Wow....a lament worse than Vadar's "Noooooooo"

#Monsterdon

Hey Jack, can we get another take of you mournfully crying "Drogo!" No? Just the one where you sound bored? Okay.

#monsterdon

DRAAAGOOOOO!

I take it back. Palance is the shit, yo!

#Monsterdon

At some point, Voltan needs to say, “Believe it…or nooot!”

#Monsterdon

Wow Voltan actually seems to give a shit about Drogo.

That was way more emotional than that first scene with Hawk's father.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@amyfou You can keep a message of death in your drafts folder. Just in case.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer #HawkTheSlayer1980

@allanb good line but terrible delivery

#monsterdon

@ramsey This gold goes straight into the Social Security lock box... #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Well, at least you tried, Drogo. That's what counts. You tried to do evil. #Monsterdon

The Hawk and the Dead

#Monsterdon

I'll give you a message... the message of DEATH! hya! :blobfoxangrylaugh:

#Monsterdon

Ok we’re going to need a lot of dry ice #Monsterdon

The elf character reminds me of Stephen King. #monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

These "battle" scenes are just too much I can't even 🤣 #Monsterdon

"The Peace Of The Dead"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"The message of death"

Uncharacteristically clever for this movie

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

There's got to be a band named "Message of Death", right?
#monsterdon

PETEW PETEW

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe FOR THOSE ABOUT TO HAWK
WE SALUTE YOU

#Monsterdon

creeping in the shadows!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Does nobody ever lock that door?

#Monsterdon

The producers were like, "We rented a church and BY GOD WE"RE GOING TO USE IT."

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Sugared lizard's eyeballs sound pretty great. #Monsterdon

We now return to ElfQuest (already in progress).

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

NOTE: The elf has sugared nuts.

#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

ah, no wonder i recognized the Abbess, she's been in like every British mystery series in the past decade.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

this is where we discover the nuns are ALSO planning to make off with the gold.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

sounds like Jack's nasal passages are blown out
#Monsterdon

Wait is Jack Palance a Warlock? Is the guy in The Red Place his Otherworldly Patron?
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Daddy issues mean I have bingo 🎉

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon why is this nun so sure voltan is trustworthy

You're choking me? He's barely touching you. Did they read the screenplay at all?
#Monsterdon

dark one squeezing lime juice into jack's wounds. evil!

#monsterdon

I like the Jack Palance in the red zone scenes. Has vibes. #monsterdon

ancient english laser surgery.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"There was a certain man who wielded a Mighty Sword..."

"Quickly ! Where is he...!"

#Monsterdon o
That's one way to stop the spread of information

"...we'll see who is the lord of the dance" what?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

We've seen who is the Lord of the Dance and he is a terrible man indeed...

#Monsterdon

@silverwizard High art? In #Monsterdon? This is madness 😂

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"God's teeth"

That's a thing people say?

#monsterdon

How would the slaver know the sword is mighty, the bastards got machine gunned not stabbed. #Monsterdon

He’s choking you? Just move away from his hand. WTF?!

#Monsterdon

@diazona right? Perhaps he has a wife at home who's too much even for him?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

He's a weird guy w/ a sword. Not like you, Drogo, wielding a whip like a normal person. #Monsterdon

I'm not a Slaver, I am an Involuntary Job Placement Specialist!

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Voltar's son is also chewing the scenery excellently

Also when and how does he have a son

I have no idea what the point was of that scene. I hope it wasn't male nudity because it was very meh. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

He should not have pulled on that horsie's face so much.

Would love to know what Palance is thing right at this moment in filmong. #monsterdon

There is no cure for this face.
#monsterdon

Jack Palance had a lot of bills to pay in the 80s...
#monsterdon

A good leader knows when somebody is unsheathing their dagger behind them

#Monsterdon

Was he murdered because he traded slaves, or because he ate and drank with his mouth open?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Is this not excitement?

Are you not amused?

#Monsterdon
#HawkTheSlayer1980

anyway the heroes take a little time to do some torture in cold blood

to uh, inspire us, I guess

#Monsterdon

Simon Bellend here needs to get out and whip

#Monsterdon

Voltan Raids Again

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

The Fat Lords?

#Monsterdon

Okay. That trick with the club was pretty good. #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

#monsterdon Hey, that's a clever way to dispatch an NPC. Respect.

"Some people can never keep their mouth shut"

Snappy quip after straight up murdering a dude. #Monsterdon

Our heroes, everyone!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

that trap doesn't work. he just has to roll over. it'd literally pull the mace _up_.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

What the fuck. Semiautomatic archery?
#monsterdon

Those guys are fluorescent white.

#Monsterdon

These sound effects are also great. Not good, but great.
#monsterdon

Heehee, I just realized that Hawk’s chainmail is garter-stitch knitting. Which, I mean, I know that’s one way to make a costume, it’s just so obvious

#Monsterdon

So much editing. So little substance.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Lots of Screaming and Groaning

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

fully automatic bows and crossbows!

#monsterdon

Yeah, the attacks-per-round action economy was pretty broken in early D&D. #Monsterdon

DONKEY! #Monsterdon

Is this a YouTube remix

What did I download

#Monsterdon

fully automatic crossbow makes solarbird something something

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

new headcanon: Hawk is the player character of someone playing a slavjank fantasy RPG who is not really into the lore and is skipping all the cutscenes and just kinda rushing the main quest

#Monsterdon

Sounds like someone's getting a new roof.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

...

#monsterdon

Send dudes?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

DO DE DO DE DO

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

This could be Holy Food?

< We've secretly replaced this food with Holy Food. Let's see if he can tell the difference. - Derwood Kirby >

A slaver who's an epicurean. #Monsterdon

"God protects us"

"He was protecting the Abbess, and look where it got her"

lol nice, finally somebody speaking sensibly

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

AZIZ, EMOTIONAL DELIVERY

#Monsterdon

close your mouth, you animal!

#Monsterdon

Wait, did she say "My son, God, protects us" or "My son; God protects us"?

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

"My son, God, protects us." Now that's an interesting inversion of Christianity!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

This ruse is better than the plot. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

These nuns are so hot. #Monsterdon

I think I can see why those others wanted to kill the little guy

#Monsterdon

this guy just scammed his way into a whole chicken. great job, little brother.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

His wife dies in his arms and he looks like he is taking a nap! How the fuck did this guy get a job acting??

#monsterdon

Tom Sawyered out of his sandwich 😀 #Monsterdon

#monsterdon The giant appears to have a simple way about him... LOL

Dwarf Bob Ross.

#Monsterdon

Holy Food! Food full of Holes!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

We spent a lot on these habit costumes so we have to have another visit to the nuns.
#monsterdon

@gblues he could rock it #Monsterdon

The maiden did the rescuing!!! Aw, shame about the sacrifice.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980