't Fistopher.
Softwarewolf
faoluin@chitter.xyz
Man these people are really rough on their swords.
jadebees
jadebees@sunny.garden
The mullet goes way, way back
https://www.history.com/articles/mullet-hair-style-rebels-history-ancient-rome-ben-franklin
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
He's called Hawk because people would snicker at "Mr. Glowy Sword."
#monsterdon
saucerlost
Give me your supplies of Skin Bracer
Terencio
Representing Lemmy/Piefed, Mastodon's fediverse siblings!
Srol
srol@mellified.men
I keep waiting for the hand on that sword pommel to slowly extend its middle finger.
Paco Hope
paco@infosec.exchange
The duel of the bland white dudes.
bunnyzombie
bunnyhero@timeloop.cafe
more dramatic staredowns that are not dramatic at allll lol
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
I think it's time to get out the Sweet and Spicy snack cones...
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
WHY is "Hawk" the worst actor in this film? Everyone else so far is half-decent English television grade, but Hawk here is being played by Plank, apparently
Spooky Cherizilla 👻
cherizilla@retro.pizza
[synth horse disco]
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
This is what people did for fun without books...
RED (Shining Corundum):fire_t:
thraeryn@masto.hackers.town
what the fuck was that cut-away? the music makes it sound like Hawk is having a one-Ken Ken-off
Steggy
steggy@sunny.garden
And now for something completely different...a disco contest?
Paco Hope
paco@infosec.exchange
@steggy See? See? Men grow up on this stuff. That's why we do NOT stop to ask for directions.
Louisa
Louisa@mastodon.xyz
#monsterdon fantasy is when you shoot a movie in an English forest, but you put horned lizards in it
Shannon Prickett
Binder@petrous.vislae.town
Tony Hawk, the first rider to successfully land a 720 degree horse spin. #Monsterdon
Spooooky Owlbear
cocaine_owlbear@retro.pizza
This guy has like no luck.
MindTGap
MindTGap
get out yer percentile 🎲 we got some saving rolls to make
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
And with that she fucked off.
#monsterdon
ano yatsu
yatsu@retro.pizza
good on you, Ranulf, learned your lesson.
Spooooky Owlbear
cocaine_owlbear@retro.pizza
Hawk the Slayer is about 25% horse riding montage by volume.
strangefour with the Pleiades
strangefour@retro.pizza
Hawk's actor is kind of bland looking and a little stiff acting, but he's got a good deep voice.
Honestly so far this feels like a movie that was intended to be an animated feature but the animator suffered a fatal heart attack and they just had to move on with making a movie the old fashioned way.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
Harvey Sandstrom
cd0
Lady don't you have a palace in france to get to, to transform a dickhead into a beast?
#Monsterdon
Log 🪵
log@mastodon.sdf.org
Wait... you really are a witch? Did I just... nah that guy was a dick anyway. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
David Zaslavsky
diazona@techhub.social
iguana boogie
Jason Parker (he/they)
north@ꩰ.com
It's been 20 minutes and I have no idea what's going on.
Log 🪵
log@mastodon.sdf.org
Hawk the gives you a chance to run guy. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
gwildor
jivens@beige.party
#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980
Ladyhawke did it better..
saucerlost
I'll need it for the staff meeting
jeffron
jeffron@ohai.social
had I seen this when I was 12 would not have shut up about it being the best movie ever made #Monsterdon
Solarbird :flag_cascadia:
moira@mastodon.murkworks.net
yeah that's not gonna be a kill strike, he's gonna be bleeding for hours and probably won't die 'til the infection sets in
least y'could do is finish him off, hawkman
Recovering Iron Pencil Statue :lapis: :big_challenges:
lapis@elekk.xyz
I really hope his sword can shoot lasers at full health though
Spooooky Owlbear
cocaine_owlbear@retro.pizza
The OO-EE-OO-EE-OO subtitles are killing me
😂🤣🤣
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
sean
sean@skj.social
Every duel begins with a staring contest.
Mjack
Mjack@petrous.vislae.town
You have to wonder who our lead beat out to win this role #Monsterdon
Softwarewolf
faoluin@chitter.xyz
Oh I didn't know this thing was a fucking medieval lightsaber.
KSHernandez ♊(she/her/they)
kshernandez@me.dm
Imagine being a multi-lingual woman during this time.
Violinknitter
Violinknitter@wandering.shop
Sure, set a bonfire next to two trees in a forest. Nothing bad could happen
Ben Ramsey
ramsey@don.monster
“I am not a witch! I am not a witch! They dressed me up like this.”
AmyFou 🕊️
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
Quick see if she's the same weight as a duck!
Recovering Iron Pencil Statue :lapis: :big_challenges:
lapis@elekk.xyz
...she cursed your hog or your "hog"?
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈
Lazarou
oh yeah, the tune is back, lets' GOOOOO!!!! :catjam:
Ysengrin Blackpaw 🔜 WPAFW
YsengrinWolf@meow.social
Random snake-friend hanging out.
Captain Button
cptbutton@dice.camp
The Fire Swamp? Watch out for R.O.U.S.!
AmyFou 🕊️
amyfou@lingo.lol
#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
also nice snake!
Log 🪵
log@mastodon.sdf.org
Won't the High Abbot just tell them to pray harder? One doesn't get to be High Abbot by wasting the Order's gold on ransoming nuns that live in an undefended abbey. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer
Louisa
Louisa@mastodon.xyz
#monsterdon majestic Castle Mattepainting
Void Chicken
Taweret@timeloop.cafe
I'm digging all of this so far. the sets, the matte paintings, the weird magic shit, the weird stilted Lanthimos dialogue
bunnyzombie
bunnyhero@timeloop.cafe
RE: https://timeloop.cafe/@bunnyhero/117028914383157340
note that i basically have no idea what's happening though