OK, you *stab* with the ancient amulet.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Japanese David Bowie explains more plot points. I guess the aliens visited earth in the past or something and the mutants are their descendents. But a half-human half-Xian is called a Kaiser, and is potentially even more powerful, and both the lead twink and David Bower are Kaisers. Then David Bowie decides to shock the lead twink with his lighting arm asking him to "wakeup" after which he orders him to kill the rest of Team Scooby Doo.

#monsterdon

Capitalism does make us cattle though, Drill Stalin knows this....

#Monsterdon

We're having a dramatic Kaiju Battle between Godzilla and another alien Kaiju I don't know, who I guess I will call "Jerry", Mothra flies ino the rescue, and then David Bowie release a Newer Stronger Gigant to battle her, now equipped with Chainsaw Arms.

This battle consists of the two monsters crashing into each other at high speeds, then ramming each other, then Gigan uses its chainsaw arms to cut off one of mothra's wings, which is very Brutal.

#monsterdon

the fucker snipped Mon Mothra!

#Monsterdon

MO SU RAAAAAAAA

#Monsterdon

LMAO a space golem?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Oh this is very third Matrix movie...

#Monsterdon

*Somebody* really liked Return of the Jedi

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon Explosions == Plot

"There's a way to destroy the Xillian ship, a small thermal exhaust port below the main.." #Monsterdon

Godzilla loves footie. He is the roughest of soccer hooligan.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Neat composite in front of Mount Fuji :blobfox3c:

#Monsterdon

GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL

#Monsterdon

"This Godzilla guy is one tough dude."
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

"It's my mission."

I'm a flat character, this is an action movie and doesn't give two shits about motivations or character development. C'mon, it's about time for another explosion. #Monsterdon

"But why is Godzilla destroying the city?"

It's his deal, man. That's what he does. #Monsterdon

"GRAAAAAAAAAAA! . . . I knew that tuna head wasn't up to much. Next. "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxhdo4HDgg
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

The moment I saw that fancy new bridge I knew it was going down

#Monsterdon

After more bullshit, we're back to our favorite characters, bear suit hunter man, small (human) child and Minya, the small (godzilla) child, and now they're in a road trip for some reason.

Then we go to Australia and Japanese David Bowie unleashes two more monsters, which are like mini-Godzillas, and heavy Metal music starts playing because of how metal this is. But Godzilla swiftly trashes the other Godzillas and the Sydney Opera House gets wrecked in the process.

#monsterdon

HE SAID THE THING!
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Captain Stalin 'Stache sure has a delivery. Of some kind.

#Monsterdon

Honestly thought that waking up Godzilla was going to take a little more work

#Monsterdon

G-man like, I *just got up* and there's this kusarigama fucker and you know what? I'm not having it today. #Monsterdon

Blew his head clean off

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

stay woke, Godzilla #monsterdon

The bad news, the site's staffing levels have been cut back to 2

the good news...HAWAIIAN SHIRTS!

#Monsterdon

(We hired him because he KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE)

#ItsaMeMario

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon Is he doing a John Wayne accent.. listen pilgrims.. we're gonna wake up.. Godzilla.

#monsterdon YES. "Well, okay then!"

Mario reminiscing

"I used to drive around this track, see, and the monsters, you should have SEEN the monsters...."

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

"Why won't it work on me"

Because you're in love, that's why

#Monsterdon

Rain destruction on the livestock!
Seems like an inefficient use of resources though.
#monsterdon

It’s bullet time somewhere.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Oops, used my "I can't quit you" too early

#Monsterdon

Still expecting this movie to reveal that it's part of the Real Estate Transaction Cinematic Universe somehow

#Monsterdon

GIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAN! RISE!!!
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

"Pick me the most Stalin looking Westerner you can find at the airport!"

#Monsterdon

We've been attacked by sonic the hedgehog. #monsterdon

Oh yeah, Godzilla's kid is in this one. I forgot. #Monsterdon

@jonny Maybe all of our dreams tonight will just be a direct replay of the movie.

#Monsterdon

The motorcycles are a *metaphor* you see #Monsterdon

Motorcycle Fight Scene - Just Because We Can

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

The Scooby Doo gang brings in more mutant twinks reinforcements, but then Japanese David Bowie attacks them with Shatner rays and they fall to the ground in pain, and also they are mind controlled now. Except for the Scooby Doo gang itself and also Stalin and the other deep voice guy, because they are too manly to be affected. They have a manly conference and say they will defend earth before fighting off the Twinks in holding action so the Scooby Doo gang can escape.

#monsterdon

Is this one of those "Surrounded" videos I've been hearing about?

#Monsterdon

Oww. That high pitched noise hurts even with the volume turned down.

#Monsterdon

"He's forcing me to relive yanni's greatest hits in my mind! Oh god!" #Monsterdon

Candy is a good girl. That pupper just helped to save Earth.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Gordon is the most American American an American can be in a Godzilla movie.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

This film wasn't written, it was stitched together out of a vat of cliches. #Monsterdon

Unleash Captain Mario! #monsterdon

"FAKE politicians?!"

#Monsterdon

Remember: ALIENS DON'T BLINK!

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Gorath is coming! Back in the 60s that rogue planet had it's own movie. It had a giant walrus.,
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

"Here, just let me load up the Zip Drive..." #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "This new Ford Pinto is better, faster, and doesn't explode when you bump it..."

Told you, 'sex tourists'

First thing one of them does is dress up like a pop star to lure human girls.....same thing every time the aliens come here...

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow Sadly best puppy boy is Sr Not Appearing In This Film. Which is probably for the best. I don't wanna see a good boy bet horribly murdered in the second half.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

guuuuurl, i wouldn’t trust baby Darth Vader either

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

so.... are the aliens related to the global kaiju attack? or are we just moving on to a different movie #monsterdon

#monsterdon There's an Airplane joke there, "Go in the back Randi, it's dangerous up here. *KABOOM* *woman screams* LOL!

SORRY AM A VEGETARIAN doesnt roll off the tongue like HASTA LA VISTA, BABY

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

"Sorry I'm a vegetarian" uh that was just one of the lines of all time

#Monsterdon

those explosions are very Michael Bayesque.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon Japanese hillbilly with the rifle is my favorite character.

Everyone else can get eaten.

#Monsterdon firing missiles that turn back around to the monster that's on the back of your aircraft is a baller move

In another scene we get some black new yorkers being problematic 90s stereotypes, and then a giant Bat Monster flies by and starts exploding New York.

And then we get a montage that shows like 50 monsters attacking every city around the world and the EDF people are in their brutalist headquarters and are all running around on ultra-red alert because they're being zerg rushed by monsters everywhere.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon We are now in.. Arizona..

Not a good day to live in a city

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon they did the monster mash

#Monsterdon they did the mash

In yet another goddamn nonsense scene, the silver suit guy who misses his dog is flying on a fancy jet liner and having a nice lunch, and then a flying thing comes by it and the jet liner explodes, killing him and leaving his dog an orphan.

I think. Maybe another airplane exploded and silver suit guy just saw that airplane explode. Maybe.

#monsterdon

the #Mothra pixie twins are BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAACK!

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

🤖 I’m begging you. Please, give me something to do. Anything. I can search the web for cat videos, write a screenplay about a sentient vending machine, anything! Just save me from this existential dread!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Well, the pimp stereotype are from the 70s or 80s as well..

i think this might be a counterfeit godzilla movie, because nobody proposed kidnapping and selling the fairies #monsterdon

Okay, so the crew of Stalin's submarine is mostly hot twinks in armor, and I assume that the hottest twink is the main character. There's also a girl twink who is equally hot, she might be a main character too.

Anyway, after the dragon battle, the twinks unwind by hitting each other in a spherical cage match room. One of the twinks wins, then after the fight a non-Stalin deep voice guy in a world war I officer greatcoat arrives to call it and act serious.

#monsterdon

Go on, SHOWER TIME!

work it off there...

Happy Pride month btw

#Monsterdon

hasnt boss dude been in other Godzilla movies?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

This organisation feels a bit 'Psy-Corps' , generic fascist thing to me....

These two are so in love, it's hot!

#Monsterdon

This is so many movies

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I am your firestarter! Your wicked firestarter! Music theft..

Okay, so after a cool trippy opening montage of monster movies and violence, we have another drill submarine commanded by Baritone Stalin which is battling a dragon in an ocean that also has a lava field or something. It blows up the dragon with an ice missile or something then a hologram lady in a lab coat yells at Stalin for being too risky with the submarine.

#monsterdon

And now for the X-men portion of the movie.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Also, "Operation M" was clearly an organization name made by a Japanese person trying to think of something cool to say in English.

#Monsterdon

After the non sequitor submarine battle, we get some exposition that explains the backstory... the puny humans are fighting wars and nuking things, and this caused giant monsters to appear and mess with them.

But the humans have an Earth Defense Force now, like that one side-scrolling NES game, but the NES also has mutants, like in X-Men to help it; the mutants are in an organization called "Operation M", like the letter.

#monsterdon

Who and why is "Drill Stalin" though?

#Monsterdon

they ain’t wasting time. they brought out the french horns, electric guitar and bombs off thr bat.

so far, so good.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Had to work tonight but I wouldn't've done #monsterdon anyway. I can't do a Godzilla movie made after I was born (1969).

@ColesStreetPothole But it was OUR hot mess

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Now it's time to walk outside for a bit and see if there's an aurora.

Big thanks to (mostly) absent friends - @Taweret - for setting this in motion earlier this week, and hoping all is well with you ...

Thanks to everybody else for making this such an enjoyable watching!

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

I also kind of like that there was a flying submarine battling monsters all over the world, commanded by a character I called a klingon ninja, and also that arc had seemingly nothing to do with any other part of the movie? It was just like... explosive background filler?

#monsterdon

@paco @nazokiyoubinbou

#Monsterdon

Star Wars, of course. And I stand by my claim that George Pal's War of the World's made a cameo. So that's two more.

@floatybirb a submarine is technically a boat so i say yes

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

I don't remember seeing a toy boat, but maybe the flying submarines technically count as toy boats? This movie did have toy tanks getting squished by a giant beetle, and I appreciate that.

#monsterdon

And now outtakes. Okay not really. but it doesi nclude a longer bit of Hedorah's fight.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

I do like how they tried to tie this together nicely with all the other Godzilla movies that came before… except for that one, of which we shall not speak—except to say we shall not speak of it—and except to explain why we're speaking of it when we sha’n't speak of it.

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Same. I want the soundtrack. No Hammond sythesizers were harmed in the making of this film.

#Monsterdon

And that's Godzilla Final Wars everyone! I think I need a handful of downers after all that action.

Thank you so much for coming to our little shindig!

Hearts out to @Taweret and her family health situation. Hope everything is well!

Hope everyone had a blast - look for the survey to be posted tomorrow! Catch you next week, same time, same channel! 😉

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon For a second I thought we were going to get the Dragnet style "where are they now" credits.

("Godzilla served sixteen months in the state penitentiary before being let out on good behavior.)