GOJIRA!!!

#monsterdon

I wonder if there will be any more jokes in this movie about how Godzilla is large

#monsterdon

"We're looking at a completely incipient creature"

And WE'RE looking at a completely insipid movie.

#Monsterdon

oh god, Insurance Adjuster subplot too.

#monsterdon

"Have you tried simply being cool about the sexual harrassment?"

Yup, it's a 90s movie 😒

#Monsterdon

Now we get a main character, an adorkable scientist who is singing in the rain as he collects worms at Chernobyl while listening to (hopefully waterproof) headphones. This guy would have a fediverse account for sure.

#monsterdon

I can tell this movie is going to be about as subtle as a 100 foot lizard monster

#monsterdon

oh hey I recognize that egg from Alien (1979)

Nice that it's still getting new work! Good for it.

#monsterdon

oh no there goes the godzilla alarm

#monsterdon

This is the first time I just *cannot* participate in #monsterdon, on the grounds that I’m old enough to remember how terrible this one was, and not in any kind of MST3K/Rifftrax/Monsterdon endearingly bad way. It was just shit. And an affront. I hope next week’s movie is actual #monsterdon fun instead of inexplicable corpo bullshit. Even that horrendous Inspector Gadget abomination would have been a better choice. Sorry :/ Have fun or whatever

Why Daigoro's mom got that big 80s feathered hair going on?
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath

Oh also. Enjoy the death of ZIlla from Final Wars. It's cathartic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxhdo4HDgg
#Monsterdon #Gino

oh my god lmfaooooo #godzilla1998 #monsterdon

What a wonderful return to the low expectations of the late 90s! 🦖 Thanks to @Taweret and the #Monsterdon kaijus for anoth-(slips and falls on soft, chewable gumballs)

@ricci

Brings a new meaning to “Come With Me”

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

at least now we know why we heard the riff from "Kashmir" in the subway scene

perhaps ironic that this terrible song has more artistic merit than the entire score of the movie it is bolted to the side of

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Of the year, _absolutely_ yes.

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

@strangefour I liked how O'Neal (soldier boy) was played by Buffy's soldier boy Riley Finn (actor: Marc Blucas) #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@Binder In a movie with, like, seven fewer subplots, it could have been interesting

#Monsterdon

God, can you imagine the sequel to this?

Well, we can't win 'em all, thanks @Taweret !

#monsterdon

It's not a bad decision of a movie in the 1990s without a rap over the closing credits

#Monsterdon

@ricci Very Big Frog (1998)

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Let us never speak of this again.

#monsterdon

Here comes the sequel hook that mercifully wasn't taken....

#Monsterdon

The French Tapes.

#monsterdon

Godzilla deserved a better movie than this.

*thinks back over all the Godzilla movies, not just Godzilla (1954) and Godzilla Minus One and Shin Godzilla*

*thinks back over Son of Godzilla and a bunch of the other ones*

No, still, even still.

#monsterdon

"au revoir. also your coffee fucking sucks."

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

French film thief!
#Monsterdon #Gino

@ricci As I said, this is the Godzilla that never ends.. :)

#Monsterdon

that's my husband! i'm gonna kill him!

THE OL' BALL AND CHAIN RIGHT FELLAS

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

how could you Matt, how could you do this to me?!?!?

― Gojira, probably

#Godzilla1998 #monsterdon

I don't hate this movie as much as I did seeing it in theaters, but I still do not like it. I do hate Mathew Broderick more now though.
#Monsterdon #Gino

why are the weapons working this time?

is it really Dad Despair

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

1.21 Gigawatts should make him spit us out!

#monsterdon

@trixter and like this movie, it samples from something better #monsterdon

@Taweret I mean I will never say "no" to a Godzilla movie. #monsterdon

@strangefour

My face watching this movie! (And posture)

#Monsterdon

No fire breath. Only methane burps that get ignited by explosions.
#Monsterdon #Gino

Some F-18s blow up Madison Square Gardens with their Terf missiles, killing the baby godzillas. By the conservation of Kaijus, this causes Big Godzilla to rise from the dead, get mad that his children were exploded and start rampaging again.

#monsterdon

lol, there's still chance for audrey to die....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 just when i thought i was out, they pulled godzilla back in

"somehow, Godzilla returned"

#Monsterdon

Y'all got anymore o' them pergnancy tests

#Monsterdon

@paco is the new "you've died of dysentary on the Oregon trail" #monsterdon

I want Audrey to have to work harder to get Nick's adoration back

#Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

This movie has not earned a somber speech

#Monsterdon

@hollie @klu9 I bet Jean Reno would ne fine with you calling him Luc Besson here......#monsterdon

Minizillas have found: STAIRS!

They're super effective!

#monsterdon

It's getting a bit Gremlins II now...

There WILL be a musical number

#Monsterdon

Jean-Phillippe & Jean-Pierre are gone. We only have Jean-Claude and little Jean-Jean left

#Monsterdon

Wait are all the French soldiers named Jean-something #monsterdon

How are there still 20+ minutes of of this thing to go?

#Monsterdon

look everything's gonna be fine if we just reboot the Park Control Systems...

#monsterdon

LOOK IT'S GODZOOKEY!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

[ Sloshing ] [ Chirping ]

#monsterdon

anyway speaking of learning lessons from JURASSIC PARK poorly

#Monsterdon

[marks "Egg" on bingo card]

#Monsterdon

Ridley Scott, take the wheel!!! 🥚 🐣

#Monsterdon

so this is where we detour into Alien, if I understand this movie's love of referencing other movies.

#monsterdon

@hollie Das Boot by Toho!
#monsterdon

Godzilla dream ballet

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@surdfish That's what she said

#Monsterdon

It seems this one is having way more fun with the military/action side of events. The JSDF shooting at godzilla is usually a part of the Japanese films but it's maybe secondary to "Godzilla smashing building!" and "Godzilla smashes another monster!" and "Oh no evacuate the everything it's a Godzilla!"

#monsterdon

@arrjay "Will" is short for "Godzilliam"

#monsterdon

Silliness aside, do torpedoes have safety features to prevent that sort of thing?

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

combat positions, ramming speed, all that shit

#monsterdon

(I had my Mustang at the dealership a few years ago and my car was stuck in their delivery bay until they could find a mechanic who could actually drive stick and they were embarrassed and they fucking should well have been)

#monsterdon

#Godzilla1998 reminding me that France is the largest military in mainland Europe (this is a caveat for the, BUT TUUUURKEY IS EUROPE).

#monsterdon

*Jean Reno tries to drive out at the head of a convoy of bubblegum-chewing French soldiers*

*nothing happens*

MattBrod: "It's not in gear."

Jean Reno: "hmm."

Oh is that because the French are supposed to be bad drivers? That's a misread. French people absolutely know how to drive. The issue is not that they are incompetent, it's that their driving intentions are evil.

(m'excusez mes amies, je vous in prie, c'est juste une blague)

#monsterdon

that's right, no one _ever_ does underground maintenance, this would have never been noticed

#monsterdon

"It'll be fun!"

We'll climb into a subway tunnel, chase a giant iguana, see the Empire State Building, be back in time for dinner. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon She's weepy and puffy and upset that she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, bitch bitch bitch bitch.... worse than KYLES MOM!

I can believe a big city like New York can have a giant lizard prowling it and still life carries on as much as normal as it can.

#Monsterdon

Nobody likes us. Everybody hates us. Guess we’ll go eat worms

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

subtitles actually reflectiing how the French would spell "ouais" fucking merde

#monsterdon

Parthenogenesis was also a plot point in The Wicker Man. Would burning a giant effigy help?

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

#monsterdon Where is this shot supposed to be taking place? Giant bore-holes under NYC?

The American military in this movie is completely clean on OPSEC

#Monsterdon

Fun Fact: Godzilla (1998) is the only MPreg themed movie I have ever watched.

#monsterdon

Let's give them a super awkward/cutesy conversation about a-sexual reproduction. #monsterdon

#monsterdon and scientist fella is STILL calling Godzilla "he" ffs

That was a flask of Broderick's own piss. The crew were prevented from saying anything, they just all went along with it...

#Monsterdon

NRC is *famous* for not having people who feel strongly about close control of nuclear weapons

#Monsterdon

here's the accumulated 30 minutes you could just cut straight out of the movie

#Monsterdon

Godzilla: 2/3

Heckilopters: 0

*MONSTER CHOMP*

Update: three of three. (Of course the third helicopter was referred to as "Echo 4".)

#monsterdon

F's in chat for Echo 4, who forgot that helicopters can go up

#Monsterdon

The helicopters were a very poor idea really...

....they look cool but they seem to have demolished half of Manhattan, I won't miss them.

#Monsterdon

Where's the poor quetzalcoatl supposed to live now?? #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 #ChryslerBuilding #Q

imagine how hard those helo crews are clenching doing those manuevers in a city

"you know, we just thought that helicopters weren't dangerous enough to begin with"

#Monsterdon

oops! all tracer rounds!

#monsterdon

Awww, there goes the Flatiron building....

#Monsterdon

It low-key bothers me when movie creatures have Ken-doll crotches so I do appreciate the cloaca in a non-sexual way.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

think I just saw Godzilla's sack.

Do lizards have external nads?

#Monsterdon

They’re in love!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

What do all the C.H.U.Ds thinking about this?

#Monsterdon

Abs-zilla

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

Okay, now we're gonna hang a big anvil over the fish

#Monsterdon

No matter how late I get to 7/11 in the morning there's always some 'french roast' left. #monsterdon