"We need a distraction"

"I'll blow up their Temple"

White people....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon those are OG Levis

This script peaked with "MotherCrabbers" #Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon Cannibal fish? How could that species last? They'd just EAT EACH OTHER. You should have said... *gasps* Pirahna!!!!

#monsterdon funny how it’s the "natives" demanding privacy and setting boundaries

#Monsterdon just ... one ... more... score

#monsterdon WTF why did fishboi throw the monkey to the piranha. was it a monkey? have no idea whst kind of mammal it was

they managed to put an unconscious man back in the bottom half of a wet suit? BULLSHIT.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

i see people complaining about the unbelievable quantity of scuba shots in this movie, and that is valid criticism for someone who is paying attention to what is going on, but for someone who is not paying attention at all they are the best part of the movie
#monsterdon

@SRLevine Okay, no. More of them just talking about logistics, or a character getting attacked underwater and having to choose between bends and dealing with the merpeople

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

The movie misses a chance to kill a character with a panic ascent

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"Baby's got the Bends!" 🎵

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon there’s 2 blonde guys that look interchangeable. which one’s gonna die?

oh great, underwater sex scenes now....

#Monsterdon

"I have questions they are urgent and I have little time to decide. Do you... have any social diseases?"

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

What is this thing you call... LOVE

BARF

#Monsterdon

science quibble: most people define seaprate species as those that can't interbreed with each other and produce fertile offspring. not that they can't have a romantic relationship.

#Monsterdon

That mask was carved by the Minnow-ans… get it ? Hahaha #Monsterdon

All these actors trained at the William Shatner school of "smell the fart" acting.
#monsterdon

nah, not incest

just diving too deep

#monsterdon

Oh, come on. Why can't the eyes be from *expanding* their gene pool with Deep Ones?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon so the swimmy guys with the bug eyes were rescued pearl divers that got the bends?

"Bitch, I asked you if you wanted coffee, are you some kind of Feminist?!"

#Monsterdon

any character in any 70s movie would try to sell you for fake weed behind a bowling alley

#Monsterdon

Oh his dream is to become a pimp. He's aiming high. #Monsterdon

you sound like a scared MOTHER-CRABBER

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"My fellow White person, there are 'no go' areas for our kind here...."

hmmmm

#Monsterdon

Behind the Scenes photo of the napkin the plot was written on. #monsterdon

"There are places where you should not be." Like this entire movie.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

srsly why don't they just pls murder everyone

DON'T disturb the flaming giant clam altar.

#Monsterdon

Yeet the kid

#monsterdon

404 plot not found

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

#monsterdon Synthesizers In The Briny Deep. Blurb bazoooie, kerplop.

@overholt I think this was the scene that mostly inspired Tarantino.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon you hear that princess? Those are the Shrieking Eels!

Before we all could have hardcore pornography streamed on demand, there was the extended jiggly ass shot

#monsterdon

just laughing at all the underwater scenes now....the pacing of a slow leak.

#Monsterdon

@starkraving666: "Oh look, here is a jiggling butt"
Me: "Shh, shh shh. Let me appreciate fine art."

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

#monsterdon A savage island woman must accessorize, so go down to the Loreal Accessory Wall and pick out a SAVAGE PURSE and then WALK. Make it work. Sashay Away! Lip synch for your LIIIIIFE!

This movie invented the "WedgieCam" #monsterdon

#monsterdon And we're swimming.. and we're swimming...

Keeping an eye on the shorts to see if any balls or cock slip out...about the only real action you see in underwater scenes.

#Monsterdon

Swimminnnnnnn
Swimminnnnnnn
Swimminnnnnnn

#monsterdon

@jivens "That's why they call me Underwater Eddie" #monsterdon

Atlantis crab pit > Aztec snake pit

#monsterdon

oggywoogygoogleoogleolgy

#monsterdon

A MOTHERCRABBING TRAP? #Monsterdon

@strangefour Have we done Ebirah? I don't think we have.

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon OMG that baldy is wearing a chin merkin

aaaaand back to the underwater ballet for no real reason. Someone with ADHD edited this film. #Monsterdon

lol, 'crab trap'

not exactly a pit of snakes, is it?

#Monsterdon

I'm expecting the Ellen DeGeneres voice for those fish in this scene.

#Monsterdon #findingNemo

#monsterdon The music is on par with our usual scores.. chaotic as fuck.

I remember when your camera only had film for 30 or so pictures! Savage times...

#Monsterdon

The Professor and Gilligan are going to show up shortly.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I can't believe they did the slower and louder thing.

They're having a lot of trouble with the scientist lady's continuity. Her skimpy top keeps switching between beige and purple.

#Monsterdon

23 minutes in annnnd…what’s happening #monsterdon

#monsterdon The police ambush scene is very unrealistic. Even with the chaos, all the people would set aside to let senior citizens escape first. Then the Titas would beat the policemen. Don't mess with the titas

Did I hear that correctly? Gallery of cryptid pacific arts?

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@trixter lol, yes! Very Monsterdon!

#Monsterdon

I feel like the perl should dissolve or start a fire or something when dropped in a drink.

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon noo noo this is all horrible

Finally, this movie is getting hot!! #threeway #monsterdon

Me at work next year: "If a man could find a source for these babies he'd be in milk and honey forever."

#Monsterdon

Welcome to the writers poorly disguised fetish - possibly the real reason this movie was made.

#Monsterdon

ewww, stop perving on her legs you Sex Tourists

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Feast your eyes on this.. my eyes!!!

Ah yes, the chest massage #monsterdon

this guy shouting advice at a cockfight is, I assume, our hero

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon i hope the mer-people kill the cockfight promoters

#Monsterdon *extended animal cruelty sequence*

#monsterdon Okay, cockfighting. That could have been in the trigger list. At least they were charming enough to use glowing prophylactics. ;)

You think you'll be safe from having to see cockfighting in a movie about merpeople, and yet,

#Monsterdon

Well as far as character development goes they established scum

And now the offensive cockfight

#monsterdon

#monsterdon A vaguely green straw hat is a weird choice..

man unwraps his handkerchief to reveal... googly eyes! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

you didn't need all those double entendres if you were just gonna say it dude

Dating Game music!🎵

#monsterdon

I didn't know googly eyes were based on this movie.

#monsterdon

Does she get a new dress every trip? She just drops it on the beach upon returning. Could be expensive.

#Monsterdon

Not so much a catamaran as a Can't-amaran. #Monsterdon

I can’t believe they got Shel Silverstein to be in this. #Monsterdon

*Cough*
I have found a justification for the 4k restoration, and we need this stat!

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

@apLundell Sounds like a much better movie. Ima try and watch it. #monsterdon

@brooke so many sequel hooks just lying around....

#Monsterdon

I thought this scene was gonna solve the "you must mate!" problem. And I was waiting to see how that was gonna happen through quarter-inch neoprene.

If she is swimming in basically nothing, why is that dude wearing a wet suit? Did the stunt double have like a super hairy chest to hide or something?
#monsterdon

@Terencio @apLundell I bet some well-to-do Afrikaners would have loved to move in with them #monsterdon

Most confusing aspect of this visit to Japan: #monsterdon on Monday morning.

If you're reading this, you're at the tail end of a long stream of posts on the feed about #Monsterdon, a fediverse community movie-watching event.

This week we watched BEYOND ATLANTIS (1973). It had terrible swimming, googly eyed mer-people, and a score going through an identity crisis.

See the post at the top of this thread for more info:

https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/111004128276431553

@SnoopJ It's called "cocksplaining" #monsterdon

@ottaross "Life"

#Monsterdon

Ping-pong ball eyes do not a monster make, though all the casual cruelty suggests that *everyone* was some flavor of monster. Just not a photogenic one. Tonight's commentary did manage to carry us all through it, though.

Thanks to @Taweret for tonight's taste of the seedy 70s!

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon we never saw West Eddie ;_; failed chekhov gun

@apLundell ikr couldn't they just adopt a bunch of kids? Or accept immigrants? Didn't look like it was all that tough to live there. #monsterdon

As we go from week to week, movie to movie, Octoman raises in my estimation to become a modern classic in comparison.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@kshernandez such a sequel hook...

#Monsterdon

But I do need to sketch out Kathy's black and white outfit. That's a tight fit.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

That movie was bad and it made me feel bad.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis