*phosphor-torched critter sets drying clothes ablaze in the basement laundry room*
Implausible. Remember how regulations required clothing to meet minimum standards of flame retardance, and suddenly people stopped dying at parties from their dresses catching alight? That's a real thing!
I do really like the goofy critter puppets in this movie.
@CactuarJoe Bechdel Test passed with flying colors! #Monsterdon
The Towering Inferno 2: This Time It's a Critter #Monsterdon
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That's not a meat cleaver Ma'am, it's a beheading axe
JESUS CHRIST ma'am what buffalo are you disassembling? #Monsterdon
Yeah, make sure you move the unstable furniture with fire on top. #Monsterdon
It's nice how the building has come together though, reminds me of those early days of the Lockdown
Oh, they went for the moustache first, good choice. #Monsterdon
Every apartment building needs a Practical Lesbian
With Joshua in tow, Evil Sweater Man cuts the power and communication off for the building to try to evict everyone.
Meanwhile, dad is ambushed by fuzzballs who shoot spines at him, but rescued by Marsha the probable Butch Lesbian who he now has a crush on. She is armed with signal flares.
Oh nice, I had no idea Sigorney Weaver was in this film. #Monsterdon
Run, miss. That tempera paint was a warning. #Monsterdon
Annie trying to muster some fucks up for dead frank but it ain't happening
Grandpa saw it happen on Monsterdon
Back in the family flat, the daughter wants to hang out with the dad and do family things, but the dad just ignores her and watches TV. Then the TV explodes and the dad asks the daughter for her battery pack so he can watch TV.
The daughter wanders out and chats with the lady doing her laundry, who continues dropping laundry down the chute. The laundry lands on a fuzzball, who says "dessert" with subtitles then hops through the chute unnoticed.
this is such good #Monsterdon slop so far. which is not to say it's a good movie
THANK you. Jesus. #Monsterdon
....Please tell me Frank is not doing your laundry OH GOD HE IS D8 D8 D8 #Monsterdon
Yesssss, the misogynist landlord is the first to die! #Monsterdon
Characters in this #monsterdon so far, grouped by likability
likable:
daughter
son
weird forest guy
neither likable nor unlikable:
older boy (joshua)
dad (ambivalent likability)
unlikable:
guy in yellow
"Green."
No, puce. #Monsterdon
CRITTER POV SHOT
(It's the sound effects that really sell it. You can practically hear the slobber and puppetry.)
"It ain't me, it's them!"
Sure, that's what they all say. #Monsterdon
So the weird guy was riding his bicycle in 1984, then he saw a space ship and became a space bounty hunter and was fighting aliens or something. Then some monsters attacked everyone and I'm not sure what happened because this is probably a flashback for the other movies that I didn't see. Anyway some stuff explodes.
The older boy does not believe this story, because it sounds kind of made up.
Ah, so this recap is why there isn't any need to watch the first two Critters films before this one: they give you the sixty-second recap version right off the bat. Considerate!
this reminds me of that Mexican movie about the mummy and the robot, which was 90% recaps.
Previously on Critters.....? #monsterdon
SPOILER ALERT! #monsterdon
Sure they got Leo, but Mark Ordesky is the real headliner here. #Monsterdon
I hate to say it, but I kinda miss Evil Ed.
Charlie is better in this movie, but something is missing. I guess the extra henchmonsters around the vampire lady adds something new.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
Scenes can be filmed outdoors? With many extras? Critters 3 had me convinced movies can only be on tiny sets with a dozen people max. Counting the film crew.
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
wait... what's wrong with "low-grade melodramas"??!!??
"your boyfriend's gotta be a weenie, standing up a dynamite girl like you!"
a line I gotta use someday.
pal when your girl's thru with you for missing the concert, you're gonna WISH you were undead....
Nobody puts Charlie in a corner!
they better be listening to Bela Lugosi's Dead!
"Bowling for Vampires". A promising movie title!
@CactuarJoe @trixter she was just kinda phoning it in for the second half
@klu9 @moira it's such a classic 80s kids monster movie #Monsterdon #Gremlins2
@Taweret I want my money back! From 1991.
so coming back to fright night 2 after critters 3, what a perfect pairing of movies like "surely there is not enough for another there wasn't enough for one" #monsterdon
So apparently Critters 4 was filmed at the same time.
Wait. Roddy McDowell... Elvira...Are all horror hosts gay? Svengoolie is he... ya know a *horror host*?
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
the charlie scene during the credits shows they could have transitioned the series into some great campy sci fi but instead we got whatever that movie was lol
Trailer: Hey! It's that guy from the X-files! And the original Dr Strange movie with Jeffrey Combs
#Monsterdon #FrightNight2
Final thoughts: CRITTERS 3 is worth the price of admission, but it is certainly much worse than its predecessors. I would use the word "indulgent" to describe the writing.
I hope we do 4 as well sometime, despite this movie suggesting what we'd be in for. Certainly this was fun enough for me with the company of #Monsterdon.
Ugh, more like “The Critters Take One Building”. Were they trying to cash in on the success of “Home Alone”?
The caption “Now they’re ready to do some REAL damage” over a Critter tearing through a photo of a cityscape implies a *much* larger scope to the damage.
Bah, took me long enough!
this entire credits sequence for the 12 people that care about continuity #monsterdon
This credits sequence might as well be for a different movie.
Diamonds are for Lunch #Monsterdon
...From Russia with Leeks? #Monsterdon
@jonny we did it, we tied the gordian plot knot
"this is just like one of those westerns"
Far better movies than you haven't gotten away with an indulgent line like that, CRITTERS 3. You didn't earn it.
@jonny Only in a Hilbert space? #AgainWithTheMath #Monsterdon
Called it, the fire conveniently wiped away all the evidence, including Mr. Menges's detailed notes on the aliens.
Wilhelm screams in little parts
#monsterdon
I like how it explodes into 1000 fragments and continues to scream afterwards
#monsterdon
I guess they roll up the sidewalks in LA at 7 pm.
ZANTETSUGRANDMA #Monsterdon
I do like that Marcia is going to use Phone to solve some crucial problem in this movie. I hate this extended absence she's taken from the plot.
I guess they maybe couldn't figure out how to get her gag to line up with everybody else's and this is the fillter?
Chekhov’s fart bubbles
Marcia has been robbed of all autonomy
Called it, Chekovs bullet contraption
Didn't that "person/people on top of the elevator are worried about being crushed at the top of the shaft but the cross-brace stops its ascent and prevents the injury" gag crop up in Die Hard (1988) too?
lol, unexpected romance
poor Marcia....like some Classical torment for pissing off the gods...
that's right critters, get your ass george of the jungle'd by the redeemed town drunk turned interstellar bounty hunter deus ex machina! #monsterdon
An hour in is kind of late to establish that the Critters have an elaborate language and are intelligent (but stupid), movie.
Since when could they do THAT? #Monsterdon
What about Alien's Ripley? Didn't she wear a tank top at one point?
I'm going to lose sleep over this.
lol, the lungs on that critter....
I don't want to think how bad things are for Marcia's ankle
I do want Marsha to escape but I'm also heavily invested in the Critters' kitchen boobery
After escaping into the false ceiling, Joshua confesses that "we came to evict you" to the daughter then expresses that he's sad that his dad died. the daughter confesses that her mom died. While they have this moment, Joshua plays with his magic electric pen thing that the weird guy gave him.
Meanwhile, in accordance with prophecy, the critter that eats the beans inflates and then farts. One critter dumps flour on the other critters. The critters are having a great time.
Some day Men, you could be as useful and heroic and this Lesbian, but not today....
That basement was a fire code violation anyway...
2????
3 profit
HA! It is indeed Michener's "Space". Really an excellent book, I would strongly recommend it if you like space history, historical fiction, or both.
This movie has a weirdly high hit-rate for me noticing small details that aren't really deliberate choices but are things I recognize. That's the 90s for you (for me), I guess
(I wish the video store had the Blu-Ray version of this film: the blacks are pretty crushed in the dark scenes on this DVD version, it's a bit tough to make out details.)
@SnoopJ yeah there's clearly some character inspiration shall we say #monsterdon
Human characters in this #monsterdon, in declining order of usefulness:
Positive Usefulness
Marsha (MVP, so far)
Daughter
Laundry Lady
Grandma (pie producer, arsenal of freedom)
Grandpa (field medic)
Weird Forest Guy (crystal provider)
Dad
Joshua (older boy)
Son (has yet to use crystal much)
Negative Usefulness
Frank (RIP)
Evil Sweater Man (RIP)
at the halfway point we have fully established critter crisis mode and an unlikely band of tenant warriors, and yet have no UFOs dropping down to deliver crite bounty hunters. the only way through is to lean on the lore of the prior movies in the last 15 #monsterdon
Was that a copy of James Michener's "Space" lmfao
MONSTER CHOMP
"Let him go, he can't help being an asshole!"
(Lighting that basement with one of those dark red road flares seems like a terrible idea. Even in the open air the fumes from those things are nauseating, and the phosphorous light is more than bright enough to destroy your night vision.)
Whoops! CRITTER KILL: phosphorous road flare? I think?
@Taweret I do think that cutting in footage of Julia Child dressing a chicken is a pretty funny way to rob the audience of an on-screen kill, though.
After his dad berates him for being squeamish toward a cooking show that is somehow on a TV, Joshua decides his dad is a jerk and says he hates him, which the audience agrees with.
After he leaves, more fuzzballs ambush Evil Sweater Man and presumably eat him, which the audience approves of. Them Marsha appears to investigate, using her Signal Flare ability. She finds his corpse in a recliner, where a fuzzball is probably eating it.
Evil landlord is *really* insistent upon raising his child in the family business
*a cylindrical garbage can or cigarette ash tray or whatever is rolled down the stairs, intercut with championship bowling footage and accompanied by bowling-ball sound effects; four or five critters are smacked in slow motion and fly straight up into the air*
Leaning hard into the camp this time, I see. Well, we knew into what we were getting.