"We need a rope!"

"I got one, under all these sandwiches and yoyos"

#monsterdon

"Don't get that wet!"

BEST.LINE.EVER

#monsterdon

"quick! Let me empty my purse!" #monsterdon

Well I suppose if the mating happens underwater and the dude is mostly covered in a wetsuit and it is the closest thing to not touching I suppose #Monsterdon

"So, the rabbit goes around the tree, and..."

#Monsterdon

@trixter Usually they just leave a wedge of cheese over top. #Monsterdon

Cannibal fish? If that were the case, then she'd have nothing to worry about.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

I feel sorry for the reef fishes who have to watch this travesty #monsterdon

no one heard Kathy yelling, they just heard the orchestra kick in. #monsterdon

oh look a blob of fertilized roe?

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

That's the worst stunt-double match I've seen in a while

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Honestly, search your feelings, you secretly are hoping to see some critters bounding along, making rude comments about the locals...

#Monsterdon for the record it's not ok for these people to deprive her of her reproductive agency

#monsterdon

Now they finally got some pearls, I guess the plot is over? Please? #monsterdon

I'm Screaming: DON'T TOUCH THE CORAL!!!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon So I guess, spawning? *checkmark on clipboard*

finally, the Siren has led a man to his doom on the seafloor. #monsterdon

woah a pearl net?

kinda hot tbh

#monsterdon

"It's Fat City out there!"

I need to start saying this

#Monsterdon

Well he's certainly trapped now.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

is that them having sex? under a pearl net?

#Monsterdon

"VIC"

I WASN'T I SWEAR IT #Monsterdon

At least they are in this same shot so we can see they are two different guys #Monsterdon

Also, that bikini is just as bad as the first time we saw it on screen. Fur. Underwater. SMH #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon is that a crocheted swimsuit?

This segment of underwater footage is brought to you by Theramin™, the COVID-safe instrument you didn't know you needed. #Monsterdon

Great, more scenes of unsustainable extractive resource exploitation #monsterdon

That's a big condom the natives are carrying there. #Monsterdon

is... is the coral supposed to be a metaphor for them doing the nasty??? i don't... #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐟 🐡 🐠 🦈 🐬 🦑 🐙 🐳 😱

oh no

they are full on jacques cousteau'ing this fucking reef though holy hell #monsterdon

more than one hour of movie, and all that really happened is the most random choices for soundtrack and a lot of underwater footage.
#monsterdon

I'm not sure she understands how mating works.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

huh are those just regular flowers underwater?

#monsterdon

The music for this movie is all over the place, I am so confuzzled #Monsterdon

The Youtube commercials are getting more interesting than the movie...

#monsterdon

also, this is like, The Loaves and The Fishes level Miracle Air

10 minutes! lasts days!

#monsterdon

EXTERNAL FERTILIZATION TIME BABY THAT"S MY FETISH

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

i don't know what is going on with the sporadic dialogue where someone keeps yelling "YOU MUST MATE" but i do know there are a bunch of cool fishes in those corals and stuff #monsterdon

#Monsterdon girls keep throwing themselves at this man

also, good luck girl getting that guys diving suit off to mate with him underwater 🥴

#monsterdon

Theremin Fish Jazz!

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

please do not attempt to fuck in the sea while wearing a wetsuit and using scuba apparatus

None of this will be pleasant or even possible.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

Now we got sexual theremin. This soundtrack's got everything. #Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

"Hey man, like sorry you nearly died and all. But uh, like we gotta do some uh diving and shit. Later."
#monsterdon

Just line em all up and psssssshhhhhhhht
hose them down and shout:
'YOU ARE TOO MOIST FOR SOCIETY.'

#Monsterdon

I thought Atlantis was supposed to have a king with a trident etc and not just a lot of swimming around.

#Monsterdon

Girl, not the place to get a land dweller to hump you. He's in a giant condom.

#Monsterdon

this underwater diving....makeout? scene might be even more awkward than the underwater fight scene earlier 🥴

#monsterdon

...Is that a theremin? What the FUCK is going ON with this soundtrack??? #Monsterdon

This is the opposite of "Forbidden Love" - this is compulsory love - #NoBingo

#monsterdon
#BeyondAtlantis

I'm still confused about the baby goat...

#monsterdon

um, i'm not sure this lady understands how human mating works. i'm almost certain he'd need to take off his scuba suit for her to get pregnant. #monsterdon

How do we still have over 20 minutes？
#monsterdon

Check! and mate! #monsterdon

She's about ready to lay her egg mass and jerk him off onto it #monsterdon

But that can't work. He's wearing a body condom.

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#Monsterdon oh she doesn't just want to escape wit ya, she wants a commitment laddie

She's gonna show him the... OTHER clam.

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

Just give me one little shark attack? Some piranhas. A giant squid. Anything. I am tired of these identical scuba scenes.
#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@rberlim She does it to take her mind off of the pearl mask #monsterdon

Weird "In Search of..." theme.

#monsterdon

He looks pretty feisty for someone who just ruptured his eardrums ...

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

@Newpa_Hasai Do you really want an underwater scene where they have to pause for a couple of minutes at regular intervals while moving upwards? because I don't need this movie extended by an hour...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon So, one dude ran out of air, and the other guy with the same sized tank can go back for some underwater make-outs?

Yeah, leave him on the beach to be eaten by Gamera. #Monsterdon

Watching the Mets. Miss #Monsterdon so much

"I'm okay." Can you just feel whether you have the bends?

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis1973

He only waited fifteen minutes before swimming! That MADMAN! #Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

A big gurgley welcome to all new participants and lurkers tonight!!

❗ Your eyes will bug out at the Monsterdon Gear here!:

https://thediremushrump.threadless.com/designs/monsterdon-doodles-color

Hoodies, pillows, shirts, more, all kinds of colors and fabrics!

#BeyondAtlantis

If Eddie goes swimming, then all the local oysters will contract his necrotizing crotch crickets and there will be a ghastly coral bleaching event and the kelp will all turn to goo. #monsterdon

No, you only live twice

#Monsterdon

🎶 you only live once / one life for yourself / and that's it I guess 🎶

#Monsterdon

FFS, someone fix that tooth that's turned the wrong way on her dumb necklace.

#Monsterdon

ah, one of them forgot how to shave, we can use that to deduce their names! #monsterdon

We're gonna need a bigger crab pit.

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon YOLO

Movie veering wildly between baffling and horrifying

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

Jesus DAD. #monsterdon

The origin of YOLO!

#Monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis

#monsterdon so many people just crossed off bingo squares. Should've done one this week.

Seriously, how did the doctor get so many changes of clothes in the bags she brought to the ship?

#Monsterdon

Why aren't you a slut like your mother?

#monsterdon #beyondatlantis

You know what this movie needs right now?

#monsterdon

Wow, the literal human trafficking has competition for worst treatment of women in this movie. #Monsterdon

I can no longer protect you because I don't feel like it anymore #monsterdon

"YOU WILL MATE"

slaps her

oof, bit of a shock there!

#Monsterdon

"I can no longer protect you"
he says, immediately after protecting her. sir.
#monsterdon

Get your fuck on!

#Monsterdon

oh dear that escalated quickly #Monsterdon

You MUST mate
[Moody music]
#monsterdon

Every scene from here on out is just WTF, I suppose

#Monsterdon

Girl, run. #Monsterdon

so what? underwater 70's soft porn now?
#monsterdon

If there's another underwater Ballet....

#monsterdon

of all the horrible directions this movie could've gone, it really had to pick fuck or die, didn't it.

#monsterdon #BeyondAtlantis