American Shinji GET IN THE ZILLA MOUTH

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

I'm sorry, you just dazed a mutated radioactive lizard using .. electricity? Siiiiiigh

#Monsterdon

if my high beams made cool CLONK noises like that I might use them more often.

#monsterdon

and they get swallowed by godzilla the end, thanks everyone let's go home now

#monsterdon

man, this movie has the chance to do something so amazing right now, and yet i know it just won't. sad.

#monsterdon

I miss movies where I can leave to go to the bathroom and the movie's just over already.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

This is the Godzilla that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends.

#Monsterdon started watching it,
Not knowing what it was
And they'll continue watching it
Forever just because

monster chomp whatever

#monsterdon

om nom nom #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

look, you don't have to say 'we're in his mouth' it's very clear that's where you are

if this was a modern movie, the LED high beams would have permanently blinded godzilla, if not causing him to burst into a fireball
#monsterdon

Yesssss eat them Godzilla. End this for us all. #Monsterdon

that's one durable cab, not at all a rebuilt piece of shit glued together with duct tape
#monsterdon

The fire breath looks a lot like a propane flamer. Not very nuclear at all. Just leave out one of the keystones of the character, why don't you? #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

think nick THINK what would a WORM DO

#Monsterdon

@hollie We are ‘zilla #Monsterdon

@Taweret I could use a Godzilla movie where Zilla is a dude in a rubber suit and is a Friend of the Children and there are Smol.Ladies and MASERS #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

so they got past godzilla by making him squint?

does this thing have high beams?

no, but i will in a sec :ms_weed_think:

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

"But French cars have different high-beams! I can't find them!"

#monsterdon

why would the headlights even work after all you've put this fucking GM piece of shit through?

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon should have used a Shinden on that kaiju

The problem with portraying Godzilla as a massive animal.instead of a terrifying force of nature is that I'm kinda cheering for the lizard.

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

did the dumbest US soldier just use his brain? is he dumb at military stuff because he's actually supposed to be the world's best cab driver?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon No way those prius cabs would have held up to this.

Hey, it just occurred to me. There’s been no fire-breathing. What the hell sort of Godzilla doesn’t breathe fire? #Monsterdon

You didn't NEED to show us the dude figuring out they can contact the taxi, you could have just stuck ONE LINE in there like "We've got his radio frequency!" and have been DONE #Monsterdon

those taxis are made to last!
#monsterdon
#godzilla1998

BORN PREGNANT #Monsterdon

i vote that we all speed it up to 2x, mute it, and play Yakety Sax from here on out #godzilla1998 #monsterdon

lol godzilla making elephant noises
#monsterdon

lol, name should have been "ARMAND TAMSARIAN"

#Monsterdon

This bit about mapping a license plate to a frequency probably looked really slick in the first draft of this story. #Monsterdon

an actual smart soldier
#monsterdon

@strangefour ok but why is Gary Busey wearing the Godzilla outfit?

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe I think we've got one queued up on https://miru.miyaku.media/

@miru@social.miyaku.media #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

more flammable godzilla breath, the weakest of concessions to the original's atomic breath

#monsterdon

My favorite part of bad movies are the excessive runtimes and jaguar.wav

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Pretty sure they shot these to make an animatronic rides at the theme park, there is no other reason for this nonsense! Fire breathing right on cue. This is a ride.

@Taweret what about Gamera: GOTU (1997)?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

at least I'm not in the theatre where by now I would have the worst headache

i bet if we rewatch Avatar it would be this big of a disappointment

#monsterdon

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe ​:godzilla:​ #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

You know what movie they should jam into this one? The Chris Nolan Batman. There should be a Batmobile chasing Godzilla. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

'zillas grow so fast they must metabolize air, and be in constant agony

#Monsterdon

There was a practical ZIlla suit made for this movie, but I don't think any footage of it was left in the final movie. Maybe on the bridge there's a shot?
#Monsterdon #Gino

And the monster fucked off into 25 more minutes.

#Monsterdon

No, the military would have definitely driven the right through that taxi. You don't play chicken with some idiot in a Humvee
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Why does this Godzilla have such hideously long and beefy arms? It's unnatural!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

This bit about arguing which streets to take would’ve been much funnier about 90 minutes earlier in the movie

Not truly funny, but funnier than it is #Monsterdon

I'm rooting for you, Godzilla

#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIAZILLA 🏙️💥🦖

More than 1,000 "soft architectural pieces" made up the falling debris you see.

#Godzilla1998

TURN AROUND THE CAB'S TURNING RADIUS IS TIGHTER THAN GODZILLAS

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#Monsterdon

New York geography references that I do not understand.

That was some *rough* CGI.

I like how Hank Azaria's New York accent kinda comes and goes here.....

#Monsterdon

Legitimately shocked they didn't rip off the "objects in the mirror are closer than they appear" gag. #Monsterdon

FIRE ZE MISSILE

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

So much product placement.
#Monsterdon

Any self respecting Kaiju movie would've abruptly ended with the Big Boom WTF movie WTF are you DOING??? #Monsterdon

@JoeWynne I'll just note that the list does *not* apparently include a requirement that he can't be a girl.

And yet.

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

I guess this movie was released a few months before Swatch Internet Time.

#Monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

Oh, right, New Yorkers have opinions about routes. #Monsterdon

just look it up on godzilla maps y'all smh

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

@brennen his mom told him to use his words! #monsterdon

i-- i don't think that's-- you know what, nevermind.

#monsterdon

"I'M NINETY FEET TALL AND YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DRIVE AWAY FROM ME??? I'M A LIZARD AND I'M SMARTER THAN YOU." #Monsterdon

OH SHUT UP BLUE RAJA

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#Godzilla's pissed cuz all the Godzuki's were callously murdered!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@plaidtron3000 also JUST that building, precision payload calculation there #monsterdon

Sick ramp of Godzilla's big toe!
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

THAT CAB CAN NO LONGER DRIVE, YOU LITERALLY JUST SHOWED ITS FRONT SUSPENSION FOLDING UP AND THE FRAME CORKSCREWING LIKE 45 DEGREES

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon

"He looks angry." Do you really think misgendering is a good idea right now?

Okay, the foot thing though. AFAIK, that was one of the forced-perspective bigature models, that was then digitally adjusted to line up with the FX cues and actors.

I feel like the head may have been too.

@CactuarJoe It's a godzilla movie with the godzilla stripped out. #monsterdon

Oh I remember this level in Burnout #Monsterdon

The romantic music is like the Carrie end graveyard scene

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Blockbuster video spotted!
#Monsterdon

Lol slapstick!

@Taweret disrespectful :/ #Monsterdon

Poor Daddy Godzilla, his babies are all dead. :blobfoxcry2: 💔💔💔💔 #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon #Godzilla

y'know

i can come up with a credible way to edit the star wars christmas special into coherence but so far, on this one?

i got nothin'

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon

False endings. A crime against humanity.

@Taweret@timeloop.cafe Please, movie. My children are starving.

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

he looks angry??? dude I'M angry, why is this movie still going???

#monsterdon

so what do you think new york's repair is going to cost? like at least $20, right? more? :dragngrimace:

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

I wish I was in
Tijuana
Eating barbequed Iguana

#Monsterdon

Still calling Godjira He, even after he had babies. Now that's the kind of Allyship I like to see! #monsterdon

Dammit, I thought it was over! Please?

#MOnsterdon

Wait did this movie release in 3D? That would explain some of these shitty shot choices.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

okay THAT fake out ending is probably the biggest fuck you a movie has ever given us

#monsterdon

"He looks angry."

Uh yeah, you killed all his kids.

#monsterdon #Gozilla1998 #WrongGodzilla 🦖🦎

Where's that atomic breath from earlier? Come on Godzilla finish them off
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Not Woodstock 2. '99.

Godzilla '98 = Woodstock '99

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodstock_'99

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow Independence Day was kind of that.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

The problem is this is like a Godzilla movie with the bazinga guy as the lead :/ #Monsterdon

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
— the audience

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

#monsterdon wow, they made it out. They kissed! The logical end of the movie. Surely there can't be 25 more minutes to go, that would be impossible

#Godzilla1998 - The Early Years #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon where's our proper matchmoving? What's with this crappy CGI fire? Gojira, good to see you're not dead...

what a lame romantic moment
#monsterdon #godzilla1998

"I could use a coffee."

Me too, Reno. Me too. With a lot of additional booze. #monsterdon

Zilla back like "how fucking DARE"

#monsterdon #godzilla1998