I wish @floatybirb was here to summarize and rate this movie.

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

Thank you @Taweret for hosting this putrid pearl!

and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! I got a bingo on just Sexy Swimming seven times.

And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: Have we ever seen the characters fuck on and off into the sea? This could be a first. Thanks for making this movie waaaay frothier.

What in the infinite hells was the plot of this film? All those actors playing fish folk must have maximum eye sweat, and for what?

Who am I kidding. I'm salty that so many of the greedy white pillagers survived 🤬 Gonna rewind to one of the peaceful underwater sequences to sooth the pain 🤣 #Monsterdon

So someone really said, “I have a pile of money to burn, make me a movie”

🤮 #Monsterdon

I'm not quite sure where Atlantis was. Were we in Atlantis the whole time? Or were we just beyond Atlantis? Did anyone actually say the word Atlantis at any point?
#monsterdon

Never would've guessed if not for the helpful title.

#monsterdon

@paco with acting like that, you have to give it room to breathe #Monsterdon

I cannot express how disappointed I am that any of the white people survived to the end credits #monsterdon

SO many people in that movie deserved to die and NONE of them did

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Well. That was a movie of indeterminate quality, acting and plot. #Monsterdon

@Taweret at least they all fucked off into the sea, as is traditional

#monsterdon

#monsterdon This ending feels really really forced.

Sierra Madre did it better.

This fucking movie I swear to god

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon

She died the way she lived: damp #monsterdon

the ending of this movie is leaving me with questions, but I do not care about what the answers are

#Monsterdon

They should have gone with gill-necks rather than fish eyes....

#Monsterdon

And they all fucked off into the sea.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

He got the crocheted pearl sex net? #Monsterdon

are the Fish People planning to fuck right off into the sea?

#monsterdon

Shit, talk about turning the other cheek. Couldn't stand up for your daughter for a cumulative 5 seconds in the film, Great Value™ Logan? #Monsterdon

The pearls are cursed or kaiju eggs or something, right? Hopefully?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"...take the pearls, but please leave the ceremonial spinach."

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

it's worth a king's ransom because he's literally a king, you dumbass

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

HOW ARE NONE OF THEM DEAD

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Missed opportunity: after the explosion Syrene's dad should have yelled "You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!" #monsterdon

#monsterdon Pearls before swine.

Bechdel convo is happening underwater.

#monsterdon

My, that's a deep pool we've fallen into to fight ... and you strangled her with her own hair? Really?

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

did she just strangle her with her own hair?

@allanb catfish fight #monsterdon

...was this entire movie a setup for this scene? #monsterdon

was that the worst choreographed fight in cinema history? #monsterdon

Shirt over the head and you got her girl!

#Monsterdon #Elbowsup

"We brought enough bullets and explosives to colonise this island! We're the Protagonists! Yayy us!"

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva Please oh please let us have this #Monsterdon

You could've left. Just left. They wanted you gone. Just stop fucking around, don't kill anyone on your way out, and go.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

GOJIRA! GOJIRA IS HERE! #Monsterdon

Temple is sacred so you can't blow it up.

My ass is sacred so you blow up the temple.

I think East Eddie failed logic 101.

#monsterdon

Also as a theater nerd, I need to point out that gaffer tape is AMAZING.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

@apLundell expected a large round bomb, with 'bomb' written on it #Monsterdon

It's night time, it's daytime. They really haven't thought this through.

#Monsterdon

Sure, just kill a random guy. This really is a film from the monster's PoV

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

I am begging this movie to north Sentinel all of these crackers #monsterdon

"My ass is scared to me. So the temple blows up."
Was this movie worth it for that line? No. But it's a great line none the less.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"You can't blow up the temple!"

"…okay I'll come with you and bring the explosives"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon If you're in an action movie, remember to always bring explosives.

My ass is sacred to me- thank you for that line, Sid. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Poisson Distribution

Oh it is the famous cannibal fish that eats humans.

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva A goat I think. It baa‘d. #monsterdon

So much denim in this scene of peril

#Monsterdon

"Cannibal fish!" *facepalms*

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Female in danger
All beach boys to the front lines!

#monsterdon

LOL

that pearl-net-trap thing!

Oh Cathy!

#Monsterdon

the results of mind-blowing underwater sex, obviously #monsterdon

We must cover you in the ceremonial net while you grind ... then he shows up on the beach, dry and topless.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Pearl net? o_O

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon "Syrene is a lot like the sirens of mythology"

Woah, what a deep connection. You think that up all by yourself?

Omg can Sid Haig kill someone already? Why else is he in this movie if not to be a bad guy with a gun? Make something happen!
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Why does Syrene keep trying to make out with McDisposableProtagonist while he's got a SCUBA mouthpiece in his kiss-spigot, did she skip that class in phys ed #monsterdon

#monsterdon Ah, the old underwater net ploy!.

At least they have a plan. I thought she was going to mate with him through his wetsuit.

lol, wtf is this net now?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon She has the hottest cloaca this side of Fresno.

@allanb
I was amazed when I found out how recent deep sea diving gear was. I bet it was still novel in the 70s. Was definitely a big deal when Thunderball was released 8 years prior in '65.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

gonna fuck right through the wetsuit.

actually, shouldn't there be an egg deposit for this to work?

#monsterdon

@Louisa And how tf did those Greeks get from the Mediterranean to the Phillipines? #monsterdon

NONE OF YOU

NONE OF YOU ARE PADI CERTIFIED

#monsterdon

YOLO
#monsterdon

Is this pearl find deep enough that we have to worry about decompression dives? Please?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon This island has some baller levels of glaucoma.

Ahhh…the ‘70s crochet bikini… #Monsterdon

Oh I hope they drown. Please let them drown. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

oh no more crotch swimming shots dangit

Oh please tell me shes going to go sploot a clutch of eggs for him to fertilize 🤣 #Monsterdon

"we're gonna need a bigger boat" #wrongmovie #Monsterdon

#monsterdon They need a supercut of this movie, all the dramatic gasps, just endless gasps. That's it. No dialogue, just gasps. In the end, Yoda appears, Bad Lip Reading singing about the seagulls pecking his head. Mmm-hmmm.

#monsterdon She needs more folate in her diet.

Would you teach me how to love

#monsterdon

Do you eat ass? #monsterdon

The violence and greed discussion by the treasure hunters would be more tense in a better movie

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@Lazarou She was trying to figure out which one he was. #monsterdon

@th0tleader Our therapist didn't say, "It's time for you to mate?!"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon You'd love to just collect more pearls until the local economy for pearls collapses and they end up crushing them and including them in the macadam they use to pave roads on the main island.

Fun Trivia: Tim Burton was inspired by this film for Beetlgeuse.

#monsterdon

It certainly isn't getting us any closer to the end of this movie. #Monsterdon

If there's an Anti-Bechdel test I think they've just passed it.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The clan chief went to the William Shatner School of Acting. SO MANY COMMAS, SO DRAMA.

"It is your destiny to mate with an outsider"

Who said this exactly?

#Monsterdon

"Look, fuck or die, pick one." #Monsterdon

#monsterdon what’s with all this marine ballet?

it is your destiny to MATE with one of THESE STINKMONSTERS

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Mating time for the blond
#monsterdon

"WHEN WILL YOU MATE?"

Fathers, yeah?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm so glad we are back where we belong.. underwater..

it has been DAYS since you last mated WHY HAVE YOU NOT LAID EGGS

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Dollars to donuts the credits has like 50 screens of sound and music directors.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon That's a lot of Oyster crap. Pearls are oyster crap.

I think that's symbolism? you mean euphemism?! clam up! --dad #Monsterdon