I really expected a dart to come out of that reed, not half a ton of silly string. Fair point to you movie for catching me completely off guard.

#monsterdon

that's it. that was the highlight of the film

we're not gonna top silly string

#monsterdon

I think this is actually Deadly Serious String...

#HawkTheSlayer1980
#Monsterdon

SILLY STRING

Is there ANYTHING it can't do? #Monsterdon

They have actual guns in this world and they use them to shoot silly string

sure why not

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#monsterdon
THE SILLY STRING!

DEATH BY SILLY STRING?!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Hahahahaah!!!!

SHE SILLY STRINGED THEM???????????

#Monsterdon

FORCE POWERS FIX EVERYTHING

BY DM INTERVENTION

and SILLY STRING!

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

“We must free ourselves”

Thats the kind of quick thinking that makes him the leader

#Monsterdon

moneyshot!
#monsterdon

oh no not the deadly silly string!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

And now things get dumb.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

#Monsterdon classic mistake not instantly killing them when no reason you can't

WHAT? SILLY STRING? WTF IS THIS????
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

he's such a low-stakes villain honestly

he's a "dark one" but he's barely a gang leader, how did he even earn a rep?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

#Monsterdon leaving zero guards on the prisoners?

#Monsterdon enough monologuing to drive a deus ex machina through.

Okay I know it would have taken away from the gravity of the situation but I was hoping for a kick in the nads

#Monsterdon

that's some evil acting allright
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

i love short boy so much.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

BOOT to the head. #Monsterdon

Fun fact: the actors playing Hawk and Voltan were born almost 30 years apart.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer

*tickles the One Handed Man

#Monsterdon

Voltan is going to feast them to death.

#Monsterdon

"Counter of beads," ooooh, sick cloister burn!

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

All these comments had me at 'nun' and 'test tube' #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"She escaped because she poured a drug into his Mead?"

"It was the Essence of St. Rufie..."

****

And That my children, is how the Ruined Abbess of Cornwall came to be.

So as a fantasy RPG movie this is up there with the original D&D movies almost #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

...Denethor? is that you?

#Monsterdon

"River of Death" would also be a good band name
#monsterdon

why are you 30 years older than me, brother?

#monsterdon

"...where is the gold?"
"Curly's gold?"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Ha, nun caught collateral damage from that backhand. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Okay on the right movie now, this one has Vulcans. Never a cool thing to do to a renfair- there's a reason Spock always wore a sock cap on the away missions in earth-like pasts.

#monsterdon dwarf and giant, best friends kicking back during the war between good & evil and eating a nunnery into starvation

i actually have seen this before, or at least parts. i remember the weird elf, and i remember this scene

#monsterdon

I feel like she lived exactly long enough to realize her mistake.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

"Pray I do not alte- oh f*ck it, die!"

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@Lazarou mostly for a guy that size.
#monsterdon
#hawktheslayer1980

hey Little Sister, what have you done?

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

If you tire of fighting and killing, perhaps it's because you kill so fucking many people! You're killing like 20 for every 1 that anyone else kills. Just chill, elf dude. Leave some for the rest of us.

#monsterdon

Betrayed by nuns!
#monsterdon  

Foley guy putting extra work into the SLURPING AND GULPING #Monsterdon

No WAY she knocked him out that fast. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱

why would a nun have a test tube?

Sometimes I tire of these large, rubber ears #monsterdon

Wait wait wait, we gotta squeeze in some backstory for Crow!

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

The little guy and the giant will become lovers, but one of them will die in the climax

#Monsterdon

"Your people will never be forgotten."

Nerds will carry that torch for generations ( o_o)7

#Monsterdon

@Binder Do we use a semicolon or colon for that sentence? #WrongMovie #CitySlickers #Monsterdon

Hawk sounds like he took some Ambien this whole movie.

#Monsterdon

I think this is the most emotion I have heard in a line from Robo-Elf

#Monsterdon

Awww, they bonded over food.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

This action sequence would be more impressive if I could see anything.
#monsterdon

"What are we going to do for the smoke efgeects?"
"No effects. We're going to light a huge fire and film in the middle of it."
#monsterdon

This movie is pretty close to the loosey goosey way a D&D campaign runs. But it should really have more bad food jokes and such if it was.
#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

The nuns are acting in an entirely different film, and they should just give up.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👑 👬 💀 ⚔️🦅 😱
#HawkTheSlayer1980

Large braziers of fire inside tents are not advised..

The Hawk Bunch

#Monsterdon

the director really attempted some camera work in this movie

#monsterdon

@diazona@techhub.social yeah machine gun crossbow guy could have pinned him to the back of the tent first

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@diazona He *has* been shown to be very fast with a knife, so I'll grant it.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

what was even the point of that entire scene? did they accomplish _anything_? were they even _trying_ to accomplish anything?

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Stranger Things soundtrack sampled heavily from this section...

#Monsterdon

Film a fight in the mist so you don't really have to film any fighting

#Monsterdon

This is some great fight scene music. Can't say the same about the fight scene itself.
#monsterdon

If you're threatening to slit her throat you should probably have the knife next to her throat

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Voltan has too many men?
Stop slut shaming dude.
#monsterdon

The fog, the endless fog. I feel like it covers a multitude of poor camera work and scenery. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

They literally rented a fog machine for this fight scene, both in-universe and out. #Monsterdon

what the fuck is going on #monsterdon

Jack Palance's character really needs to be on whatever the star is taking, seems to really even him out.
#monsterdon

Oh I've seen those LED ball things at Festivals

#Monsterdon

You know who would have made a better Hawk? Kyle MacLachlan.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

him jog

him jog good

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

The Giant accidentally destroys everything of value in the nunnery, leaving them nothing to buy food with in Winter

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"You killed the soldiers that came for the gold?"

"Yes."

"Right. Every Nun for Herself...!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnB12dtmiG8&list=RDHnB12dtmiG8&start_radio=1

Oh, great. He's altering the deal. If she had said as much, we could have all said, "I'm altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further." Missed chances. #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

Flashback The Forth! Extended death scene.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@Louisa https://timeloop.cafe/@wohali/117029116794641164

#monsterdon

The elf could totally just shoot Voltan

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Good fire. If you can't say something nice... #monsterdon

He’s a psychic? Did I miss that? #Monsterdon

The elf archer looks and acts like a dead ringer for the Elf player's father, Daeghun, in #NeverwinterNights2. That's unexpected.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Introduce Drogo just to kill him and then have Voltan engage in more pointless death and destruction. Okay.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

Now it’s a Viking death?? #Monsterdon

That "drogooooo" was pretty unenthusiastic for a scenery chewer like you, Jack.
#monsterdon

Teleporting knife has to be at least as powerful as fully automatic bows. #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

You know, I bet Volton's left eye has split into many tiny little eyes and that's why he wears a grille over it. It hurts because it keeps splitting into more eyes.

#Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

The helmet gives him a half insect-like appearance. I think I will call him Voltan the Fly. He does bug me. #Monsterdon #HawktheSlayer1980

The giant will eat the Nunnery's winter supply of food....

#Monsterdon

A full quarter of this movie is just Hawk's adventuring party eating.

#monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer1980

@Louisa see my The Critic toot just prior to this one :D

#monsterdon

look Volton you usually don't send the wounded unit BACK into combat.

#monsterdon #hawktheslayer1980

Does a death groan count as a line, or did Voltan kill an extra? #Monsterdon #HawkTheSlayer

Wow....a lament worse than Vadar's "Noooooooo"

#Monsterdon

Hey Jack, can we get another take of you mournfully crying "Drogo!" No? Just the one where you sound bored? Okay.

#monsterdon

DRAAAGOOOOO!

I take it back. Palance is the shit, yo!

#Monsterdon

At some point, Voltan needs to say, “Believe it…or nooot!”

#Monsterdon