as everyone's noted there are so many lost comedic moments in this. it just needed a single workshop

#monsterdon

Here we go 🫧🫧🫧

#Monsterdon

@msh
IDK, I've been in some interesting maintenance spaces.

But I have to say, meeting even ordinary critters in them with constricted movement is among my bigger fears.

#Monsterdon

I think the Marcia thing with her flailing on the end of a cord is supposedly comical?

#monsterdon

This building has been on a fire for a *very* long time now...

#monsterdon #critt3rs

#Monsterdon Is it just me or did this really slow down?

Before cell phones we all had to hang out of windows and use our body weight to swing ourselves toward pay phone booths

#Monsterdon #Critters3

You got little hands, reach under the mower and pull that stick out. #Monsterdon #Critters3

oofff, granny is skilled with the blade...

#Monsterdon

Hi #monsterdon what type of Critters 3 character are you?

I wanted to add more options but I can only put four things on a poll.

It's nice that falling 2 stories and having her whole body weight pull on her leg didn't, you know, rip her leg out of its socket or anything. Didnt' even hurt.
#monsterdon

Blackie is a soprano. #Monsterdon #CrittersCrittersCritters #Critt3rs

saved! by the previous movie!

#monsterdon

Kill crites. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

oh it's THE CRITE ALARM

okaaaaay

#monsterdon

#monsterdon FOUR puppets!

A lot of bum-steer tension building scenes in this one
#monsterdon

okay they have names apparently

#monsterdon #critt3rs

This critter was clearly an opera singer back on its home planet

#Monsterdon #Critters3

Cute rodent alert!

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou @klu9 I've heard of software bugs, but this is ridiculous! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Annie, are you okay?

Bill & Ted's phone booth is here? *air guitar*
#Monsterdon #Critters3

oh please yes yes yes yes nooooo

#Monsterdon #Critters3

@Lazarou

Release a malware-infected app on Google Play?

#Monsterdon

Oh, that cable didn't tear her leg off completely? #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

oh! if this movie does away with Competent Lesbian, i will RIOT.

#monsterdon

awww, but that's a cute rat!

#Monsterdon

Marsha devises a plan, which involves climbing out a window, balancing on wires and then getting to a phone. It kind of works but then she slips and is hanging upside down from a wire, swinging back and forth trying to get to a phone.

The daughter overcomes her fear of heights and starts climbing down a ladder to try to get help. The daughter yells at her for doing a dangerous thing, but she does it anyway because she's more competent than the dad anyway.

#monsterdon

“I can do anything. I work for the phone company.”

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

still no bubbles????????

#monsterdon

marcia, you're from the phone company, why are you lost. (this plot is about to do her dirty, isn't it.)

#monsterdon

Fortunately this apartment tower has Jeffries tubes #monsterdon

Well I'm out $10 thanks to these violent bezoars

#Monsterdon

I hope that one critter feasting on beans has a giant farting spree later

#Monsterdon #Critters3

i legit cannot believe they had the critter drink dish soap and NOT burp up bubbles

#monsterdon

@wohali "Drink our products, we don't care" #Monsterdon

I’ll just tap into the phone line

You will?!

#monsterdon

do they only have 3 puppets for this movie?

what the hell

#monsterdon

Yum! It's cilantro flavored dish soap! #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

I'm sorry, one of them safely drank dish soap? What?

#monsterdon #critters3

so much P&G product placement, hahah.

#monsterdon

@floatybirb the broom puppet sequence was brilliant.

#Monsterdon

They got cute little grabby hands. #Monsterdon #Critters3

#monsterdon

"I can do anything. I work for the phone company."

Wait, wasn't that an SNL bit?

#monsterdon #critters3

"Your grandfather and I haven't been up there in years...it was our den of debauchery..." #monsterdon #critters3

Butch Erin Gray is gonna save them with telco MacGyvering, isn’t she?

#Monsterdon

In grandma's apartment, now lit by candles, because the dead evil landlord sabotoged the power, the heroes are gathered but are being besieged by fuzzballs. Marsha tries to find a weapon, and Grandma suggests a giant meat cleaver.

They discover a hatch in the ceiling and Joshua explores it to find an escape route to the roof.

Dad is chilling with the laundry level but the daughter shames him into going up the ladder instead of doing nothing.

#monsterdon

the crites are attempting Ramming Speed.

for all the shit these apartments are, the doors are *excellent*

#monsterdon

Hey Siri, can you get high on Critter quill poison?

#monsterdon

remember the hungry heifer song?

#monsterdon

next Easter we're gonna have to do critters 2 again. it IS an Easter movie so I think we have to

#monsterdon

if they chewed through the other door, why are they just rolling into this one?!

#monsterdon

Aww I could have had a light up Critter as a #Halloween decoration!
#Monsterdon #Critters3

A little over halfway through, and we get explicit monster acknowledgement
#monsterdon

Sorry, Annie, you're too old for him. At this age Leo's only dating fetuses.

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

Fred Trump vibes #monsterdon

oh okay he wasn't get blackout drunk he just got drugged by the critters

#monsterdon

they roll up stairs, alone or in pairs

#monsterdon

lol, was he around for the civil war?

#Monsterdon

Oh, josh. Don't regret your last words to your shit bag stepfather. It's not your fault he's a shit bag.

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

this movie isn't even trying. even with a low budget you can do better than this

#monsterdon

are there any hospitals in this city? or urgent cares? #monsterdon

EAT PHOSPHORUS, CRITE

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Critters took "Eat The Rich" literally

„We ran out of money for the effects“
„Show some mildly related TV footage instead?“
„Brilliant“
#monsterdon #critt3rs

Marsha channeling her inner Ripley energy.

#Monsterdon

critters say EAT THE RICH

#monsterdon

Weird to see a landlord being depicted as having a purpose (Critter food) but I like experimental cinema

#Monsterdon

flares indoors are not a good idea maam

#monsterdon

"I wish you were dead!"

From your mouth to God's ears, kid…

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

The critters have the Magic Missile cantrip #monsterdon #dnd

Go on, eat the rich!

#monsterdon #critters3

Monkey paw curls a finger. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

Go get eaten like a good prick, Chett :D #Monsterdon

Oh, he’s about to get eaten. Comically evil human landlord - it’s what’s for dinner.

#Monsterdon #Critter3

OK, this is dumb, but I've not been entertained this much by a #monsterdon in a while.

How long does a battery-powered CRT TV last?

#Monsterdon #Critters3

Did you use a flashlight to find that flare and light it when the lights went out?
#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Your landlord is here to evict you! 🎵 "

Uh, I thought the whole point was to scare them out without them knowing it was you?

Wasn't that the point?

Alien porcupines? Okay, she's not wrong. #Monsterdon

remember when one of the shape shifting alien bounty hunters shape shifted into a big critter to trick the critters into going into the freezer with the dynamite?

in this movie people stand around a stairwell

#monsterdon

Why is Evil Landlord Stepdad just Great Value Vincent Price?

#monsterdon #critters3

please eat this motherfucker #monsterdon

@mmezabet

https://ohai.social/@klu9/115245207831850566

#Monsterdon

Ugh. I wanna be like "we coulda been watching Alligator, but oh no, you had to vote for this…"

But, guys, this is kinda hilarious. It's terrible, but hilarious.

I mean, the smash cuts to bowling? Classic.

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

They've cut the hard line! It's a trap!

#monsterdon #critters3

"she can throw the strikes"

okay, this movie knows exactly what it is, and honestly, i respect that.

#monsterdon

ok, that bowling cut was amazing

#monsterdon

remember when the Critters went wild in the hungry heifer restaurant and then when the towns people put dynamite in the restaurant freezer food to lure in the critters?

#monsterdon

Me when I see a mouse in the kitchen, the movie

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou short range precision tactical fires #Monsterdon #CrittersCrittersCritters #Critt3rs

Trump senor there with his philosophies...

"son, they're all animals"

#Monsterdon

This critter could just stop biting the mop.
#monsterdon

"ooh no, noooo! Nooooooooo"

That's also what I say when my leg is being savaged by carnivorous rodents

#Monsterdon

Gratuitous mop violence

#Monsterdon #Critters3

ok internet I'm disappointed I cannot find a pre-made gif or youtube clip of that 10 seconds of TMNT (the old one) where Raph is coming out of a showing of Critters, looks back, and says "Man, where do they come up with this stuff?!" and walks away.

Disappointed. #monsterdon

@log hey that's just my kind of doughnut

#Monsterdon #Critters3

So bleach kills critters. Cool.
#Monsterdon