@sealawyer I wish I had

#monsterdon

That's not whisky cowboy. It's coming from a bit close to your belt.

#monsterdon

keekeew keekeew
#Monsterdon

like are we sure an AI didn't write this tho? are we really sure?

#monsterdon

John Saxon is pretending he’s in a different movie. #monsterdon

bwah bwah vs peewm peewm
#Monsterdon

Why is he firing his guns by using an adding machine?

#monsterdon

DJing the fight scenes, is this a Gloryhammer video?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon Sunday club also be like

Battle of the Synth Sweeps #monsterdon

I think cowboys drinking belt is really grosse!
#monsterdon

man i'm even numb to boobship at this point

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I love the dude turned towards the camera and pressing buttons, he's like a Space DJ. #Monsterdon

@Keiraleesharonart i also hope. i also dream.
#Monsterdon

I also use keyboards evilly at work.

#monsterdon

I wish Cowboy had a beverage of choice that wasn't yellow.

#monsterdon

I wish was more high for this movie

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"THIS IS A WARRIOR'S DRINK!"

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

The out-of-focus shot of the scotch belt is nice. Don't bother getting another take of that, or even checking the eyepiece.

#Monsterdon

Nice joke at hot dog’s expense. #monsterdon

Nobody here has ever heard of the Alamo

So yes, remember the Alamo

#Monsterdon

Yeah, the belt booze despenser is fun but it does look like he's pissing in a glass >_> #Monsterdon

@sealawyer you should have

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Okay! Who left the mystery crystal on overload? It's just going to make strange wibbly noises and smoke a bit.

space veggiedogs!!
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Pretty sure Sybil Danning's costume pretty much wins by default.
#BattleBeyondTheStars

@sealawyer @Taweret noooooooooooooooo

#Monsterdon

Are they gonna... Do A Character Moment™ for everybody? :/ #Monsterdon

in fact, i can tell you a lot of the stuff from this film was also used in Corman's later production "Space Raiders" to save on budget

#monsterdon

Just sitting around the Kelvins, listening to a cowboy play the mouth harp

#Monsterdon

Amazing.

#monsterdon

"Are you a bad man?"

"Yes."

"Are you gonna play your soap flute at us?"

"Probably."

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

They’re roasting weenies over Cayman’s entourage?! #monsterdon

And only $1.50 at your Costco, which is right next to your pharmacy.

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

Roasting weenies on the Kelvin.

#Monsterdon

wasn't there a bad guy earlier? what's he up to?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

Don't feel bad aliens, nobody really knows what a hot dog is

All right, so it'll be the dozen of them with 40,000 rifles they can't use against a spaceship that doesn't need to touch down to destroy their planet. Good plan team

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Yes, let's humiliate the Kelvins by using them in place of a campfire.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

shout out to this movie for finding a way to include popular public domain songs in a space opera #monsterdon

24. If this movie had been made in 2024, that would have been an "I identify as an attack helicopter" "joke"

#Monsterdon

Lol they're using the Kelvins as a campfire.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"Your torque bar, it's slipped its groove"

This movie is hereby sentenced to go straight to horny jail

#Monsterdon

Oh come on you can't tell me she never tried making out with an android

#Monsterdon

deffo wish the movie went with the two women as the romantic subplot, but here we are sitting in the distant future from 1980

#monsterdon

if the rest of them were going to be actual electronic components, why'd she say "capacitators"?
#monsterdon

@ottaross Probably a womp mouse here

#Monsterdon

I like how the big bad guy is doing the Napoleon hand. #monsterdon

Only two genders? How quiant
#Monsterdon

Show you the ropes? This one is a quarter-inch safety line, these are all 1/2 inch halyards...

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

“Why can’t my mutants be intelligent?” Indeed #monsterdon

Sador is an excellent leader.

#monsterdon

I KNEW it

#monsterdon

PRANGLE HIS TRANSISTORS

#Monsterdon

what does the barbelt do to your belt theory @Keiraleesharonart
#Monsterdon

Yes the Space Cowboy has pictures of naked ladies in his bunk. But also he has a dog calendar.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

:O not the CAPACITATORS!
#monsterdon

Bechdel test failed. More than that though, like, anti-passed #monsterdon

@sealawyer I have a hard time believing any of this is not a joke

#Monsterdon

okay, computer lady and sexy valkyrie lady is a couple i can ship. #monsterdon

THAT BELT BUCKLE DRINK MAKER

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

oh my goodness
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

omg the cocktail belt buckle

“They have nothing if we COLLAPSE THE PLANET FIRST!” #monsterdon

He keeps *ice* in his belt!?

#monsterdon

Dear fuck man, stop drinking!

#monsterdon

Virgin raised by cyborgs is adjusting really well to being around a bunch of humans all of a sudden! I’m proud of her
#monsterdon

scotch ....

and piss

#monsterdon

You need Bass to destroy the enemy guys, BASS

#monsterdon

The ~~Bandits~~ Malmori only have 25 fighters, and the discussion of the stellar converter sounds distantly inspired by the Seven Samurai bandits only having a handful of guns...

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Pre-digging the graves, eh?

#Monsterdon

ok the theremin digger is cool but why do we need trenches for a war in space #monsterdon

ZOMG I NEED A XYLOPHONE INTERFACE FOR MY COMPUTER #monsterdon

"They never bring out the stellar converter until [set of conditions that absolutely did not precede the stellar converter's previous usage]"

Yea, sure, whatever.

#Monsterdon

All of these naturally occurring pits have VERY VERY straight edges :thonkery:

#monsterdon

This movie's aesthetic would be surrealism except it is too boring.

#Monsterdon

r. vaugn, finally realizing what movie he's in.
#monsterdon

"Right now your offer looks very attractive to me... A meal and a place to hide."
That's a baller line. Wait maybe he's the greatest samurai? Shoot I forget half the cast of Seven Samurai. I really need to rewatch it.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Cayman is giving G’kar vibes #monsterdon

@Keiraleesharonart I dunno if anyone could take more than 90 minutes of this lol

#Monsterdon

And, so, our hero returns to his home planet, having assembled a rag tag gang of miscreants, who will somehow save the day and fight off the most fearsome force in the galaxy.

Okay.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon the prima noctor victim got vaporized

Hey @randy_s, "Serpent Juice" is a good name for a cocktail.

@SarraceniaWilds
@Keiraleesharonart

#Monsterdon

Not the swiftest henchmen in the galaxy...

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I knew I'd seen these effects before! This movie did so poorly, they reused the effects in #SpaceRaiders!
#BattleBeyondTheStars

The creep zips up his shoulder as he comes up... Is THAT where he keeps it? #Monsterdon

Granted the "gathering the team" parts of Seven Samurai and Magnificent Seven are also kinda aimless. But you got a little bit more character than just cloches in them. This is just all over the place. But I guess a 90 minute run time only gives you so much room. So ya gotta speed run with cliches.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

22. This practice is called 'negging'. The movie has passed the 'two female characters to demonstrate the director's fetish' test

#Monsterdon

Dials a random drug, doesn't take it, did Nancy Reagan write this
#monsterdon

That poor lizard man is wearing a lot of prosthetics

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

the ship looks like a busty ithorian #monsterdon

21. Jet plane sounds in space. That is all.

#Monsterdon

Gelt never got over Macho Grande.

#monsterdon

He already knows he shouldn't do. He said it was the worst thing in the world.

#Monsterdon

Space Valkyrie? No more questions. Let's go, movie.

#monsterdon

Who died and made you Space surgeon General? #monsterdon

Yeah I'm smoking a movie. I have to say it's bad for the MPAA

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

this movie's plot is the inspiration for the parts in Final Fantasy games where you meet new PC's #monsterdon

Oh the spaceships and sets and lighting are so good and moody. I love a good cheeey movie made by people who care about the craft.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

It's Valkyrie Barbie!
#monsterdon