see??? don't send a dracula to do a frankenstein's monster's job

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Had to go for snacks. No other way to survive!

And again with the horse-and-buggy.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Oops, another ad block! So, who has tuberculosis? WE ALL DO. YAY! *cough cough*

So where did we get the tradition that Frankenstein monsters are green? The original films were black and white. Is it something to do with putrefaction? #Monsterdon

WAIT

YOU'RE REUSING THIS HORSE FOOTAGE

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon how has this movie only been on for fifty minutes when I can't remember life outside of this movie?

Plot, Prisoner of Cinematography

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Frankie chop! #Monsterdon

@trixter I like the clopping on dirt road sound effects, though. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Oooh, Frank, so strong, so manly

#Monsterdon

I never thought I would see a movie less convincing at 100% ADR dialogue than the Beast of Yucca Flats but it's not even close. Characters actually spoke to one another in that one, even if you never saw their mouths. #monsterdon

Classic wrist-grab and neck-slap combo. #monsterdon

Dracula gave her neck melanoma!

#monsterdon

Poorly applied lipstick? #monsterdon

@huronbikes Reminds me of Mazda's television catchphrase "zoom zoom" #monsterdon

I’m hoping the neighbors aren’t hearing all this groaning #Monsterdon

This week's movie and last week's movie average out to about 22 plots per movie

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon His dream was to buy Alaska. After all, Seward's Icebox and all... right? This is a cartography documentary, right?

Does Dracula know how to drive?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

I'm very worried that this lady doesn't realize she is in a film and they just kidnapped her. #Monsterdon

What happened to the other horse? #monsterdon

Why are there so many sick people in the forest, moaning and throwing up?

#Monsterdon

We now continue to our subplot: "grunting to horses"... #monsterdon

@diazona LOL, I was thinking the lady's screams & moans sounded porny. #Monsterdon

Dracula really needs some sleep. Did you see how red his eyes are?
#Monsterdon

Why does that carriage have an astrodroid?

#monsterdon
#DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Okay that was a great Drac face. I'll give them that.

I lost track of what was happening because I was busy googling "why are like all European movies ADR'd"

#Monsterdon

@georgieboy 😂

#Monsterdon

and after all that, Dracula forgot to bring him the girl

#monsterdon

Middle-aged men licking necks

(gross)

#monsterdon

There is an unsettlingly high amount of pained moaning in this film.

#Monsterdon

Now the horse sounds like a typewriter. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Dracula discovers lipstick and fails #Monsterdon

#monsterdon It was a mistake to give the horse tap shoes.

Welcome to good burger home of the good burger can I take your order?

Yes, I'd like a blaah blaah blaah with cheese hold the catsup. #monsterdon

Aw, the crazy girl got Draced. #monsterdon

I do like how they have blood coming out of his eyes after he eats. That’s a nice touch.

#Monsterdon

Least convincing Igor I've seen #Monsterdon

Will drac get high on the opium?#monsterdon

You know, I'm beginning to understand why Grandpa Munster immigrated to America and never spoke of his short lived film career in Europe now.

#monsterdon

Dracie, you forgot your...teeth?

#monsterdon

I want them, no… I NEED them to insert the awooogaaa horn sound when they do the zoom in zoom out on the bat. #Monsterdon

Dr F, why do you send dracula to "bring me the girl" when your monster has already proven his competence at girl-bringing WITHOUT stealing the blood? are you trying to set up inter-employee rivalries here?

#monsterdon

Okay, good eye shot. Legit creepy.
#Monsterdon

@strangefour It's a couple of cups of blood sloshed into a movie-shaped container #monsterdon

okay the one part of this dracula makeup i kinda like is the blood in his eyes

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

On the one hand, maybe we should make sure someone has seen a movie before we watch it to make sure it is actually ya know "a movie" and worth watching.
On the other hand this is the perfect kind of movie to riff on because there's so much of the nothing going on.
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Wait, Igor is the protagonist? #Monsterdon

I hope when these guys are taking notes they’re doing it in cursive. And by cursive, I mean cursing because they have so few lines!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Almira Sobbing. Audience Groaning. Eerie music, orgasming.

And she knows she's more than just a little misunderstood
She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOM

#Monsterdon

he's batty for bloody snax!

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

So, Frankenstein will use vampires to bring humanity under control? I feel like there's steps missing in this "plan" #Monsterdon

this dracula is kinda catatonic
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
BRING ME THE GIRL.
Close the damn window!

Gotta say this Dracula isn't really scaring me, more "dopey old uncle" vibes really

#Monsterdon

I've never understood why they need young girls, an adult man has way more blood volume

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

"And now I, Terencio of the audience, sworn enemy of boredom, will turn away from this movie to do something else while it plays in the background!" #monsterdon

@josh0 You'll miss several lines of dialogue #monsterdon

Shut up guys, I'm checking out this cabaret dancer undress.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

oh we're gonna have a Doc-off

a

DOCTORAL

DISSERTATION

#monsterdon

Where's the angry mob? #Monsterdon

"and now the battle begins?"
does it???
#monsterdon

@strangefour As long as it's not flock of seagulls! #Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

WatchVibe (TM)

Confusion ⬆️
Frustration ⬆️
Wut ⬆️

#Monsterdon fetch a sedagive

"and now you are my enemy as well"

Seward: *rubs eyes in exasperation*

#monsterdon

Weekend at Draccy's #monsterdon

@TerryHancock Its to resurrect dracula. You need to moisten the bat to resurrect its inner vampire. #monsterdon

I want more Morpho #monsterdon

Morpho giving strong Willem Dafoe vibes except Willem grunts better.

#monsterdon

She was committed for thinking she was a character in a movie. We tried explaining to her if she was a character in a movie she would have things like a backstory, wants, needs, a story arc. Dialogue even. #monsterdon

This picture book

#monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

So at 47 minutes into the movie, we're finally getting some exposition.

Not too much, though. #Monsterdon

Day for night #monsterdon

also, am pretty sure Blondie didn’t have to undead herself to have a lesbian liaison. that’s what am saying about the weird lengths to have sex.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

Wait. Do bats sound like seagulls now? or is that supposed to signify some other animal? The day for night has left me in a daze.
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

apparently the lady just needed the services of your local friendly phlebotomist.

#monsterdon

Um. What is going on? Why is this woman moaning, but dubbed? Did the doctor just give her heroin? #Monsterdon

Zoom in, zoom out. Zoom inz zoom out. #Monsterdon

hm, maybe i should turn the captions back on so i have something to pay attention to 🥴
#monsterdon

Frankie's monster really should take an evil karate class or something. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Joining #Monsterdon late tonight. I’m just going to fast forward 45 minutes. Will I miss anything? That’s about where we’re at, right?

Is that the same doctor from 'The Times Of Horse Carriages?"

#Monsterdon

see? She's kicking heroin. #monsterdon

@amyfou@lingo.lol On a positive note, we're past the halfway mark!

#DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #Monsterdon

[Maria sobbing quietly]

Oh, me too girl, me too.

#monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow must be the new bride. #Monsterdon

Is it canon that only young ladies can be vampire victims in this universe? #monsterdon

Someone involved was obviously turned on by women making noises of distress, and they're maybe the most annoying sounds in a whole movie of annoying sounds

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon it's incredibly important to make your voiceover narrator at least sound a little bit the way your Dr Frankenstein looks and OMG that's _totally_ Action Johnny!

"We've got a part for you. You need to wear red, and deliver us about 20 minutes of demented screaming."
#Monsterdon

DID IT TAKE US NEAR FORTY-FIVE MINUTES

TO LOOP BACK TO THE START OF THE FILM?!

#monsterdon

"what's the matter?" this lady's just looked at the movie's script and realized it never gets any better. #monsterdon

I'm having a bit of trouble understanding the delirious lady in red, cowering in the various corners of her room.

#monsterdon

If this had been made by Jean Rollin, the music would be better, there'd be more (female) skin, the fangs would be twice as long,…and it would have made even _less_ sense.

#monsterdon

"What is it? What's the matter?'

I'm still in this movie! God *damn* it! #Monsterdon

Subtitles: [peacock crying]
wait where the fuck are they again?

#monsterdon