shiny crosses is just like, what happens if your cross is dull? #monsterdon

Drac acting like the cross owes him money or something. #monsterdon

this is exactly how my cat looks when she's trying to get up in my lap but doesn't want to look like she wants to do it #Monsterdon

@_L1vY_ It should be pronounced like Mena Suvari, and would be better if the role were cast for a south asian actor #monsterdon

@paco They sanctified the dirt with holy water -- it burned the midichloridians, er, vampire energy stored in the dirt-battery. #Monsterdon #DanCurtisBramStokerDracula

Dracula uses table. It's super effective. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

You're frightened?

You SHOULD BE, cnsidering you forgot to condition your hair AGAIN 🤦🏻‍♀️ #Monsterdon 🧛🏻 #Dracula1974

"You are now in MY domain gentlemen."

Yes, we expected that when we broke into your house. #Monsterdon

now is the time where you play bumperdrac until his battery runs down or the sun comes up

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

More gas!

#monsterdon

Oh hey hi Harker! How have you b---
By Harker. So that's what the hole is for.
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

You know, I know I'm weird, but I'm getting real Winnie the Pooh vibes from this music.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

These men suck but at least they get coats with capes and really good shoes

Oh yeah the portrait of Vigo The Carpathian.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

You think they'll shake taxidermy at this Van Helsing? #Monsterdon

"Knock knock! Anybody in there?"

"Come back with a fucking warrant!"

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

"Doctor look at this."
Look at what? A hole? A whole that's too secret for the audience?
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

oh wait that wasn't dracula that was jonathan? i guess that explains why the movie is still going on #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon the meth spiders and the cocaine spiders will meet someday.

yeah, now is definitely the time for art critique

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

"you are now in MY domain"

fediblock!

#monsterdon

WELL THERE'S MY FUCKING ANSWER

#Monsterdon

Is that a WOODEN stake he fell on? Otherwise Jonathan's gonna be back up and around in no time.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Harker became a vampire?!?!? #monsterdon

Oops. Stumbled upon Dracs sex dungeon. #Monsterdon

a better actor as Dracula and a better soundtrack and this would not be bad at all

#monsterdon

lucky upturned sharp stake, that one

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

dracula got the drop on them but then got carried away trying to drink the whole guy instead of just incapacitate and move on to the other one. gotta split business and pleasure my guy #monsterdon

WHO the fuck was that?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon well that sorts out "what happened to Harker?"

a little Third Man there, doesn't work as well in this context

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Oh shit that was Harker. Kinda forgot about him.
#monsterdon

Oh my god Arthur did something other than saying "Doctor, look at this!"

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

[stage-specific] FATALITY

#monsterdon #mastoween

Guess Johnathan got the point. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

@LingLass Very complacent in the face of that blood ritual

#Monsterdon

Ey it's our boy Jono!

#monsterdon

"My god. What are they?

"They're vampires. We have to destroy them."

Arthur, have you NOT been paying attention?

#Monsterdon

What the ...
#monsterdon

Was almost expecting the doctor to say "Well go on, get in already!" after opening the iron maiden #monsterdon

The vampires look like they're sleeping on maybe a half inch of earth in those coffins at most #monsterdon

HEY IT'S JOHNNY! #Monsterdon

THERE'S Jonathan!

#Monsterdon

"my God! What are they!?!"

"They're vampires."

Have you not been paying attention?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Iron Maiden?? Excellent! (air guitar riff)

lol, where was that big old pit all of a sudden?!

#monsterdon

Did Jonathan die or something? He stopped being in the movie, the only person who mentioned him was Mina, and no one cared

#Monsterdon

...Guys stop playing with the iron maiden. #Monsterdon

All in a day's work

#monsterdon

Stake in the heart, but you're too late, you give love, a bad name.

#Monsterdon

"Now you understand you're not to leave her unattended for even a moment"

Yeah, you guys were so good at that with all the other ladies so far.

#Monsterdon

okay that was okay vampire staking

not too bad. good scream

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon They are also strumpets. We have to cover them with dead seamen. Like they did on the Demeter.

once again, the other wives just sleeping through the other ones being noisily murdered. #monsterdon

"What are they?" "They're women, and we have to destroy them."

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

His coffins are busted up!! Now he's irked, pained, AND exercised.

#Monsterdon

You wouldn’t have to worry about the last box or Drac leaving England IF YOU HAD DONE SOMETHING WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE #monsterdon

@allanb @Lazarou The adaptation won't let anything get out of control, and Renfield is a weird little freak who's only always out of control. If you're doing Dracula-by-numbers, you don't want any potential scene stealers. Not when the leads are this dull. #Monsterdon

Way to blow out the mics thete Dracula

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

too bad these girls didn't have any real stake in the story

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon The crypt has cocaine spiders in it. They absolutely blast sheets of webbing. While snorting blow and hosting the world’s most awesome spider rave.

@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza Too soon?

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

@msh Maybe it's scratch and sniff garlic #monsterdon

Now that is some fine undercrofting. Did you see those fornications?

Damn.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

"who will change our vile body that it might be likened to His glorious body" is such a normal thing to say /s

#monsterdon

Wait isn't that Oakley Court again? Did they ride across Europe to be at the same place?!

#monsterdon

Luke skywalker rocking them red boots #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe That is the way

#monsterdon

They couldn't find a box of flies for Renfield, so they just wrote him out.

Boxes of flies are, in fact, hard to come by.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

@Taweret More harpsichord #monsterdon

I can't tell, did they go back, or is there *another* place where all the walls are red?

#monsterdon

I actually kind of like the casting of Palance as Dracula here.
#Monsterdon

"Academic Gothic. Very nice."

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

I always appreciate when actors have a good seat on horseback.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou @catzilla “The Feckless Vampire Killers” #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "this is madam kristoff. she is receiving a *huge* tip for her maid gig booking on account of the vampire danger. do not piss her off, we need this."

That vampire prophylactic bow Arthur Skywalker is wearing is pretty stylin' I kinda want one #Monsterdon

Wtf? Why are they standing still? #Monsterdon

I guess a vampire doesn't have to worry about soiling the bed. #monsterdon

Oh man! "Dr Van Hellsing"😢 damn could switch to the anime of the namesake, including the "Ultimate", right now!

#monsterdon #Dracula_1974

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

Wow Arthur and Van Helsing just aren't super worried about Count Dracula I guess.

@RobynGoodfellow It's actually Minnow but she's under a curse that gives anyone who speaks her name a southern accent for one tenth of a second. #Monsterdon

It's really funny that we're an hour and 15 minutes into the film and the principals are just realizing it's a movie about Dracula. #monsterdon

HE SAID MEENAH!

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Miss Minnuh? Minnuh...
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Children mostly enter the oral stage after suckling blood from Dracula's breast.

#Monsterdon

Face sweaty
MOM'S SPAGHETTI

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

turns out he actually gave her rabies

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Is her name really pronounced "Meena" and she's just too British to correct them? #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

These vampire hunters are absolutely useless #monsterdon #dracula1974

@Crazypedia Next Bond movie, he comes back as a vampire, and I am SO IN

#Monsterdon

BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat

[train whistles]

BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat BAT bat bat bat

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

The sweat to death machine is back!

#Monsterdon

WHY ARE THEY JUST STANDING THERE #monsterdon

Commercial break, I’m imagining an ad for Brut by Fabrege and a promo for Watergate news at 11. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⚰️ 🧛‍♀️ 🦇 😱

They have that cute cocker spaniel figurine!

#Monsterdon Van Helsing left her in the trance and then walked away. Perhaps to let her steep, or brew. Came back, and honest to god, my first thought was him asking her for a fresh coffee. LOL.

i would assume that someone who is like soul bonded to a vampire could share thoughts and stuff so i wouldn't be talking about all my plans in front of them #monsterdon

Someone posted a cat meme alongside Palance’s face and now I can’t unsee it #monsterdon #dracula1974

They really like showing off this lamp huh #monsterdon