"There are places where you should not be." Like this entire movie.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

srsly why don't they just pls murder everyone

DON'T disturb the flaming giant clam altar.

#Monsterdon

404 plot not found

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

#monsterdon Synthesizers In The Briny Deep. Blurb bazoooie, kerplop.

@overholt I think this was the scene that mostly inspired Tarantino.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon you hear that princess? Those are the Shrieking Eels!

Before we all could have hardcore pornography streamed on demand, there was the extended jiggly ass shot

#monsterdon

just laughing at all the underwater scenes now....the pacing of a slow leak.

#Monsterdon

@starkraving666: "Oh look, here is a jiggling butt"
Me: "Shh, shh shh. Let me appreciate fine art."

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

#monsterdon A savage island woman must accessorize, so go down to the Loreal Accessory Wall and pick out a SAVAGE PURSE and then WALK. Make it work. Sashay Away! Lip synch for your LIIIIIFE!

This movie invented the "WedgieCam" #monsterdon

Keeping an eye on the shorts to see if any balls or cock slip out...about the only real action you see in underwater scenes.

#Monsterdon

Swimminnnnnnn
Swimminnnnnnn
Swimminnnnnnn

#monsterdon

@jivens "That's why they call me Underwater Eddie" #monsterdon

Atlantis crab pit > Aztec snake pit

#monsterdon

oggywoogygoogleoogleolgy

#monsterdon

A MOTHERCRABBING TRAP? #Monsterdon

@strangefour Have we done Ebirah? I don't think we have.

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon OMG that baldy is wearing a chin merkin

aaaaand back to the underwater ballet for no real reason. Someone with ADHD edited this film. #Monsterdon

lol, 'crab trap'

not exactly a pit of snakes, is it?

#Monsterdon

I'm expecting the Ellen DeGeneres voice for those fish in this scene.

#Monsterdon #findingNemo

#monsterdon The music is on par with our usual scores.. chaotic as fuck.

I remember when your camera only had film for 30 or so pictures! Savage times...

#Monsterdon

The Professor and Gilligan are going to show up shortly.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I can't believe they did the slower and louder thing.

They're having a lot of trouble with the scientist lady's continuity. Her skimpy top keeps switching between beige and purple.

#Monsterdon

23 minutes in annnnd…what’s happening #monsterdon

#monsterdon The police ambush scene is very unrealistic. Even with the chaos, all the people would set aside to let senior citizens escape first. Then the Titas would beat the policemen. Don't mess with the titas

Did I hear that correctly? Gallery of cryptid pacific arts?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

I feel like the perl should dissolve or start a fire or something when dropped in a drink.

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon noo noo this is all horrible

Finally, this movie is getting hot!! #threeway #monsterdon

Me at work next year: "If a man could find a source for these babies he'd be in milk and honey forever."

#Monsterdon

Welcome to the writers poorly disguised fetish - possibly the real reason this movie was made.

#Monsterdon

ewww, stop perving on her legs you Sex Tourists

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Feast your eyes on this.. my eyes!!!

Ah yes, the chest massage #monsterdon

this guy shouting advice at a cockfight is, I assume, our hero

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon i hope the mer-people kill the cockfight promoters

#Monsterdon *extended animal cruelty sequence*

#monsterdon Okay, cockfighting. That could have been in the trigger list. At least they were charming enough to use glowing prophylactics. ;)

You think you'll be safe from having to see cockfighting in a movie about merpeople, and yet,

#Monsterdon

Well as far as character development goes they established scum

And now the offensive cockfight

#monsterdon

#monsterdon A vaguely green straw hat is a weird choice..

man unwraps his handkerchief to reveal... googly eyes! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

you didn't need all those double entendres if you were just gonna say it dude

Dating Game music!🎵

#monsterdon

I didn't know googly eyes were based on this movie.

#monsterdon

Does she get a new dress every trip? She just drops it on the beach upon returning. Could be expensive.

#Monsterdon

Not so much a catamaran as a Can't-amaran. #Monsterdon

I can’t believe they got Shel Silverstein to be in this. #Monsterdon

*Cough*
I have found a justification for the 4k restoration, and we need this stat!

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

@apLundell Sounds like a much better movie. Ima try and watch it. #monsterdon

@brooke so many sequel hooks just lying around....

#Monsterdon

I thought this scene was gonna solve the "you must mate!" problem. And I was waiting to see how that was gonna happen through quarter-inch neoprene.

If she is swimming in basically nothing, why is that dude wearing a wet suit? Did the stunt double have like a super hairy chest to hide or something?
#monsterdon

@Terencio @apLundell I bet some well-to-do Afrikaners would have loved to move in with them #monsterdon

Most confusing aspect of this visit to Japan: #monsterdon on Monday morning.

If you're reading this, you're at the tail end of a long stream of posts on the feed about #Monsterdon, a fediverse community movie-watching event.

This week we watched BEYOND ATLANTIS (1973). It had terrible swimming, googly eyed mer-people, and a score going through an identity crisis.

See the post at the top of this thread for more info:

https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/111004128276431553

@SnoopJ It's called "cocksplaining" #monsterdon

@ottaross "Life"

#Monsterdon

Ping-pong ball eyes do not a monster make, though all the casual cruelty suggests that *everyone* was some flavor of monster. Just not a photogenic one. Tonight's commentary did manage to carry us all through it, though.

Thanks to @Taweret for tonight's taste of the seedy 70s!

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon we never saw West Eddie ;_; failed chekhov gun

@apLundell ikr couldn't they just adopt a bunch of kids? Or accept immigrants? Didn't look like it was all that tough to live there. #monsterdon

As we go from week to week, movie to movie, Octoman raises in my estimation to become a modern classic in comparison.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@kshernandez such a sequel hook...

#Monsterdon

But I do need to sketch out Kathy's black and white outfit. That's a tight fit.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

That movie was bad and it made me feel bad.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

I wish @floatybirb was here to summarize and rate this movie.

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON Goodbye!

Thank you @Taweret for hosting this putrid pearl!

and thanks @Cherizilla for the Bingo card! I got a bingo on just Sexy Swimming seven times.

And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: Have we ever seen the characters fuck on and off into the sea? This could be a first. Thanks for making this movie waaaay frothier.

What in the infinite hells was the plot of this film? All those actors playing fish folk must have maximum eye sweat, and for what?

Who am I kidding. I'm salty that so many of the greedy white pillagers survived 🤬 Gonna rewind to one of the peaceful underwater sequences to sooth the pain 🤣 #Monsterdon

So someone really said, “I have a pile of money to burn, make me a movie”

🤮 #Monsterdon

I'm not quite sure where Atlantis was. Were we in Atlantis the whole time? Or were we just beyond Atlantis? Did anyone actually say the word Atlantis at any point?
#monsterdon

Never would've guessed if not for the helpful title.

#monsterdon

@paco with acting like that, you have to give it room to breathe #Monsterdon

I cannot express how disappointed I am that any of the white people survived to the end credits #monsterdon

SO many people in that movie deserved to die and NONE of them did

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon This ending feels really really forced.

Sierra Madre did it better.

#Monsterdon

She died the way she lived: damp #monsterdon

the ending of this movie is leaving me with questions, but I do not care about what the answers are

#Monsterdon

They should have gone with gill-necks rather than fish eyes....

#Monsterdon

And they all fucked off into the sea.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

He got the crocheted pearl sex net? #Monsterdon

are the Fish People planning to fuck right off into the sea?

#monsterdon

Shit, talk about turning the other cheek. Couldn't stand up for your daughter for a cumulative 5 seconds in the film, Great Value™ Logan? #Monsterdon

The pearls are cursed or kaiju eggs or something, right? Hopefully?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

it's worth a king's ransom because he's literally a king, you dumbass

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

HOW ARE NONE OF THEM DEAD

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon Pearls before swine.

Bechdel convo is happening underwater.

#monsterdon

My, that's a deep pool we've fallen into to fight ... and you strangled her with her own hair? Really?

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

did she just strangle her with her own hair?

@allanb catfish fight #monsterdon

...was this entire movie a setup for this scene? #monsterdon

was that the worst choreographed fight in cinema history? #monsterdon

Shirt over the head and you got her girl!

#Monsterdon #Elbowsup

"We brought enough bullets and explosives to colonise this island! We're the Protagonists! Yayy us!"

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva Please oh please let us have this #Monsterdon