MONSTER CHOMP
"Let him go, he can't help being an asshole!"
(Lighting that basement with one of those dark red road flares seems like a terrible idea. Even in the open air the fumes from those things are nauseating, and the phosphorous light is more than bright enough to destroy your night vision.)
Whoops! CRITTER KILL: phosphorous road flare? I think?
@Taweret I do think that cutting in footage of Julia Child dressing a chicken is a pretty funny way to rob the audience of an on-screen kill, though.
After his dad berates him for being squeamish toward a cooking show that is somehow on a TV, Joshua decides his dad is a jerk and says he hates him, which the audience agrees with.
After he leaves, more fuzzballs ambush Evil Sweater Man and presumably eat him, which the audience approves of. Them Marsha appears to investigate, using her Signal Flare ability. She finds his corpse in a recliner, where a fuzzball is probably eating it.
Evil landlord is *really* insistent upon raising his child in the family business
*a cylindrical garbage can or cigarette ash tray or whatever is rolled down the stairs, intercut with championship bowling footage and accompanied by bowling-ball sound effects; four or five critters are smacked in slow motion and fly straight up into the air*
Leaning hard into the camp this time, I see. Well, we knew into what we were getting.
Man alive I cannot get over how "paint by numbers" this action music is. It sounds like it came out of a catalogue, and hey, maybe it did.
At least the creators had foresight enough to use it to build up a quiet moment for that bowling ball gag, which was actually pretty fun.
Nice cut-in, I like that :D #Monsterdon
@CactuarJoe "You gotta listen to me, they're aweful!" said the other audience stand-in #monsterdon
As the most useful character in this movie, the daughter appears to rescue laundry lady from the monsters; she fights them off with a broom, gaining 20XP, then both of them go to tell her dad. Laundry lady describes the monsters as Tasmanian devils, then realizes that she's bleeding and falls over. Dad tries to help but doesn't believe in the basement aliens and thinks they are just rats (despite laundry lady's giant wounds).
Try gaslighting the ladies now dad
They really wanted Divine for this role. #Monsterdon #Critters3
The Daughter wanders into the grandparent's flat to eat more pies and hear grandpa's story about aliens, then leaves.
The son is there eating pies too, and recognizes the weird guy from a photograph of a cop in a newspaper. Then his crystal grows green, indicating that orcs... i mean... um... furry mouthballs are near.
Offbrand national enquirer as a good new source, I'm reminded of Men In Black
I forgot that Critters are basically Sonic the Hedgehog with even more 'tude
@Taweret it's weird. did the movie people get it confused with a garbage chute? #Monsterdon
I'm guessing we're doing a redemption arc with the dad who starts neglectful but then gets less neglectful.
those are some elaborate earrings while your hair is up in curlers and you're doing laundry, ma'am.
ooo,like Sonic the Hedgehog!
They glow red now?
$10 on a Critter bustin straight outa them ham and beans
hi beautiful little rat actors! :blobfoxfloofcute:
That alternating two-note musical theme while the shot lingered on the broken basement window sounded _very_ reminiscent of Jerry Goldsmith's work from Alien (1979), eh?
Anyway, the trio of Bulk, Skulk and Butch are ambushed by the family from before, which almost crashes into them in their truck because it doesn't have breaks. After it fails to kill them, we see a crabapple below the truck, which music informs us is an evil critter egg.
The characters scatter to do various errands, the daughter goes to visit her grandparents after their road trip. Grandma makes her pies and grandpa tries to tell her that the Grand Canyon is an alien graveyard.
@Taweret fingers crossed
#Monsterdon
Yayy, child employment! U S A!
Look, if I saw weird goo I would not stick my finger in it...
note: the character I have called "Bulk" is not actually all that bulky. he kind of reminds me of Danny Devito. his name is mario also.
#Monsterdon 🦔 🦔 🦔 🌃 🏙️ 👦🩸😱!
Elevator ✅
The crites ate a brake line?
#monsterdon
Please! Notify the tire technician you have put Slime(tm) in your tires.
Wow, those eggs are laid fast.
Before they part ways, the weird guy hands the son a magic crystal that grows green when monsters are near. The older boy, whose name is "Joshua" and whose stepdad is the mysterious guy in yellow, managed to steel an electric pen or sonic screwdriver or phaser or something from the weird guy before they left. On their return the mysterious guy in yellow threatens to beat Joshua.
"Are you supposed to be scary?"
"Well, crazy, so kind of?"
#monsterdon
"...the first crystal is free."
National Lampoon's Critters Vacation.
labubucam ™️ #monsterdon
If this is supposed to get us caught up in a way that makes sense, I don't think it's working
After some frisbeeing, the older boy throws a frisbee off a cliff and goes to retrieve it, despite the risk of badgers. The other kids and some extra children we found somewhere follow too because what else are they going to do.
As he grabs the frisbee, there is an explosion and a weird man with a flashlight on his head and an empty bandolier emerges from a pile of leaves and berates the kids before telling us his life story, that involves a spaceship.
It’s “that guy” from the first two films. Fan favorite character “that guy”
#monsterdon
CAPTAIN FALCON!? #Monsterdon
The son throws his frisbee into the grass and goes to get it. He is accosted by an older boy who tells him to not run over the edge because there might be badgers there or something. The daughter ambushes the older boy and calls him a pervert, then they deescalate and decide to play frisbee.
Dad meets another parking lot denizen, a mysterious man dressed in yellow who is drinking a cocktail in a parking lot.
Sweet and sour pork for din. Not a massive variety of veg(onion/green pepper) but it's a nice thick, but not heavy, S&S sauce. #monsterdon
@diazona Oh yeah. Thanks for the reminder. #Monsterdon
Thank you for explaining where 'Mom' is, keep bringing up that trauma !
They're lucky this was made in the 90s, otherwise that flat tire would have caused the whole vehicle to explode.
That tire might have been explosively damaged.
"Oh Films" insert disappointed man looking at dog meme here #Monsterdon
I’m back in for Monsterdon!
We want the Crites!
Get you someone to look at you like Brian Thompson looks at beetles.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
"Hmm, I wonder if there are any bugs I can eat in the basement?!"
Fearless Vampire Killer! Title dro--- wait a minute.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
Always double check with a mirror guys. Remember last movie?
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
She turns into Jesus when the cross gets too close
Oh. This movie took some notes from Lair of the White Worm.
Wait have we done that on Monsterdon yet? I guess it might be too sexy. And weird.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
@starkraving666 #monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters
ikr Charlie's gonna be having dreams about THAT
So this is a party in Vampire the Masquerade right?
Roddy is so chipper in this scene. He hasn't been to a party in ages.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
that kid looks like Linda Hamilton when she's pissed off.
ooh, he spent 6 years on undergrad too!
that must be Boris Motheater, Level 23 vampire
don't worry charlie, you've just reached puberty, that's all. you may have strange dreams for a while.
wait.... her cousin knew how to use his lips with her?
is this a blade movie? cause this vampire can blade
LEL LEL LEL rollerblading vampire!!?!!
time to go do some midnight painting....
wtf was that. Also, how old are these people supposed ta be?
Is this movie going to take place in an apartment building too? Vampires in a Die Hard.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
@klu9 Casino Royale with Cheese #Monsterdon
wtf kind of Overlook Hotel place does this vampire hunter live in?!?
@Lazarou "Always two there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice."
#monsterdon
@jonny that was pretty brutal, ,like "homer kills the hamburglar " brutal #Monsterdon
So that had the makings of a fun film, but very few actual fun moments 😀. Though kind of an amusing shwarma ending. But as always, thanks for gathering us all together, @Taweret #Monsterdon
@davesdogmaggie it really was, such bold cinema, to hell with convention! #Monsterdon
how does your credit sequence have a better plot than your movie has?
Aaanyway, I'm off to the nearest SCP office to find a MiB that can erase my memory of the last 90 minutes. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs
My first #Monsterdon was so fucking fun omg thank you @Taweret
@xerozohar *raises hand
Oh whoops, post-credits (or inter-credits) stinger: there are still two critter eggs left and Charlie is forbidden from doing a genocide, so another critters film must be created. Too bad we will never, ever watch it.
Well, good night!
"The war with the Machine Empire grows harder for us by the astro-day, we need chaos bastards like the Crites to thwart our enemy!"
That was like a whole second movie at the end there.
why the fuck wasn't the plot of this credit sequence the movie????
wait those are the last two critter eggs anywhere?
no way there aren't more critters sneaking around the rest of the galaxy
@Louisa Which is weird because the movie probably should have been a bit shorter.
Your toots were entertaining as always, #Monsterdon! Maybe next Sunday I’ll actually watch the movie, too
A cylindrical zoo pod crashes into the basement, and "To Be Continued" flashes on the screen. Then we get normal credits without weird antics.
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Thanks for hosting @Taweret and to all the #monsterdon gang for making this film bearable!
We get more weird credit antics. Weird Forest Guy finds some alien eggs. Weird Forest Guy almost detonates some grenades. Weird Forest Guy finds a laser hologram that is also a message from space, where he has friends. They tell him to not kill all the Critters, he has to save the last two eggs so they don't get extinct. He has to deliver the eggs to a space zoo pod to preserve the species.
What if the credits were like, 7 or 8 stingers
Hey this seems like fun credits time, I'm liking this
Every time a movie puts a character in peril by showing them hanging from a fire escape or flag pole or whatever, and the bolts gradually tear out of the wall until the character falls, I feel like people are being misinformed about how strong those connections actually are. Those bolts _hang on_.