Welp, another day, another complete failure by Van Helsing. #Monsterdon

The night scenes in this #Monsterdon are pretty daylight-y I mean there is only so much you can do with blue gels

Totally channeling Dark Shadows. #Monsterdon

Carfax Abbey!!

Can I learn whether my prospective auto purchase has been in a wreck or a flood here? >snicker<

#Monsterdon

Jonathan looks like Mr Bean and Arthur looks like Luke Skywalker, it's very distracting

#monsterdon

"....I brought this bench all the way from Transylvania."

#Monsterdon #Dracula

so much day for night whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

All these closeups on Jack!Drac are just showing us that dude looks _way_ too pink for somebody that's supposed to be undead and who feasts on blood. He looks like he's probably already snacked on half a dozen girls on the way over for the main course.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

These men have the fluffiest bows on their neckwear that I've ever seen

Whatever barbiturates they gave Palance for this film, I want some. #monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

@trixter also *heavy breathing intensifies*

#Monsterdon

Ambiguous time of day: check

Everyone except Jonathan starts acting weird when Dracula is mentioned: check

Doggies: check

All is right with the world, but not too right

#Monsterdon

Shoot. Skipping ahead because commercials made me miss why there's a round the clock guard on the house.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

So I guess fruit under a glass globe was a thing?

palance! PALANCE! Wake up!

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Who in 1974 would you choose to play Dracula over Jack Palance? #monsterdon

Is that good teeth effects or is Jack's teeth really that bad?!

#monsterdon

Kinda miss the pointy incisors #monsterdon

The facial expressions are just so fucking hilarious I can't stop cackling #monsterdon #dracula1974

Drac needs to use Ultra Brite on his toofies. #monsterdon

I miss a good chair that comes up to my armpits

#monsterdon

Between the bad day for night and the video transfer Drac's looking pretty blue in that yard. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Your doctor damn it, this isn't a game of poker, van Helsing

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon i love how in the 1970s zoom lenses were still kinda new and hot and they exercised them *with gusto*

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

Look at that lovely gray horsie cantering them over to Lucy's place!

Not only did he sleep through the whole day but he did so fully dressed, on top of the covers, and before finishing his drink. #monsterdon

Easy, just tie her legs together when she goes to bed #monsterdon

This doctor saying “You’ll be fine” sounds somehow like a threat #monsterdon #dracula1974

Oh no, not the unhinged terror of...SOMNAMBULISM

#Monsterdon

@Louisa i always thought of carfax and lucy's place as urban mansions, not country estates

#monsterdon

These travel and transition scenes are so bland and boring after herzog...

#monsterdon

@nev fuckin wrecked and i deserve it #monsterdon

1-877-karfax 4 kids #monsterdon

Light over at Frankenstein place. #monsterdon

The walls RED. The lamp RED. The smoking jacket RED. Who's the vampire here? #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Dracula definitely checks whether there's a great tall staircase before he buys an estate. #monsterdon

"Whelp, off to the pub, and by pub, I mean Lucy"

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

She’s all right. She just has tired blood. #Monsterdon

Isn't Carfax like a website to buy used cars

#monsterdon

@RufusJCooter those bangs freaking rock #monsterdon

Oh, can we check blood at the hospital in the 1880-thingies??

#Monsterdon

You suck Van Helsing! Boo! You're the Dr. Phil of Transylvania! 🍅🍅 #Monsterdon

Who knows less about Dracula at the start of _Dracula_? (All apologies to @jonny)

#Monsterdon

That is a heckin fancy door. #monsterdon

That was a VERY Christopher Lee shot coming down those stairs. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

We need more Jack Palance! C'mon man, Palance it up! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Dracula remembers his long lost love running through a park in a flowing dress and bouncing tits. I like him already. 👍
#Dracula1974

Carfax Estate, where you get the best car deals!

#Monsterdon #Dracula

@foolishowl lost opportunity

#monsterdon

@OldRustBucket Damned doctors not trusting their patients with the truth.

#Monsterdon

The solo bassoon of dread mystery! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon trust the carfax

@Louisa i wish van helsing had a dutch accent tho :(

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon I can tell you this much. Getting TV movie foundation off these collars is a right terrible bitch! How can I win this episode of Rupauls Drag Race this way!

your FYONsay's affliction 🧐 #monsterdon

Van Helsing being a ray of hope amidst the dark as always. #Monsterdon

I'm in love with that lamp. More ceramic lamps should have little skirts. #Monsterdon

The off-screen dialogue is doing a lot of heavy lifting here #monsterdon

"Can't you at least tell me something?"

"Yeah, don't take any wooden nickels, kid."

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon dude just invites himself over

Wow those walls are RED. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon

He swoons after being lightly pushed but can scale a castle wall like it's nothing.

And by fine I really mean you're wasting away. #monsterdon

@ricci You'd think not, but I'm four minutes in and it looks like Dracula and Jonathan are already besties so idk

#Monsterdon

Remember to always give the biggest F YOU in the face of insurmountable odds

-this sea captain

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

@Crazypedia I think that's part of the traditional vampire lore about needing to spend the night in their home (burial) earth?

#Monsterdon

"You'll be fine my dear. Your uterus has just become unmoored in time. It's wandering not just around your body, but around timelines."

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Dr. Van Hellsing.

Not a real doctor.

Doesn't own a van.

Doesn't sing a single hell.

#monsterdon

Worst. Doctor. Ever. #Monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 @jonny something something Brexit something else

#monsterdon

@blue ya, track 29! Can I give you a shine? #monsterdon

I'm glad we women have moved beyond wearing baskets on our heads. #Monsterdon

"...you'll be fine. Just drink more of this amazing elixir!"

#Monsterdon #Dracula

#Monsterdon a dead seaman! He was left draped over the wheel, dripping goo. It’s all so premature, don’t you think?

So far this is indeed pretty true to the book, just, you know, without any passion or horror. You win some, you lose some.

#Monsterdon

who is this "Minna"?

#monsterdon

Huehuehuehuehuehue seaman #monsterdon #dracula1974

you cant be telling me english people are unironically naming a place Hillingham #monsterdon

Heh, she said seaman.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

That's certainly a way to pronounce "Demeter"

#monsterdon #mastoween

Wait what are we doing in the New York subway all of a sudden?

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Women and dead Seamen don't mix. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Loving the victorian costumes #monsterdon #dracula1974

Do women of the class that wore that sort of dress really meet each other at the train station on the platform amongst the plebs?

#Monsterdon

Mina has a very nice muff. #Monsterdon

He's horny for real estate. #monsterdon

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Train!!!

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

All those heavy clothes, and the sheer amount of steam just pumped into the air right there right then, I can't help but imagine they be sweating to death at this point.

#Monsterdon

Aw, almost got him early in the movie this time

#Monsterdon

Aw yeah time for huge voluminous dresses

#monsterdon

nice transition shot through the building too

someone knew what they were doing

#monsterdon

Man I drank too much at that castle and ended up getting Harkered

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Not to be confused with Whitby, Ontario #monsterdon

...But enough of that grey shit, here's some BRIGHT GODDAMN SUNLIGHT #Monsterdon

I never did understand the dirt thing? Is that supposed to be representing moving the plague with him?

#Monsterdon

Pardon me boy, is this the Transylvania station? #monsterdon

WTF is that scene with the guy holding a cross in a wrecked car? Maybe dead? #Monsterdon
#dracula

Mr. Harker is too stupid to be alive #monsterdon #dracula1974

Sure don't seem to take a lot to knock this Harker fellow out cold

seems like that'd be a problem when battling the undead

#monsterdon