And so begins a series of picking up uglier and uglier ragtag spaceships.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon lol this is where Snider got his plot for Rebel Moon, battle beyond the stars has better pacing already

if I had been seeing this in a theater I would've left and snuck into see a different movie like 20 minutes ago

#monsterdon

Not from behind!

#Monsterdon

why does this ship even need a pilot then?

#monsterdon

"No! Not from behind! No!"

That's what he said/she said.

#monsterdon

"oh that's just Nell" #monsterdon

Wait, they have the Confederacy? Is this the future?
#Monsterdon

so the goofy laser sound is supposed to be funny tho, right? I can't tell which parts are supposed to be funny

If any

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I love motherships with random blinking bullshit. So many blinking beeping and flickering bullshit! I love this bullshit! :)

wish dot com-ass klingons

#Monsterdon

This is a Unix system! I know this! #Monsterdon

SLAPSTICK! IN! SPAAAAAACE!!!!!

#battlebeyondthestars #monsterdon

why does this guy look like a card carrying member of the church of latter day saints

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon She has lots of toy boys but you can be her boy toy. Of course creepy daddy will be watching.

They saw that mouse droid on the Death Star and said, "I can beat that!"

#Monsterdon

Why does that android have glasses?

#Monsterdon

Mimes need jobs too

#monsterdon

They really forgot to give the guy a neck
#monsterdon

Battle Beyond the Stars was inspired by a previous Corman flick called Battle Beyond the Sun which featured a vagina monster fighting a penis monster. Battle Beyond the Stars give us The Boob Ship.

#monsterdon

That doesn't look like the most precise tool in the android-builder's toolbox.

#monsterdon

YOU ARE NOW ON THE RIDE, REMAIN SEATED #monsterdon

"i'm not an android"
coulda fooled me.
#monsterdon

11. A smart person would not get into a random autonomous chair that approached them in an empty space station

#Monsterdon

The director REALLY liked Star Trek The Motion Picture.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Bit rude to dock without permission kid.....

#monsterdon

I've always wanted to retire to a gigantic and mysterious old space habitat, go old and weird....

#monsterdon

The ship is cussing? She's a sassy ship. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I don't like that ship

[legally-distinct soundtrack swells]

#Monsterdon

10 minutes in and I already want #TeamJohnSaxon to wipe out John Boy's character 🤦🏻‍♀️ #Monsterdon ✨ #BattleBeyondTheStars

hey look it's Almost Star Wars font!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Tip your hand? You're about to be blown up dumb dumb

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I see bad guys can't shot here either

#Monsterdon

Why is *he* necessary, exactly? Never seen a farmboy to do a sassy sapient spaceship's job.

#Monsterdon

Fuck your varda pacifism kid!

#monsterdon

pewpewpew YES!
#monsterdon

I appreciate that we didn't waste any time around the village and got right into space

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"rather than lay down and submit, we must do something"

Not Earth then

#monsterdon

A flying hunk of junk? You don't say. Now where have I seen that before?

#monsterdon

Why does Nell The Spaceship have BOOBS?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ #Monsterdon ✨ #BattleBeyondTheStars

It's almost Luke Skywalker am I getting this right?

And Nell is almost like C3PO, I think I am getting it now

#monsterdon

You? You’re a boy, John Boy from The Waltons

#monsterdon #battlebeyondthestars

This Luke has feels very Wesley Crusher.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"to fight creatures of violence, we must use creatures of violence"

oh boy, is this sort of thing happening around our silly planet right now.....seeing as that Galactic order is breaking down

#monsterdon

Nice Blaster Beam sounds from Horner, just a year after Star Trek The Motion Picture #monsterdon

Yep, this conversation is literally from The Seven Samurai

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"We must use violence" says the old man with a cane wearing a long button-down sweater...

#monsterdon

This movie really wants to be Star Wars so hard doesn't it

#Monsterdon

Fuck the varda!

#monsterdon

You? You're a boy!

Yes. Yes, a John Boy.

#monsterdon

They’re sniping from the ship‽

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon There's a Wilhelm…

I need that crystal alarm #monsterdon

This civilization isn't all that advanced with clothes

#monsterdon

This firing sequence inspired by the death star

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

This is why your planet needs a strong orbital defence grid....

#monsterdon

EAT DEATH SPARKLES WEATHERMEN!

#monsterdon

Quite an opening. Music isn’t bad (James Horner did some music for Star Trek).

This is my first time watching.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

They have some serious beep-boop noises in this film

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ✨ #BattleBeyondTheStars

PRO: John Saxon in funky makeup

CON: John Boy Walton in the lead role

I shall be knitting during the movie to dull the pain. 🧶

Yep, this ship is inspired by the opening sequence of A New Hope

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

See you, Space Cowboy.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

It's time for THE BATTLE BEYOND THE STAAAAAAAAARS~ Iiiiin Spaaaaaace~~~
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

smoke rings of DOOOOOOOMMMMM

#monsterdon

Everyone should take a moment to think about the deep world-building in tonight's #monsterdon

On Akir, they live a strictly pacifist life, as dictated by the rules laid down in the Varda, their holiest of books.

The first rule is "Use greater strength against itself"

The second rule is "You can take life to save life."

The third rule is "That which is not organic must not harm that which is."

@Lazarou @catzilla Or maybe "Fanny Packin Bourbon" #monsterdon

anyway good job team and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@catzilla Probably out of fanny-pack bourbon anyway #monsterdon

I do believe this is the most fun I’ve had in a long while.

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie that was my fear too 😬

#monsterdon #soylentkelvin

@diazona The Tubi version had credits but it just cuts from one line of dialog to them so fast. It feels like they just forgot to leave any characters alive to write an ending for.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@ranjit I’m not so sure they were put in there to revive. #Monsterdon

Apparently the Valkyrie actually did have a name, Saint Exmin

#Monsterdon

@diazona

Space Blue Lagoon would be the only logical follow up...

#monsterdon

Wait. They are blowing up the space boobs? Thank you for this great sacrifice titship.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

So basically we're left going back to the repopulating the space station plan.

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

@Lazarou @SnoopJ @Taweret i love buckaroo banzai! #monsterdon

@ramsey @apLundell Wait, Corman had outakes? Corman had _takes?!_

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

That felt like a very active #Monsterdon tonight, I couldn't keep up with the feed ^^

ha ha ha, when the movie finished, the roku app autoplayed Magnificent Seven next #monsterdon

@strangefour it’s his handle. Like The Bandit or Rubber Duck. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Good night, John Boy Shad!

That's a wrap.

@allanb same #monsterdon

my favourite guys were the living safety vests with the poses that kill you instantly
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

I'm going to live forev!

#Monsterdon good fun though. just the right amount of cheese

Why were these people invading again?

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

Wait her name is just "space cowboy"? Like he doesn't even know any other name for himself... That's dumb and sad.
Not even "i'm a space cowboy from earth." He is just "space cowboy"
Well see you insert name here.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon bwahahahaa that was _not_ good, as i remember :D

@helianthropy

Yep. This was all a dream in Newhart's head.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

there were some interesting character ideas in this movie, like the heat dudes, unfortunately it was like they just threw them all in a grab bag #Monsterdon

@ramsey @miriamrobern The ending is definitely not the first thing from this movie that comes to mind as being big and beautiful

#Monsterdon

@hollie i'm hoping that this hypothetical kid grows up to invent glowing lucite xylophone interfaces for computers

#monsterdon

Space boobies go boom! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon John Saxon said, "I'll live forever," and the way he doesn't seem to age from role to role, I believe him!
#BattleBeyondTheStars

Shad’s last reaction: Still need to show this girl the ropes.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@strangefour GRECIAN WANDERING NIPPLES

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars