"I miss him so much"

"Yea, I know..."

#Monsterdon

Ah that's right. The chemical complexity of an organism determines how difficult it is to capture.

#Monsterdon

The music is far more exciting than the actual thing happening

#monsterdon

Guys... guys... a man sized humanoid looking bog creature with a mouth probus and giant claws for hands snuck into the police station and stole its eggs back out of the science lab.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

Oh, the monster *really* does sound like a woodchipper.

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

HAHA YES, timestamp 1:06:00 or so for monster suit

#Monsterdon

Finally, we see the expensive suit! Not looking expensive, if I'm being honest. #monsterdon

oh wow, he was on screen for like 5 full seconds, good for him! #monsterdon

The bog monster has a bigfoot blur field?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

What is this incidental piano smooth jazz in the gun shop scene! #monsterdon #bog1979

@strangefour @Taweret Maybe we filled our monster quota for the year with Final Wars. #monsterdon

"This plan's going well" says goon working for The Sherriff who will *definitely* survive this movie

#Monsterdon

What happened to bog witch?

#monsterdon

why didn't they give her this red suit the whole time, her character immediately becomes the main character #monsterdon

@Taweret The eternal motto of #Monsterdon

The Science Lady's plan is to make a machine that smells like blood and use it to lure the monster into a trap. The Science Gentleman's plan is to make out with the Science Lady a lot.

#monsterdon

Yay! A Hunting Party ✅

#monsterdon

"It should be hungry by now..."

Why?? It has been Kirby'ing the blood out of people literally all day!!

#monsterdon

The monster suit was super expensive to rent, folks. The Director's mom was never going to pay for extended scenes. You folks need to practice a little empathy. #monsterdon

Like every late 70s film message:

God bless the gun shop, it will end this horrible movie once and for all!

#monsterdon

[dramatic piano ballad] I'm gonna shoot the monster to death!

#Monsterdon

Why do they have scuba gear and snorkel? #monsterdon #bog1979

Some of these are dicey, but calling it bingo.

#monsterdon

Quoth @k8eb: "hey, do you think the writers of this film know what a bog is?"

#monsterdon

Glacial lake? More like glacial pace

#Monsterdon

I feel like the extended sequences are the scriptwriter's personal fascinations pasted together around the concept of "lake monster"

Person who likes science generally, biology specifically, maybe second interest in geology, and SCUBA diving

#Monsterdon

The pace of this film is getting a little bogged down

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon They paid for an underwater camera, so by god they're going to USE it!

Hi #monsterdon what's your favorite genre of scene in this movie?

"We couldn't decide what form the bog monster should take so we just decided it should be 'all things' " - the Writers

#Monsterdon

Those two kids slow-rolling through the police blockade on their bogcycles are about to have a very plot-advancing misadventure

#monsterdon

Mucus producing shells with a crystal shape. Ok normally the science in these movies doesn't bother me this much, but they are trying so hard and failing in such weird ways in this movie...

#Monsterdon

@ax6761

Crystal Claw, my new band

#Monsterdon

WISCONSIN'S FINEST ON FULL ALERT #Monsterdon

why does everyone talk like they just drank a quart of cough syrup at like 65% speed and intonation #monsterdon

The science lady and science gentleman conclude that the monster has tungsten in it, probably in its pointy bit I think. There's a neat bit where the science lady quizzes the science gentleman, who tries to remember a column on the periodic table, mostly successfully.

Also, I find the high school science lab discussion more amusing than most of this movie.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I like a good car intro scene..

Actual surprise at the kiss at the end, , maybe the previous night wasn't a mistake...

...but it also means one of them will die, at least

The Bog hates Heterosexual relationships

#Monsterdon

Maybe with 4+ people dead you should call for outside help? Maybe?

#Monsterdon

The sheriff is going to detonate a block of RDX in the lake on the premise that it'll kill anything alive in the water, including whatever killed Macweeny and the two women at the beginning of the film, and then he and his deputy are just going to drive away without waiting for the killer creature to float to the surface as they were certain was going to happen!? That just doesn't make sense.

Also chomp chomp chomp, looks like three more folks got bogulated I think

#monsterdon

Corky just got ate

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Well we destroyed a local ecosystem, Job Well Done

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

These guys've been drinking round the clock for 3 days and haven't changed clothes. They gotta be smelling worse than the bog at this point

#monsterdon

Also this movie is making me like the 70s less. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Just say the words, lady! "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

are you telling me that _any_ of these people went to medical school?

#monsterdon #Bog1979

#monsterdon They dwell on this waaaay too long. Boomers... Ew.

lol, oh they're not a couple already?

Oh my, this was unexpected.......and unwelcome

I just picture the director and film crew watching this in silence....

#Monsterdon

Oh thank goodness, the dulcet tones of Pat Hopkins singing "Walk With Me" are now diegetic background music. I was worried we would only hear it during the credits. Relief!

#monsterdon

If you aren't cringing now, something is wrong with you

#monsterdon

"You've been a widow for 6 years. I'd like to change that"

Are you proposing marriage before you've even kissed her? Bold move there...

#Monsterdon

Time for your romantic interlude

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Hypodemic nerdle.

The bog witch is awesome. Not as much fun as Aughra from Dark Crystal, but still awesome.

#monsterdon

The bog monster cometh

Just a peek

#Monsterdon

This is my hillbilly opium den, have a seat

#monsterdon

#monsterdon There are some who call me... Adriana.. Hail, Adriana the Enchantress!

crackly audio really working with this old medium lady #monsterdon

Crad?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Bog witch!!

A baba yaga? In the US?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

The son of Jarjar Binks and Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel just turned up #Monsterdon

@RamenCatholic Dracula, prisoner of Bog monster #Monsterdon

In the next scene the dumb boys are buying a gun in a gun store and are mad that the guns laws exist so they can't sell the guns to these out of state weirdos; but then a surprise character who walked off the set of a Huck Finn sequel appears out of the void to offer to hook them up with more munitions.

#monsterdon

Ah yes, the medical examiner's office that doubles as a high school science classroom!

(I saw a buret go by, who uses burets for anything anymore...)

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

I think the coroner/autopsy person walked over from the set of Quincy or something #Monsterdon

#monsterdon A chemistry knitting on the wall...

Why does this feel like it was meant to be a sequel to The Giant Spider Invasion?
#Monsterdon #Bog

@catzilla I like her. She's open to possibilities. She's still researching even after the initial autopsy. #Monsterdon #Bog

Oh wait, the cops have a Science Lady on staff who explains the Bog Murder better... like a needle or something stabbed an artery the victims and siphoned their blood out.

She then suggests to the chief cop that maybe this is a Dracula. She actually says "Could we have a Dracula running loose out there?". Then in another scene a something or other kills a cop.

#monsterdon

You know. A Dracula.

#monsterdon #bog1979

Ah yes, Bog Dracula (1979) #Monsterdon

"We could have a Dracula running loose!"

*Things that are definitely real

#Monsterdon

"Two young lives, wasted like that!"

Yeah, being in this film was totally avoidable. #Monsterdon

Well the search party was successful...
In a normal world these two guys would be up on murder charges. But it feels like they are gonna vanish and we are going to spend the rest of the movie in the sheriff's office.
#Monsterdon #Bog

Oh noooooooo, bog bodies

#monsterdon

So now our disgusting hunters vanish from the film and leave us with the porky cops, right? I'd almost prefer that. #Monsterdon

Used to be any idiot could buy dynamite. They don't let you do that anymore

#monsterdon

The bog prepares bodies for embalming? That's pretty advanced technology for a bog

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

Dupont lure? Well that's an obtuse old euphamism I've never heard before.
#Monsterdon #Bog

Green Acres is the place to be~
Farm livin` is the life for me~
#Monsterdon #Bog

Whoever wrote this screenplay seems to really hate women, eh?

MONSTER CHOMP PART DEUX

Oh no, looks like May is being bogchomped! Presumably for the narrative crime of condemning her husband to take her and her mother out for dinner once they get through this weekend fishing trip she didn't want to attend?

MONSTER CHOMP PART THREE

Man, we're going to run out of odious protagonists in a hot second at this rate.

#monsterdon

Okay, I'm trying to figure out the character's motivations. They are horny. And also dumb. The girls may be less horny but are also more grouchy at being outside in the woods.

#monsterdon

That's your grandparents, Joel. #Monsterdon

The comparisons with “Frogs” seem inevitable. #monsterdon

The opening credits for this #monsterdon show footage of a station wagon driving through rural america and eventually the woods as a lovey dovey song plays in the background.

The station wagon, which I will call the mystery machine, although I presume it is more heterosexual, disgorges its passengers at a lake for a camping/fishing trip. Passengers include hat guy, other hat guy, headband girl and headbandless girl. They exchange the Ritualized Gender Complaints.

Well this film is starting off strong with four unpleasant characters that I think none of us would be bothered to see be eaten by a bog. Or in a bog. ..."bothered to see be bogged down", I guess is what I'm getting at here.

bog bog bog bog bog

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Dude just mentioned incest.. holy shit!

...Are they dead yet? #Monsterdon

I find it interesting that the fisher guy didn't have a motor on his boat (to be quiet I guess, like going gigging for frogs), but was also fishing with explosives (which are extremely loud).

#monsterdon

My money's on tank top to survive

#monsterdon

This rip from VHS on archive.org is really blurry. But I guess so was VHS...

Oh wow, soundtrack with lyrics! The music somehow already reminds me of the Star Wars Christmas Special™️

#Monsterdon

What a lazy ass way to fish. DUDE. #monsterdon

This intro is the best part of the movie. All downhill from here

#monsterdon

I hope the explosives redneck gets it first....

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb @strangefour Rosemary's Baby? Though that might have to be a "too good for monsterdon palate cleanser movie".

Also I'm not sure I'd be able to sleep afterwards.

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou @strangefour I have heard that the Shape of Water is a movie where a woman has sex with a fish, but we never see the fish's penis, which seems to me like they did not fully commit to their premise. #monsterdon

@SordidAmok A whole month of bog witches for the sick perverts that we are on Monsterdon!

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb @strangefour I haven't either, but that's the general impression I got, the relationship is not antagonistic for once...

#Monsterdon