That was the beginning of the end of American trains. #Monsterdon

"Hi, I'm the woman who thought marrying a horrible monster landlord was totally fine."

#monsterdon #critters3

this movie is truly the kind of disaster that brings a family together.

#monsterdon

Charlie’s mole guy chic, or Leo’s t-shirt, not sure what’s worse

#Monsterdon #Critters3

Skewered Critter! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

And the Fire Department came and the survivors lived happily ever after!

Wait… Dad was an engineer?

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

#monsterdon

From the railroad to the phone company.. the dad's jourmey...

@gnomon oh that's true

It was all downhill since the beginning

#Monsterdon #Critters3

@georgieboy
Definitely terrible. Not a good bad movie. But definitely not even close to the worst movies I've seen. Not even remotely as bad as manos the hands of fate.

#monsterdon

[clutching my DVD box set] "I still have Critters 2. I can see a Critter Ball anytime I want! Shut up!" #monsterdon

Ratcheting up tension by going with the take where the prop gets stuck in the kid's pocket

#Monsterdon

"Normal like a movie?"

Girl, I have news for you. This movie is not normal.
#monsterdon

wait, he really was a railroad conductor?

#monsterdon

Now Charlie's gonna hop in his TARDIS and vanish. #Monsterdon #Critters3

emergency services must have taken a truly astonishing amount of time for it to be DAYLIGHT

#monsterdon

@ohiofi In #Monsterdon ? NEVER

#Monsterdon #Critters3

#Monsterdon 🦔 🦔 🦔 🌃 🏙️ 👦🩸😱!

She's out of Leo's league

Wow this movie is barely over 70 minutes long. Unless the post critter wrap up is overly drawn out.
#Monsterdon #Critters3

Awkward teen romance, ick flashbacks...

#Monsterdon

A movie. But not *this* movie. A good one. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

the final 8 minutes are all about finding leonardo dicaprio a dad #monsterdon

@gnomon movie physics is just different

#Monsterdon #Critters3

Mom’s a good wing woman.

#Monsterdon #Critters3

mom seems pretty alright, considering the fate of her at least second husband.

#monsterdon

Critters on the Barby tonight!
#Monsterdon

isn't she too old for leo?
#monsterdon

"mmm mmm, skewered crite's good eatin'"

#monsterdon

I know I'm not assessing the threat correctly, but all this drama of people possibly falling off a three(?) storey building seems like nothing

#Monsterdon

the soundtrack to this film has a very "afterschool special" vibe to it

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

THis is where they all get sued for destroying a building..

ugh the inevitable compulsory heterosexuality tweenage romance

#monsterdon

Every time a movie puts a character in peril by showing them hanging from a fire escape or flag pole or whatever, and the bolts gradually tear out of the wall until the character falls, I feel like people are being misinformed about how strong those connections actually are. Those bolts _hang on_.

#monsterdon

idk I've caught children from falling off buildings a bunch and this feels a little staged

#Monsterdon

So I realize I don’t actually have a rope handy in my day to day life.

People in movies have them, Sam has them in LOTR but me? Nope.

#Monsterdon #Critters3

It is the next day and the press is interviewing everyone involved in this arson / alien invasion. The daughter and Joshua agree to go on a date. The weird forest guy says bye to the son. The dad decides to switch his job from "railroad guy" to "phone company guy".

Then Joshua's mom appears and offers the family a relocation fee so they can stay somewhere while their apartment is rebuilt.

#monsterdon

So we just watch him fall and then he doesn't die. Great, real climactic tension here.

#Monsterdon

@brooke Ph, I thought you were going to say finger #Monsterdon

I feel like this could be titled Ernest vs. Critters with very little changes #Monsterdon

I still would love a critter plushie even after this one
#monsterdon

GD exploding tires.

#Monsterdon

You, uh

You got a little

a little uh

on your

...Nevermind.

#Monsterdon

Now BBQ it!

Critters are good eatin'!

#monsterdon #critt3rs #TheyAreNotGoodEating

Them's good eatin' and already on a rotisserie! #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

#Monsterdon That was a Goofy-esque scream

is that 30s clip of him finding the crite on his back on the antenna supposed to be... funny?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

MOMENTUM! LEARN HOW IT WORKS!!

@brooke well, Tommy's weight at least… #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

I, uh... well, I've been watching. I don't think this is the worst movie I've ever seen, but it's up there.

#monsterdon

Critters vs. Minions #monsterdon

Serious cartoon vibe from both the crite windup before charging and catching a flagpole on the way down. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

ROSIE!!! lol

#monsterdon #critters3

Be a real shame to lose Charlie #Monsterdon

Man would Literally rather save their child from falling off a building than go to therapy
#Monsterdon

This would be a good time for Cliff to finally be a good dad.

And there we go.

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

Dad, maybe try not to sound so surprised when you tell your kids you love them…

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

Damn, sis got some legendary reaction times.

#Monsterdon

Ok, useless dad to the rescue!
#monsterdon
#critters3

that's right THIS ENTIRE MOVIE was a setup for the moment of dangling Johnny over a firey drop, to be saved by Dad!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #critt3rs dad finally pulls his own weight

tweety bird's gonna be pecking at that flagpole any second now

#monsterdon #critt3rs

This movie and Sonic the Hedgehog were both released in '91. #Monsterdon #Critters3

When the Crite with the scare falls off the roof will his limbs extend like a badly proportioned marionette? Hans Criter
#Monsterdon #Critters3

there are like 5 other people on the roof, is no one-- ah. okay, good to know dad's good for something, at least. he doesn't get any points tho.

#monsterdon

Oh look Dad is finally good for something.

#monsterdon #critters3

Someone help me with this mysteriously greasy 40# child. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

The weird forest guy is not dead but is instead hanging from an awning pole that falls off. The family's RV breaks his fall and he stumbles away, encountering the butch lesbian who is still hanging from a wire. Also, weird forest guy has a critter impaled on his, um... antenna backpack thing. Then we hear sirens and emergency services appear.

#monsterdon

@holly
wikipedia voice:

Critters 3 (1991), widely acknowledged as being "a movie" ...

#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

  👾🩸 TRIVIA 3 🩸👾

"Terrence Mann" as "Ug" shows up in the end credits, but he does not have a scene until DURING the credits. The scene ties this movie to its sequel in 1992.

I'm concerned, though, that Tubi will cut the movie before that scene!

#Critters3

@mmezabet so, has been gun? #Monsterdon

They're aliens from the planet Explodium 9.
#monsterdon

~12 minutes left
#Monsterdon

11 more minutes to ball up. go! #monsterdon

Annie is wearing Kate Middleton's engagement ring

#Monsterdon #Critters3

so hero. much save. wow
#monsterdon

...how the hell is the crystal going to save them from the fire.

does this call up the original bounty hunters?

#monsterdon

OH GOD JOSH DIDN'T FINISH HIM

#monsterdon

Alexandria Cabot is still alive!

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs #JosieAndThePussycats

The bubbles after the cleavering… amazing. #Monsterdon #CrittersCrittersCritters #Critt3rs

through the fire and flames we critter on #monsterdon

Oh, pummeled crite is rebooting.

#monsterdon

this sure is a movie

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ@hachyderm.io Sure, but around here we support women's wrongs!

#Monsterdon #Critters3

#Monsterdon "It's just a flesh wound"

#Monsterdon 🦔 🦔 🦔 🌃 🏙️ 👦🩸😱!

When did Rosie take out the curlers and style her hair

#Monsterdon

Ooh. Fireworks!

@starkraving666 I don't think Leo went through puberty until he was like 20 which maybe explains some things I dunno #Monsterdon

Home Alone 2 did a building rooftop better. #Monsterdon #Critt3rs

stop yelling fire start yelling free beer

#monsterdon #critt3rs

#Monsterdon #critt3rs don't leave me hanging, marcia

They really threw away Marcia's character on a gaff, didn't they? #Monsterdon

Put away that uvula, sir, this is a family show!

#monsterdon #critters3

🎶 crite went off like a firework 🎶

#monsterdon

You all gave up on Charlie there a bit quick

#Monsterdon

Granny sure knows how to swing that cleaver! 🔪🫧
#Monsterdon #Critters3

Marcia gets all the awards in this movie.

#Monsterdon #Critters3

#Monsterdon 🦔 🦔 🦔 🌃 🏙️ 👦🩸😱!

🎶 🎶 Caught in a quilt 🎶 🎶
🎶 🎶 I can't chew out🎶 🎶
🎶 🎶 because I'm furry round and chompy🎶 🎶

Mrs. Menses is my hero!

#Monsterdon #Critt3rs

Never underestimate your grandmother's knife skills

#Monsterdon

@hollie @diazona I was told there'd be no math? #Monsterdon (maybe that was there'd be no pants? #checksnotes