"he's just an animal."

more evidence that the filmmakers did NOT understand godzilla

#monsterdon

How can you lose a big lizard though? Amateur hour!

#Monsterdon

I don't think Godzilla is going to be stopped by a curtain of brick.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Perfectly zilla sized subway tunnels #monsterdon

When this is over I'm having a Bumblebee Tuna sandwich and a Pepsi

#Monsterdon

Godzilla escapes quarantine and spreads COVID-19 everywhere! #Monsterdon

Gozilla's in a pet-free building! We got him now!

#monsterdon

Do you want CHUDS? This is how you get CHUDS. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

@Lazarou In fairness, I tend to remember coffee being mostly terrible in the US in the 80's and 90's. #monsterdon

"I don't know what's going on"

I do, which is unusual for a #Monsterdon movie.

But don't worry, you're not missing anything.

ah oui you can tell eet eez le french surveillance vanne becos eet has ze france flagge et le shitty coffee jokes

#monsterdon

the main thing I remember about this movie is the promotions it did with taco bell and kfc

#monsterdon

We do seem to be sticking to the Godzilla movie checklist with "science character", "journalism character", "boat disaster" and "panicked city evacuation scene".

#monsterdon

Ha ha! French guys complaining about American comestibles! It's funny because everything tastes better in France! Because they go on strike and set stuff on fire when it doesn't! #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

For nothing? having a Godzilla on the loose sounds like a pretty good reason to evacuate #monsterdon

Oh look... It's that guy from that show... Desperate Housewives.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

The biggest disaster to hit the city since the New York Jets

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

"Finally you got a little *chutzpah*! This Godzilla is so *mishugenas*, right? He must be a *goy*!" -- the New Yawk girl from New Yawk City

#monsterdon

@Terencio

Yeah, Godzilla's a forrenur, should be playing Immigrant Song

#Monsterdon

Haha making the French eat American food. #Monsterdon

Well at least when the giant monster is threatening everything they are just like BUT THE ECONOMY, they nailed that part

#monsterdon

wai are they randomly playing Led Zepps Kashmir in the background?

#monsterdon

Siskel and Ebert acting like an old married couple is pretty on the mark. :)

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1989

A politician? putting "the economy" first when lives are at risk? that would never happen #monsterdon

So Roland Emmerich directed this goofball film.

Two years before this, he directed Independence Day. Siskel and Ebert gave Independence Day two thumbs down.

Keep that in mind as you watch Mayor Ebert…

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@kcarr2015

That explains all the footprints Godzilla's been leaving

#Monsterdon

The Siskel and Ebert bit is just the fucking worst. What they hell were they thinking? #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

Oh snap, Robert Lesser, the fists-with-your-toes dude from the #DieHard prologue sighted!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Oh shit. And we need to call Ghostbusters too!
#monsterdon

since the world trade center bombing. wow.

#monsterdon

Wow. Really Gene and Ebert?

Wtf.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

WTC bombing? The first one I think
#monsterdon

Oooh, in three years, that’s gonna play different. #Monsterdon

"No need to panic!" I think there's a pretty big reason to panic, actually...
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I hope when my lady love sees me on TV she hears flutes too

#Monsterdon

look there's a monster on the loose, but she's gotta visit The Bone Zone

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Yeah, makes sense. This is the sort of news story where you only want SOME of your staff reporting on it.

"I saw him on TV twice, that means we're in LOVE!" #Monsterdon

"Evacuate Manhattan? That's over three million people. Has that ever been done before?"

"I don't think so."

Look, there's no _additional_ dishonor in just having your characters face the camera and start reeling off facts. It would still be stupid but then we could get to the end credits a little faster, and in no worse shape.

#monsterdon

Lucy needs stepped on, a little bit

#Monsterdon

Shout out to the Army Guy in this movie with the Rainbow Dash-like assignment patch.

#monsterdon

I mean, at least the plot is advancing at a good clip.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon 2nd slur

BTW #Monsterdon
isn’t #Godzilla1998 when we discover they were always a she and not a he?

is he in the sewers

I bet he's in the sewers of NY

#monsterdon

"...how could something so big disappear?"
"No idea, but there are reports of a giant shrubbery that's moving down the beach."

#Monsterdon #Godzilla

After the initial attack, he shrunk to real-lizard size
#monsterdon

Hide?!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@Lazarou "I wanna Be a Part of it, New Yawk New YAAAAAAWK" #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

"Any word from the Mayor's office?"

Yeah, he's giving this movie two thumbs down. #Monsterdon

And now a solid thirty seconds of Hank Azaria having what appears to be a brain freeze. #Monsterdon

Just because everyone is walking fast doesn't mean the movie is fast-paced

#monsterdon

Oh man, big VHS cameras, that's nice
#monsterdon
#Godzilla1998

good thing it's raining, so nobody can tell he peed his pants.

#monsterdon

Best acting so far: terror from Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria!

#monsterdon

godzilla taint

#monsterdon

...ah that 90's accurate slur use >_> #Monsterdon

It's Homer Simpson!
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

aw, the halcyon days when you could use the 'r' slur and it was hilarious.

In New York concrete jungle where dreams are made of

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@cd0 Don't buy watches or handbags from anything coming out of the East River either, no matter how genuine they may appear to be. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I'm enjoying the part where the police lines bounce up and down before the giant monster appears.

#monsterdon

Can we watch Barney

#Monsterdon

Barney!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon you know what that is? That's an impact tremor, that's what that is.

Wait, sorry, wrong movie.

The thing about Jurassic Park is that it knew when to *stop* trying to be funny

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

Godzilla: "I'M WALKING HERE!"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 lol mayor ebert

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 if only the united states military had invested in giant mech units

oh! the humanity

ayy, Goji-san is walkin' here!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon New York, I am in you!

i actually like the wharf/boat bit

#monsterdon

@ricci well I figure an hour filler, then they realize they have to *conclude* the movie and get plot going again

#monsterdon

lmao why was the dock exploding from the tidal wave
#monsterdon

Grab your surfboard, bro!

#monsterdon

This shot had so much promise. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

@arrjay 2 hours, I think

#monsterdon

That fishing pole gag makes no sense.

#monsterdon

I'm so glad the music cues to tell me when to be afraid, otherwise I'd have had no idea.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou SAME
#Monsterdon #godzilla1998

So much rain, it's like looking outside....

This old dude is dead

#Monsterdon

Why G eat little bait fish?

#Monsterdon

Amazing, we have connected all the plot points in like the first 20 minutes: nuclear tests, mutated earthworms, Gojira. Ok. We're all done.
#monsterdon

movie pitch: Die Hard but instead of John Gruber its Godzilla #monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIAZILLA 🏙️💥🦖

Matthew Broderick's character's name is Dr. Niko Tatopoulos. The last name is the same as the designer of this film's Godzilla.

#Godzilla1998

hank azaria is doing nothing but chomping on a burger in this scene and he's kicking Broderick's ass.

#monsterdon

Nice guys finish last because they let their lady finish first #Monsterdon

"College sweetie" honey I'm sorry he liked you and all but

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

Ugh, not liking the 90s sexual politics though...

#Monsterdon

( useless news fucking plot continues )

#monsterdon

UM ACTUALLY, those feet prints are WAYYY too big to be Allosaurus. Though, Godzilla is likely a theropod, because of the shape of his footprint, let alone what he looks like when we see him later. #Godzilla #Godzilla98 #Monsterdon

It's Moe Syzlack!

#Monsterdon

"A completely incipient species!"

And some insipid dialogue #Monsterdon

"at last, someone's interested in my earthworms!"

#monsterdon

So Godzilla starts in French Polynesia and goes all the way around the world to New York? Wrecking LA wouldn't be spectacular enough I guess? #monsterdon

Godzilla on Bikini Beach

#Monsterdon

"We're looking at an insipid creature..."

#monsterdon

It's right off the american easter seaboard! And we don't even know what it is!

My mom: "It's Biggus Dickus!"

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

"Colonel, we just got a report of three fishing trawlers going down!"

We got it from the Fishing Disaster Hotline! #Monsterdon

Okay the boat rising back up to the surface ominously as a Godzilla fake out is kind of a cool shot.
#Monsterdon #Gino