Ze French have ACTION CIGARETTES

#monsterdon

blah blah blah blah character arc

less talky talky more stompy chompy

#monsterdon

fuck fucking goldie locks and her baby talk after stabbing him in the back

#Godzilla1998 #monsterdon

Siiiiiighhhhhhh

More lizard, less everything that is not lizard

#Monsterdon

This move could use about 75% fewer characters

#monsterdon

"Life, heheh, finds a way"

#monsterdon

@ricci Checkhov's Pronouns #monsterdon

He’s amphibious. He’s pregnant. And he’s a GREAT kisser.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@ricci #monsterdon NEGATIVE IMPACT

@amyfou he came to New York to study the buildings, not destroy them. Is is a movie about Architecture

#Monsterdon

_definite_ ID4 vibes here.

#monsterdon

Why helicopters are annoying in cities (a list):

1) they are loud
2) they are often full of cops
3) their puny missiles cannot track godzillas and will instead destroy famous buildings
4) other

#monsterdon

nothing says military discipline like two helicopters flying in very close single file and *both* shooting at the same time

#Monsterdon

Is everyone watching the same Godzilla movie right now? How is this happening? #monsterdon

Look we just got a solid crotch shot and I think maybe they've been misgendering Godzilla, is all I'm saying

#monsterdon

MONSTER REVEAL

oh jeez they got the shape of his head just so wrong in this one, that's so embarrassing

#monsterdon

lmao a dolly zoom with a completely indiscernable background is a choice

#Monsterdon

GODZILLA CARES NOT FOR YOUR FISH

GODZILLA DEMANDS *PRAWNS*

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 Jean Reno is better than this </3

While Godzilla (1998) does have at least seven thousand characters, it probably needs another two thousand added to match the Heisei films.

#monsterdon

The camera really likes to end on shots of random signs

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 if only they had an oxygen destroyer they could just starve godzilla out

ugh, that annoying "Here comes the Heroic US Military" music the Empire has...

#Monsterdon

This one time, at earthworm camp…

#Monsterdon

💭(the taking of pelham one two three… by godzilla)

#Monsterdon

Actually, maybe Jean Reno should just be the lead. He could play a scientist character whose ideas we actually give a shit about

#Monsterdon

THAT IS NOT HOW BUILDINGS WORK

#monsterdon

Her bosses' misogyny is authentic but depressing

#Monsterdon

LOL hearing Harry Shearer do the Kent Brockman voice, but with, like, an actual face, is kind of amazing

#monsterdon

“Mayor Ebert” seems like an unlikely way to get a good review from the Chicago Sun-Times.

#Monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

GOJIRA!!!

#monsterdon

I wonder if there will be any more jokes in this movie about how Godzilla is large

#monsterdon

"We're looking at a completely incipient creature"

And WE'RE looking at a completely insipid movie.

#Monsterdon

oh god, Insurance Adjuster subplot too.

#monsterdon

"Have you tried simply being cool about the sexual harrassment?"

Yup, it's a 90s movie 😒

#Monsterdon

Now we get a main character, an adorkable scientist who is singing in the rain as he collects worms at Chernobyl while listening to (hopefully waterproof) headphones. This guy would have a fediverse account for sure.

#monsterdon

I can tell this movie is going to be about as subtle as a 100 foot lizard monster

#monsterdon

oh hey I recognize that egg from Alien (1979)

Nice that it's still getting new work! Good for it.

#monsterdon

oh no there goes the godzilla alarm

#monsterdon

This is the first time I just *cannot* participate in #monsterdon, on the grounds that I’m old enough to remember how terrible this one was, and not in any kind of MST3K/Rifftrax/Monsterdon endearingly bad way. It was just shit. And an affront. I hope next week’s movie is actual #monsterdon fun instead of inexplicable corpo bullshit. Even that horrendous Inspector Gadget abomination would have been a better choice. Sorry :/ Have fun or whatever

Why Daigoro's mom got that big 80s feathered hair going on?
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath

Oh also. Enjoy the death of ZIlla from Final Wars. It's cathartic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxhdo4HDgg
#Monsterdon #Gino

oh my god lmfaooooo #godzilla1998 #monsterdon

What a wonderful return to the low expectations of the late 90s! 🦖 Thanks to @Taweret and the #Monsterdon kaijus for anoth-(slips and falls on soft, chewable gumballs)

@ricci

Brings a new meaning to “Come With Me”

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

at least now we know why we heard the riff from "Kashmir" in the subway scene

perhaps ironic that this terrible song has more artistic merit than the entire score of the movie it is bolted to the side of

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Of the year, _absolutely_ yes.

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

@strangefour I liked how O'Neal (soldier boy) was played by Buffy's soldier boy Riley Finn (actor: Marc Blucas) #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@Binder In a movie with, like, seven fewer subplots, it could have been interesting

#Monsterdon

God, can you imagine the sequel to this?

Well, we can't win 'em all, thanks @Taweret !

#monsterdon

It's not a bad decision of a movie in the 1990s without a rap over the closing credits

#Monsterdon

@ricci Very Big Frog (1998)

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Let us never speak of this again.

#monsterdon

Here comes the sequel hook that mercifully wasn't taken....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon It has rained for the entire movie. It's biblical.

The French Tapes.

#monsterdon

Godzilla deserved a better movie than this.

*thinks back over all the Godzilla movies, not just Godzilla (1954) and Godzilla Minus One and Shin Godzilla*

*thinks back over Son of Godzilla and a bunch of the other ones*

No, still, even still.

#monsterdon

"au revoir. also your coffee fucking sucks."

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

French film thief!
#Monsterdon #Gino

@ricci As I said, this is the Godzilla that never ends.. :)

#Monsterdon

that's my husband! i'm gonna kill him!

THE OL' BALL AND CHAIN RIGHT FELLAS

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

how could you Matt, how could you do this to me?!?!?

― Gojira, probably

#Godzilla1998 #monsterdon

I don't hate this movie as much as I did seeing it in theaters, but I still do not like it. I do hate Mathew Broderick more now though.
#Monsterdon #Gino

why are the weapons working this time?

is it really Dad Despair

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

@xerozohar Just a straight-up cover by the son of a man who had actual talent.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

1.21 Gigawatts should make him spit us out!

#monsterdon

@trixter and like this movie, it samples from something better #monsterdon

@Taweret I mean I will never say "no" to a Godzilla movie. #monsterdon

@strangefour

My face watching this movie! (And posture)

#Monsterdon

No fire breath. Only methane burps that get ignited by explosions.
#Monsterdon #Gino

Some F-18s blow up Madison Square Gardens with their Terf missiles, killing the baby godzillas. By the conservation of Kaijus, this causes Big Godzilla to rise from the dead, get mad that his children were exploded and start rampaging again.

#monsterdon

lol, there's still chance for audrey to die....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 just when i thought i was out, they pulled godzilla back in

"somehow, Godzilla returned"

#Monsterdon

Y'all got anymore o' them pergnancy tests

#Monsterdon

@paco is the new "you've died of dysentary on the Oregon trail" #monsterdon

Okay so we run through the mall which is also a stadium and get to a broadcast booth, then we pass a persuasion check to get the news network guy to broadcast their feed so they can tell the world "Oh Fuck Dinosaurs That Are Also Born Pregnant Like Tribbles OH FUCK! Blow up this building plz. We will die heroic deaths to save humanity from the tribble dinosaurs."

#monsterdon

I want Audrey to have to work harder to get Nick's adoration back

#Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

This movie has not earned a somber speech

#Monsterdon

I dub this part of the Godzilla (1998) movie, "Dinosaurs in a Mall".

#monsterdon

@hollie @klu9 I bet Jean Reno would ne fine with you calling him Luc Besson here......#monsterdon

Minizillas have found: STAIRS!

They're super effective!

#monsterdon

It's getting a bit Gremlins II now...

There WILL be a musical number

#Monsterdon

Jean-Phillippe & Jean-Pierre are gone. We only have Jean-Claude and little Jean-Jean left

#Monsterdon

Wait are all the French soldiers named Jean-something #monsterdon

How are there still 20+ minutes of of this thing to go?

#Monsterdon

look everything's gonna be fine if we just reboot the Park Control Systems...

#monsterdon

See now this is just Jurassic Park....

#Monsterdon

LOOK IT'S GODZOOKEY!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

[ Sloshing ] [ Chirping ]

#monsterdon

anyway speaking of learning lessons from JURASSIC PARK poorly

#Monsterdon

This movie is at least 7 other 90s movies and yet called 'Godzilla' for reasons....

#Monsterdon

[marks "Egg" on bingo card]

#Monsterdon

Ridley Scott, take the wheel!!! 🥚 🐣

#Monsterdon

so this is where we detour into Alien, if I understand this movie's love of referencing other movies.

#monsterdon

@hollie Das Boot by Toho!
#monsterdon

Godzilla dream ballet

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@surdfish That's what she said

#Monsterdon