eeeeeeeeek she got Xillianed

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Mr Secretary won't go to the hospital because he ain't human....

#Monsterdon

Xillian is totally about Elon’s grandad’s techfascist cult

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

MINIDISC!

Fucking A!

Lets see some electronics in translucent plastic! Flip phones!

#Monsterdon

I feel like if I was Japanese and lived in Japan in the early 00s I'd know who all these people are...

#Monsterdon

I've lost the plot but I really want to know if that guy's suit is made of brushed silk

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Aliens with very thin sunglasses. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Everywhere is dangerous at the moment.. the world, 2025

Small arms, that's *adorable.* #Monsterdon

Does this count as Canadian content?
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

If there was any explanation as to why any of this is happening I missed it

#Monsterdon

The dubbing on the 'pimp' is a bit racist. #monsterdon

did they rescue this movie from a well or something, who is grading these colors #monsterdon

"Are you really a biologist?" #monsterdon

The handsome jerk who's mad he won is Kane Kosugi. TO some he's just the son of Sho Kosugi "the ninja" of a bunch of 80s action movies from Cannon films. But to me Kane is an Ultraman, and a Super Sentai (Kakuranger), and a (evil) Kamen Rider. And still damn good looking.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

The "cranky old fart" from the UN will definitely be a hot babe, right?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

can’t tell with that mustache if the dude is supposed to be trustworthy like Mario and Luigi or your general purpose post-Soviets european fascist. that mustache is totally distracting.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

having a hard time shifting back into kaiju mode, where questions like "what are they doing? why are they there? who are they?" are not relevant #monsterdon

#MovieCharactersGraduationAdvice
#HashtagGames
#Monsterdon

And in closing I Godzilla say, "Roar!"
Also mutant humans are delicious.

#Monsterdon

If you're reading this, you're at the tail end of a long stream of posts on the feed about #Monsterdon, a fediverse community movie-watching event.

This week we watched GODZILLA: FINAL WARS (2004). It had… everything. Including the contents of several movies that were its contemporaries. 14/10.

See the post at the top of this thread for more info:

https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/111004128276431553

Oh okay yes, WikiZilla confirms that this was Mandarin Chinese. Interestingly, it was dubbed in Japanese for some versions

https://wikizilla.org/wiki/Li_Xiang

#Monsterdon

Well, that’s a wrap! Thank you all for making this fun. We missed you, @Taweret, but you were here in spirit. Thanks for hosting!

#Monsterdon

@moira ikr it's kinda like when you drink lots of caffeine and it makes you sleepy instead of awake. #monsterdon

@yatsu it was exhausting. #Monsterdon

And, The stylings of Mr. Keith Emerson to see you out

#monsterdon
#GodzillaFinalWars

So, uh, did any other humans survive?

(Not that it matters. This movie isn't in the same timeline as anything else)

#Monsterdon

@jonny It's ok. Only all of Earth society and most of its major cities were horribly destroyed and like 90% of the population wiped out.

Walk it off.

#Monsterdon

It’s only just the beginning…

#Monsterdon

denoument by Timmy, grade 6

#monsterdon

"It's over now"

*sighs*

"No, it is a new war..."

Oh no please....

#Monsterdon

[prog intensifies]

#Monsterdon

Humanity saved by the power of LOVE

#monsterdon

And the strains of video poker music sing us to the epilogue! #Monsterdon

Miss Scarlet remarks, "if only we had some way to give Godzilla more energy?", which motivates tall hair twink to flip into his chair and grab a joystick, which lets him channel his psychic twink powers into Godzilla, enabling him to level up and yet Ghidorah into space, where he explodes.

Despite that, Godzilla is still mad at the drill submarine for filling up his sky, so he blasts it with an atomic heat breath and crashes it.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon But Godzilla must have custody!

All we need to close this bad boy out is for Drill Stalin to plant a big old kiss on Godzilla

#Monsterdon

This isn't a Gamera movie, so they can't use the power of friendship to recharge Godzilla...

#Monsterdon

I kinda like Ghidora as a centaur, tho, that's nice. #Monsterdon

There we go - Ghidora was in there, under all that armor, repressed by the aliens. Now they're free.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon Monster Zero?

The flying kick gives me #MonsterdonBingo

Kind of a tricky one!

#Monsterdon

As we all know, martial arts at its highest level is all about rotating in midair. #Monsterdon

Team Scooby Doo + Bigwigs is ambushed by goth aliens with more lasers than them, and Stalin challenges his higher level goths to a boxing match, I guess because he has more ranks in Fisticuffsmanship than Swordfighting. He wins and the girl twin says "but you wouldn't hit a girl", so he smirks and karate chops her instead.

#monsterdon

hey! he can see the code now! #monsterdon

Drill Stalin would hit a lady...no surprises there 😬

#Monsterdon

I love that Drill Stalin's… tooth?

Is never explained

#Monsterdon

Captain Gordon’s contract stipulated, “I just want to say one-liners. It doesn’t matter whether they fit or make sense, as long as they sound like a one-liner.”

“Don’t miss the train.”

#Monsterdon

@jonny and your parents probably thought that Film Studies class you took in college was a waste of time. Showed them!

#Monsterdon

@trixter Oh right yeah. They are More of a weird thing that somehow involves the Eternals for no reason.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe What this film lacks in originality is more than made up for with 2 hours of relentless, unceasing action

#monsterdon

I'm bored of the human fighting already, let's start wrapping those 400 plot threads up please...

#Monsterdon

I take back a thing I said two hours ago, that martial arts training was useful actually

#Monsterdon

FLAMING MON MOTHRA!

I love how everyone in the command room just stands and poses rather than take cover for run off somewhere....

#Monsterdon

OK, you *stab* with the ancient amulet.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Capitalism does make us cattle though, Drill Stalin knows this....

#Monsterdon

We're having a dramatic Kaiju Battle between Godzilla and another alien Kaiju I don't know, who I guess I will call "Jerry", Mothra flies ino the rescue, and then David Bowie release a Newer Stronger Gigant to battle her, now equipped with Chainsaw Arms.

This battle consists of the two monsters crashing into each other at high speeds, then ramming each other, then Gigan uses its chainsaw arms to cut off one of mothra's wings, which is very Brutal.

#monsterdon

the fucker snipped Mon Mothra!

#Monsterdon

MO SU RAAAAAAAA

#Monsterdon

LMAO a space golem?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Oh this is very third Matrix movie...

#Monsterdon

*Somebody* really liked Return of the Jedi

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon Explosions == Plot

"There's a way to destroy the Xillian ship, a small thermal exhaust port below the main.." #Monsterdon

Godzilla loves footie. He is the roughest of soccer hooligan.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Neat composite in front of Mount Fuji :blobfox3c:

#Monsterdon

GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL

#Monsterdon

"This Godzilla guy is one tough dude."
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

"It's my mission."

I'm a flat character, this is an action movie and doesn't give two shits about motivations or character development. C'mon, it's about time for another explosion. #Monsterdon

"But why is Godzilla destroying the city?"

It's his deal, man. That's what he does. #Monsterdon

"GRAAAAAAAAAAA! . . . I knew that tuna head wasn't up to much. Next. "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxhdo4HDgg
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

The moment I saw that fancy new bridge I knew it was going down

#Monsterdon

After more bullshit, we're back to our favorite characters, bear suit hunter man, small (human) child and Minya, the small (godzilla) child, and now they're in a road trip for some reason.

Then we go to Australia and Japanese David Bowie unleashes two more monsters, which are like mini-Godzillas, and heavy Metal music starts playing because of how metal this is. But Godzilla swiftly trashes the other Godzillas and the Sydney Opera House gets wrecked in the process.

#monsterdon

HE SAID THE THING!
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Captain Stalin 'Stache sure has a delivery. Of some kind.

#Monsterdon

Honestly thought that waking up Godzilla was going to take a little more work

#Monsterdon

G-man like, I *just got up* and there's this kusarigama fucker and you know what? I'm not having it today. #Monsterdon

Blew his head clean off

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

stay woke, Godzilla #monsterdon

(We hired him because he KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE)

#ItsaMeMario

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

#monsterdon Is he doing a John Wayne accent.. listen pilgrims.. we're gonna wake up.. Godzilla.

#monsterdon YES. "Well, okay then!"

Mario reminiscing

"I used to drive around this track, see, and the monsters, you should have SEEN the monsters...."

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

"Why won't it work on me"

Because you're in love, that's why

#Monsterdon

Rain destruction on the livestock!
Seems like an inefficient use of resources though.
#monsterdon

It’s bullet time somewhere.

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Oops, used my "I can't quit you" too early

#Monsterdon

GIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAN! RISE!!!
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Still expecting this movie to reveal that it's part of the Real Estate Transaction Cinematic Universe somehow

#Monsterdon

"Pick me the most Stalin looking Westerner you can find at the airport!"

#Monsterdon

We've been attacked by sonic the hedgehog. #monsterdon

@jonny Maybe all of our dreams tonight will just be a direct replay of the movie.

#Monsterdon

The motorcycles are a *metaphor* you see #Monsterdon

Motorcycle Fight Scene - Just Because We Can

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Is this one of those "Surrounded" videos I've been hearing about?

#Monsterdon

Oww. That high pitched noise hurts even with the volume turned down.

#Monsterdon

"He's forcing me to relive yanni's greatest hits in my mind! Oh god!" #Monsterdon

Candy is a good girl. That pupper just helped to save Earth.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

Gordon is the most American American an American can be in a Godzilla movie.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

This film wasn't written, it was stitched together out of a vat of cliches. #Monsterdon