i have analyzed this movie from a film theoretical lens #monsterdon #MonsterdonAnalysis #MonsterdonFilmSchool

Oh I almost forgot, Happy pride Godzilla fans!
#Monsterdon #Godzilla

I picked the wrong movie to dip my toe back into #Monsterdon.

Seriously, that was BY FAR the least believable Godzilla movie I've ever seen.

I realize that's like saying it's the least throwable Toyota I've ever seen, but still. #Monsterdon

this entire movie in two toots:

#monsterdon

15 minutes remaining, so that means we have time for 2 more final bosses, mothra involvement, a whole movie of orthogonal sideplot, and baby godzilla saving the day at the end #monsterdon

Consoling my husband that Mothra will be okay... IT'S GONNA BE OKAY

#monsterdon

Godzilla, totally not a Gen X parent; refusing attachment parenting. they won’t even carry Minizilla in a sling and shit. tsk tsk.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

bro you can get a mitochondria from fucking anything they are basically free #monsterdon

Is that a YETI IN A BIKINI????

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

during the production of this movie someone slipped and broke the "number of things that happen" knob and they couldn't figure out how to turn it back down #monsterdon

i'm out of breath laughing at this fucking movie, this is one of the best #monsterdon movies i have ever seen

This is why GMO-free Kaiju are so important.

#monsterdon

@blogdiva Japan has always had a good grasp on satirizing America. But they have two modes. Bitingly bitter commentary hidden in a joke, or hah hah funny cowboys.
Here is costar of this movie, Kane Kosugi, as an American ninja cowboy.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

I don't know anything about Godzilla fandom and story and all that but I assume this is Mothra? Why does everyone talk about Godzilla when this total glorious glittery Mothra beast exists?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

That was fun, thanks everyone! :) This was super silly but I see why so many people love this franchise

Sending thanks and good thoughts to @Taweret <3

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Godzilla: Final wars (2004) - 5/5

incredible. i wept. i am in hysterics. marvelous. bravo. an achievement

#monsterdon #MonsterdonReviews

"It's not over. It's just a new beginning."

And then they both look at each other like, "Oh crap, we really might have to star in another one of these...."

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Special thanks to our guest host @wohali, filling in for @Taweret!

Tonight's feature, #GodzillaFinalWars , from 2004, not only had Kaiju, Mutants, and Aliens, but also,

When my doctor asks me how bad my heartburn is, I'm going to show her this clip

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Whew, that was A LOT. All the happening made up for every movie where we were like, "It'd be cool if something would actually happen." Goodnight #monsterdon, and thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

And a proper fucking off into the sea!

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Me: Are they ripping off Yuen Woo-Ping?

@paco : They are ripping off everything.

Me: Oh yeah. Fair point.

#Monsterdon

I think after this film they had to stop making Godzilla films just because nobody could think of anything else to do that Final Wars didn't at least try. #Monsterdon

I have never seen a film so deadly earnest be so *absolutely hilarious.* #Monsterdon

This movie is what plays in an 8-year-old's head when he gets extra mozzarella sticks. #Monsterdon

YES GODDAMN IT the baby godzilla better be our god damned savior #monsterdon

i just want to point out that i was literally correct about this except for the mothra part
https://neuromatch.social/@jonny/114611496793821245

#monsterdon

Ah, I love that stupid, ridiculous movie. Thanks for the fun time, everyone!

#monsterdon

GODZILLA HATES HIS FUCKING BABIES THAT IS CANON #monsterdon

The 10 people left on earth surveying the wreckage of whatever city this is

#Monsterdon

@paco mitochondrial DNA is passed down through the maternal line, so we are good. why am I using actual science here? I think I'll fuck off into the sea now.

#Monsterdon

They grow up so fast

#Monsterdon

"this godzilla guy is one tough dude" is ACTUALLY DIALOGUE from the main antagonist #monsterdon

Hahahaha the guys at the South Pole are drinking espresso, wearing ironic Hawaiian shirts and listening to big band music, I kinda love them

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Aliens could never duplicate that mustache.

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Thanks again #Monsterdon for a fun night of movie watchalong. With a movie that was for two decades my favorite Godzilla movie. Partially helped by first seeing it in a theater full of Godzilla fans. But this is still the most fun mad manic giant monster movie.
#GodzillaFinaWars

Still a better movie than the 1998 Godzilla.

#Monsterdon

Godzilla, being the terrible dad he is, walks away from his son rather than destroy the heroes.

Don't run after him little guy, he's not the family you need...

#Monsterdon

Godzilla never skips leg day. #monsterdon

"And that was when I carried you"

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

This movie's devotion to capturing the women's bare legs is quite impressive

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

the extremely effective yet rarely used military doctrine "just fire mercilessly in a line with your unlimited energy weapons except if they stick their sword into concrete at which point the RoE become kung fu only" #monsterdon

Imagine how much more fun Mario Kart would be if we gave Mario a huge sword

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

I must get this soundtrack. #monsterdon

not only is this a pastiche of every blockbuster, the soundtrack is like the Tower Records DJ playing his las rave at the store… on ecstasy. it has every 1990s pop genre.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

there was a baby godzilla at one point in this movie and even if they drop 19 of the 20 plots i will not forgive them if they drop that one #monsterdon

This movie heard every time we complained about nothing happening in a Monsterdon movie and was like, "i got u"

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

This movie is so fucking stupid I love it so much

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

The words of the prophets are written on fairy cave walls...

#Monsterdon

Dear 1950s #monsterdon movies,

Are you burdened with a cast of men who look *almost* identical? Have you considered taking a leaf from Godzilla: Final Wars, a movie from your future, and making your characters visually distinct? Or alternately, giving them fetishes, dance moves and a motorcycle?

With this one weird trick, your characters can be distinctive, letting shitposters from the future tell them apart!

I'm calling it now: tomorrow's stats will be among the biggest #monsterdon events ever.

The shit-happening-per-second on this film was off the charts. Cubic WTFs measured on the Richter scale.

the children will save the world.… WE ARE THE CHIIIIIIIILDREN, WE AAAAAAAARE THE…

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

the 4 ft tall kid is in no way hindering your shot at the 100 story godzilla!!! #monsterdon

where is the baby godzilla in all this! did they evolve for nothign! #monsterdon

kaiju Neo is ⓂⒶⓃⒾⒻⒺⓈⓉⒾⓃⒼ

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

So, uh yea, 30 minutes left, everything has happened what more is there to happen

#Monsterdon

I guess we saw INDEPENDENCE DAY, too

#Monsterdon

Love the shot of Godzilla in front of Fuji. Like, Fuck Yeah Japan. #Monsterdon

If you think your life is confusing, a friend of mine joined me in watching this halfway through

#Monsterdon

Giant pissy insects destroying crucial transportation infrastructure realistically feels like something future people will have to be concerned about

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

We have an hour left

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

this movie isn't a godzilla movie so much as it is a movie about a dream about all other movies #monsterdon

where normally "the aliens have kidnapped the secretary general and are taking over human politics" would be an entire movie, that was in fact only 1/20th of the number of movies that are happening at once right now #monsterdon

This movie feels like someone watched The Matrix and Godzilla back to back while taking a _lot_ of mushrooms

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

nonbinary fashion is 20 years behind what X is on #monsterdon

the constant 2000's RTS background soundtrack is really really really working for me. you couldn't score a movie like this in any other way than going like "strap in and accept whatever washes over you, all emotional moments are the same and it is bad ass" #monsterdon

this movie is also son of godzilla!?!?!??!?!!! #monsterdon

and after the #misogyny we have a #racism interlude. this movie was absolutely made with the USA market in mind. can you see how the American #fascism was being telegraphed back then?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon The fairies are the best part of the Godzilla extended universe.

@nazokiyoubinbou I'll have a go. Maybe we can all figure them out:

#monsterdon

fucking off into the sea like some god damn jet skis and giving a godzilla thumbs up to the camera, freeze frame!!!!! roll credits!!! #monsterdon

losing my mind that this movie is ending with yet another time where godzilla leaves whatever he is doing because his babies are there #monsterdon

"Godzilla, it's over! You must forgive!"

Yeah, we've learned our lesson about nuclear weapons! The cold war is over, right? It's 2004, nobody could POSSIBLY start a nuclear war now! #Monsterdon

why is the goddamn secretary general of the UN involved in any of this #monsterdon

He BELIEVES HE'S THE ONE

The oracle told him only what he needed to hear

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

They are hiding behind ONE PILLAR

MOVE A FOOT TO YOUR LEFT

OR RIGHT

AND KILL THEM

#Monsterdon

That's what you get for trying to blow up Mothra and then turning your back to the explosion so you can pose. 😐

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

BTW remember the drunk guy that sacrifices himself in INDEPENDENCE DAY?

they’re even addressing the part where Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith invade the alien ship

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#Monsterdon This whole movie is about how Millennials think they're so hot, but wait until the Boomer monster wakes up from his nap to show us how it's done.

GIGAN has rave DJ glasses

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Gay sex is *so complicated* good lord... #Monsterdon

they PLANNED to need to launch a motorcycle out of the truck when it was flipped over? ???? #monsterdon

I like how Hollywood movies rely on guns and then bigger guns, and still bigger guns, an ever-increasing magnitude of gunnage, while in this movie it's reasonably-sized guns, then an ever-increasing skill level of gymnastics.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

I look away for TWO SECONDS and now there is an ARMORED CAR AND A DIRTBIKE

WHAT. IS. THIS. MOVIE.

#Monsterdon

Everyone in this movie owned an iMac and thought the Macarena was amazing. #Monsterdon

every. single. scene. is so rich with what the fuck in the sound design, sets, and costumes. incredible. why was there a loud goose noise in the middle of the "people of the world" mini-montage? why does the drummer seem to be diegetic? why is the blocking all the mutants standing in a line like the team assembly shot in a heist movie #monsterdon

Targeting the UN secretary general as the leader of earth to bodysnatch is a classic alien localization error. #monsterdon

Y'all nerds probably love that little data disc thing

#Monsterdon

This is *by far* the least believable first contact I have ever seen. And I watched Invasion of the Star Creatures. #Monsterdon

"I guess you'd call them aliens."

"What, from another planet?"

...No, from the kitchen. YES FROM ANOTHER PLANET. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon slide-whistle hat gag?

But why?

Is this an Abbot and Costello movie?

I think this movie might be way too visually overstimulating for me - the cuts during all the action scenes are too fast for my poor 20th century brain.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

mustache dude needs to get kaijued for disrespecting videoconference lady like that

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

BTW the music slaps

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

@Zerofactorial I rather like how the baby Godzilla was used to create an absurdist road trip sequence that only marginally intercepted with the rest of the film. #monsterdon

and everyone settles down into conformist heterosexual relationships, except for our hero who takes his kid and fucks off into the sea, where he doesn't have to deal with this shit. #monsterdon

THATS IT that's the end SOMEHOW OK #monsterdon

you motherfuckers are flying around in a literal Dr. robotnik drill ship of course the spirits of the earth are going to think it is evil #monsterdon

so… what was the point of minizilla hitting puberty if he aint nowhere to be found?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars