Wow, those eggs are laid fast.

#monsterdon #critters3

Before they part ways, the weird guy hands the son a magic crystal that grows green when monsters are near. The older boy, whose name is "Joshua" and whose stepdad is the mysterious guy in yellow, managed to steel an electric pen or sonic screwdriver or phaser or something from the weird guy before they left. On their return the mysterious guy in yellow threatens to beat Joshua.

#monsterdon

"Are you supposed to be scary?"
"Well, crazy, so kind of?"
#monsterdon

"...the first crystal is free."

#Monsterdon #Critters3

National Lampoon's Critters Vacation.

#monsterdon #critt3rs

labubucam ™️ #monsterdon

If this is supposed to get us caught up in a way that makes sense, I don't think it's working

#Monsterdon

After some frisbeeing, the older boy throws a frisbee off a cliff and goes to retrieve it, despite the risk of badgers. The other kids and some extra children we found somewhere follow too because what else are they going to do.

As he grabs the frisbee, there is an explosion and a weird man with a flashlight on his head and an empty bandolier emerges from a pile of leaves and berates the kids before telling us his life story, that involves a spaceship.

#monsterdon

It’s “that guy” from the first two films. Fan favorite character “that guy”
#monsterdon

CAPTAIN FALCON!? #Monsterdon

The son throws his frisbee into the grass and goes to get it. He is accosted by an older boy who tells him to not run over the edge because there might be badgers there or something. The daughter ambushes the older boy and calls him a pervert, then they deescalate and decide to play frisbee.

Dad meets another parking lot denizen, a mysterious man dressed in yellow who is drinking a cocktail in a parking lot.

#monsterdon

Sweet and sour pork for din. Not a massive variety of veg(onion/green pepper) but it's a nice thick, but not heavy, S&S sauce. #monsterdon

@diazona Oh yeah. Thanks for the reminder. #Monsterdon

Thank you for explaining where 'Mom' is, keep bringing up that trauma !

#Monsterdon

@flowerpot Same

Except the aliens who shapeshifted into a rock band

#Monsterdon #Critters3

They're lucky this was made in the 90s, otherwise that flat tire would have caused the whole vehicle to explode.

#Monsterdon #Critters3

That tire might have been explosively damaged.

#monsterdon #critters3

"Oh Films" insert disappointed man looking at dog meme here #Monsterdon

I’m back in for Monsterdon!

#Monsterdon #Critters3

We want the Crites!

#Critters3 #monsterdon

"Hmm, I wonder if there are any bugs I can eat in the basement?!"

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

She turns into Jesus when the cross gets too close

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

@starkraving666 #monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

ikr Charlie's gonna be having dreams about THAT

that kid looks like Linda Hamilton when she's pissed off.

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

ooh, he spent 6 years on undergrad too!

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

that must be Boris Motheater, Level 23 vampire

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

don't worry charlie, you've just reached puberty, that's all. you may have strange dreams for a while.

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

is this a blade movie? cause this vampire can blade

#Monsterdon

Roller skating vampire? That's a little dumb but really stylish. Good work.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

time to go do some midnight painting....

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

wtf was that. Also, how old are these people supposed ta be?

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

@moira

Gremlins 2 was basically set in Trump Tower!

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

and the theme is the Heifer Burger song from Critters 2

#Monsterdon

@klu9 Casino Royale with Cheese #Monsterdon

wtf kind of Overlook Hotel place does this vampire hunter live in?!?

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

@moira

So... Gremlins 2?

or High-Rise with wee beasties

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou "Always two there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice."
#monsterdon

So that had the makings of a fun film, but very few actual fun moments 😀. Though kind of an amusing shwarma ending. But as always, thanks for gathering us all together, @Taweret #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

The Living Daycrites

#Monsterdon

how does your credit sequence have a better plot than your movie has?

#monsterdon

Aaanyway, I'm off to the nearest SCP office to find a MiB that can erase my memory of the last 90 minutes. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

My first #Monsterdon was so fucking fun omg thank you @Taweret

@xerozohar *raises hand

#Monsterdon

Oh whoops, post-credits (or inter-credits) stinger: there are still two critter eggs left and Charlie is forbidden from doing a genocide, so another critters film must be created. Too bad we will never, ever watch it.

Well, good night!

#monsterdon

"The war with the Machine Empire grows harder for us by the astro-day, we need chaos bastards like the Crites to thwart our enemy!"

#Monsterdon

That was like a whole second movie at the end there.

#Monsterdon

@klu9 #Monsterdon

@Louisa Which is weird because the movie probably should have been a bit shorter.

#monsterdon #critters3

Your toots were entertaining as always, #Monsterdon! Maybe next Sunday I’ll actually watch the movie, too

A cylindrical zoo pod crashes into the basement, and "To Be Continued" flashes on the screen. Then we get normal credits without weird antics.

#monsterdon

Thanks for hosting @Taweret and to all the #monsterdon gang for making this film bearable!

We get more weird credit antics. Weird Forest Guy finds some alien eggs. Weird Forest Guy almost detonates some grenades. Weird Forest Guy finds a laser hologram that is also a message from space, where he has friends. They tell him to not kill all the Critters, he has to save the last two eggs so they don't get extinct. He has to deliver the eggs to a space zoo pod to preserve the species.

#monsterdon

What if the credits were like, 7 or 8 stingers

#Monsterdon

Hey this seems like fun credits time, I'm liking this

#Monsterdon

@flowerpot

I think that was the title of the porn mockbuster version of this

#Monsterdon

@Taweret You think it had one to begin with?
#monsterdon

I'm glad the small urban community was saved.

#Monsterdon

And the police/fire might have arrived without calling, and solve things off screen

#monsterdon #critters3

Glad they caught that kid; that's exactly how we got Last Action Hero

#Monsterdon

Is that critter morph-ball power-up-then-charge gag a _Sonic the Hedgehog_ reference..?

#monsterdon

Chekhov’s neglectful dad!

#monsterdon

"Please! Somebody be not useless!"

#Monsterdon

ANOTHER TARZAN YELL? Don't lose me now, movie.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Pay attention to your glowy thing or the critter will get you!

#monsterdon This neighborhood is more big-city than I was expecting.

Critters succeed in reaching the rooftop, eating some bubbles, then stab Joshua with a needle. Grandma dispatches one with a meat cleaver. The daughter fixes the weird forest guy's submachine raygun for him and he blasts one of the creatures.

Outside, Marsha is swinging back and fourth between the phone booth and the air, trying to complete a call to emergency services.

#monsterdon

lol, Marcia's swinging torment...

#MOnsterdon

@apLundell ooooh okay that's who he was calling. okay.

#monsterdon #critt3rs

The rare movie elevator trope when it uncontrollably goes *up*. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

#Monsterdon 🦔 🦔 🦔 🌃 🏙️ 👦🩸😱!

BINGO 🎉 💞 🎉

god dammit, this guy again
#monsterdon

Also, props to the explanation that the grandpa called the weird forest guy to help.

#monsterdon

@bstacey That's a good question that the scripts editors forgot to ask!

#monsterdon #critters3

@SnoopJ No argument there lol

#Monsterdon #Critters3

How would the Critters take out the phone and internet in a modern remake? eat the local mobile mast? fuck it all up with chaos?

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Eh it's a legitimate conversational tactic, you show empathy by relating a similar experience

#Monsterdon #Critters3

#Monsterdon *inflates you, making you big and round*

Finally bubbles

#monsterdon #critters3

Practical Lesbian saves the day again!

#Monsterdon

critter hijinks are the best part

#monsterdon

so much of the 80s and 90s was moving around in false ceilings and vents..

Marcia is going to be the 'brave warrior sacrifice', isn't she?

#monsterdon

@Louisa

That is a great question!

#Monsterdon #Critters3

A fire breaks out in the basement, then the humans escape through the ladder. Marsha's plan is to hotwire the phone box to call for help.

Then the critters break into their house and start drinking the dish detergent, eating all the beans and pies and giggling.

#monsterdon

“I can do anything. I work for the phone company.”

#Monsterdon #Critters3

HOT LESBIAN PUNCHED THE CRITTER IN THE FACE

#monsterdon

She needs to recreate the scene in Alien where Dallas is working his way through the shaft and lights the match in the dark and CRITTERS ARE ON ALL SIDES

#Monsterdon #Critters3

JFC. Sam Darnold is 16/16 with 282 yards and 4 touchdowns. At halftime. #monsterdon

#monsterdon

When needed for the plot, they sprout arms and legs?

Dad is tripping balls and maybe horny

#Monsterdon

Why does the vibe shift into badass with the flares? Am I smoothbrained? #Monsterdon

This sequel needs more Easter Bunny deaths

#monsterdon

@gnomon #TeamMonster

#Monsterdon #Critters3

#monsterdon

Bon Appetit, Critters!

Yes! Kill your father and ascend to godhood!

#MOnsterdon

The quill poison makes you forget stuff?

#monsterdon

lol, ALL aliens love Human pop culture...

#Monsterdon

lol, 'Landlords' up there with Cops for baddies to this crowd

#MOnsterdon

Did you forget that Critters can shoot quills?

That’s okay, Critters also forget that they can shoot quills.

#monsterdon

Trump Snr can get eaten next

Practical Lesbian saves the day!

#Monsterdon

"They're big, they're huge, they're like badger-possums..."

"Rosie, calm down, you just saw a big rat!"

Yeah that checks out, the rats around this city are about the size of basketballs and at least roughly as spherical.

#monsterdon