MONSTER CHOMP one cyclist down :( :( :(

At least it was a horrifying bog monster from beyond the horizon of time and not a pickup truck

#monsterdon

Watching two old dudes in a rowing boat, I feel like they should have a little dog with them....

#Monsterdon

Oh garn, I though it was going to be Girl strippin' time

#monsterdon

Yeah, it's a terrible and ancient monster beyond human comprehension. Sort of. I really want this to be a better movie now.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

@SnoopJ I will never stop being mad about the ending of that book, which I read in 1994.

#monsterdon #bog1979

#monsterdon No vegetable.. yin and yang, positive and negative, dogs and cats living together..

Fun fact: Since the 70's we have discovered that there are things other than animals, minerals, and vegetables

#Monsterdon

Don't bring mucus into this!
#monsterdon

The Other Guy read the script and bowed out. wise. #monsterdon

It’s the powerhouse of the cell!!! #monsterdon #bog1979

@Ranjit @Taweret #monsterdon Nah, it's pretty cool so far.

*pulls up a periodic table*

Wait, those *are* group 6 elements!

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

*Vague Science-y Words

#Monsterdon

It's nice that they were able to rent the high school biology classroom for this scene. #Monsterdon

After getting a bunch of people killed trying to dynamite a small ecosystem, Mr. Garibaldi gets on the phone and asks the Cop Distribution System to send more cops to look for all the bodies.

The second head cop asks "What do we tell the Gentry?" which a term I thought that only 19th century British people used to describe rich people.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon you know I do kind of want to see the version of Bog (1979) set in the Regency Period. Doesn't even have to be an Austen fanfic it would just be fascinating

I love how these isolated hamlets have fully-equipped bio labs in these films

#monsterdon

The Hag Shack is a little old place where we can get together ...

#Monsterdon #Bog

The Gentry live on the rich side of the lake.

#Monsterdon

Speaking of bog… I’m really getting bogged down in all the science.

But hey… I’m learning SO much.

#Monsterdon

Too bad this movie doesn't have the budget for a bigger gun subplot.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

ok now kill all the cops

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Looks like these guys are getting pretty bogged down. #monsterdon

Loving the cop reacting to a man's greasily death, but not actually helping him

Authentic

#Monsterdon

Explosive placed in lake surrounded by hardwood trees. Detonates in open lake surrounded by conifers.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon I know there's a lot of movie left but I'm finding this (minus the sex) genuinely enjoyable. i know that's because I'm livetooting while we simul-watch but I felt like saying it all the same

All the withered old hillbilly women I know love to recite beatnik poetry

#monsterdon

Oooo I hope they're dead :D #Monsterdon

wait ... that was IT?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon You could try the "Potassium and Cyanide" solution from another movie..

#monsterdon needs to collaborate on writing a better movie about a bog monster.

Ah yes, the wonderful days before environmental impact statements >_> #Monsterdon

After six hours of kissing, the hat boys, now unhatted are yelling at the Science Lady and her fiancee and/or boyfriend, who I will call the Science Gentleman. We get nothing from this scene, as with most scenes in this movie.

After that they go to yell at the lead cop, who says he's gonna blow up the lake with explosives. The Science Lady says this is a dumb idea and they should be cautious, which makes the hat boys mad.

#monsterdon

RDX MENTIONED

#Monsterdon

"We haven't the foggiest idea what thing is, what it looks like, or how to knock it the hell out!"

Come on, "the boggiest idea" was _right there_

#monsterdon

Did she just fake an orgasm? #Monsterdon

You know who else sleeps at the bottom, always dreaming kids?...that's right, CTHULHU!!!!

#Monsterdon

Man, these two. Not since Barbara Hale and Doughy Guy in The Giant Spider Invasion. #Monsterdon

You've heard of shaky cam, now get ready for bouncy cam

(it looks like a mechanical problem)

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Okay petition to name the Bog Monster Boggie to promote tourism and lake science.

Take THAT Loch Ness 😏

@MylesRyden I am so uncomfortable from a scene in which everyone kept their clothes on, and yet still.... #Monsterdon

This scene was sponsored by aspercreme #monsterdon

This scene really needed THe Captain and Tennille's Muskrat Love. #Monsterdon

After work, the lead cop, who I am calling "Mr. Garibaldi", is at a 70s trailer drinking party with the Science Lady and another guy who wants to shack up with the Science Lady. I guess she's a widow for a while and so he proposes and they kiss, triggering a candidate for the most annoying overblown music so far.

#monsterdon

Poor Gloria De Haven

She must've really needed a job.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

Now I have to watch geriatric sex? This IS a horror movie. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Look I'm not saying you have a period of mourning where no one fucks because of the Bog Monster and Bog Witch but... you didn't even create an atmosphere. You basically went "Yeah yeah giant bugs You're hot and single are you ready to mingle?"

Now we get a 68 year old man fuck a 55 year old woman

#monsterdon

i don't need to this romance scene

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I think the "Walk with me" song exists outside of this movie..

Some of y'all are hypodeemic nerdles

#Monsterdon

I would! I would believe the old hag of the woods!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon I think there's a reason we don't have giant insects and I think it has something to do with gravity or oxygen or something. I read something about it years ago and I simply don't remember the details because I was like 13

Hypodeemic Nerdle -- love it!

#monsterdon

Did they just improvise the sheriff getting the line wrong as being drunk?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

So Huck Finn takes the Hat Boys to a cave witch to learn the secrets of the bog. The witch, who looks and sounds exactly like you'd expect, uses her spooky voice to explain that the bog has a monster that like to drink blood and then take naps, but recently people have been disturbing its naps so it needs to drink more blood I guess.

It has a bunch of names that I forgot, but also, like most of us it sleeps in the bog slime.

#monsterdon

#TeamBogWitch

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

these guys are asking her questions like rpg protagonists going down a dialogue tree list lmao

#monsterdon

Well, technically she is a Swamp Witch but anyway

#monsterdon

My headcanon for this #monsterdon is that the science lady is a secret would-be monsterfucker with a manila folder labelled "Werewolf Stories" and another one labelled "Hot Draculas KEEP OUT" and a third one labelled "Sultry Mothmen", and that's why when these Bog Murders happen she goes immediately to "OMG it cant be human it must be a swamp monster! Maybe even a hot dracula!?"

24 years old. This is what happens from smoking Camels. #monsterdon

This is Marjorie Taylor Greene, she knows everything....

#monsterdon

having her dialogue be so ADRed would almost be cool if it was on purpose. #monsterdon

Is the 'gun store' the social nexus of this town?

Like how other cultures have a pub or cafe?

#Monsterdon

"Mosquitos around here big enough to carry my gun" I fucking love that line. #monsterdon

Oh damn. I didn't realize I should have started a beer counter earlier. We must have hit two six packs already.
#Monsterdon #Bog

Now don't you boys give Mikey no matches. #Monsterdon

It's a giant mosquito, isn't it? #Monsterdon

"Do you have any idea what you're implying" people usually know what they're implying, Frank, that's kind of the whole idea

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

A Bog Dracula, a common occurrence #monsterdon #bog1979

...what in the fucking

why are we being assaulted by Hong Kong Fooey-voice here :/ #Monsterdon

Stop besmirching whales! 😤

#monsterdon

that was quite the death scream LOL #monsterdon

Careful, you'll shoot your eye out.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

A DRACULA

YES

#monsterdon #Bog1979

Please be giant mosquitoes

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

We get a sequence that goes on for a while of dudes in cowboy hats, assisted by park rangers searching the woods. Eventually the music changes from "Lofi Beats" to "OMG Dramatic Music" and they find three naked bodies of the three monster victims. Then the scene cuts to a cop debriefing.

#monsterdon

I like how the dead broads aren't mutilated

#monsterdon

Oh they were their wives?!

#Monsterdon

In a sequence I was not paying attention to, the headband girl screams, leading the boat couple to come to their investigation, and then both girls were eaten by an unseen monster, but the boys escaped I guess, dooming us to spend the rest of the movie with them.

In the next scene, the boys are a cop station and the cops are like "yo sorry your wives missing, we'll do a search" and then casually mention the missing guy who does the dynamite fishing.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Middle Eastern refrains mixed in with random musical gibberish..

@trixter The record to beat is before the movie even starts, so....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon law enforcement actually on a missing persons case

No budget for the rubber suit or limited rental time? #monsterdon

Two creepy men went out into the woods with two women, come back and say 'a monster killed them'......the Patriarchy utterly believes this story of course.

#Monsterdon

@diazona #monsterdon
Priorities.

Nothing like going camping with your spouse when you hate camping and your spouse. #Monsterdon

The characters in this movie keep repeating their names to each other via their gendered complaining, in what is an obvious plot to trick me into remembering their names.

#monsterdon

Are we supposed to.....care?

#monsterdon #bog

Oh my, is that an attempt at a monsters paw on the ladies leg?

I'm going to need more weed for this...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon You're gonna take both me AND my mother out to dinner. This is rare to hear a woman say, but okay..

It feels like I've been watching this for a half an hour. This is gonna be brutal. #monsterdon

"I'll take you out into the lake and then....y'know...the 'implication'....."

#Monsterdon

Was there some kind of joke there? With the green sleeping bag/brown sleeping bag? Does anybody get it?

#monsterdon

"Ask me no questions, slave person," hahahaha dude you're totally dying first

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

#Monsterdon

Costume department didn't age these clothes at all.

#Monsterdon 👮 👨‍⚕️ 🏊‍♀️ 🐉 😱

oh no the 'battle of the sexes' vibe ick

Lake Exposition Man

#Monsterdon

Mario and Luigi and their wives on vacation?
#Monsterdon #Bog