the Jurrasic Park theme should start playing *now*.

#monsterdon

oh yeah, small arms fire against a kaiju, that always works. #Monsterdon

don't move, it's vision is based on movement.

#WrongMovie #monsterdon

radioactive

it's radioactive

dun dun dunnnnnnnn

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

Iguana head but a human wrestler body #Monsterdon

10 million unknown viruses blast him all at once
#monsterdon

Wake up and smell the fish, sewer kaiju.

#Monsterdon

He doesn't even look like Godzilla, where's his cheeky eyes?

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIAZILLA 🏙️💥🦖

The fish pile was made up of 2,000 foam fish

#Godzilla1998

- P R E S S S T A R T -

#Monsterdon

START RUNNING, BUELLER

#monsterdon

Anyway, the boy scientist concocted a plan to lure the Godzilla to a trap with a giant pile of fish, which the army has surrounded with guns.

I like the logistics of the scientist getting the soldiers to help him open the manholes so the dinosaur will smell the bait. That's a nice touch of logistics weird.

#monsterdon

Brodericks character is now ordering the soldiers around? Sure. Why not. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe ah, so, a typical Emmerich/Devlin disaster movie. gotcha. #monsterdon

Godzilla impersonates an earthquake?

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

i need bbc sherlock-style edits of matthew broderick's brain blasts in this movie

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

CHUG - cannibalistic humanoid underground Godzilla

#monsterdon

Maybe ONE MORE MANHOLE will be the exact right one...

#monsterdon

This movie cost like $150 million to make and, to be fair, it totally looks like it.

#Monsterdon

@bstacey thinking outside that box! #Monsterdon

wait maybe all the fish is a reference to godzilla's atomic origins.

nuclear fishin'!

#monsterdon

The smell must be brutal
#monsterdon
#godzilla1998

"Use bait to catch the animal" had to be thought up by the movie's resident genius guy

#Monsterdon

@Violinknitter And the idea that this French person cannot make a decent espresso with all the resources of New York City at his disposal? Ridiculous.

An American might not make French coffee using American grocery stores. But a French person totally could.

#monsterdon

Okay but how much of the budget went into that giant mound of fish?
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

What did they do with all that fish after filming ?

#Monsterdon

You heard the Earthworm Expert! Do it!

#monsterdon

dang I forgot how much French was in this

though tbh I forgot pretty much everything except the worms and a few of the "battle" scenes I think

#monsterdon

#monsterdon how are boats STILL falling off Godzilla's back, how many boats did she pick up

O'Neal? with one L? that cant be right #monsterdon

The city is evacuating, but the coffee shop is still selling donuts, at a significant mark up no doubt. 😆

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

dude, you can buy any coffee bean you want in a city that size. jesus

#Monsterdon

At least this wet lettuce has some French dressing

#Monsterdon

That's like the fourth shot of the twin towers. Guess it's too late for a content warning, but: content warning. #monsterdon

Hey, if Godzilla is female, she’ll clearly have the hots for Dr. Worm. They could use that! #Monsterdon

Just leave a trail of Reeses Pieces.

#Monsterdon #Godzilla

you know, earthworms, famously just like giant reptiles (as we all know),

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

oh that's right, Broderick's gonna ELECTRIFY ALL OF NEW YORK

#monsterdon

"he's just an animal."

more evidence that the filmmakers did NOT understand godzilla

#monsterdon

How can you lose a big lizard though? Amateur hour!

#Monsterdon

I don't think Godzilla is going to be stopped by a curtain of brick.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Perfectly zilla sized subway tunnels #monsterdon

When this is over I'm having a Bumblebee Tuna sandwich and a Pepsi

#Monsterdon

Godzilla escapes quarantine and spreads COVID-19 everywhere! #Monsterdon

OK, so Godzilla can tunnel now.

OK.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Gozilla's in a pet-free building! We got him now!

#monsterdon

Do you want CHUDS? This is how you get CHUDS. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

@Lazarou In fairness, I tend to remember coffee being mostly terrible in the US in the 80's and 90's. #monsterdon

"I don't know what's going on"

I do, which is unusual for a #Monsterdon movie.

But don't worry, you're not missing anything.

ah oui you can tell eet eez le french surveillance vanne becos eet has ze france flagge et le shitty coffee jokes

#monsterdon

We do seem to be sticking to the Godzilla movie checklist with "science character", "journalism character", "boat disaster" and "panicked city evacuation scene".

#monsterdon

the main thing I remember about this movie is the promotions it did with taco bell and kfc

#monsterdon

Ha ha! French guys complaining about American comestibles! It's funny because everything tastes better in France! Because they go on strike and set stuff on fire when it doesn't! #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

For nothing? having a Godzilla on the loose sounds like a pretty good reason to evacuate #monsterdon

Oh look... It's that guy from that show... Desperate Housewives.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

The biggest disaster to hit the city since the New York Jets

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

"Finally you got a little *chutzpah*! This Godzilla is so *mishugenas*, right? He must be a *goy*!" -- the New Yawk girl from New Yawk City

#monsterdon

@Terencio

Yeah, Godzilla's a forrenur, should be playing Immigrant Song

#Monsterdon

Haha making the French eat American food. #Monsterdon

Well at least when the giant monster is threatening everything they are just like BUT THE ECONOMY, they nailed that part

#monsterdon

The French are in league with Godzilla. #Monsterdon

wai are they randomly playing Led Zepps Kashmir in the background?

#monsterdon

Siskel and Ebert acting like an old married couple is pretty on the mark. :)

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1989

A politician? putting "the economy" first when lives are at risk? that would never happen #monsterdon

So Roland Emmerich directed this goofball film.

Two years before this, he directed Independence Day. Siskel and Ebert gave Independence Day two thumbs down.

Keep that in mind as you watch Mayor Ebert…

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@kcarr2015

That explains all the footprints Godzilla's been leaving

#Monsterdon

The Siskel and Ebert bit is just the fucking worst. What they hell were they thinking? #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

Oh snap, Robert Lesser, the fists-with-your-toes dude from the #DieHard prologue sighted!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Oh shit. And we need to call Ghostbusters too!
#monsterdon

since the world trade center bombing. wow.

#monsterdon

Wow. Really Gene and Ebert?

Wtf.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

WTC bombing? The first one I think
#monsterdon

Oooh, in three years, that’s gonna play different. #Monsterdon

"No need to panic!" I think there's a pretty big reason to panic, actually...
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I hope when my lady love sees me on TV she hears flutes too

#Monsterdon

look there's a monster on the loose, but she's gotta visit The Bone Zone

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Yeah, makes sense. This is the sort of news story where you only want SOME of your staff reporting on it.

"I saw him on TV twice, that means we're in LOVE!" #Monsterdon

"Evacuate Manhattan? That's over three million people. Has that ever been done before?"

"I don't think so."

Look, there's no _additional_ dishonor in just having your characters face the camera and start reeling off facts. It would still be stupid but then we could get to the end credits a little faster, and in no worse shape.

#monsterdon

Lucy needs stepped on, a little bit

#Monsterdon

Shout out to the Army Guy in this movie with the Rainbow Dash-like assignment patch.

#monsterdon

I mean, at least the plot is advancing at a good clip.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon 2nd slur

BTW #Monsterdon
isn’t #Godzilla1998 when we discover they were always a she and not a he?

Characters in this #monsterdon in no order:

"Godzilla" (antihero maybe)

Team Science/Army:
Boy Scientist (aka "Wormy")
Girl Scientist
Colonel Grumpy
Sneezy
Frenchman?

Team Journalism:
Curly
Asshole Boss
Asshole Boss's Secretary
Curly's Hatted Friend
Curly's Unhatted Friend

Team Other People:
Not-Mamdani
Panicked Large Boat Crew (Japanese)
Panicked Small Boat Crew (Gaijin)
Fisherman

who is your favorite character?

is he in the sewers

I bet he's in the sewers of NY

#monsterdon

"...how could something so big disappear?"
"No idea, but there are reports of a giant shrubbery that's moving down the beach."

#Monsterdon #Godzilla

After the initial attack, he shrunk to real-lizard size
#monsterdon

Hide?!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@Lazarou "I wanna Be a Part of it, New Yawk New YAAAAAAWK" #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

"Any word from the Mayor's office?"

Yeah, he's giving this movie two thumbs down. #Monsterdon

And now a solid thirty seconds of Hank Azaria having what appears to be a brain freeze. #Monsterdon

Just because everyone is walking fast doesn't mean the movie is fast-paced

#monsterdon

Cat's out of the bag now!
#monsterdon

CG Zilla is causing problems for the city. #Monsterdon

Oh man, big VHS cameras, that's nice
#monsterdon
#Godzilla1998

good thing it's raining, so nobody can tell he peed his pants.

#monsterdon

Best acting so far: terror from Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria!

#monsterdon

godzilla taint

#monsterdon

It's Homer Simpson!
#Monsterdon