They sure don't make PG movies like they used to. >_> #Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Sure, the ancient Minoans migrated to Tuscarora, NC, real close to the Philippines. You got yourself a great thesis topic there #monsterdon

Ahhh so she's supposed to bang one of the d-bags that's why they haven't 86ed them yet, got it.

#Monsterdon

You want me to WHAT? #monsterdon

Is this an early DCEU movie? „The City of Dagon is a Atlantean nation founded by Ocean Master made up of Atlantean mutants and outcasts from Atlantis“ https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/City_of_Dagon #monsterdon

Um, if they’re of a different species that’s a major obstacle to mating with one of them. #Monsterdon

do you think they could buy a proper film with this haul? #monsterdon

the fish people have a lot of fun fur. #monsterdon

That's, like, the opposite dude. You can love any species but you gotta be real careful with the mating. #Monsterdon

Uhhh... guys... what happened to the homicidal Atlanteans who stabbed the Frog Man?

#monsterdon

whoah, these Atlanteans must have a big pearl manufacturing thing. I wonder if is one gigantic oyster.
#monsterdon

yes please, commit them all to the sea. #monsterdon

oh eh, we're up to the breeding #monsterdon

Wait. The peals are merman ejaculate and this is how they reproduce.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

ROCKCLIMBING has been replaced by PEARLDIVING
Both result in DEEP HURTING
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon I tried to warn you all about #BeyondAtlantis but did you listen? Noooooooo!

Always listen to the Owlbear.

"WHEN WILL YOU MATE?"

Fathers, yeah?

#Monsterdon

It's either environment or genes...

Yep, that about sums it up

#monsterdon
#BeyondAtlantis

oh great, more underwater scenes.....

*reaches for vape

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Wow, that took a sudden turn.

Woah. That's a whole clutch of pearls 😮 #Monsterdon

also, wow, I had been assuming the pearl eyes were masks, but we're supposed to believe those are their actual faces?

sure, Jan

#Monsterdon

"Well if inbreeding gave everyone on the island fish eyes, how come blond lady and her dad Poseidon don't have fish eyes?"
"I dunno. I'm not that kinda scientist. I'm just spit balling here."
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

oh no, not the underwater scenes again, please! #monsterdon

I think that's symbolism? you mean euphemism?! clam up! --dad #Monsterdon

#monsterdon There is a significant amount of asscheek on display. So much so you sort of want to tickle the television...

Every time the feed reminds me that the title of this movie is #BeyondAtlantis, I think of Uhura's song "Beyond Antares"

#Monsterdon

Well, I'm 20 minutes late, but so far I'm enjoying this tale of 3 charismatic but untrustworthy rogues and a "scientist" who will no doubt turn on each other at the climax. 👍

The movie is from the 70s, so here's hoping there isn't too much casual racism. 😬

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

@brooke #Severance vibe #monsterdon

@brooke yeah that was a weird teaser for Severance season 3 #monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Don’t mind if I do! #monsterdon

The movie couldn't be shown on TV because the wardrobe caused explosive Moiré patterns.

#monsterdon

"...how do you account for their eyes?"
"Must be from inbreeding."
"Huh, so they're royalty."

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Oh she changed outfits again. The white front / black back pants are gone. My interest in the movie has waned again.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@srol Groan. #monsterdon

Now we tie the Minoans into this mess. "Atlantis had a similar climate."

Oh, and the bug eyes? Incest. I'm just guessing, of course.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Yes, yes you are making a lot of guesses
#monsterdon

@moira
A guy offering a woman coffee!
#monsterdon

my dude what is this pose

who drinks coffee like that? 🥴

#monsterdon

So now Kathy's the main character... I wasn't prepared for that, but okay, better than Eddie I guess #monsterdon

"Are you suggesting these people migrated here?"

No, they're just here on vacation. #Monsterdon

"Can I sit with my crotch somehow in your face?"

#Monsterdon

Could you make your connection more ... conCRETE? wakka wakka wakka #monsterdon

[watches housemate have a coughing fit about the mask being carved in the style of the minoans]

sometimes it's good not to have _that_ much art history

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

if only this movie had sunk into the sea. #monsterdon

so we've jumped from Crete to nonspecific Mexico?

surrrrre.

#monsterdon

Uh... Who's this? #monsterdon

"It's carved in the style if the Minoans" *choke* Holy crap it is in no way that. #Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Oh this are the most lame future talk ever
#monsterdon

at least they got coffee at this Isla Nublar. #monsterdon

"I'm gonna buy me a dream. Mr. Luxury." what the fuck are you talking about #monsterdon

Clearly none of these dudes have student loans. #monsterdon

MORE COFFEE

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@moira A MICROPHONE!?

...Okay, I can see that. #Monsterdon

Fun Trivia: Wolverine's DAD was from Atlantis

#monsterdon

@kshernandez The YouTube version seems to have some kind of weird synth stuff added to avoid a copyright strike.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

He really needs a mustache.

#Monsterdon

Uh oh... she's gonna try and steal it and then they will all get kilt! #monsterdon

"I traded it for a microphone."

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"Stay therrrrrrre, stay therrrrrrre."

#monsterdon

Damn, for a people that live in an island they are all bery whitey.
#monsterdon

you want some good cocks

well that's reasonable

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Pacific piranha! #monsterdon

Oh I got bingo with the crab trap! Nice. #Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

Behind the Scenes photo of the napkin the plot was written on. #monsterdon

i'm kinda surprised there hasn't been any gratuitous nudity yet #monsterdon

"There are places you should not be."

For example, on camera. #Monsterdon

ZZtop "Pearl necklace" starts up #BadMovie #Monsterdon

"...But.... I just wanted to take it to the British Royal Museum!!" #monsterdon

Next, on Legends of The Hidden Temple

#monsterdon

Do pearl divers really split open every clam they see down there? Seems to me it'd be more efficient to bring them to the surface and shuck them all then and there #monsterdon

They should put up some gates or something if they didn't want people wandering around

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

I hope that mask talks, ......with a comedy cockney accent

#Monsterdon

Mooo-vin-in MOOOO-vi-in

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis #MoveAway

That stone head's got resting George Takei "Oh My" face #monsterdon

I don't know if this was intentional. But the boat horn after this guy says "She's a scientist!"
#monsterdon

so this guy with the spear behind her, was he supposed to be on guard duty, or... #monsterdon

Oh, right, plot. (that mask from the museum)

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

you...what? ah yes, right, safety margins are USELESS you know. #monsterdon

maybe I should do that to get out of awkward situations 🥴

just chuck a small animal into a pool of piranha

#monsterdon

@moira I wonder if they considered using music that wasn't terrible.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Experimental synth-scored underwater knife fight, as you do

#Monsterdon

oh hey mural amplitheatre

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

I hate that the "Dr. Hottie" thing is working on me, it's so low-brow

but it kinda is

#Monsterdon

okay, i hate all of them now. i'm throwing everyone into that lake, where they will all be eaten by whatever that was. the end. #monsterdon

The Doctor meets a strange, googly-eyed native who is cuddling a black goat.

Who then throws the goat to the piranhas.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

well I guess that's one way to end a conversation

#monsterdon

Well, I suppose that's one way to indicate the conversation is over. Just chuck a goat into a piranha pond.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

the FUCK?

#monsterdon

Fear my insensitivity to small animals!

#monsterdon

Not the Goat!!! #Monsterdon

@apLundell The people demand the fisheye cut! #Monsterdon

I'm not watching the movie but I just saw the trailer on IMDB and I have to say

...wut

#Monsterdon

Oh. Oh no

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

Yeet the kid

#monsterdon

Cinematographer really wanted to work with National Geographic, but didn't have the chops... this ouvre was meant to be revenge

#Monsterdon

I love that they MUST continue the trope of the beautiful but primitive woman in a fur bikini with fang toggles, like she's from the Flintstones, even though that doesn't make any sense to wear underwater

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I prefer Patrick Wayne as Sinbad, honestly.

At least then we get Harryhausen SFX.

The budget on this movie was all spend in these underwater shots
#monsterdon