It seems this one is having way more fun with the military/action side of events. The JSDF shooting at godzilla is usually a part of the Japanese films but it's maybe secondary to "Godzilla smashing building!" and "Godzilla smashes another monster!" and "Oh no evacuate the everything it's a Godzilla!"
@arrjay "Will" is short for "Godzilliam"
Silliness aside, do torpedoes have safety features to prevent that sort of thing?
This Godzilla (1998) movie is fun and dumb, but it's a subtly different form of fun and dumb than most of the Japanese Godzilla movies are.
Most of the Japanese Godzilla movies seem both more serious (with hints of darker themes) but also more whimsical (with stranger things happening).
(the OG Godzilla movie is an exception as it's played straight and serious).
combat positions, ramming speed, all that shit
(I had my Mustang at the dealership a few years ago and my car was stuck in their delivery bay until they could find a mechanic who could actually drive stick and they were embarrassed and they fucking should well have been)
#Godzilla1998 reminding me that France is the largest military in mainland Europe (this is a caveat for the, BUT TUUUURKEY IS EUROPE).
*Jean Reno tries to drive out at the head of a convoy of bubblegum-chewing French soldiers*
*nothing happens*
MattBrod: "It's not in gear."
Jean Reno: "hmm."
Oh is that because the French are supposed to be bad drivers? That's a misread. French people absolutely know how to drive. The issue is not that they are incompetent, it's that their driving intentions are evil.
(m'excusez mes amies, je vous in prie, c'est juste une blague)
that's right, no one _ever_ does underground maintenance, this would have never been noticed
"It'll be fun!"
We'll climb into a subway tunnel, chase a giant iguana, see the Empire State Building, be back in time for dinner. #Monsterdon
#monsterdon She's weepy and puffy and upset that she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, bitch bitch bitch bitch.... worse than KYLES MOM!
I can believe a big city like New York can have a giant lizard prowling it and still life carries on as much as normal as it can.
Nobody likes us. Everybody hates us. Guess weβll go eat worms
subtitles actually reflectiing how the French would spell "ouais" fucking merde
Parthenogenesis was also a plot point in The Wicker Man. Would burning a giant effigy help?
#monsterdon Where is this shot supposed to be taking place? Giant bore-holes under NYC?
The American military in this movie is completely clean on OPSEC
Fun Fact: Godzilla (1998) is the only MPreg themed movie I have ever watched.
why did you even take that tape a-traveling.
Let's give them a super awkward/cutesy conversation about a-sexual reproduction. #monsterdon
#monsterdon and scientist fella is STILL calling Godzilla "he" ffs
That was a flask of Broderick's own piss. The crew were prevented from saying anything, they just all went along with it...
NRC is *famous* for not having people who feel strongly about close control of nuclear weapons
So, you wanna lure your kaiju *away* from notable landmarks and sensitive infrastructure. Which wouldn't be hard since you've found something it will eat.
But then we couldn't have all this spectacle that stands-in for plot.
here's the accumulated 30 minutes you could just cut straight out of the movie
Godzilla: 2/3
Heckilopters: 0
*MONSTER CHOMP*
Update: three of three. (Of course the third helicopter was referred to as "Echo 4".)
F's in chat for Echo 4, who forgot that helicopters can go up
The helicopters were a very poor idea really...
....they look cool but they seem to have demolished half of Manhattan, I won't miss them.
The real hero here in Godzilla is the steel holding the subways together underneath Godzilla's feet
Where's the poor quetzalcoatl supposed to live now?? #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 #ChryslerBuilding #Q
Have they considered finding a magical and possibly psychic child to help?
The music in this scene definitely implies that we're supposed to be rooting for our hero Godzilla to destroy all of Manhattan and every one of these military personnel. This is weird. Usually Godzilla is supposed to symbolize the inescapable weight of aspects of humanity's folly, embodied in the form of a foe we cannot hope to overcome. But in this one he's apparently our scaly hero?
For a movie that aligns with the #monsterdon perspective it's a damn shame that *cups hands* IT SUUUUUUCKS
imagine how hard those helo crews are clenching doing those manuevers in a city
"you know, we just thought that helicopters weren't dangerous enough to begin with"
oops! all tracer rounds!
Awww, there goes the Flatiron building....
It low-key bothers me when movie creatures have Ken-doll crotches so I do appreciate the cloaca in a non-sexual way.
Theyβre in love!
What do all the C.H.U.Ds thinking about this?
Abs-zilla
YAY FISH
The fish and the lizard are fine.
"That's a lot of fish!"
*two characters stare at each other for a moment*
*you can practically see the filmmakers count to three to leave time for audience laughter*
π
Okay, now we're gonna hang a big anvil over the fish
No matter how late I get to 7/11 in the morning there's always some 'french roast' left. #monsterdon
Look I hate the bit about complaining about the coffee but honestly this would be me so I can't really argue
Godzilla's here to root out the French spies
@brooke Die Hard 3 made the same reference
The worst act of destruction since the world trade center (no not that one, the car bomb)
TWOO LOVE
Oh fuck off with "No other island in the world", a weak excuse for this being set in Manhattan
This movie really needs a better lead. Or not "better", but uh, not Matthew Broderick for sure.
all the Simpsons voice actors are super distracting to me tbh
@trixter dat ass #monsterdon
This looks pretty good on a laptop screen. I don't know if that effect would be ruined on a theater screen or enhanced. #monsterdon
CGI so shiny, so shitty
This movie didn't learn very many lessons from JURASSIC PARK, but it did learn that "big thing stomp" works well, and it executes on it pretty well
I mean, at least they've got the mass panic, that's fairly well done
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
Godzilla, shoe size 105,644 L
If someone never ever went fishing and only knew about the activity from watching movies, it would look like a wildly dangerous pursuit
Ah, "romance"
new word "incipient"
@bstacey because they read the one webcomic where the invisible hand of the free market says that Matthew Broderick has a giant narwhal like tooth. #monsterdon
I see that the theme of the last five minutes of this film is "sexual harassment and inappropriate workplace flirting"
I wonder what Godzilla is up to right now
"Principal Skinner and Moe Syszlak vs Godzilla"
Wow, I see what people were saying about the CGI in daylight....bless....
#Monsterdon
I wonder who Godzilla will end up with
If I had seen this movie when I was a bit older, I would definitely remember Vicki Lewis's performance, phew
looking forward to Godzilla eating Sleazy News Anchor.
Hello, Audrey, today's interchangeable attractive lamp. #monsterdon
Hey look I know it's asking a lot to hope they'd hire someone who knows what footprints look like, but I would hope that they'd hire someone who knows what footprints look like
@SnoopJ this is foreshadowing that this movie is so stupid that it is, in fact, ... eh, ....
It's taken 20 minute to establish "radiation makes things big" which everyone seeing this movie already knows, particularly from the open sequence.
You see, the joke is that Matthew Broderick's character is so smart that he is, in fact, stupid.
We have a radioactive worm we need you to examine. It's inside RFK
@CactuarJoe That's because there was still a straight writer involved. Once Emmerich was on his own, the only thing he knew about straight people is they're always divorced.
lol, I forget the French are the baddies in this...
oh hey it's that one guy who was in goldeneye or something
Launching my #monsterdon thread for Godzilla (1998), a movie I remember liking when I saw it 30,000 years ago but I might hate now that I have seen other Godzilla movies and liked them better. What will my judgement be? Only time will tell!
Monsterdon is the thing where we watch a monster movie every week and provide quality commentary; feel free to join us next week if this sounds fun to you, or mute the hash tag if this sounds boring to you.
Run, iguana! Run from the hubris of man!
I already understand why this move is 2:18
Wow Hank Azaria really let himself go⦠and he grew a tail?
These lizards are monitoring the situation
Here comes a narwhal~~
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath
It was a monster monsterdon.
This is very very very much a movie for little kids.
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath
oh my god, EQUILIBRIUM is on Tubi
DOGE cuts Diagoroβs food budget
I forgot I was even wearing my kaiju shirt that I got for Christmas. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO
@bstacey Chin Godzilla would need to develop an actual atomic heat breath the counter the mechanical spider's unexplained photon torpedoes.
Up next a kaiju movie I never saw and have only vaguely heard of.
https://wikizilla.org/wiki/Daigoro_vs._Goliath
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath
@moira Not the original Godzila, the love child of Godzilla and Jay Leno.
#monsterdon
I want to say one more time:
WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT FUCKING NECK? WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT ENTIRE UPPER BODY?! WHY CHIN? WHY CHIN GODZILLA? WHY?
(i would also like to thank my past self for 100% memory hole-ing this song. how can something be so terrible and yet so forgettable at the same time???)
Final high score. Not blackout, and I will not check off those last 3. (eg: It was humvees that rolled out, the tanks were static)
It keeps raining and some other stuff happens. It's revealed that there's still a godzilla egg somewhere that they missed but now it's hatching so that we could have a sequel if this film made lots of money, which I guess it didn't though, so we must assume that the new baby godzilla will grow up and eat at least one city.
#monsterdon And now we yeet this pile of cinematic magic back into the void where it came from.
IT'S OVER . . . on how we have to sit through long credits with visual effects staff sections.
#Monsterdon #Gino