Holy Food! Food full of Holes!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

We spent a lot on these habit costumes so we have to have another visit to the nuns.
#monsterdon

@gblues he could rock it #Monsterdon

The maiden did the rescuing!!! Aw, shame about the sacrifice.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I’m starting to think Palance wasn’t a very good actor.

#Monsterdon

OH WAIT MORE BACKSTORY

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

https://youtu.be/N2FPQvwhSDY?t=45&is=X2JbbaBz_JkxbhLr

#hawktheslayer1980 #monsterdon

someone should make a retro RPG based on this movie with 16 bit graphics and this exact music

#monsterdon

@xerozohar@retro.pizza @CactuarJoe@retro.pizza The mail delivery quest is the most time-efficient IIRC. I do not miss grinding for that 1000 munny...

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

[adventuring] party boogie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon The good guys in this movie are christians, right? There was a crucifix earlier.

There's a lot of magic-users for a christian questing party.

He's not that ugly, he's a british 6, maybe 6 and a half if he's downwind. #monsterdon

#monsterdon so the dwarf is just, a slight man? Ok

I'm pretty sure I completed this story to finish out my Brewery skill in EverQuest

#Monsterdon

“And that’s not the only thing that hangs heavy. That’s what she said! AMIRITE?! Hahahahaha!”

#Monsterdon

So now we have Crow the Twink and Baldwin the Otter joining HAWK and the Bear so is the crew fully assembled? #Monsterdon

I was gonna make a joke about doing a heist but they're really doing a heist

#Monsterdon

@allanb ahhh of course, the party needs a thief

#monsterdon

"We do not have riches to fill a chamber pot."

Not with that attitude. START SHITTING!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon My briefs are stained by time. Carrying the unmentionable disgust of the ages.

"That's not the only thing that hangs heavy."
"Stop boasting, giant."

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

How convenient that the giant and elf were happy to just sit there doing nothing while Hawk is teleporting off on quests

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Can't you just purify his soul later? I'll bring him back and you can drown him then. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Mystical Incel Hare Krishna…?

Oh sweet, they got a whip guy. #Monsterdon

the priest is a wuss

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Everyone working on this knew it was going to be a total bomb. #monsterdon

You ever just eat a fish?

#Monsterdon

Wow? "Ugly one"? You're already executing him by drowning, you've got to insult him too?
#monsterdon

Gimli from the iron Hills? EH?
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

those salty wrenches

#Monsterdon

Now that's a cult!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"May you be executed by shitty archers" -traditional dwarven blessing

#monsterdon

He could have freed himself at any time from the raft.

#Monsterdon

meh, he's washed now, or at least close enough to it.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Ok, monks shooting flaming arrows is at least a tiny bit more Knights Templar

#Monsterdon

Least effective execution ever

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

lol they tied him up with his knife

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

A Viking funeral is compulsory. #Monsterdon

I think this movie is making up for plot consistency and connectedness via plot volume.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Hey Hosa

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

The really just filmed it in the woods uh?
#monsterdon  

Hoser me. Don’t burn the dorf! #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

i mean they bothered that guy first
#Monsterdon

Okay time to see if Real!Baldin is Bald

#Monsterdon

It's okay I'm having a hard time paying attention too

#Monsterdon

The spinny rings of party recruitment are extremely convenient. Except for the curse that makes the recruitee embroiled in a life-and-death conflict every time. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

@bandywillow

Elves are immortal, so puberty takes a long time...

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

This movie needs MORE HORSE!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

I have a feeling the hooded bow guy sells weed or something

crow t robot

#monsterdon

So much posturing

Just shoot each other and get it over with

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

shooting him was only logical.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

did he call him 'pig water?'

#monsterdon

Is this a Vulcan or a robot?
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

This is such a complicated con. Just stick to three card monty.

#monsterdon

I guess in medieval fiction they hadn't invented the idea of leaving strangers alone

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

wait this means we have a bridge to The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

right?

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

@ohiofi my goodness, it has just been 37 minutes! That's a lot of movie for such a short time!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I'd say this is just a Vulcan but then we get into the whole "Vulcans are basically just space elves" thing...

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Elf saliva is natures epoxy.

#Monsterdon

Looking like Spock. #monsterdon

If Voltan doesn't get his gold from the church, then he will make a sandwich!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#monsterdon Looks like the bowman is an elf, and on the spectrum. Or, a Vulcan! YAY!

Croooooow!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Temu Legolas is not impressed by human archers, clearly.

#monsterdon

( oh man these crisps are as tasty as always, a party in my mouth.....and everyone is invited!)

#Monsterdon

Oh you guys! I like this one! #HawkTheSlayer #Monsterdon #HulaHoops

It just occurred to me that without the teleporting thingy, we’d have MORE riding montages.

#Monsterdon

"I'm calling the brute squad!"

"I'm on the brute squad"

"You ARE the brute squad!"

#monsterdon

This isn't a good movie to be a white guy in the woods with notions

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Blacksmith is an NPC. Pass it on…

I would love it if I could hear all the dialogue

#monsterdon

We did the Seer teleporting thing because everybody was getting tired of the extended horse-rides-through-the-trees sequences.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Oh I get it! It’s the time and place where Dungeons and Dragons takes place.

More Nerdy #Monsterdon

Bernard Bresslaw, 6'7"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Bresslaw

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I too bang on cold metal with a hammer to pretend I'm a blacksmith

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

as we form the absolute COLDEST arrowheads.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Ohhhh, they’re getting Ocean’s Eleven together

#Monsterdon

DO DE DO DE DO

do de do de do

#Monsterdon

[OO-EE-OO-EE-OO]
#monsterdon

OOEEOOEEOO!!!

(ooeeooeeoo)

#Monsterdon

If this is the giant and not the dwarf I'm gonna be in so much trouble becuase I've decided he's Baldin. well. he is.

#Monsterdon

yup, i love this guy. pay me my two cents, or your wheel's off.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

I don't think we've yet seen a character capable of not getting into a fight

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

They would threaten to call the brute squad, but he is the brute squad. #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

This butcher reminds me of James Corden. #Monsterdon

HAMMER FIGHT!
#monsterdon

Guy was complaining he was treated like an honest citizen? What kind of world is this?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

That rotating-rings thing was used by the starfish-like aliens to change into humans and back in "Warning From Space".

EDIT: No, I'm wrong, it was just there in the middle of those scenes.

#monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer

Fuck you pay me!

#Monsterdon

The "giant" is the tallest man they could find.
The "giant" is 6 foot 2 and a half.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Wow "one handed one"?? He has a name.

I don't know what it is, but I'm certain he has one.
#monsterdon

Poor man’s Andre the Giant?

#Monsterdon

Quite an excellent shortcut for getting the band together. Steal that for your next game game masters

Too nerdy for #Monsterdon

#monsterdon She's Kryptonian huh... ohhhhkay…

Beyond the Gate....That looks like a save point if ever I saw one....

#Monsterdon

Bring me the child of Kal-El.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@MatthewTitus88 it's a little too jaunty for eurohorror but i get a bit of a similar vibe from it #monsterdon