That was a legit clever bit about no pain tolerance. But I feel like the bandits bio/medical shenanigans were under explained?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Whoa, white man group going for the throat. respect

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Ok the glove joke is very funny
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

ha ha arm transplant fights transplant recipient trope!

Sador has a kink for wanking with an alien arm instead of his own, tragic really....all this genocide....

#monsterdon

So to recap: we had a cross-species arm transplant done in the space of about ten seconds

Yeah sure why not

#Monsterdon

OMG! These dudes are going to be able to control that arm, aren't they?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars so everyone knows who did the special effects for this movie early in their career right?

These pale hive-mind people obviously have different hair styles under their hoods.

#monsterdon

28. According to the credits, the characters in this movie had names

#Monsterdon

why aren't they fighting right now?
#monsterdon

It’s good to have skills - brilliant! #Monsterdon

Seven space ships plus bad guys and lots of cockpit shots might be too much for good flow of these space battles. I think the editor is having a headache.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Docko.

Sador.

Cayman.

Corman is good at naming characters.

#monsterdon

Not the pink chain saw!

#monsterdon

"He's good at creating pain. While keeping the person alive."

"It's good to have skills."

HAHAHAHahaha omg that was actually funny

#Monsterdon

"A minor planet in a third rate galaxy."

Ok.

#monsterdon

"...that's Doctor Donnie Darko to you.”

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

#monsterdon do you have a high tolerance for pain? What's the safe word?

The surgeon's name is Doc-o? #Monsterdon

"This is my surgeon, Docco."

:facepalm:

#monsterdon

I guess the Nestor are kinda 'drones'.....

#monsterdon

okay, "a meal and a place to hide" belongs in a much better movie. #monsterdon

Surely they have some bacta or a cleric who can cast cure light wounds?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down."

Uhhhhhhh OH YOU MEAN LIKE IN FLAMES OKAY

#Monsterdon

@sealawyer WHAT #monsterdon

I don't know any of these characters enough to feel bad for any of them, but I definitely know I don't feel bad for the mass murderer on the team

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Make that meal pizza

#monsterdon

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down."

#Monsterdon

@sean Oh yeah good point, this movie appears to be heading toward something that would presumably be intended as denouement

It feels strange

#Monsterdon

Live fast. Fight well. Have a beautiful ending.

James Dean reference?

#Monsterdon

"Have somebody prepare a meal. From him. Yes, from his corpse."

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"No violent ending is beautiful."

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down."

I stand by what I said earlier: https://don.monster/@ramsey/113818849079208231

#Monsterdon

“You’ve never seen a valkyrie go down”

#monsterdon

It is good that the drone pulled out.

#Monsterdon

Still laughing uncontrollably at the Bynars' oompa loompa dance. My belly hurts #monsterdon #battlebeyondthestars

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🌌 TRIVIA BEYOND THE STARS 🪐

As production was being planned, a Hollywood trade newspaper reported that "John Wayne would star in the film, under the direction of Ingmar Bergman".

No one has admitted being behind the joke.

#BattleBeyondTheStars

Checkovs Valkyrie

#Monsterdon

@sealawyer I know, just end at a random moment, already.

#Monsterdon

She has no right nipple

#monsterdon

Was that... An actual character beat there? #Monsterdon

They're all ill, QUICK MOAR PROTEIN

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Those who live by the sword die by the sword. RIP Zed
#monsterdon

Spandex butt shot

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Oh, two for one in the spear lauching, nice job!
#monsterdon

“Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.” #monsterdon

Went down like a boss...

Zeb has ended.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

OK I just figured out old guy with staff is meant to be blind but he sure got some good clanky whacks on that other alien's noggin before he got lasered to death

"the kelvin have no ears"
oh would twer that i was them.
#monsterdon

The protein tank? That's where I keep all my bacon!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Horner totally reused that part of the score in Krull. #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Walking flamethrowers.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world!

The protein tanks? Are you going to throw the aliens into your meat vats?

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou That is a pretty remarkable omission what with all the spaceships and such

#Monsterdon

if i survived a directed energy laser blast by jumping over it i would never shut the fuck up about it #monsterdon

bless the strange world of the Kelvin....

#monsterdon

No ears will protect their skulls from being spit open

#monsterdon

The author John Sayles also wrote Piranha, Alligator and The Howling and the director Murakami made Heavy Metal after. So something else must’ve gone wrong. #monsterdon

oh they're made of firefiles, how pretty!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I'm pretty sure "sonic weapons" cannot be defeated by covering your ears with your hands. Also the immediate mention of a sonar weapon. Are they the same weapon?

#Monsterdon

They have an LRAD!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"we will all be killed"
and so he was. thank god.
#monsterdon

Yes, squeezing tanks into narrow unmaneuverable trenches is exactly the strategy you should go for

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

my understanding is that this is supposed to be seven samurai in space but just doesn't really pull it off...

#monsterdon

27. According to wikipedia, this movie "receiv[ed] mixed reviews from critics" This means that someone review it positively

#Monsterdon

Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew
#Monsterdon

@sean Granted this is a marked improvement from earlier

#Monsterdon

OG Battlestar Galactica phaser fire effects #monsterdon

with a knife to my throat I could not tell you what was happening

#monsterdon

This is like a LARP where everyone agrees it'll be faux Star Wars but then insists on building their character around what costume they most want to wear

#Monsterdon

Oo, got him right in the lime pudding pocket #Monsterdon

They're all graduates of Storm Trooper Weapon Academy.

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

The torque bar line reminds me of when we found out how Kaylie joined the crew of the Serenity.

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

why does bad guy bother to send down invasion troops when he promised to blow up the entire planet if they resisted?

#monsterdon

@SarraceniaWilds you are the hero #Monsterdon deserves

our young protagonist suddenly soaking in sweat airplane! style #monsterdon

THIS IS VIETNAM, BOYS #Monsterdon

I’m getting x-wing vibes #monsterdon

So this Sador guy has been unconquerable by whole systems and galaxies(!?) but 7 plucky people ships and some tits can do the job?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Watching this and thinking about what makes the Star Wars space battles so much more effective. I think a whole bunch of it boils down to having windows in the cockpits. The actors are doing the same thing in both cases, but if you can see the outside world in the close up shots, that brings it all together in a way that this movie just can’t afford to. #monsterdon

"Have a nice fight"

Okay, I'll give to the movie, that's a pretty hard line. It was absolutely not earned, but I respect what they think it was doing.

#Monsterdon

one time for a gore gorp themed houseparty i took the baggie of wine out of its box and stuffed it into a hydration pack as my whole costume, with the spigot out the bottom and all night drunk bloody hikers drank my butt juice.

so i can relate to piss whiskey cowboy on a level most cannot.
#Monsterdon

It's like someone wrote a screenplay for a porn parody of Star Wars, and then someone else got hold of the screenplay and said, "No. We can rework this into a serious movie."

#Monsterdon

And THAT is why you don't mount the warp core behind your head. #Monsterdon

NUCLEAR MISSILE!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I'm like 80% that head-on approach was supposed to be like a one-strike duel in a Samurai film

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Almost Luke is a bit drippy

#monsterdon

Can't tell which character's in which spaceship, don't care #monsterdon

Bye Gelt! #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

OK I will grant that some of the spaceship effects are kind of cool

Some

(engines, not weapons)

#Monsterdon

There should be only a single credit for this movie ….. COCAINE.

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

"Uh-oh, nuclear missile"

#Monsterdon

I was looking at the feed that I'm minutes behind. Why the heck is the ground subsiding? Did they dig valleys with a theramin? WTF!?
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

i'm not sure whether i love the nestors or am 100% creeped out by them, but they're just about the only part of this movie to make me feel anything, so i guess they can stay. #monsterdon

Is that guy playing keyboards or shooting? #monsterdon

Attaboy Shad. You've just betrayed your culture's belief system by taking a life. You're gonna burn in space hell.

#Monsterdon

its just so hard to imagine a human sitting down and typing up all this

#monsterdon

@apLundell Space camp fire!

#Monsterdon