(screams in the background)
same.
#monsterdon

@blogdiva you could easily get funding for that idea right now #Monsterdon

Watch them hands, Cheech Igor. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Who sets up these shots of people starting with random shit right in their face?

Dracula: I don't feel dead. Actually I feel pretty good! #Monsterdon

Okay - not impressed with the cruelty to the bat. Fast fwd through that scene.

#monsterdon

HARDLY ANY ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM

#Monsterdon

Okay, so the Frankendracula, or maybe its a normal Frankenstein (monster) kidnaps the caberet lady and takes her to Frankenstein (doctor)'s lab, where she wakes up, strapped to a gurney of mad science.

It seems the evil doctor is planning to drain her blood to resurrect dracula? Which is rather disturbing. As he starts the murder machine, his non-bat car alarms go off.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Dripping blood all over a bat? WHat are you doing?

the bat is now singing POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

lol - those are some low-energy rescue attempts running after Frankenstein's monster.

#monsterdon

Anyway, after the Dracula Frankenstein this movie has become Moulin Rouge, as we get a fancy lady singing in French and prancing about a pole in a fancy establishment to popular acclaim. At least I think its French.

She shows her panties and the audience claps. Then she returns to her dressing room, which seems to be in a cave so we can get a gratuitous undressing scene. But then a Wild Frankendracula appears!

#monsterdon

"Oh god, Frankenstein! You're slightly less attractive than the men out in the restaurant!" #Monsterdon

i can't not think of young frankenstein

#monsterdon

wait! the viejo verde Frankestein turned the country doctor into his monster?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

#monsterdon Whoops, stairs out. “You mean at the bottom of a disused lavatory, with a broken sign that says "Beware of the Leopard!?!” WHAT. Yeah, we'll just start making shit up because the only thing we have yet is la la nah nah, blah blah.

If you saw that audience in isolation, would you imagine they are watching a French burlesque dance?
#monsterdon

My personal fav Frankenstein movie......above average TV series spinoff as well. #monsterdon

@combatwombat Someone tell Scotty!

#Monsterdon

anyway, the movie is taking a time-out to be horny (FR)

#Monsterdon

Spain, Portugal, France and Liechtenstein produced this film jointly

4 countries...

#monsterdon

Igor, as portrayed by Cheech Marin. #Monsterdon

It's kind of amazing to think how long special effects teams just had to make a bunch of flashing lights in various configurations

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

HA HA HA HA HA

WOW

That Frankenstein :D #Monsterdon

Appreciating there are no touchscreens or apps to operate this stuff

#Monsterdon

Oh, hey. This castle has been retrofitted with electricity.

#Monsterdon

Ah, yes, a DRAK-ULA class blood powered reactor

#Monsterdon

I wonder what Frankenstein is up to right now

#Monsterdon

@Rozzychan The bat is trying to flee the movie for a better one. #monsterdon

<new jersey accent>
'ey baws! Dis actor guy here says he don' wanna say dem stupid lines. Whatcha wan me do with him?"
</new jersey accent>
#monsterdon

"what...is it?"

just saving this quote for later in case it's the movie summary.

#monsterdon

Clearly neo-Torgo wants to join the European Union.

#monsterdon

@TerryHancock @apLundell Absolutely. Incidentally, there's at least one copy of it on wikipedia.

#Monsterdon

Was that a self-driving carriage?

#Monsterdon

I missed last week's Godzilla-rific #Monsterdon, which I really wanted to see. But I was doing something that I needed to pay attention to.

I'm watching tonight's Monsterdon, though, secure in the knowledge that I need pay no attention to "Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein."

(It is, however, a nifty hearse that they're driving around. I might need to try to catch a better view of that.)

I really appreciate that dialogue being simple Spanish words that I know so that I can synchronize my subtitles to this movie that has basically not had dialogue so far!

#Monsterdon

oh gee thanks narrator!

#monsterdon

For how the wind is howling, not a single one of his hairs is moving the entire walk.

#Monsterdon

Part of this soundtrack sounds like the sound that GSM phones used to induce in cheap speakers

#Monsterdon

The way they labour the sound effects like it was a radio play for children is quite something, as is the lack of dialogue

#Monsterdon

In the next scene, there is a rush to get into the shop that sells toilets, or possibly have toilets, I assume its in the morning and everyone ate their coffee already. Or maybe Italians like afternoon coffee, I'm not sure if this is Italy or not, maybe its Eastern Europe, because all of the Draculas?

Then we're in a church and there's a dead (?) lady laying on a bed and a guy comes in and we hear somebody praying for forgiveness, and then the dude stabs the lady in the eye.

#monsterdon

Weeping man, "Have mercy on all of us, have mercy on all sinners"

Okay so that's the lead writer, in his cameo

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

After another Architecture-Friendly Orchestral Interlude, or "AFOI" as they are called by me, we introduce another character, the painter babe who is painting and also being stalked by a vampire. Maybe she was also vampire bitten but maybe I'm wrong because I am trying to post and also type at the same time. Regardless, she decides to sing more later.

#monsterdon

That shot made it look like the candelabra was holding her body down.

#monsterdon

dat wig though

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

@blogdiva the dude just said "WAAAAHHHHH" to that horse, does that count? #monsterdon

(heh... count...)

@ricci

You know, these neck bolts are bad enough; there's just no way to get a date that way. But that huge stainless steel shod peen? The one with occasional blue sparks of electricity? Honestly, what woman would ever want that...?

#Monsterdon

In the next scene a lady is puttering around and then decides to undress, making the audience interested. But before she is finished a wild Dracula appears, looking exactly as you might expect and then bites her, to much shrieking.

#monsterdon

Well, they're solving the question about subtitles or dubbing by not actually having any dialog so far.

#monsterdon

The wildlife got most of the dialog. #monsterdon

very cute kitty

#Monsterdon

We've done it folks, the worst Dracula seen in #Monsterdon to date

Clocks bonging, clocks ticking, SOMEONE has been to film school and heard of "themes"

#Monsterdon

That's how much smoke you need for this movie to make sense. #monsterdon

MONSTERDON - Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein

Looks terrible, let's go! (or, LET'S MUTE! you do you)

Here's the Tubi link:

https://tubitv.com/movies/100040021/dracula-prisoner-of-frankenstein

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

@strangefour the #Monsterdon crew craves variety

i'd forgotten that we'd watched another jess franco take on dracula last year lol (COUNT DRACULA (1970))

as always, thank you @Taweret for hosting, and thanks to everyone for being prisoners together for that, uh, film experience!

#monsterdon

@RamenCatholic #monsterdon or #monsterson ? 😺

@combatwombat @Crazypedia She has neck protection! Very clever. #monsterdon

Women screaming alternating with random animal cries provide the soundtrack for something called DRACULA PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN. Characters come and go without names or introductions. It's almost as if they knew no one would "watch" this movie if they hadn't already seen every other dracula flick they could find before resorting to screening this disjointed series of recordings in which the cameraman appears to have fallen asleep. I detected only one actor who seemed interested in delivering her lines. Perhaps she knew how lucky she was to have any dialog at all.

I did like the peacock calls. They sound like someone crying for help.
Too bad this movie was beyond help.

Thanks?

FIN

#Monsterdon

"What is this? What are you doing to me?"

"We are taking a small amount of your virginal blood to reanimate Dracula!"

"Ha-ha...! The joke is on you! I am no longer a virgin."

"Ha-ha...! No, the joke is on you! It's actually a Sybian with fifteen speeds...!"

< Screaming and groaning >

#Monsterdon

@springdiesel The REAL monsters were on the other side of the camera!
#monsterdon

Devil Girl from Mars coulda whupped them all. Just nuked em from orbit. #monsterdon

And now for something not utterly devoid of content: two people asked about my #Monsterdon shirt today and I got to explain it to them!

My God... I feel so empty after that. #monsterdon

@Zerofactorial I enjoyed the soundtrack for what it was, but it certainly would have been a thing to have a Philip Glass soundtrack instead! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDW-1JIa2gI #Monsterdon

Oof. All atmosphere and really no plot. But, such a fun set of toots. Thanks @Taweret and company! #Monsterdon

@ryan accurate

#Monsterdon

Wait, Dr. F does all the actual monster killing and the good guy just waves a cross around?

That makes as much sense as the rest of this movie.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

So the monsters are destroyed because Dr. Frankenstein was disappointed? What exactly did Dr. Seward do?

Who cares, it's over.

#Monsterdon

@_L1vY_
Are you sure?

*Begins touching face*

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

Thank you @Taweret for hosting this Low Dialogue High Dookie Drama!

and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! "Clever use of scale" was my favorite, despite "clever" not appearing in this film in any way.

And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: You really stepped up tonight to fill the gap. The gap of a coherent plot. The tootstream was extremely entertaining and you had so little to work with. 💕

@_L1vY_ best thing I saw in that movie #Monsterdon

@Terencio I disagree, because I liked one of those movies, but I am boosting this post because I think it is an interesting thesis that deserves further discussion. #monsterdon

I'm actually a bit surprised at the continuity, the monster kept the bullet holes in his jacket.

(I'm a bit behind, stopped to get some food)

#monsterdon

that was both absolutely nothing and yet somehow A Lot. #monsterdon

The moral of the story is that a director's vision can make all persons who witness their work prisoners themselves. To freedom! #monsterdon

In the immortal words of the Tick, from the animated series when he gets recruited by aliens, "Slideshow... boring... losing... consciousness." #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

@blogdiva double undeadnified

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

#Monsterdon what happened to the vampires clothes, how'd they vanish off their skeletons?

did... did frankenstein strip them after staking them?

If you're reading this, you're at the tail end of a long stream of posts on the feed about #Monsterdon, a fediverse community movie-watching event.

This week we watched DRACULA, PRISONER OF FRANKENSTEIN¹ (1972). It is the worst Monsterdon movie I have watched at time of writing. Under no circumstances should you or anyone watch this movie, particularly if you get motion-sick.

See the post at the top of this thread for more info:

https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/111004128276431553

¹ also known as DRACULA CONTRA FRANKENSTEIN

Today my abrupt ending came from the hotel internet connection cutting out about three minutes before the end of the film

Sounds like I may be better off for it

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

<CONFUSED SHRIEKING!/>

I can't believe I watched this on the same weekend that I watched Sinners. #monsterdon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7joulECTx_U

busting out the rare 1/2 star for that #monsterdon https://boxd.it/9WO8cX

This movie really just tossed all the film canisters into a blender and poured out a margaraiquirilada. Can't really tell what flavor it is, but I know it has something fruity in there. Maybe a lab-centrifuged bat? #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Thank god? For what?
YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING SEWARD!!
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

This concludes my #monsterdon thread. Thanks and praise be to @Taweret for hosting!

I like all the dialog where they zoom in so you can't see their mouth. Then they can write the dialog a few weeks later in post, and just dub in anything you like.

#monsterdon

After that the hunter waves a cross around and thanks god and the dead girl for helping him fight dracula. The end.

#monsterdon

Moral: Religion really does work!

#monsterdon

"Thanks to God."

God: Wh-huh? What? Oh, uh, yeah! You're welcome! I, uh, I was definitely, uh, paying attention there! Yeah! Good job team, hit the showers! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

At least when you zoom you should also focus I think

@ColesStreetPothole bc he got a steak thru his heart. #monsterdon

Apparently planning to abandon vampires and instead conquer the world with mummies in a sequel, the evil doctor flips some switches to self destruct his evil lab and also kill his frankenstein monster.

Then the hunter wanders into the coffin room and finds that the dead vampires have now turned into fake skeletons instead of bats and funeral music plays.

#monsterdon

[Shaking head wordlessly] 😑

#Monsterdon

@steggy Oh man, those were the days. Why can't we be learning about an ancient Indian curse or some shit from some drunk dude in a shed

#Monsterdon

Welp, union members are leaving. Closed shop everybody, c'mon. Strike's on. #Monsterdon

'Putrid Carion' is the name of my Bon Jovi cover band. #monsterdon