Stake in the heart, but you're too late, you give love, a bad name.

#Monsterdon

okay that was okay vampire staking

not too bad. good scream

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon They are also strumpets. We have to cover them with dead seamen. Like they did on the Demeter.

"What are they?" "They're women, and we have to destroy them."

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

His coffins are busted up!! Now he's irked, pained, AND exercised.

#Monsterdon

You wouldn’t have to worry about the last box or Drac leaving England IF YOU HAD DONE SOMETHING WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE #monsterdon

@allanb @Lazarou The adaptation won't let anything get out of control, and Renfield is a weird little freak who's only always out of control. If you're doing Dracula-by-numbers, you don't want any potential scene stealers. Not when the leads are this dull. #Monsterdon

Way to blow out the mics thete Dracula

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon The crypt has cocaine spiders in it. They absolutely blast sheets of webbing. While snorting blow and hosting the world’s most awesome spider rave.

@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza Too soon?

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

@msh Maybe it's scratch and sniff garlic #monsterdon

Now that is some fine undercrofting. Did you see those fornications?

Damn.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

"who will change our vile body that it might be likened to His glorious body" is such a normal thing to say /s

#monsterdon

Wait isn't that Oakley Court again? Did they ride across Europe to be at the same place?!

#monsterdon

Luke skywalker rocking them red boots #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe That is the way

#monsterdon

@Taweret More harpsichord #monsterdon

I can't tell, did they go back, or is there *another* place where all the walls are red?

#monsterdon

I actually kind of like the casting of Palance as Dracula here.
#Monsterdon

"Academic Gothic. Very nice."

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

I always appreciate when actors have a good seat on horseback.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon "this is madam kristoff. she is receiving a *huge* tip for her maid gig booking on account of the vampire danger. do not piss her off, we need this."

That vampire prophylactic bow Arthur Skywalker is wearing is pretty stylin' I kinda want one #Monsterdon

I guess a vampire doesn't have to worry about soiling the bed. #monsterdon

Oh man! "Dr Van Hellsing"😢 damn could switch to the anime of the namesake, including the "Ultimate", right now!

#monsterdon #Dracula_1974

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

Wow Arthur and Van Helsing just aren't super worried about Count Dracula I guess.

@RobynGoodfellow It's actually Minnow but she's under a curse that gives anyone who speaks her name a southern accent for one tenth of a second. #Monsterdon

It's really funny that we're an hour and 15 minutes into the film and the principals are just realizing it's a movie about Dracula. #monsterdon

HE SAID MEENAH!

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Miss Minnuh? Minnuh...
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Children mostly enter the oral stage after suckling blood from Dracula's breast.

#Monsterdon

Face sweaty
MOM'S SPAGHETTI

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

turns out he actually gave her rabies

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Is her name really pronounced "Meena" and she's just too British to correct them? #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

These vampire hunters are absolutely useless #monsterdon #dracula1974

@Crazypedia Next Bond movie, he comes back as a vampire, and I am SO IN

#Monsterdon

BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat

[train whistles]

BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

The sweat to death machine is back!

#Monsterdon

WHY ARE THEY JUST STANDING THERE #monsterdon

Commercial break, I’m imagining an ad for Brut by Fabrege and a promo for Watergate news at 11. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

They have that cute cocker spaniel figurine!

#Monsterdon Van Helsing left her in the trance and then walked away. Perhaps to let her steep, or brew. Came back, and honest to god, my first thought was him asking her for a fresh coffee. LOL.

i would assume that someone who is like soul bonded to a vampire could share thoughts and stuff so i wouldn't be talking about all my plans in front of them #monsterdon

Someone posted a cat meme alongside Palance’s face and now I can’t unsee it #monsterdon #dracula1974

They really like showing off this lamp huh #monsterdon

Good imitation of me when anybody messes with my stuff.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

Should never have destroyed those boxes, yeah... try destroying the dirt next time

#Monsterdon

@paco yes, apparently 🤷

#monsterdon

DARK
NESS

https://youtu.be/pqv_LUStxDw?feature=shared

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Look, Van Helsing, don't be a dick about it. It was *your* plan dude

#Monsterdon

Love it when #Monsterdon kicks off.

#Monsterdon 🎵 gotta wash that vamp right out of her blood 🎵

#monsterdon Mina's been through a really awful night and the priority was to do her hair?

@Crazypedia IMO there's bacteria in his native soil and that's what sustains Dracula and why he has to cart it around where he goes, so he can rest and restore himself during the day. #Monsterdon #DanCurtisBramStokerDracula

@liferstate I think they're just not very good at Clue #monsterdon

A distinct lack of Harker in this version.

#Monsterdon

That was hawt

#Monsterdon

Objection! Leading the witness. #monsterdon

ASMR Van Helsing Interrogation #monsterdon

LOLWUT. They just let him rip his shirt and go?
#Monsterdon

Do we have Mrs Minnow with us tonight?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

This household has a lot of carrots

#Monsterdon He could also be reacting badly to all the messed up coffins and dirt, another cute bit of vampire lore is that they’re OCD about counting small things like grains or dirt granules. A whole room of messed up dirt could be a huge pointless chore. I’d hiss and growl too if I had to sort that dirt.

@apLundell Pissing on it sure does.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

#Monsterdon "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Who did it better? Darth Vader or Count Palan ... uh, Dracula?

20 minutes left.
#Monsterdon
#dracula

Vampire panic attacks are the worst. #Monsterdon

So much angst! #monsterdon

So the coffins are to prevent Drac from having horrible horrible gas.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

That started with an incredible fart sound

#monsterdon

Interesting sound mix choice there.

#monsterdon

And Dracula creaks like an un-oiled door at the pale moonlight #Monsterdon

[holds up sign]

6/10

#monsterdon

My gods you could hear that Dracula fart from SPACE

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Was that Dracula or a TaunTaun? #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

My dirt!!! More pissed off Palance time. #monsterdon

Why is Drac farting?!

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Did they just...walk into Carfax Abbey without so much as a by-your-leave??

#Monsterdon

Uhoh now Jack is pissed off! Look what they did to his Experimental Dirt! #Monsterdon

EPIC DRACULA FART

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

What's the combined total screen time of shots of Dracula going down staircases #monsterdon

Enough with the Dracula walking down stairs. Isn't that like five or six different times in five or six different places now? 🙄

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

So, you play yuh wits aginst mahn, I do declare —southern gentleman Palance Dracula

#Monsterdon

Yes, drink Mommy's blood!

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Jack's face "UGH WHO FARTED"

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

#Monsterdon all those holes shot into Jack!Drac will make drinking fine whiskey a disappointment. Oops. There it goes. Wah.

Just going to play with this Dracula dirt it's fine it's I'm sure it's fine

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon Is he living in a hookah parlor?

I remember that "You're welcome I'm sure" from a more recent Dracula movie.

#Monsterdon
#Dracula1974

not sure why Arthur doesn't just use The Force #Monsterdon

We're just yelling "gas pains" now every time he does that. Lol.

#monsterdon

Dracula I’m going to pick the lock…nope, just break the door.

#Monsterdon

I do not understand what is going on, but I think they need privacy.
#Monsterdon
#dracula

#Monsterdon Aw man, they killed vampire Lucy - that's misogyny, violence against women!

(Pretty sure Arthur consented)
#Dracula1974

Vampires are immortal but on the downside you're basically doing keto for eternity #monsterdon

Suckle on Drac's carbonated teats, honey.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Dracula likes having his nipples played with. #Monsterdon

and I include the dogs

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

literally anyone else in this movie would've been a better choice for dracula

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Meanwhile Arthur's just standing there, expecting van Helsing to do all the work #monsterdon