Godzilla’s sound was fully the TRex sound from Jurassic Park, yes? #Monsterdon

You know, I like my Godzilla to be a guy in a rubber suit who terrorizes a Fischer Price village. Those are more fun. #Monsterdon #NoCGI

movies on my letterboxd watchlist that I keep not watching because they're over 2 hours:

- Wings, the first ever Best Picture winner
- Children of Paradise, popularly considered the best French movie. Like, period.
- Some Came Running, starting my mid-century modern girlfriend Shirley Maclaine

#monsterdon

Totally unanticipated that if friendly air is heading towards ground that the ground might accidentally the air, these guys need more glasses-wearing nerds I guess.

#monsterdon

Colonel Hicks was played by Kevin Dunn, who I know better as Milton Angland, the psychic in the beginning of Ghostbusters II who correctly predicts that the world will end on new-years-eve. #monsterdon

Dude just cocked his M-16 like it was a MAC-10, nice.

#monsterdon

godzill 1998 muppet version, matthew broderick is suddenly the absolutely correct choice for a main guy.

#monsterdon

@trixter do you think they got the Big Guns out yet?
#monsterdon

Fucking americans don't know they need masers

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I'll never get over Godzilla's AMERICAN DAD chin

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I wonder if they mocapped an iguana for that. #monsterdon

This lizard really digs you. Get it? Digs you? #monsterdon #Gozilla1998 #WrongGodzilla 🦖🦎

It’s pitch black in here. You’re filming nothing

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

The french dudes and the worm guy use bubblegum (making them look more American) and an Elvis impersonation (to sound more American) to get past an army checkpoint. Props to them I guess.

Meanwhile, the Army is trying the "giant fish pile plan again" but putting the fish pile in Central Park where I guess their guns are less likely to destroy buildings.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon This movie is only half over?

yes, fuck 'em up, gojira-san!

#monsterdon

Godzilla loves clearing a path

#Monsterdon

@wohali Not that anyone here is likely to want to, but if someone wants to watch an _actually good_ Elvis Presley movie, watch King Creole.

100% serious. Walter Matthau's in it too.

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

MFer's gonna awaken a Balrog.

#monsterdon

damn tho, why this movie so fucking MOIST
#monsterdon

@floatybirb Yeah, I suspect the French "agents" of being on some kind of egg hunt, money hunt, something. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

one hour left?

time for another cocktail...

#monsterdon

Humm, I think Hank Azaria is really trying to have a threesome. Only this can explain how much he wants to hel Audrey. She isn't a likeable character.
#monsterdon
#Godzilla1998

#Monsterdon got an out loud chuckle:

Ah thank you very much

@Lazarou "..and I'm all out of gum!" --dad too tired to make a real joke. #monsterdon

"It's not in gear" lol good one as if Euros aren't *still* driving stick

#monsterdon

"It's not in gear."

Hummvees are auto.

Source: I was a hummvee driver in the Army in 1998. #monsterdon

He did not just say that about lizards! They are Precious Beans!
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon You can tell it's New York because she's got her own parking meter.

@Lazarou It’s like smoking. No one smokes anymore, either, right?

#Monsterdon

After being fired from the army science job for getting his video leaked, wormy is abducted by the French guy who hates coffee, who reveals himself to be a special French secret agent or foreign legion or something, and the French guy drives him to their secret ammo dump (full of guns that they brought in America) so they can go godzilla nest hunting I guess.

Maybe they want a godzilla egg, I dunno, I don't remember this movie very well.

#monsterdon

Nobody chews gum anymore....

#Monsterdon

you can't be scared because the movie won't commit and you can't laugh because the jokes aren't good and you can't care about the characters because they're all just vehicles for mediocre quips

c'est le purgatoire cinématographique

#monsterdon

Blondie, you are WAY more invested in this relationship than makes ANY sense

#Monsterdon

@ricci People who liked the idea of a Godzilla movie, but never liked any Godzilla movies. #Monsterdon

Oh good, I was hoping they'd find a way to make these characters MORE annoying. #Monsterdon

@arrjay yup! They pronounce ALL the consonants! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

FINALLY! This track is a Banger. (Jamiroquai, Deeper Underground.)

I forgot how kind of bafflingly bad this movie is. That's all. #monsterdon

...and stop calling me urine

#Monsterdon

if france is gojira's mother, then the united states is definitely its abusive father

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

oh this is Renegade French isn't it

#monsterdon

"This is America. You can buy anything."

Haha. Ow #Monsterdon

@SnoopJ #monsterdon

well, he rented the car. So it was technically his car?

“I’m afraid I can’t do that [Mr. Bond] #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Of all the things the French have stolen I miss Matthew Broderick the least.

Somebody REALLY wants to make some Godzilla egg crepes. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

@Bluedepth But I like how Hank Azaria is trying to save their love life (what a romantic!), and I LOVE that the French agent just picked the worm guy in a "cab" #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon Audrey needs to be eaten by the monster. Tired of her, time for her to go.

Was there ever a French James Bond?

#Monsterdon

I really want him to go full Leon, even though I know it's the wrong movie.

#Monsterdon

He's been kidnapped by the side plot. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

why is there even a "car chase" here

#monsterdon

Woaaaah

We're halfway there

Ohhhh oh!

Livin' on a prayer

⏳😭

#Monsterdon

oh the french have re-entered the plot

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

EVIL FRENCH TAXI DRIVER??? #monsterdon

classic women smh all they know how to do is chase dinosaur steal top secret tape and lie

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

this wants to be Jurassic Park AND Independence Day AND a comedy AND a serious disaster movie AND a romance and it's none of them

#monsterdon

Serious question:

Who wanted this movie?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Took me a minute to catch up because I missed the start time, but I'm here now.

And look, maybe you should have held onto the tapes? IDK? (I forgot, did she get fired?)

(Cloverfield did this better, but Cloverfield had the benefit of being after 2001. Just saying.)

Audrey is just a complete piece of shit. She stole his stuff, ruined his job, lied about her job. She has not done one good thing in this whole film.
#monsterdon

Yes Matthew Run! Run from the movie!! #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

#monsterdon Did I ruin your life? Did stealing your private things lead to some unwanted consequences? Could we still have a relationship? Could I kinda really screw you over some more? I kinda need a supply of stupid moon-eyed boys to feed upon.

Audrey if you're not a reporter, then that "on/off the record shit"? What?

#monsterdon

this is what j-school does to you
#monsterdon

“You were supposed to be my friend”

She’s a reporter. (Ish.) You haven’t talked to her in 8 years. Trust her why??

#Monsterdon

i thought pregnant folks weren't supposed to have fish #godzilla1998 #monsterdon

semi-fun fact about me, I have seen both Vicki Lewis and Matthew Broderick on Broadway. In Chicago and The Producers, respectively.

#monsterdon

@cinebox My headcanon is that she ran overland. And somehow made DC 100 stealth checks.

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

@shom I can believe that though

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon So these bars in NYC, they are dedicated in staying open!

Yeah, because any politician should have responses to Godzilla attacks on their platform
#Monsterdon

I do like that she played the "it's pronounced Gojira" card. #Monsterdon

ok, at least he adapted to that pretty quickly, but the non-glasses-wearers not doing much to avoid the stereotypes.

#monsterdon

@floatybirb Sure it's silly, but I DO like how this 1998 movie was open to showing the complicated real world where sexuality is not confined to a simple binary! #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

haha 'an enormous population' is structurally ambiguous he's already an enormous population!

it reproduces asexually

me too :ms_asexual_flag:

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

@ohiofi I choose to believe that is Henry Cavill's Clark Kent. Without glasses. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

mine. ONLY ON BETACAM.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Meanwhile, every once in a while, we see the French..

Meanwhile, in MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE

#Monsterdon

Awesome view of Godzilla eye! #Monsterdon

@Willowbriar ...passed the pregnancy test lol

#Monsterdon

This movie is confused about what to classify the giant pregnant iguana's gender as.
But the real Godzilla loves his daughter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG1T0URuTWw
#Monsterdon #Gino

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

Imagine accidentally walking into Godzilla's ass while in that tunnel....

#Monsterdon

If only there was some way to detect radiation. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

Nothin' down here

nothin' but alligators

and I guess this beholder. how y'doin' buddy?

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

Bingo!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 #MonsterdonBingo

remembering how the xilien in GODZILLA FINAL WARS says "I knew that tuna-eating lizard was useless!" re: this zilla

#monsterdon

“First sighting, top secret”

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Broderick has a working cut of the film

#Monsterdon

According to the Trangents podcast, Godzilla is a he/him lesbian. This is canon and I will hear no dissent #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Ya know where lizards like to lay eggs? Cold, wet cities..

Unless you are also proposing parthenogenesis this lizard isn't making any eggs. Well that or Mr. Godzilla is a deadbeat who lets the Ms. do all the work.

#Monsterdon

Where's the fun in... quiet, you sexually dimorphic species, you. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

He kept my publicity shot ❤️

#Monsterdon

Forty six dollars? That's a lot of money back now. (Actually that's a lot of money to spend in a bodega period.) #monsterdon

as much as I don't like this character, bro, do not get back with her, holy shit?

#Monsterdon

Many animals travel to New York to fuck themselves....

#Monsterdon