First a blood scent generator, now a blood affinity. All so commonplace.

#Monsterdon

SIX MINUTES

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

The bog monster likes Matures....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon did the leaded gas just make everyone hornier (and bigger assholes) in the 70s?

is this monster and it's babies about to eat Temu Barbara Hale? >:[ #monsterdon

#Monsterdon okay so injecting the blood is about making you closer genetically for reproductive purposes but also is an aphrodisiac? Is this movie about goddamn SEX POLLEN

Go ahead and leave her alone with the creature. It’ll be fine since you’ve subdued the creature with a hairnet. #monsterdon

@jonny
Somebody had already paid for use of the sea plane? 🤷‍♂️

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

oh I am scowling at this movie *so fucking hard* #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Are we about to get a chemistry lesson on the blood? All of the other elements of the Periodic Table that they haven't mentioned..

BOG WITCH LORE

#Monsterdon

Shout out to my new favorite character, Lake Seaplane. Fuck yeah I love a good surprise seaplane.

#monsterdon

ah, what a vital scene... a bunch of middle aged white guys re-explaining what one of them is doing here. #monsterdon

Trying to bukkake the monster to death. #Monsterdon

lol, @ Neil's eulogy as his comedy corpse is carried away

gotta appreciate how this film kills off so many characters though...

#Monsterdon

"I miss him so much"

"Yea, I know..."

#Monsterdon

Ah that's right. The chemical complexity of an organism determines how difficult it is to capture.

#Monsterdon

Oh my goodness gracious, what a majestic rubber suit monster advance-and-flail manoeuvre

They should have sent a poet

#monsterdon

How does this movie still have 18 minutes?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

The music is far more exciting than the actual thing happening

#monsterdon

Guys... guys... a man sized humanoid looking bog creature with a mouth probus and giant claws for hands snuck into the police station and stole its eggs back out of the science lab.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

Oh, the monster *really* does sound like a woodchipper.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

HAHA YES, timestamp 1:06:00 or so for monster suit

#Monsterdon

Finally, we see the expensive suit! Not looking expensive, if I'm being honest. #monsterdon

oh wow, he was on screen for like 5 full seconds, good for him! #monsterdon

The bog monster has a bigfoot blur field?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

What is this incidental piano smooth jazz in the gun shop scene! #monsterdon #bog1979

@strangefour @Taweret Maybe we filled our monster quota for the year with Final Wars. #monsterdon

"This plan's going well" says goon working for The Sherriff who will *definitely* survive this movie

#Monsterdon

What happened to bog witch?

#monsterdon

why didn't they give her this red suit the whole time, her character immediately becomes the main character #monsterdon

@Taweret The eternal motto of #Monsterdon

The Science Lady's plan is to make a machine that smells like blood and use it to lure the monster into a trap. The Science Gentleman's plan is to make out with the Science Lady a lot.

#monsterdon

Yay! A Hunting Party ✅

#monsterdon

"It should be hungry by now..."

Why?? It has been Kirby'ing the blood out of people literally all day!!

#monsterdon

The monster suit was super expensive to rent, folks. The Director's mom was never going to pay for extended scenes. You folks need to practice a little empathy. #monsterdon

Like every late 70s film message:

God bless the gun shop, it will end this horrible movie once and for all!

#monsterdon

[dramatic piano ballad] I'm gonna shoot the monster to death!

#Monsterdon

Why do they have scuba gear and snorkel? #monsterdon #bog1979

Some of these are dicey, but calling it bingo.

#monsterdon

Quoth @k8eb: "hey, do you think the writers of this film know what a bog is?"

#monsterdon

Glacial lake? More like glacial pace

#Monsterdon

I feel like the extended sequences are the scriptwriter's personal fascinations pasted together around the concept of "lake monster"

Person who likes science generally, biology specifically, maybe second interest in geology, and SCUBA diving

#Monsterdon

The pace of this film is getting a little bogged down

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon They paid for an underwater camera, so by god they're going to USE it!

Hi #monsterdon what's your favorite genre of scene in this movie?

"Every time I look out at those bogs, at those glacial lakes [...]" literally the opposite of each other there doc

#monsterdon

"We couldn't decide what form the bog monster should take so we just decided it should be 'all things' " - the Writers

#Monsterdon

Those two kids slow-rolling through the police blockade on their bogcycles are about to have a very plot-advancing misadventure

#monsterdon

Mucus producing shells with a crystal shape. Ok normally the science in these movies doesn't bother me this much, but they are trying so hard and failing in such weird ways in this movie...

#Monsterdon

@ax6761

Crystal Claw, my new band

#Monsterdon

WISCONSIN'S FINEST ON FULL ALERT #Monsterdon

why does everyone talk like they just drank a quart of cough syrup at like 65% speed and intonation #monsterdon

The science lady and science gentleman conclude that the monster has tungsten in it, probably in its pointy bit I think. There's a neat bit where the science lady quizzes the science gentleman, who tries to remember a column on the periodic table, mostly successfully.

Also, I find the high school science lab discussion more amusing than most of this movie.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I like a good car intro scene..

Actual surprise at the kiss at the end, , maybe the previous night wasn't a mistake...

...but it also means one of them will die, at least

The Bog hates Heterosexual relationships

#Monsterdon

Sheriff calling in more people to help him make the situation worse. It’s like he’s on a mission. #monsterdon

Oh man oh man oh man maybe the bog monster _is_ a mosquito, this could be amazing

#monsterdon

Maybe with 4+ people dead you should call for outside help? Maybe?

#Monsterdon

Corky just got ate

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Well we destroyed a local ecosystem, Job Well Done

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

These guys've been drinking round the clock for 3 days and haven't changed clothes. They gotta be smelling worse than the bog at this point

#monsterdon

Also this movie is making me like the 70s less. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Just say the words, lady! "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

are you telling me that _any_ of these people went to medical school?

#monsterdon #Bog1979

#monsterdon They dwell on this waaaay too long. Boomers... Ew.

lol, oh they're not a couple already?

Oh my, this was unexpected.......and unwelcome

I just picture the director and film crew watching this in silence....

#Monsterdon

Oh thank goodness, the dulcet tones of Pat Hopkins singing "Walk With Me" are now diegetic background music. I was worried we would only hear it during the credits. Relief!

#monsterdon

If you aren't cringing now, something is wrong with you

#monsterdon

"You've been a widow for 6 years. I'd like to change that"

Are you proposing marriage before you've even kissed her? Bold move there...

#Monsterdon

"What kind of a monster would have a hypodermic needle for a mouth?"

Is... is the bog monster a giant mosquito??

Or a weevil?!?!?

#monsterdon

Time for your romantic interlude

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Hypodemic nerdle.

The bog monster cometh

Just a peek

#Monsterdon

This is my hillbilly opium den, have a seat

#monsterdon

#monsterdon There are some who call me... Adriana.. Hail, Adriana the Enchantress!

crackly audio really working with this old medium lady #monsterdon

Crad?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Bog witch!!

A baba yaga? In the US?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

The son of Jarjar Binks and Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel just turned up #Monsterdon

@RamenCatholic Dracula, prisoner of Bog monster #Monsterdon

In the next scene the dumb boys are buying a gun in a gun store and are mad that the guns laws exist so they can't sell the guns to these out of state weirdos; but then a surprise character who walked off the set of a Huck Finn sequel appears out of the void to offer to hook them up with more munitions.

#monsterdon

Ah yes, the medical examiner's office that doubles as a high school science classroom!

(I saw a buret go by, who uses burets for anything anymore...)

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

I think the coroner/autopsy person walked over from the set of Quincy or something #Monsterdon

#monsterdon A chemistry knitting on the wall...

Why does this feel like it was meant to be a sequel to The Giant Spider Invasion?
#Monsterdon #Bog

@catzilla I like her. She's open to possibilities. She's still researching even after the initial autopsy. #Monsterdon #Bog

Eric Roberts has over 700 credits in his acting career. One of the most prolific actors ever. He wasn't in this.

#monsterdon

Oh wait, the cops have a Science Lady on staff who explains the Bog Murder better... like a needle or something stabbed an artery the victims and siphoned their blood out.

She then suggests to the chief cop that maybe this is a Dracula. She actually says "Could we have a Dracula running loose out there?". Then in another scene a something or other kills a cop.

#monsterdon

You know. A Dracula.

#monsterdon #bog1979

At the cop conference, the exposition explains that it looked like the bodies were being prepared for embalming and we're not sure why and also we're not sure how they were killed, there wasn't like a puncture wound.

Next, the two hat boys from before are trying to see their wives' bodies but the cops won't let them. Also, the head cop is unhappy that a Bog Murder happened and also that it happened in his jurisdiction.

#monsterdon

Ah yes, Bog Dracula (1979) #Monsterdon

"We could have a Dracula running loose!"

*Things that are definitely real

#Monsterdon

"Two young lives, wasted like that!"

Yeah, being in this film was totally avoidable. #Monsterdon

Well the search party was successful...
In a normal world these two guys would be up on murder charges. But it feels like they are gonna vanish and we are going to spend the rest of the movie in the sheriff's office.
#Monsterdon #Bog

Oh noooooooo, bog bodies

#monsterdon

So now our disgusting hunters vanish from the film and leave us with the porky cops, right? I'd almost prefer that. #Monsterdon

Used to be any idiot could buy dynamite. They don't let you do that anymore

#monsterdon