Evil landlord is *really* insistent upon raising his child in the family business

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Man alive I cannot get over how "paint by numbers" this action music is. It sounds like it came out of a catalogue, and hey, maybe it did.

At least the creators had foresight enough to use it to build up a quiet moment for that bowling ball gag, which was actually pretty fun.

#Monsterdon

Nice cut-in, I like that :D #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe "You gotta listen to me, they're aweful!" said the other audience stand-in #monsterdon

As the most useful character in this movie, the daughter appears to rescue laundry lady from the monsters; she fights them off with a broom, gaining 20XP, then both of them go to tell her dad. Laundry lady describes the monsters as Tasmanian devils, then realizes that she's bleeding and falls over. Dad tries to help but doesn't believe in the basement aliens and thinks they are just rats (despite laundry lady's giant wounds).

#monsterdon

Try gaslighting the ladies now dad

#MOnsterdon

They really wanted Divine for this role. #Monsterdon #Critters3

The Daughter wanders into the grandparent's flat to eat more pies and hear grandpa's story about aliens, then leaves.

The son is there eating pies too, and recognizes the weird guy from a photograph of a cop in a newspaper. Then his crystal grows green, indicating that orcs... i mean... um... furry mouthballs are near.

#monsterdon

Offbrand national enquirer as a good new source, I'm reminded of Men In Black

#monsterdon #critters3

I forgot that Critters are basically Sonic the Hedgehog with even more 'tude

#Monsterdon

@Taweret it's weird. did the movie people get it confused with a garbage chute? #Monsterdon

I'm guessing we're doing a redemption arc with the dad who starts neglectful but then gets less neglectful.

#monsterdon

those are some elaborate earrings while your hair is up in curlers and you're doing laundry, ma'am.

#Monsterdon

ooo,like Sonic the Hedgehog!

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ

For a second I thought he'd be just "bit" and would turn into a Krite himself

#Monsterdon

They glow red now?

#monsterdon #critters3

$10 on a Critter bustin straight outa them ham and beans

#Monsterdon

hi beautiful little rat actors! :blobfoxfloofcute:

#Monsterdon

That alternating two-note musical theme while the shot lingered on the broken basement window sounded _very_ reminiscent of Jerry Goldsmith's work from Alien (1979), eh?

#monsterdon

Anyway, the trio of Bulk, Skulk and Butch are ambushed by the family from before, which almost crashes into them in their truck because it doesn't have breaks. After it fails to kill them, we see a crabapple below the truck, which music informs us is an evil critter egg.

The characters scatter to do various errands, the daughter goes to visit her grandparents after their road trip. Grandma makes her pies and grandpa tries to tell her that the Grand Canyon is an alien graveyard.

#monsterdon

@Taweret fingers crossed
#Monsterdon

Yayy, child employment! U S A!

#Monsterdon

Look, if I saw weird goo I would not stick my finger in it...

#Monsterdon

note: the character I have called "Bulk" is not actually all that bulky. he kind of reminds me of Danny Devito. his name is mario also.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦔 🦔 🦔 🌃 🏙️ 👦🩸😱!

Elevator ✅

The crites ate a brake line?

#monsterdon #critters3

#monsterdon
Please! Notify the tire technician you have put Slime(tm) in your tires.

Wow, those eggs are laid fast.

#monsterdon #critters3

Before they part ways, the weird guy hands the son a magic crystal that grows green when monsters are near. The older boy, whose name is "Joshua" and whose stepdad is the mysterious guy in yellow, managed to steel an electric pen or sonic screwdriver or phaser or something from the weird guy before they left. On their return the mysterious guy in yellow threatens to beat Joshua.

#monsterdon

"Are you supposed to be scary?"
"Well, crazy, so kind of?"
#monsterdon

"...the first crystal is free."

#Monsterdon #Critters3

National Lampoon's Critters Vacation.

#monsterdon #critt3rs

labubucam ™️ #monsterdon

If this is supposed to get us caught up in a way that makes sense, I don't think it's working

#Monsterdon

After some frisbeeing, the older boy throws a frisbee off a cliff and goes to retrieve it, despite the risk of badgers. The other kids and some extra children we found somewhere follow too because what else are they going to do.

As he grabs the frisbee, there is an explosion and a weird man with a flashlight on his head and an empty bandolier emerges from a pile of leaves and berates the kids before telling us his life story, that involves a spaceship.

#monsterdon

It’s “that guy” from the first two films. Fan favorite character “that guy”
#monsterdon

Stop shouting at the kids, it's not helping your case dude..

Leo isn't impressed.

#Monsterdon

CAPTAIN FALCON!? #Monsterdon

The son throws his frisbee into the grass and goes to get it. He is accosted by an older boy who tells him to not run over the edge because there might be badgers there or something. The daughter ambushes the older boy and calls him a pervert, then they deescalate and decide to play frisbee.

Dad meets another parking lot denizen, a mysterious man dressed in yellow who is drinking a cocktail in a parking lot.

#monsterdon

Sweet and sour pork for din. Not a massive variety of veg(onion/green pepper) but it's a nice thick, but not heavy, S&S sauce. #monsterdon

@diazona Oh yeah. Thanks for the reminder. #Monsterdon

Thank you for explaining where 'Mom' is, keep bringing up that trauma !

#Monsterdon

@flowerpot Same

Except the aliens who shapeshifted into a rock band

#Monsterdon #Critters3

They're lucky this was made in the 90s, otherwise that flat tire would have caused the whole vehicle to explode.

#Monsterdon #Critters3

That tire might have been explosively damaged.

#monsterdon #critters3

"Oh Films" insert disappointed man looking at dog meme here #Monsterdon

I’m back in for Monsterdon!

#Monsterdon #Critters3

We want the Crites!

#Critters3 #monsterdon

Get you someone to look at you like Brian Thompson looks at beetles.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

"Hmm, I wonder if there are any bugs I can eat in the basement?!"

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

Fearless Vampire Killer! Title dro--- wait a minute.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

Always double check with a mirror guys. Remember last movie?
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

She turns into Jesus when the cross gets too close

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

Oh. This movie took some notes from Lair of the White Worm.
Wait have we done that on Monsterdon yet? I guess it might be too sexy. And weird.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

@starkraving666 #monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

ikr Charlie's gonna be having dreams about THAT

So this is a party in Vampire the Masquerade right?
Roddy is so chipper in this scene. He hasn't been to a party in ages.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

that kid looks like Linda Hamilton when she's pissed off.

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

ooh, he spent 6 years on undergrad too!

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

that must be Boris Motheater, Level 23 vampire

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

don't worry charlie, you've just reached puberty, that's all. you may have strange dreams for a while.

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

wait.... her cousin knew how to use his lips with her?

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

is this a blade movie? cause this vampire can blade

#Monsterdon

LEL LEL LEL rollerblading vampire!!?!!

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

time to go do some midnight painting....

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

wtf was that. Also, how old are these people supposed ta be?

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

@moira

Gremlins 2 was basically set in Trump Tower!

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

and the theme is the Heifer Burger song from Critters 2

#Monsterdon

Is this movie going to take place in an apartment building too? Vampires in a Die Hard.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2

@klu9 Casino Royale with Cheese #Monsterdon

wtf kind of Overlook Hotel place does this vampire hunter live in?!?

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongCritters

@moira

So... Gremlins 2?

or High-Rise with wee beasties

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou "Always two there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice."
#monsterdon

@jonny that was pretty brutal, ,like "homer kills the hamburglar " brutal #Monsterdon

So that had the makings of a fun film, but very few actual fun moments 😀. Though kind of an amusing shwarma ending. But as always, thanks for gathering us all together, @Taweret #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

The Living Daycrites

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie it really was, such bold cinema, to hell with convention! #Monsterdon

how does your credit sequence have a better plot than your movie has?

#monsterdon

Aaanyway, I'm off to the nearest SCP office to find a MiB that can erase my memory of the last 90 minutes. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

My first #Monsterdon was so fucking fun omg thank you @Taweret

@xerozohar *raises hand

#Monsterdon

Oh whoops, post-credits (or inter-credits) stinger: there are still two critter eggs left and Charlie is forbidden from doing a genocide, so another critters film must be created. Too bad we will never, ever watch it.

Well, good night!

#monsterdon

"The war with the Machine Empire grows harder for us by the astro-day, we need chaos bastards like the Crites to thwart our enemy!"

#Monsterdon

That was like a whole second movie at the end there.

#Monsterdon

@klu9 #Monsterdon

Ugh, more like “The Critters Take One Building”. Were they trying to cash in on the success of “Home Alone”?

The caption “Now they’re ready to do some REAL damage” over a Critter tearing through a photo of a cityscape implies a *much* larger scope to the damage.

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

why the fuck wasn't the plot of this credit sequence the movie????

#monsterdon

wait those are the last two critter eggs anywhere?

no way there aren't more critters sneaking around the rest of the galaxy

#Monsterdon #Critters3

@Louisa Which is weird because the movie probably should have been a bit shorter.

#monsterdon #critters3

Your toots were entertaining as always, #Monsterdon! Maybe next Sunday I’ll actually watch the movie, too

A cylindrical zoo pod crashes into the basement, and "To Be Continued" flashes on the screen. Then we get normal credits without weird antics.

#monsterdon

Thanks for hosting @Taweret and to all the #monsterdon gang for making this film bearable!

We get more weird credit antics. Weird Forest Guy finds some alien eggs. Weird Forest Guy almost detonates some grenades. Weird Forest Guy finds a laser hologram that is also a message from space, where he has friends. They tell him to not kill all the Critters, he has to save the last two eggs so they don't get extinct. He has to deliver the eggs to a space zoo pod to preserve the species.

#monsterdon

What if the credits were like, 7 or 8 stingers

#Monsterdon

Hey this seems like fun credits time, I'm liking this

#Monsterdon

@flowerpot

I think that was the title of the porn mockbuster version of this

#Monsterdon

Every time a movie puts a character in peril by showing them hanging from a fire escape or flag pole or whatever, and the bolts gradually tear out of the wall until the character falls, I feel like people are being misinformed about how strong those connections actually are. Those bolts _hang on_.

#monsterdon

@Taweret You think it had one to begin with?
#monsterdon

I'm glad the small urban community was saved.

#Monsterdon

And the police/fire might have arrived without calling, and solve things off screen

#monsterdon #critters3