Put a stake in him, he's done!

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein turning on the blinkenlights one last time, at the end

for old time's sake

#Monsterdon

...change you into superior beings?!?!

#monsterdon

John Houseman was most glad to have taken a pass on this role

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

lol, "the INGRATITUDE!"

#Monsterdon

Careful guys, you're scraping the makeup off Frankenstein's neck there. #Monsterdon

@ottaross Presumably the Mummy is currently in storage in the British Museum

#Monsterdon

"EGAD! I'm out of FILAMENT to burn!"

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

"Frankenstein's Monster, enemy of Wolfman, liberator of Dracula, prisoner of Frankenstein"! #monsterdon

I like that both Frankenstein and Wolfman are wearing sport coats. Monsters used to know how to dress

#Monsterdon

So, this is rock paper scissors, right?

Frankenstein beats Wolfman, who beats Dracula, who beats Frankenstein? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Frankenstein's (the monster) make up doesn't even cover his neck. Only the front of his face is green.

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

glad they didn't skimp on the wolfman's wig it's very pompodour

Het! Hup! Ha! Hoo! Wooop! #Monsterdon

Werewolves? Okay, someone is going to have to answer to Vampire Local 103. We don't work if you're bringing werewolves onto the set.

#monsterdon

Morpho and that haggard sullen blonde lady just look like anyone I would've seen staggering around downtown on a Saturday night in the '70s.

#Monsterdon

And we have a wolfman sighting for some reason :werewolf:

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

This movie has everything and yet amounts to nothing

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Can you hear them? The Ultrasonic doggie doors of the night, what awkward music do they maaaaake!

The look of confusion on dr watshisface's face was the only genuine reaction anyone has had to anything in this entire movie

#Monsterdon

wolfman wants to hump

let woflman hump eye-gor

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Wait and now there's a werewolf? SURE WHY THE HELL NOT WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA ADD, GODZILLA?

Actually, this movie would be IMMENSELY improved by the addition of Godzilla.

#Monsterdon

Day-for-night peacocks again

#monsterdon

Well, now they're just stretching that other little bat and shaking it, poor thing 😥

#Monsterdon

So many vampires, and none of them are Blacula #monsterdon

"He will come tonight."

Yeah, the director's lewd like that. #Monsterdon

WHICH IS WORSE FIVE MINUTES

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Director's note: Actor will have to jiggle the bat themselves in this scene. #monsterdon

Wait, who's Jonathan?

#Monsterdon

Did Spinal Tap have a hand in the music?

#monsterdon

Can't see a damn thing
#monsterdon

It's very funny to me that these vampires leak out the eyes after they feed like a Keurig that's been overfilled. #monsterdon

NO NOT IGOR! He's going to be an even bigger creep as a vampire. #monsterdon

I've lost track: are there any non-vampire characters? There's frankenstein creator dude, who seems to have left the film. There's Igor because no vampire would touch his dirty ass neck. But anyone else?

So I typed this whole post and just as I was about to hit send, this happened. #monsterdon
#monsterdon

Dracula: Honk Moan Car Horn Edition

#monsterdon

"The devil has challenged us…
Dawn will break
And we shall win the battle…
After a little breakfast.
Maybe 9:30 gone ten? Full English, then we ride…"

#monsterdon

@wohali

A universal script doctor fix

#Monsterdon

Look! In the distance! Two suns!

⭐ ⚔️

#monsterdon

i think the romani and dracula are frequently enemies because drac is jealous. the romani just travel around singing songs and living life, meanwhile dracula can't even leave his house without having to pack 6 coffins full of his native soil to take with him. #monsterdon

This monologue should have been at the very START of the film

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Or an unregistered wolfman.

#Monsterdon

We could've used folk-healer lady at the start of the movie to explain some of the plot to us.

#monsterdon

@Terencio PLEASE KAIJU GODS PLEASE

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

@CactuarJoe it's dentists all the way back to the Beginning... #Monsterdon

#monsterdon All of the dialog with one woman in two minutes..

Whoa, Sis! Easy in the dialog! #Monsterdon

You are feeling veeeeeeeery sleepy...

Or is that just me? #Monsterdon

kinky wax play....

#Monsterdon

@ramsey Ice skates, Penguins, Armchairs, Hammers!

#monsterdon

Okay, some more stuff happened, probably, but it didn't make much sense. Anyway, the painter girl (now a vampire) wakes up from her nap in a cottage with the vampire hunter guy, who is taking a nap, and she removes his scarf as though she is about to bite him, then decides to loom around ominously and draw out the actual biting.

#monsterdon

Man, they had the budget for THREE sets of vampire teeth? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Dracula is really just a video essay on maintaining proper quarantine procedures…

@paco The data proves it!

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

@culturednyc The Draculstein Test: no two characters shall talk to each other about anything #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Surely this scarf will save him!

@arisummerland Just literally any random thing

#monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 yeah you can read them all at chick.com #monsterdon

Director’s trademarks: there is no making sense, only zoom

https://mastodon.social/@bk1e/113263695677734302

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

@jivens so has the director... #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Looks like someone got her the morphine, the ice cream, and the clicker. There, now finally take a nap! Like the rest of us!

why does dracula need sound proofing in his coffin?

#monsterdon

I think I am going to write this film off as a waste of everyone's time, that's my rating at the 66% done mark

#monsterdon

Oh I get it now. This is just a film based upon Dr Frankenstein's fanfic about having a bunch of really cool monsters in his harem.
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Dracula dracula'ed so hard that dracula came out of his eye holes

#Monsterdon

separate beds aye?

#Monsterdon

I don't know if these actors know they are making a movie either. #Monsterdon

This movie has burned so much baseline goodwill that I'm outraged it expects me to care about this couple enough to pay attention to them even for 2 minutes

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow No I'm pretty sure it was that one mexican wrestling film.

#monsterdon

@combatwombat I honestly enjoyed it more than Citizen Kane. #monsterdon

loving the way he's writing in his journal like he's really giving it his best

#Monsterdon

you couldn't even space the tooth marks right?

#Monsterdon

Count Floyd fell asleep in the back of the car with his eyes open. Again.
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

dracula's energy is less lord of darkness and more mildly confused tax accountant at a Halloween party

#Monsterdon

This dracula has all the style and panache of a wet paper bag

#Monsterdon

Dracula just realized what movie he is in
#monsterdon

Dracula looks like Bob Newhart is auditioning for Gomez Addams

#monsterdon

If I ever get cornered by a dracula, I’m going to say “Fangs for nothing!” then run off while they are laughing.

#Monsterdon

@strangefour I did a project in Communications when I was 17 that was more 'movie' than this... #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I will say that so many people are orgasming. So at least nobody has any built up stress on set.

It occurs to me that there is a very practical problem of naming the actors with the characters they play. Not one character name has been said the entire film. How will the characters appear in the credits? "Woman orgasming in red dress"?
#monsterdon

@Taweret This is all women who professionally fake orgazms so...

#monsterdon

*squinting at the subtitles* these characters have NAMES?

#monsterdon

omg shut the fuck up

#Monsterdon

Currently amusing myself by trying to figure out if Igor is wearing a fur hat or if his hair is just that bad

#Monsterdon

@steggy dracula, MLM of frankenstein! #monsterdon

as we all know peacocks are the deadliest of guardian birds....

#Monsterdon

@socketwench you are joking i know but Gary and his Demons (S1) is really, really good.

#monsterdon

I wish I knew why this film keeps zooming in on eyeballs like that. Maybe it was funded by a mascara company? #Monsterdon

lol,, he's writing this in crayon

#Monsterdon

I think Dracula has long Covid #monsterdon

Oh - hey, The narrator is indeed back. It seems to be Frankenstein himself.

#monsterdon

ooo, 'bat-lesbians'

I've know a few of those

#Monsterdon

"Oh yeah, baby, hey my UHaul is just outside..." #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Looks like the transsexual transylvania got Riff-Raff alright…

Dracula and his "wives" are easy to find help for. No shortage of porn stars wanting to get into legit film ("legit" used loosely)

#monsterdon

@Terencio @rebeld Since this movie seems to be taking place around 1972, that means this is literally Nicolae Ceaușescu's Romania 😵‍💫

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Don't stop and I'll shoot. I'll shoot myself.. anything to get out of this movie! The residuals! Gimme a break!

that's an odd place for an electrical outlet...

#Monsterdon

slide whistle wilheim scream squish squish rimshot owl hoot

#Monsterdon

The Renfield guy looks seriously crazed (she says, trying to distract from the bat in blood scene) #Monsterdon