sorry lady

that not watch

that candle

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

must…not…get pedantic…about "John"…and "Jonathan"…being different names…AGAIN…

#Monsterdon

Is that vampire beat poetry?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

She’s just saying random words.

#Monsterdon

@jeffron I like how you left out "named" from "no two named characters" because these characters literally don't have names.
#monsterdon
@culturednyc

How is Dracula chill with all of this? I expected with the title that Dracula making an escape attempt was going to be the plot. Dracula escaping from prison is a great plot hook!
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Who’s biting who? #Monsterdon

@Crazypedia ty ty

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

Oh no now there's more noun phrases!

I'm not sure a sling would be sufficient for Seward's injuries?

#Monsterdon

@jivens There are characters in this film?

#Monsterdon

Bisexual vampire action has never been so bland.
#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

entire scenes are just woman makes upset noises while lightly thrashing around

#Monsterdon

WTF when did it become daytime

#Monsterdon

Is it almost over? #Monsterdon

This is just a sex club now....

#Monsterdon

To think this lab is actually someone's wine cellar in Portugal

#monsterdon

"...turn the machine up to maximum eyebrows!"

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

so eye-gor's _other_ fetish is, what, electric nipple clamps? is that that we're doing here?

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

#Monsterdon doin' it while the bats watch you

hot

These are, like, the most uncomfortable-looking (un-)people ever

#Monsterdon

This dracula seems more like a disgusting, barely ambulatory corpse than the usual movie vampire.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret at least she had a cool dominatrix costume 🙄

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

#Monsterdon who the fuck is this couple?

This movie #Monsterdon

@socketwench We _both_ went to Death Bed at the SAME TIME. What. WHAT. WHAT IS THIS MOVIE DOING TO US?

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Has anyone managed to confirm or refute if this movie killed any innocent bats?

#monsterdon

"I just flew in and really like your vibe" vampire thruple...

#monsterdon

Movie has been completely disrupted by fussy baby, but coming back, looks like that did no harm at all.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

people thought devil girl from mars was slow. devil girl's looking pretty right now, innit?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon She’s not sure, perhaps sexing up the lobster tail would have consequences she couldn't forsee.

You know. I hate to say this. But I can't keep this to myself any longer.

Death Bed: The Bed that Eats had more plot.

Death. Bed.

#monsterdon

Was just about to finally get laid and got vamped instead. Shame. #monsterdon

Oh, single beds, Sexy!
#monsterdon

That’s pretty much how sex goes, right?

#Monsterdon

Dracula and his bride agreed to try swinging, but they keep killing the other couples and they don't know if they should bring that up in therapy

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

there are a lotta close ups of weird open mouths and that's a nope for me

This movie completely ignores the conventional lore that vampires must be invited into your home. They just break break in and go to town feeding.

#Monsterdon

I do like the spontaneity of this movie, I have no idea who these people are or what their involvement with the plot might be, at all.

It's daring.

#monsterdon

Oh gosh, remember when bedroom scenes had to include two separate beds, and the actors had to keep one foot on the floor during make-out scenes?! Er, or in this case blood-sucking scenes. #Monsterdon

Q: Why do they keep focusing on her chest?

A: Because horny, desperate middle-aged guys are totally out of control with this thing and they want to get their money's worth from the porn actresses they hired

#monsterdon

That rubber bat from Spencer's is going to be pretty ragged by the end of this movie. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

"Tonight's episode: The writer's barely disguised (and strangely vanilla) fetish"

#Monsterdon

That feels like legally distinct Night on Bald Mountain, but that song was already over 100 years old at the time...

#Monsterdon

people who were of age when this came out went on to bitch about how these kids today watch people play video games on their computers

#Monsterdon

@trixter @Configures They may also be trying their beast. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
OH. Dracula is a prisoner of *Frankenstein*, not the monster. Right.

@moira@mastodon.murkworks.net Good point, I wonder what the horse butts are doing.

#DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #Monsterdon

What? Oh, those? No, she's not a vampire. She just moe.

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat Laserblast was a great movie. I'll die on that (desert) hill. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Patients who took the pill turned inside out less than 75% of the time! Ask your doctor if violent inversions are for you!!!

we're just sittin' here watching the horse butts go round and rouuuuuuuouououound

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

My cat came out while Maria was shrieking and howled back.

#monsterdon

okay lady, i really need you to shut up

#Monsterdon

wait, the horse and carriage again? so is this all in the 70s?

loving the expressive dance way The Monster killed that weird doctor

#Monsterdon

someone get Maria a throat lozenge, she's done nothing but scream this entire film. #monsterdon

Was that a peacock?

#Monsterdon

This is like watching paint dry, but not quite as exciting. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

now there's just random ticking noises for the one-horse buggy but holy crap do NOT whip that horsie Morpho you are bad bad bad individual

@floatybirb You understand what’s happening? Are you like a terrible movie savant? #Monsterdon

The famous Typewriter Horse.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Those fang marks are awfully close together, maybe it's been forced perspective this whole time and Dracula is 1:6 scale, like a Barbie

#Monsterdon

Look, we had too much happening last week, this week we have to take a break from anything happening at all.

#monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Oh, now it's HIS turn to strip! Take it off, doctor, woo! #Monsterdon

@rberlim Sometimes, that's enough! #RunningAndDucking #Monsterdon

Actually, I liked that we saw Drac's eyes dart while consuming.

#Monsterdon

BTW country doctor is running an opium den of one, isn’t he?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

This isn’t exactly a silent movie, but it kind of wants to be one.
#monsterdon

@Zerofactorial @josh0 *spoiler alert* -- ALL the lines of dialogue

#Monsterdon

Is… is all the dialog in this film via telepathy? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

why is this now the tinkle tinkle sound?

👁️ 👄

#monsterdon

Dracula looks more confused than me

#monsterdon

Heinz Doofenschmirtz would make a better vamporesurrectinator than this guy. #Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Dracula's had some caps put in!

#monsterdon

train whistle car horn dog bark awoogah rooster crow

#Monsterdon

I love that we have literally only one character motivation and desires. I mean because he literally narrated them. That's cinema baby!!
#monsterdon

@rberlim All signs point to no

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

WatchVibe (TM)

Confusion ⬆️
Frustration ⬆️
Wut ⬆️

I feel bad for the bats

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva@mastodon.social I think the Frankenstein monster is there as a threat that can take on Dracula, keeping him under control so the good doctor can use him to take over the world. But that's just speculation

#DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #Monsterdon

So Dr Seward is still alive, and... not even that old. Guess I was wrong about the timeline with this?

#Monsterdon

“To enslave the mortals of the world” via art therapy, blood transfusion and cheap sex #Monsterdon

@floatybirb and smol cat #monsterdon

Dr. Frankenstein, shut up with your head dialogue. Do you know how stupid it makes you sound?

#Monsterdon

Lol is he just Weekend-at-Bernie'sing Dracula around in his car?!

#Monsterdon

@huronbikes The violin player playing "screech-screech-screech" was right next to the cameraman and kept bumping his arm.
#monsterdon

@blue lol my thoughts exactly

#Monsterdon

will this girl have any relevance on this plot besides screaming and squirming?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⛓️ 🧟‍♂️ 😱

wut

I really hope nobody can hear this movie through the walls of my hotel room

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ
No truer word have ever been posted. #Monsterdon

Also, I think that counts as a boob, but that wasn't on my bingo card, so eh.

#Monsterdon

That shot he just gave her? What was it? Asking for a friend.

#Monsterdon

I think I heard a catbird call #monsterdon

#monsterdon Someone quick, queue up "Is it gettin hot in heeeeere….”

I'm really glad I'm wearing headphones, because imagine having to explain why this movie has so much moaning.

#Monsterdon

There is no Maria, only Zuul... #monsterdon

#monsterdon He was horny for a salt lick, she was handy…

#Monsterdon Director: Okay, let's do another smash cut to Maria screaming and making crying orgasm noises!