Frankenstein wants all the secrets of your leg hair removal routine.

#monsterdon

I keep waiting for her to start singing the "I'm Tired" song from "Blazing Saddles."
#Monsterdon

he sounds like a zombie from terraria

#Monsterdon

Dude used the lamest Vulcan nerve pinch I've ever seen in my life

#Monsterdon

Ah yes. Films shot by men. Always start panning the mostly naked female character from the knees up.
#Monsterdon

In Europe, if you live in a castle, do people normally just walk right in to have a look around? #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

The monster makeup was so bad they're trying to keep people in the theater with this lounge act.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

#monsterdon
French speaker here:

Badaboom let's go
Let yourself go and we'll have fun
(Something something)
Want to see my front, I'll show you my back
I only know love
Look at my thighs, how flexible
When you see my bum, you'll need days to recover

[mutant day labor assemblage on streetcorner]

Guy in Hard Hat with Clipboard : OK, listen up, I've got one opening today.
Hey! I said listen up! Your attention please!
Hey, you there...are you listening? Haven't you got ears?
...
Oh, I'm sorry, forgive me.
Dr. Frankenstein needs someone to bring him a pub singer this time.
Who can wash their hands after eating and recognize the word "abnormal"?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

#Monsterdon

for a singer, i'da thought she'd have a much better scream. #monsterdon

lol @ Monster reveal

#Monsterdon

Drag name: Lucile Ballgag #monsterdon

Okay, I see why this guy was picked to play the Monster

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

https://youtu.be/-05BWHilRBA

#Monsterdon

NO
NO MORE CREEPY DOLLS.
#Monsterdon

We did not need that close up to her butt + underwear. I really, really don't need to know what she wears under that poufy skirt as a jump scare, thanks movie.

#Monsterdon

The subtitles leave nothing to the imagination...

#Monsterdon

We definitely got ourselves some Chef Boyardee grade Italian horror. #Monsterdon

@paco They appear to be attending a beatnik poetry reading.

#Monsterdon

The girlfriend is smiling now but there will be no joy tonight after he debased himself with that french floozy....

#Monsterdon

So far I have identified butts as a theme of this movie

#Monsterdon

was that the same scream shot twice? lmao

#Monsterdon

I left to take a leak and when I came back the musical number was still going

#monsterdon

Did I miss something? How did the monster get out of the lab? #Monsterdon

And now French cabaret musical number? Okay sure whatever movie. Atleast something is happening that isn't one guy standing while the camera zooms.
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Noises: check. Lights: check. Focus:.... Zoom: you bet your ass that's a check! #monsterdon

so...

#monsterdon

That cancan dress has seen better days #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-05BWHilRBA

#Monsterdon meanwhile, at the town burlesque parlour?

#Monsterdon
Eh badda boom!
No cancan here

Figured the rating was getting too low, I guess.

Look, I signed up for Dracula versus Frankenstein, not the world's tamest burlesque act performed for a ... youth hostel in Ruritania?

#Monsterdon

I didn't know they had thong underwear in dracula times. #Monsterdon

🎵 bada bums ava 🎶 #monsterdon

This man's expression is recognizable to anyone who's been in the audience of a production of Cats and drawn the unwanted attention of the Rum Tum Tugger. #monsterdon

@TerryHancock Snitches get not quite stitches (I AM HELPING! GAREN!) #Monsterdon

Is this when the sprinklers start spraying blood, and we find out that everyone there is a vampire?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

and now! cabaret!

we're a foreign film, it's required.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Ah yes, Europeans. Can't pick a language!

French singing, now.

Meanwhile at the local burlesque club. #Monsterdon

Is this a burlesque scene? Cabaret? Whatever it is is weird and doesn't match the rest of the movie...

(not that I have any idea what's going on in the movie)

#Monsterdon

@Taweret 😆
International committee behind soundtrack

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon okay, just to save me time in typing, I need everyone to just imagine that every ten minutes or so I'm tooting out "WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON?"

ooh that is some cheeky lyrics

#monsterdon

This song has doubled the word count of the dialogue so far #monsterdon

oh god it's going to be somebody saying words to Morpho and him grunting again isn't it

#monsterdon

She's not even *trying* to lip-synch #Monsterdon

buhm buhm
#monsterdon

I thought the Doctor was just going next door to ask the neighbor girl for a cup of fresh blood #monsterdon

#Monsterdon painted-on rivets

Just mix the howling wind clip with the obnoxiously loud bird clip. It'll be fine. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

if she's a dancer i'm arnold palmer

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

boom?
#monsterdon

@wohali dang, guess so!

#monsterdon

And more zooming! #monsterdon

Is that a…stripper pole?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Noooooo, that's not the monster. Nooooo, I don't believe you. Nuh-uh.

Terrible MUA.
Or is it excellent stitching job with minimal scarring?
#monsterdon

#monsterdon
This is budget Frankenstein makeup.
I saw better mast Halloween.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est? What the fuck?"

#Monsterdon

Frankie's stitchwork looks like it was done in mascara pen #Monsterdon

honestly? not a bad monster. solid 8/10. #monsterdon

@ranjit Seems unlikely given the year of filming, lasers were incredibly expensive and not really easy to film at that point.

#monsterdon

Oy... let him continue to sleep... #monsterdon

There now has been more French dialogue in this Italian film.
#Monsterdon

damn Frankentein let your monster sleep more look at those hideous bags under his eyes I'm begging you let him sleep in just once it will do wonders for it's complexion
#monsterdon

At least I have a monster to cheer for now

Momentarily, one who hasn't disappointed me yet

#Monsterdon

I’m tired… soooo tired… 🎶

#Monsterdon

Oh I know this guy! Abby Normal!

#Monsterdon

If Igor looks straight at the camera one more time like that, I swear!

#Monsterdon

Yeah, Frankenstein, I'm the same way Monday morning.

#monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

This Frankenstein makeup is so bad, y'all

#Monsterdon

This is a rookie mistake a lot of middle-aged men trying under-eye concealer for the first-time make. A little goes a long way. #monsterdon

me, Monday mornings #monsterdon

Love how they only painted his earlobe, and missed the rest of the ear.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Frankie's got the 70's lead poisoning I see

#Monsterdon

Um, actually that is Dracula's Monster
#monsterdon

yet another eurorack drone synth patch tutorial #monsterdon

@wohali i think they have a real scanning laser beam in there too, behind Dr F!

#monsterdon

Well, at least my 5 years of public-school French are coming in handy now

#Monsterdon

WHOOOOOOOA

THE COOL RAAAAAAANCH!!!! #Monsterdon

IT'S FRANK!

#Monsterdon

Ah! That’s all that remains to be done. #Monsterdon

I think the captions are just lovingly describing every single sound effect because the person doing them got bored.

#monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Fresh blood of a young girl you say? #monsterdon

looks like protodata had a liiiiiiiiiiittle too much poetry at the slam last night

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

@liferstate @TerryHancock @kshernandez @blogdiva Also a Latin-based language. So, checks out.

#Monsterdon

we need to get an interocitor in here. #monsterdon

Is she crying so much because they won't dialog her?

#Monsterdon

You need to adjust your box privacy settings mate #monsterdon

I SAID....

#Monsterdon

@sean or lead pants, if you dont have eyes #BeatingAdeadJoke #Monsterdon

#monsterdon ok I'm irremediably lost despite the "tell, don't show" style. Can you give me a three-word summary, friends?

#Monsterdon
Frankenstein spoor detected... many electricity, much wires, yay!
:corgi:

"Where is Padme?"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
Thus soundtrack!

#monsterdon Something is happening in Indy? Someone flushed a toilet!? Holy shit. Hold me back! Indiana flushed a toilet! But what about... their… legislature?!?!

I feel like I am watching giallo Eraserhead.
#Monsterdon

Director: This needs to look dramatic
Cinematographer: Right! Zooms in on random object.

#monsterdon

Frankenstein’s spaceship. #Monsterdon