That's how much smoke you need for this movie to make sense. #monsterdon

MONSTERDON - Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein

Looks terrible, let's go! (or, LET'S MUTE! you do you)

Here's the Tubi link:

https://tubitv.com/movies/100040021/dracula-prisoner-of-frankenstein

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

@strangefour the #Monsterdon crew craves variety

@bk1e #monsterdon If you want a sequel, I suggest you watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LplPi2CxNHI

i'd forgotten that we'd watched another jess franco take on dracula last year lol (COUNT DRACULA (1970))

as always, thank you @Taweret for hosting, and thanks to everyone for being prisoners together for that, uh, film experience!

#monsterdon

@RamenCatholic #monsterdon or #monsterson ? 😺

@combatwombat @Crazypedia She has neck protection! Very clever. #monsterdon

Women screaming alternating with random animal cries provide the soundtrack for something called DRACULA PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN. Characters come and go without names or introductions. It's almost as if they knew no one would "watch" this movie if they hadn't already seen every other dracula flick they could find before resorting to screening this disjointed series of recordings in which the cameraman appears to have fallen asleep. I detected only one actor who seemed interested in delivering her lines. Perhaps she knew how lucky she was to have any dialog at all.

I did like the peacock calls. They sound like someone crying for help.
Too bad this movie was beyond help.

Thanks?

FIN

#Monsterdon

"What is this? What are you doing to me?"

"We are taking a small amount of your virginal blood to reanimate Dracula!"

"Ha-ha...! The joke is on you! I am no longer a virgin."

"Ha-ha...! No, the joke is on you! It's actually a Sybian with fifteen speeds...!"

< Screaming and groaning >

#Monsterdon

@springdiesel The REAL monsters were on the other side of the camera!
#monsterdon

Devil Girl from Mars coulda whupped them all. Just nuked em from orbit. #monsterdon

And now for something not utterly devoid of content: two people asked about my #Monsterdon shirt today and I got to explain it to them!

My God... I feel so empty after that. #monsterdon

@ryan BTW thanks for the stream, big help tonight (er, well maybe "help" isn't quite the right word but you know)

#Monsterdon

@Zerofactorial I enjoyed the soundtrack for what it was, but it certainly would have been a thing to have a Philip Glass soundtrack instead! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDW-1JIa2gI #Monsterdon

Oof. All atmosphere and really no plot. But, such a fun set of toots. Thanks @Taweret and company! #Monsterdon

@ryan accurate

#Monsterdon

Wait, Dr. F does all the actual monster killing and the good guy just waves a cross around?

That makes as much sense as the rest of this movie.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

So the monsters are destroyed because Dr. Frankenstein was disappointed? What exactly did Dr. Seward do?

Who cares, it's over.

#Monsterdon

@_L1vY_
Are you sure?

*Begins touching face*

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

Thank you @Taweret for hosting this Low Dialogue High Dookie Drama!

and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! "Clever use of scale" was my favorite, despite "clever" not appearing in this film in any way.

And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: You really stepped up tonight to fill the gap. The gap of a coherent plot. The tootstream was extremely entertaining and you had so little to work with. 💕

@_L1vY_ best thing I saw in that movie #Monsterdon

@Terencio I disagree, because I liked one of those movies, but I am boosting this post because I think it is an interesting thesis that deserves further discussion. #monsterdon

I'm actually a bit surprised at the continuity, the monster kept the bullet holes in his jacket.

(I'm a bit behind, stopped to get some food)

#monsterdon

that was both absolutely nothing and yet somehow A Lot. #monsterdon

The moral of the story is that a director's vision can make all persons who witness their work prisoners themselves. To freedom! #monsterdon

In the immortal words of the Tick, from the animated series when he gets recruited by aliens, "Slideshow... boring... losing... consciousness." #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

@blogdiva double undeadnified

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

#Monsterdon what happened to the vampires clothes, how'd they vanish off their skeletons?

did... did frankenstein strip them after staking them?

If you're reading this, you're at the tail end of a long stream of posts on the feed about #Monsterdon, a fediverse community movie-watching event.

This week we watched DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN¹ (1972). It is the worst Monsterdon movie I have watched at time of writing. Under no circumstances should you or anyone watch this movie, particularly if you get motion-sick.

See the post at the top of this thread for more info:

https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/111004128276431553

¹ also known as DRACULA CONTRA FRANKENSTEIN

Today my abrupt ending came from the hotel internet connection cutting out about three minutes before the end of the film

Sounds like I may be better off for it

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

<CONFUSED SHRIEKING!/>

I can't believe I watched this on the same weekend that I watched Sinners. #monsterdon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7joulECTx_U

busting out the rare 1/2 star for that #monsterdon https://boxd.it/9WO8cX

This movie really just tossed all the film canisters into a blender and poured out a margaraiquirilada. Can't really tell what flavor it is, but I know it has something fruity in there. Maybe a lab-centrifuged bat? #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Thank god? For what?
YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING SEWARD!!
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

not so much a movie as a slideshow of people mildly inconvenienced in a castle

#monsterdon

This concludes my #monsterdon thread. Thanks and praise be to @Taweret for hosting!

I give #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein 1 out of 5 extremely loud bats because it was mostly boring. I would give it 2/5, but I am convinced that at least one innocent bat was harmed in its production, so it loses 1 point for probable animal abuse.

Anyway, it was weird but also boring. Parts of it almost made sense. My favorite part was the grunting and the gratuitous piling on of monsters. The worst part was having too much goddamn screaming.

#monsterdon

I like all the dialog where they zoom in so you can't see their mouth. Then they can write the dialog a few weeks later in post, and just dub in anything you like.

#monsterdon

After that the hunter waves a cross around and thanks god and the dead girl for helping him fight dracula. The end.

#monsterdon

Moral: Religion really does work!

#monsterdon

"Thanks to God."

God: Wh-huh? What? Oh, uh, yeah! You're welcome! I, uh, I was definitely, uh, paying attention there! Yeah! Good job team, hit the showers! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

At least when you zoom you should also focus I think

@ColesStreetPothole bc he got a steak thru his heart. #monsterdon

Apparently planning to abandon vampires and instead conquer the world with mummies in a sequel, the evil doctor flips some switches to self destruct his evil lab and also kill his frankenstein monster.

Then the hunter wanders into the coffin room and finds that the dead vampires have now turned into fake skeletons instead of bats and funeral music plays.

#monsterdon

Igor is the Wolfman?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

[Shaking head wordlessly] 😑

#Monsterdon

@steggy Oh man, those were the days. Why can't we be learning about an ancient Indian curse or some shit from some drunk dude in a shed

#Monsterdon

Welp, union members are leaving. Closed shop everybody, c'mon. Strike's on. #Monsterdon

'Putrid Carion' is the name of my Bon Jovi cover band. #monsterdon

Put a stake in him, he's done!

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Dr. Frankenstein turning on the blinkenlights one last time, at the end

for old time's sake

#Monsterdon

...change you into superior beings?!?!

#monsterdon

John Houseman was most glad to have taken a pass on this role

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

lol, "the INGRATITUDE!"

#Monsterdon

Careful guys, you're scraping the makeup off Frankenstein's neck there. #Monsterdon

@ottaross Presumably the Mummy is currently in storage in the British Museum

#Monsterdon

"EGAD! I'm out of FILAMENT to burn!"

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

"Frankenstein's Monster, enemy of Wolfman, liberator of Dracula, prisoner of Frankenstein"! #monsterdon

There are 6 minutes left in this movie. I feel like we've hit that robot vs aztec movie thing again.

#Monsterdon

I like that both Frankenstein and Wolfman are wearing sport coats. Monsters used to know how to dress

#Monsterdon

So, this is rock paper scissors, right?

Frankenstein beats Wolfman, who beats Dracula, who beats Frankenstein? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Frankenstein's (the monster) make up doesn't even cover his neck. Only the front of his face is green.

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

glad they didn't skimp on the wolfman's wig it's very pompodour

Het! Hup! Ha! Hoo! Wooop! #Monsterdon

Werewolves? Okay, someone is going to have to answer to Vampire Local 103. We don't work if you're bringing werewolves onto the set.

#monsterdon

Morpho and that haggard sullen blonde lady just look like anyone I would've seen staggering around downtown on a Saturday night in the '70s.

#Monsterdon

And we have a wolfman sighting for some reason :werewolf:

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

This movie has everything and yet amounts to nothing

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Can you hear them? The Ultrasonic doggie doors of the night, what awkward music do they maaaaake!

The look of confusion on dr watshisface's face was the only genuine reaction anyone has had to anything in this entire movie

#Monsterdon

@ryan wtf happened to Frankenstein anyway lol #Monsterdon

wolfman wants to hump

let woflman hump eye-gor

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Wait and now there's a werewolf? SURE WHY THE HELL NOT WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA ADD, GODZILLA?

Actually, this movie would be IMMENSELY improved by the addition of Godzilla.

#Monsterdon

Day-for-night peacocks again

#monsterdon

Well, now they're just stretching that other little bat and shaking it, poor thing 😥

#Monsterdon

So many vampires, and none of them are Blacula #monsterdon

Well don't start bombarding us with dialogue and bat attacks now, like you've suddenly remembered this is a movie...

#Monsterdon

"He will come tonight."

Yeah, the director's lewd like that. #Monsterdon

WHICH IS WORSE FIVE MINUTES

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Director's note: Actor will have to jiggle the bat themselves in this scene. #monsterdon

Wait, who's Jonathan?

#Monsterdon

Did Spinal Tap have a hand in the music?

#monsterdon

Can't see a damn thing
#monsterdon

It's very funny to me that these vampires leak out the eyes after they feed like a Keurig that's been overfilled. #monsterdon

NO NOT IGOR! He's going to be an even bigger creep as a vampire. #monsterdon

I've lost track: are there any non-vampire characters? There's frankenstein creator dude, who seems to have left the film. There's Igor because no vampire would touch his dirty ass neck. But anyone else?

So I typed this whole post and just as I was about to hit send, this happened. #monsterdon
#monsterdon

Hey guys I'm third cousins twice removed with the director and also his coke dealer and I have a mountain dulcimer with only two strings on it, can I be part of the soundtrack?

#Monsterdon

Dracula: Honk Moan Car Horn Edition

#monsterdon

"The devil has challenged us…
Dawn will break
And we shall win the battle…
After a little breakfast.
Maybe 9:30 gone ten? Full English, then we ride…"

#monsterdon

@wohali

A universal script doctor fix

#Monsterdon

Look! In the distance! Two suns!

⭐ ⚔️

#monsterdon

i think the romani and dracula are frequently enemies because drac is jealous. the romani just travel around singing songs and living life, meanwhile dracula can't even leave his house without having to pack 6 coffins full of his native soil to take with him. #monsterdon

This monologue should have been at the very START of the film

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Or an unregistered wolfman.

#Monsterdon

We could've used folk-healer lady at the start of the movie to explain some of the plot to us.

#monsterdon

@Terencio PLEASE KAIJU GODS PLEASE

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

@CactuarJoe it's dentists all the way back to the Beginning... #Monsterdon

#monsterdon All of the dialog with one woman in two minutes..