Frankenstein’s monsters makeup too what, 10-15 minutes?
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I can't tell if she's happy or sad. Or REALLY HAPPY. Like humming 4-D-Cells sort of happy. Well, I guess we'll never know.

But it explains why all the vegetables are oddly warm.

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

Wait but Frankenstein isn't a baddy like that you guys

Why are they humming The Volga Boatmen?

#Monsterdon

I went hunting for the lyrics and found somethign that is absolutely not right

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mz/fesses.html

warning: lots of butt

#monsterdon

Well that bottomed nicely

#Monsterdon

Frankenstein's monster comes in his own Ikea box #monsterdon

I was working in my laboratory late one night~ When I beheld a spooky sight~
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

in order to revive dracula you must remove the stake and infuse him with the blood of Edith Piaf

#monsterdon

combover turtleneck man pays for it....

#Monsterdon

@diazona By a good amount
#monsterdon

#monsterdon The lovely germanic Blue Morpho butterfly. It mutters!

Ah yes, here he is in the terrible makeup!

Those do NOT look like stitches.

#Monsterdon

It’s the eyeball school of method acting.
#Monsterdon

are those... oh my goodness. are those supposed to be surgical scars on the monster's face?

#monsterdon

oh boy, there's the Monster......they've gone for 'cheap Halloween mask' , haven't they?

#Monsterdon

That's not a Frankenstein monster, that's a seasick juggalo. #monsterdon

NO EXPENSE spared on those special effects #monsterdon

Leave him alone. He's monsterbating. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

the frankenstein's monster makeup is... something

#monsterdon

Just under 27 minutes in, we have Frankenstein's monster!

#Monsterdon

so frankenstein looks like his mom did his makeup for trick or treat

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

FRANKENSTEIN!

@hollie @trixter yeah that was something else

#Monsterdon

My bad. He's just making espresso. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

"I will FINALLY get my Christmas lights JUST AS I WANT THEM"

#monsterdon

I wish more mental health care these days involved letting the patient chill out and paint and also, judging by the sheen of her hair, get blowouts

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

I would like to please watch that perfectly matched team pull that buggy again for the rest of this movie kthx

Oh yay - it's laboratory time for Doctor Frankenstein. You know there's gotta be a Van de Graaff generator in there somewhere.

#monsterdon

@liferstate is "Foley Artist" code for "Cocaine Dealer"? #Monsterdon

blinkenlights!

#monsterdon

Hell yeah knobs and levers time :3
#monsterdon

This "minutes of almost no dialogue followed by a line of narration that jumps wildly ahead of what we've been shown" is certainly a novel way to put together a "movie" #monsterdon

#monsterdon He is as eloquent has my coworkers.

Use your words lady #monsterdon

Words!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon the bats really give the place that je ne sais quoi

"La la la la la la la, I'm just a young girl with fresh blood la la la AHHHHH I'M HAVING AN ORGASM no wait I think I'm crying"
#Monsterdon

All I heard was “the fresh blood of a young girl”. So… what’d I miss? #Monsterdon

@strangefour I may have to watch Monty Python afterwards to make that a reality

#Monsterdon

Oh good, here come the coffins of soil, glad to hear this this is truly part of the Real Estate Transaction Cinematic Universe

#Monsterdon

so, dracula will come back from the rubber bat?
#monsterdon

I kinda like this castle's layout, does zillow cover lichtenstein?

#monsterdon

That is the Stupidest bat!
#monsterdon

@kshernandez Supposedly, the film is in Spanish, but that doesn’t look like Spanish to me. @blogdiva, any idea?

#Monsterdon

Finally, the rubber bat appears!!! Well, at least its shadow.

#Monsterdon

Are bats in this thing supposed to shriek audibly? Just trying to understand the sound effects. #monsterdon

@kshernandez Knowing things about this movie may be hazardous to your health

#Monsterdon

Was everyone on this film on drugs? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

Ok that sound was labeled 'bat shrieking' so I guess that was the intended interpretation? Sounded like a person?

“Dracula’s castle!”
“Dracula’s castle!”
"Dracula’s castle!”
“It’s only a model.”
“Shhh!”

#Monsterdon

They're saying words, but not really conversing. Tough luck for anyone hoping for a Bechdel pass #monsterdon

Anyone know what that says? #monsterdon

#monsterdon The auto policy! The magnifying glass! A chilled bottle of Ensure!

@allanb "the english way" it's called

#Monsterdon

Well at least we know where the Toilettes are now. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

"...and now back to our ritual"
#monsterdon

Err, are we in the 70s now?

Car? Jukebox?

Pipe smoking cravat wearer...

#Monsterdon

"two words... first word? sounds like... frak... frak you la?"

#monsterdon

Chechov's "Toilettes"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon
Possibilities:
Lute
Mandolin
Harpsichord
Dulcimer..

"It's EYE-gor."

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

I'm going to hold my breath until this movie passes the bechdel test

#monsterdon

"What... Is it?"

It's a bad movie, honey. Sorry. #Monsterdon

SHE SAID THE THING

#Monsterdon

Is this Robin Williams narrating? Because that would be so cool. #Monsterdon

And we're back to the horse-and-buggy sounds. Man, the horse has so far got more screen time than any of the actors

#monsterdon

what other wacky sounds can we add to this scene? maybe BOING or a CHICKA-CHICKA-WOW-WOW?

#Monsterdon

@nev oh yeah, that was rough too.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

OK but that team is PERFECTLY matched look at them with that high stepping trot 💞 🐎 🐎 💞

@blogdiva Dracula has to ask to be allowed entry, but no one else needs to ask him. It's an inversion of privilege #monsterdon

People. That talk. #monsterdon

#monsterdon No dialogue really, so Dennis Villenuve would be wetting his pants going "See! See! Dialogue is for sissies!” LOL

They couldn't even get proper coconuts for the horse clopping sounds. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

The not-really-a-bat is getting lots of screen time. #monsterdon

what's a Bechdel test except for "any two characters speaking to each other about anything at all"

#monsterdon

you stay dead! AND STAY BAT!

#monsterdon

Dialogue! 🥳 #monsterdon

at long last, dialogue! #monsterdon

oh great, we get words and it's a fucking voiceover

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

that dialog was just a list of noun phrases

Nice of Dracula to install a handrail rope for his murderer's safety

#Monsterdon

I do like it in vampire films when staking a vampire is less like using a wooden sword and more like an episode of This Old House. #monsterdon

Shhh he's sleeping #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

Chicken?

oh.

IT'S A STAKEOUT.

#monsterdon

Temu-ass Van Helsing with his Temu-ass shiny vinyl doctor bag. #monsterdon

Oh good we have the right one

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

omg that tiny little hammer lmao
#monsterdon

dracula staked. the end. let's go home everyone

#monsterdon

@nev Yeah, the worst would have to be that mexican wrestling film the one time.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Opens coffin "Nothing I haven't seen before.."

#monsterdon The wind makes me think of gigawatts of wasted turbine power.

Bats sound like faulty whistles?
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Unfortunately these are only, like, the third-worst bats I've seen in a #Monsterdon selection.

The script was just mostly directions instead of, you know, dialogue I'm guessing
#monsterdon

WE GET IT

THERE'S A BAT PRESENT

MOVE ON

#Monsterdon

really vibing with this dulcimer-centric score

#monsterdon

"...move the door back and forth more for the next take. We need more squeaks!"

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

#monsterdon Mandolin or Harpsichord?