Good imitation of me when anybody messes with my stuff.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

Should never have destroyed those boxes, yeah... try destroying the dirt next time

#Monsterdon

@paco yes, apparently 🤷

#monsterdon

DARK
NESS

https://youtu.be/pqv_LUStxDw?feature=shared

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Look, Van Helsing, don't be a dick about it. It was *your* plan dude

#Monsterdon

Love it when #Monsterdon kicks off.

Oh no! His dirt got all dirty!
The potting soil is ruined!
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon 🎵 gotta wash that vamp right out of her blood 🎵

#monsterdon Mina's been through a really awful night and the priority was to do her hair?

@Crazypedia IMO there's bacteria in his native soil and that's what sustains Dracula and why he has to cart it around where he goes, so he can rest and restore himself during the day. #Monsterdon #DanCurtisBramStokerDracula

@srol "Is there a plan B at all?" #monsterdon

@liferstate I think they're just not very good at Clue #monsterdon

A distinct lack of Harker in this version.

#Monsterdon

That was hawt

#Monsterdon

when will Dracula adapters understand that what fans really want is a reverse harem anime with a Prince Charming type, emo doctor, and cowboy

#Monsterdon

Objection! Leading the witness. #monsterdon

ASMR Van Helsing Interrogation #monsterdon

LOLWUT. They just let him rip his shirt and go?
#Monsterdon

Do we have Mrs Minnow with us tonight?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

This household has a lot of carrots

#Monsterdon He could also be reacting badly to all the messed up coffins and dirt, another cute bit of vampire lore is that they’re OCD about counting small things like grains or dirt granules. A whole room of messed up dirt could be a huge pointless chore. I’d hiss and growl too if I had to sort that dirt.

@apLundell Pissing on it sure does.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

"Your returning health is my reward, my dear," is what we should be getting in the mail instead of medical bills. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Who did it better? Darth Vader or Count Palan ... uh, Dracula?

20 minutes left.
#Monsterdon
#dracula

Vampire panic attacks are the worst. #Monsterdon

OH MY GOD I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR *ACTUAL* FARTS LMAO I'M DEAD #monsterdon #dracula1974

So the coffins are to prevent Drac from having horrible horrible gas.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

So much angst! #monsterdon

That started with an incredible fart sound

#monsterdon

Interesting sound mix choice there.

#monsterdon

And Dracula creaks like an un-oiled door at the pale moonlight #Monsterdon

[holds up sign]

6/10

#monsterdon

My gods you could hear that Dracula fart from SPACE

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Was that Dracula or a TaunTaun? #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

My dirt!!! More pissed off Palance time. #monsterdon

These are some low-energy vampire fight scenes.

#Monsterdon

Why is Drac farting?!

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Did they just...walk into Carfax Abbey without so much as a by-your-leave??

#Monsterdon

Uhoh now Jack is pissed off! Look what they did to his Experimental Dirt! #Monsterdon

EPIC DRACULA FART

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

What's the combined total screen time of shots of Dracula going down staircases #monsterdon

Enough with the Dracula walking down stairs. Isn't that like five or six different times in five or six different places now? 🙄

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

So, you play yuh wits aginst mahn, I do declare —southern gentleman Palance Dracula

#Monsterdon

Yes, drink Mommy's blood!

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon all those holes shot into Jack!Drac will make drinking fine whiskey a disappointment. Oops. There it goes. Wah.

Jack's face "UGH WHO FARTED"

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Just going to play with this Dracula dirt it's fine it's I'm sure it's fine

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon Is he living in a hookah parlor?

I remember that "You're welcome I'm sure" from a more recent Dracula movie.

#Monsterdon
#Dracula1974

He really, really loved that soil

#monsterdon

not sure why Arthur doesn't just use The Force #Monsterdon

We're just yelling "gas pains" now every time he does that. Lol.

#monsterdon

Dracula I’m going to pick the lock…nope, just break the door.

#Monsterdon

I do not understand what is going on, but I think they need privacy.
#Monsterdon
#dracula

#Monsterdon Aw man, they killed vampire Lucy - that's misogyny, violence against women!

(Pretty sure Arthur consented)
#Dracula1974

Vampires are immortal but on the downside you're basically doing keto for eternity #monsterdon

Suckle on Drac's carbonated teats, honey.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Dracula likes having his nipples played with. #Monsterdon

and I include the dogs

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

literally anyone else in this movie would've been a better choice for dracula

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Meanwhile Arthur's just standing there, expecting van Helsing to do all the work #monsterdon

ᵉ​ʷ​ʷ​
#monsterdon

WAS NOT PREPARED FOR A BREASTFEEDING SCENE #monsterdon #dracula1974

Men would rather buy international real estate and torment locals as the undead than go to therapy #monsterdon

Jack Palance’s Dracula face looks like he just drank white wine after eating an artichoke. #Monsterdon

Palance is too pink faced for a vampire too. vampires should look bloodless

#monsterdon

PALANCE NIP ALERT #monsterdon

Oh ick, all over her nose #Monsterdon

that IS the proper horrified look to have one your face when you're about to be forced to like Jack Palance's chest. #monsterdon

the supposedly blood is way less yikes than the supposed chest hair

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon Jack!Drac is pulling a Shatner.

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

Those are some damned fine bookcases why can't we have those anymore?

If you're trying to fit out a Dracula-proof estate, you may not want to paint all the walls blood red like that. I mean it's just an invitation to blood suckers, surely.

#Monsterdon

"You play your wits against mine" Sir sir there are no wits in this movie

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Nice little shell game you got going on there Dracula 🧛‍♂️

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

@Taweret@octodon.social Look, it hides the blood stains!
#monsterdon #mastoween

"Pick up the gun." -Bill Hicks

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

"...can't you see I'm trying to eat."

#Monsterdon #Dracula

So this dracula can just barge into homes. Got it.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Palance, irked again. This time some mortal tried to kill him by shooting him with a gun.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

I miss rats too 🐀 💞

I want to see Dracula bust through that door like the koolaid man #dracula #ohyeah #monsterdon

BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

@allanb Twins of Evil. #monsterdon

Damn, Dracula is wrecking this hotel.

#Monsterdon
#Dracula1974

#Monsterdon that wood gave up way too easy. Riddled with termites I bet. All soft and squishy.

#Monsterdon i love how he doesn't use any magic vampire powers to open the locked door; he just bashes it open

@RobynGoodfellow well you've got the appetizer guns, then the main course guns, and of course the dessert guns #monsterdon

Fun fact Demeter is the Goddess of the Earth #monsterdon #dracula1974

Saying dracula, count dracula, with the same cadence as bond, James bond.

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

@jonny Especially for a guy used to living in a castle

#Monsterdon

Paul can't unsee the "gas pains" expression now. Well played!

#monsterdon

just tell him he's not invited, given his movie's lore, that should work. #monsterdon

I love how his face is just like 😬 every time lmao #monsterdon #dracula1974

Gun shots -- Boob shots

#monsterdon

"Room 2-C"? 🤔
I feel like that system of hotel room numbering was not in effect in the 1800s.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Dracula needed Harper's company to just buy a new house in Britain but can easily navigate a complicated sequence of shipping companies. So weird.

@Taweret I mean, I kinda like the red. It gives it a bit of a vibe.

#Monsterdon

Wait was he INVITED into Hillingham?

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974