cannibal fish would eat fish, no?

#Monsterdon

Why isn't the pimp dead yet? 😐

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

the flip?

someone comes up to you with a white guy perm, shirt unbuttoned all the way and says 'Hey, sweetheart, you got a light?' you are legally and morally obligated to hit them with the garden hose

#Monsterdon

styrene? everywhere, the ocean's flooded with it

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🧜‍♀️ TRIVIA WITH FINS 💀

After production, the director was sorry for the many underwater scenes because he felt like they made it look like the film was in slow motion.

#BeyondAtlantis

"we'll drape this completely unweighted net on them in the midst of the act!"

#Monsterdon

more clam cinematography

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

BORED ALREADY

#monsterdon

"Love Theme From Beyond Atlantis" #monsterdon

the movie so unsexy that even the actor can't get it up. that wetsuit is 100% bulge-free

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Wow they put fake flowers underwater.

#Monsterdon

I mean the fish are pretty and all but they've really lost track of the plot now....

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow Sexual Theremin, the first draft by Marvin Gaye. #Monsterdon

@Louisa it's the natural stringing holes that make these pearls worth $150,000

#monsterdon

There's not going to be much in the way of successful mating while he's in a full wetsuit, y'know.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Yabbut they have to do it like salmon! that's no fu... LIKE SALMON! #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai Oh, you mean real drama (with the choice)! That would be nice.

#Monsterdon

look, lady, just drop your eggs then slit his vas deferens open and let the magic of biology do its job! if he dies, he dies!

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Wow! Someone thoughtfully pre-drilled stringing holes in all the pearls they just found!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon damnit! i forgot to download the bingo card

Sexy theremin #Monsterdon

"Let's go back underwater.....for Laz, and all the people of Mastodon"

*Slow jazz funk melody for 14 minutes while underwater acrobatics goes on

#Monsterdon

The saw is a helluva instrument... theremin?

#Monsterdon

no, mr. bond, I expect you to mate

#Monsterdon

Someone is coming back to the surface with lipstick on their mask that's hard to explain.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

@amyfou Yeah that doesn't seem like an "I'm okay" kind of injury.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon The foley guy also was blackmailing the director.

Personally I'm hoping for fuck AND die. #Monsterdon

so, that was the opposite of sex on the beach, obviously

#monsterdon

if I met 70s people irl I would turn the hose on them

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

but if he ruptured his eardrums that would hurt and he wouldn't be OK

"well it looks like it's you and me" and we all come together

that's what your father wants, isn't it?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

This is an underwater Easter egg hunt and Syrene is the Easter Bunny.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Also his beard popped-off
#monsterdon

I think this film was an excuse to write off scuba gear and a tropic vacation as a business expense. #Monsterdon

How was there not a content warning for man beating his daughter across the face repeatedly and shouting "You. Will. Mate!" over and over?????????????? #Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

But she was told not to love, only to mate, so that guy's perfect. Dad couldn't have spelled it out any clearer #monsterdon

one last dive

for a "pearl"

yes this is the joke you think it is

#monsterdon

"Minoans lived on an island that sank into the sea"

Ah yes, Crete. You know, Crete, which is still around above water and a ton of non-merpeople live there

#Monsterdon

Damn. Patriarchy, much?
#monsterdon

The jazziest swimming trunks. #monsterdon

wha

why the beatings the fuck is this #monsterdon

Actually thinking fondly of the cock fighting scene at the moment.

#Monsterdon

@amyfou On the bright side, it decreases the amount of awkward dialogue coming out of their mouths #monsterdon

The shape ofwater #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Scientist has Gal Godot acting talent..

#monsterdon Now all the local fish will taste like bakelite and hot plastic.

@Bluedepth oh that was such a great video, I was even thinking about it earlier today

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon uh-oh the merguys are coming for the guy’s tank. se jodió.

The more this movie goes on, the more I'm convinced the soundtrack composer had some kind of blackmail on the director. #monsterdon

70s trumpet take me away from this new horrific scene of white people swimming.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

It's like they cloned a Ken Doll with Russ Tamblyn

#monsterdon

@yatsu They wanted to do another underwater scene, and this was the quickest way there. #monsterdon

whoa, good-trumpet jump scare

#Monsterdon

@amyfou@lingo.lol fucking off into the sea like an embarrassed Godzilla

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

@RamenCatholic hang on, here comes another scene.....

*Inhales

#Monsterdon

so we're going with sleeze ball and the scientist instead??? really, movie? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

Dr whats your name NOONONONONONO

@CactuarJoe It's like the date rule, right? On the third scene together they have to mate?

#Monsterdon

Men always cockblocking themselves

#monsterdon

30 more minutes ⊙_⊙ #monsterdon

@Lazarou lol we're twinsies.
#Monsterdon

oh god they're trying to love triangle this trainwreck. #monsterdon

"Stay therrrrRRRE. stAY therrre."

ACTING

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🕜 30 MINUTE POLL CORRECT ANSWER

Our feature was supposed to rip-off
Treasure of the Sierra Madre

How is it doing? 😆

#monsterdon WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT!

@Lazarou Nah, wires are uncomfortable and I've got sensitive skin #monsterdon

Sirene, Sirene, Sirene, Sireeeene
Are you even the same species as that man

#monsterdon

That's the dumbest man alive #Monsterdon

sure, baby, whatever turns you on

#monsterdon

Bet ya on land, they understand,
and they don’t reprimand their daughters…

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@Zerofactorial you saying West Eddie got to me? You wearin' a wire buddy?! 😉 #Monsterdon

did a 1970s white man just turn down an attractive lady in a bikini? on screen??? for moral reasons??? #monsterdon

OH IT'S COLD AND LONELY IN THE DEEP DARK NIGHT #monsterdon

Me love you long time, baby. #Monsterdon

Atlantis = Island of Exceptionally Bright White Socks

#monsterdon

Dads are always reverse-slut-shaming their daughters #monsterdon

Keep me safe from harm? Keep me dry and warm?

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

pearl fever rears its ugly head
#monsterdon

is this

Paradise By The Dashboard Light?

#monsterdon

Trad Magyar shirt what?

#Monsterdon

be a woman

not just a coconut for survival

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

I have some things I must ask you. What is your sperm count?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

I'm confused by this plot

@SRLevine "sea"prate species? I see what you (possibly unintentionally) did there

Actually TBH I'm not sure I see what you did there but it was funny

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ It's really up to your imagination

#monsterdon

I sort of want to go on a tangent about a goose and a duck and a candlelit dinner, but I'm not sure how to get a good joke out of the bit...

#Monsterdon

can't decide from one cut to another if it's night-time

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou Then West Eddie will move in and consolidate his grip on the wharf #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

this guy is very certain about his pearl valuation skills and also his box volume calculations

OMG! "When will you mate?" #monsterdon Damn...

we should be equal. I mean, two of us are the same guy

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Get me some good fighting cocks…"

Me: Pfft! 😂🤣😂🤣

$100k? That's it?

Looks like going from 1973 to 2025 means it would be more like $723k. Which is a good amount, but not *gigantic*

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Gee this is not a thing we expect a dad says to his daughter.
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon *casual reminder that these guys are pimps and animal torturers*

"When will you mate? It has been days!"
Poseidon is pimping out his daughter.
Him and Sid Haig are more alike than they realize.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"Mate with one of the outsiders!"
"But they have such tiny eyes! ​:floofCry:​ They all remind me of Dad."

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973