#Monsterdon like I said. Listen to the Owlbear.
Anyway, that was fun! Have a good night guys. Same time next week, yeah?
Okay the horribly out of place music layered on top of the soundtrack did make for a few moments of laughter in confusion. But that doesn't make up for this movie being 40% underwater footage by volume. And just bad.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis
@paco At about 53 minutes in, the lady speculates that these are descendants of Atlantians, migrating to this island and inbreeding. Maybe. #monsterdon
The hours of my life I waste shitposting with yβall #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon she feels sorry about both the homicide *and* the genocide
Lovely watching with you fine fedi folks tonight! Thanks again @Taweret #Monsterdon
Not exactly bingo
the only pearl i care about
I need a shower. :/ #Monsterdon
I'm going to go try to scrub the 70s off my skin. Goodnight #monsterdon, and thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Does the doctor stay with the Atlantians? This could be the origin story for redheaded mermaids. #Monsterdon
the real pearls are the sea people we destroy along the way #Monsterdon
Oh yes, THATS what this mishmash of a soundtrack lacked. A touch of Bollywood. Glad they slipped that in over the final credits.
Well wasn't that just worth my time.
#monsterdon
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And then the pearls fucked off into the sea
???
They're just choosing pointless violence instead of money that they have the resources to get?
what?
Yeah, Eddie and friends are the real monsters.
so they went mad at the end, mirroring the audience. wat #monsterdon
Dad's just mad because she technically followed his order, but now that forced mating is all for naught #monsterdon
wtf does that ending actually mean?!? #monsterdon
sure, that's a way to end a move.
also EAST EDDIE is indeed EAST EDDIE in the credits, nice.
wut
Another #Monsterdon is in the can!
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Tonight's feature, #BeyondAtlantis, from 1973, promised to put some motion in the ocean. Instead we got,
BIG eyes!Pearl envy!Killer crabs!Piranha pools!Lots of swimming. In fact, most of the movie is just people swimming. Exploding temple!
Et tu Manuel?
#monsterdon
Can't wait for the sequel. Beyond Atlantis: The Search for Curly's Pearls!
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honestly Manuel should make all the $$ if anyone should
I was expecting the islanders to capture the scientist to propagate the royal line. Ah well.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973
these folk showing us how to properly fuck off into the sea after a shite movie
"...okay everyone, you're going to walk into the sea. Yep, that's good. Keep walking. Keep going. You're doing great!"
lol, this film is a 'fun' story of Colonialism though, look at the white folk fighting over pearls after blowing everything up
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not all of those extras were ready to walk into the ocean at that pace I guess
Kathy and Syrene - don't just wrestle - say something! #monsterdon
Crab flesh wounds, broken arm - East Eddie is a walking disaster.
Well, at least one of the white protagonists gets how bad this whole thing was #Monsterdon
RIP #monsterdon
One minute the whole village is there. Then like 30 seconds later, he does his Darth Vader "Nooooooo" and they're all gone.
#monsterdon
All the other fish blondes are like... it's my turn now byotches!
Blowing up the temple makes no sense even if the movie's about to end --- which it is not.
Behind the scenes footage during the recording of the film score.
NOW youβre covering her up, creepazoid fish daddy? #Monsterdon
I agree, Great Valueβ’ Logan, why couldn't you have died instead? #Monsterdon
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pink smoke?
you maniacs! you've destroyed the bloodline! #monsterdon
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nothing makes any sense around here.
Can someone please get the cat off of the piano?
worst dad ever
#monsterdon
#Monsterdon intense synth score, what is this fuckin' the terminator (1984) ahead of its time?
They don't even know CPR
Choking her with her own hair! A memories... I haven't done that since my youth.
#Monsterdon is now trending across Mastodon
#ReasonsHellFrozeOver is now trending across Mastodon
Unprompted, our protagonists blew up the sacred temple of the villagers and are now mowing them down with hand weapons, after having been made welcome and then made rich by them.
I don't know, man. I'm rooting for the fish people with the spears in this fight.
Also this extended damp catfight can get right in the bin.
These Synchronized Swimming tryouts have taken a turn
having an underwater catfight over a man is one of a variety of ways to get a Bechdel test fail
@Taweret I am SO sorry I missed tonight's #Monsterdon based on this toot alone. π
Her dad didn't say she had to mate with a guy.
itβs not mexican women wrestling a mummy but Iβll take it #Monsterdon
The only thing worse than the infinite bullet revolvers is the women fighting underwater. So weird. #monsterdon
My mom, as the fight progresses underwater: "Maybe she's gonna discover she likes girls."
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oh no she's gonna tickle her under there
GIRL FIGHT #monsterdon #beyondatlantis
what did the first half hour of cockfighting and gross massages have to do with any of this?
catfight
Of course, the designated girlfight 9_9 #Monsterdon
Criminals and cock fighters vs inbred fishmen cultists who lure people to the island with pearls to kill them.
We have no one to root for here. But alot of them are dying now so... hooray?
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis
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oh no the cannibal fish et 'em
@amyfou@lingo.lol No, kill all of them! Hurry!
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973
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omg just kill eddie pls holy cow I've been waiting this whole movie for that
Looks this is somewhat less one-sided then Cat Women of the Moon, but man...
Sid Haig. The man who can shoot four people with two bullets.
They had to destroy the temple in order to save it. #monsterdon
Oh, oh, wait, I totally had something for this ... Temple of Boom
We have to be fair, Eddie dresses as a pimp even this whole time at the island
#monsterdon
#monsterdon All this bloodshed could have been avoided if curly hair guy had made the sacrifice he wasn't willing to make : Have sex with a mermaid.
Everybody knows that for the sex to work underwater, all they really need is to add some saxophones to this synth soundtrack.
Colonizers love destroying indigenous temples
Looks like a standard colonial operation.
C'mon guys, do 'em like Captain Cook! #Monsterdon
They donβt seem all that diverted by the diversion. I think you just wanted to explode a temple. #Monsterdon
That's a lot of fire. Was it a temple to the god of kerosene?
I wish these people were sliced up by those goat-eating fish #monsterdon
Of course they brought enough dynamite to blow up a temple on their pearl diving expedition
Wait, is it day or night? Or it's day at the beach and night at the temple?
I'm confused. This flix is an awful mess
#monsterdon
OMG they actually blew something up! Money was spent!
Who packs dynamite? #monsterdon
Still not sure about why they need to blow up the temple other then to blow it up
#monsterdon
"I have NEVER forgotten having mated before" #monsterdon
Is it nighttime or is it daytime?! Make up your dang mind, movie.
@moira Does he worship his own butt?
βWell my ass is sacred to meβ is top-tier scriptwriting
Yeah, we're all looking at our watches too.
why is it night at the temple but day at the beach π₯΄
my ass is sacred to me and also this white speedsuit #Monsterdon
What the hell? Manuel comes up to offer them a ride. But then suddenly we need a diversion by killing people and blowing shit up? None of this makes sense.
My ass is also sacred to me.