eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

#Monsterdon

Oh no. They are going to torture one of the brain guys.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I do like that space cowboy got a ship equipped with CB radio #monsterdon

"Space Cowboy from the planet Earth" has real "Cowboy Bebop at his computer" vibes

#Monsterdon

Wait, those aren't buttons. You control the Nestor ship by sticking your fingers in holes?

#monsterdon

shit this guys got TWO orbs to ponder
#monsterdon

Idk if I’ve ever seen a 70s/early 80s movie with a romance plot that didn’t make me cringe with visceral disgust, idk why. The kissing is just… ick
#monsterdon

the arm scene was weirdly dark for a movie that also has the cowboy and porn valkyrie in it

#monsterdon

"Remember, what you do in this ship I see..."

"I know...."

#monsterdon

Daka making jokes with the other doctors later

"Were you there when he tried to kill himself?"

"I had a hand in it"

#Monsterdon

So far, the remote control arm scene is the best we've had. Yow.

#monsterdon

Almost worked...

#Monsterdon

wait is this suddenly evil dead #monsterdon

The arm transplant is the MOST RANDOM thing ever

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondtheStars

“Dako is a specialist in inflicting pain while keeping the patient alive.”

Oh, a dentist?

#monsterdon

(Like, someone dieing slowly like that works great if your movie is set in like 1500-1600. In this SF setting...)

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Thankfully Vaughn is in a better place now, he got out of the movie.

#monsterdon

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down?"

Yeah, no double entendre there at all.

#monsterdon

"My wounds would have been survivable but this guy just keeps pouring water on me and doing nothing, why Zed? Why?!"

#monsterdon

I. I want to see a Valkyrie go down. #Monsterdon

You will now be known as "pizza face" but everything will be fine

#monsterdon

shad being a dick to valkyrie makes no sense. he was happy for all the other characters' help no matter what their reasons #Monsterdon

Okay I know the boob lady is ridiculous but I kind of love her. She's rocking those costumes and that HAIR. Whoever played this committed to the role.

#Monsterdon

Discount Kevin Sorbo with the spear.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"No violent ending is beautiful"? Clearly he missed firefly death a couple of scenes ago.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

oh wait, it's an AI, it fakes grief

#monsterdon

hold on... is that John Boy? #monsterdon

Oh yea, right, Zed, that's his name.

Zed's dead, baby.

#Monsterdon

He was the last of the Jedi. I mean, the Great Ones

#Monsterdon

ZED'S DEAD BABY

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

the computer... got all emotional

#monsterdon

lol, "two minions with one spear"

"Priest turns to violence to defend his flock"

classic stuff

#monsterdon

oh noooo not the old man character we care about very much

#Monsterdon

This... this whole shot. Just everything...
Lizardman keeping warm with two warm aliens.
Roasting hot dogs on said warm aliens.
Sybil Danning changed her outfit and it's MORE ridiculous.
All the aliens.
Just everything here... Perfection.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"Get them to the protein tanks, hurry!"

A pork chop will revive them! #Monsterdon

just fucking T-posed and blew everythign the fuck up damn
#monsterdon

Now you’re cooking w/ Kelvin #monsterdon

"For one thing, the Kelvin have no ears...."

Everyone in #Monsterdon suddenly jealous of the Kelvin

Fun fact: the writer won the Genius Grant three years after this movie

#Monsterdon

Apparently their retroreflective shiny coats turn people into purple glitter!

#monsterdon

I don’t think the writers quite understand what pacifists are but idk
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

"Even if we plug our ears we can't get any closer!"

Cowboy: "I love it when a plan comes together!"

Oh, wait. Sonics. Run away! Run away!

#Monsterdon

left turn into starship troopers vibes now
#Monsterdon

Yes, gate shenanigans like in the better movie!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Unaccustomed as we are to close-quarters combat we would like to shoot you in mass quantities now, our apologies

#monsterdon

Green blood!

#Monsterdon

Oh, no, not the Napoleon Solo!

#monsterdon

This movie is dumb. It is flawed. It is messy. It's badly written. But I think I love it.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Star Wars had two styles of ships, and they were color-coded.

In this film, every ship is completely different. It's hard to follow the battle.

#monsterdon

26. Some of the people who made this movie somehow went on to make other movies

#Monsterdon

It’s more amongst the stars, innit? #Monsterdon

Just saying we could have been watching Piranha right now

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Not sure if any ships engine or powerplant should be actively steaming like that. Unless it's running on a dodgy british kettle plugged into three-phase current… ;)

pewpewpewpewpew

xooom xxxxommmmm

Love it!

#monsterdon

@rebeld I'd love a space opera setting where for Reasons, the people have mechanical firecontrol computers.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Bisexual Valkyrie Lady is coming up behind though, her chaos bi energy there!

#monsterdon

I unironically love that the future gadget they gave the cowboy is a belt that dispenses alcohol, mixers and ice cubes

#Monsterdon

Were you bad when you were little?

I was born a bad man.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Mister? Are you a bad man?

No, I'm just drawn that way.

#Monsterdon

Battle Beyond the Stars? More like Battle Beyond Meat

#Monsterdon

So glad somebody said something to stop the impromptu harmonica melody

"The Future Will Have No Meat" is a bold statement I welcome though.

#monsterdon

OMG they’re doing a bonfire around the Kelvin!

#monsterdon

"There's no dog in this."

Okay, that was funny. #Monsterdon

Ahh, a classic space western scene

All the aliens are clearly bored out of their minds

#Monsterdon

Oh sadly the two ladies have set the #bechdelTest back a generation

#monsterdon

stop this now

#monsterdon

Oh good, I was worried they weren't going to be able to squeeze in a deeply uncomfortable romance scene, what with all the eighteen plotlines running simultaneously. Thank god >_> #Monsterdon

just two 😔
#monsterdon

ma'am, he has no idea how procreation works, don't ask him. #monsterdon

“I love it when a plan comes together…in space.” #monsterdon

Just 2 genders? How boring! #Monsterdon

Are they going to have to fly into a kind of channel/canyon on the enemy ship and hit a target no bigger than a womp rat?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon dude she's asking you to show her the ropes, dingus

Space Aryan swings both ways. #monsterdon

"Capacitators"

#Monsterdon

he... dispenses drinks via his belt??? i... #monsterdon

He is all of us. #Monsterdon

That halter looks like alien hands

#monsterdon

YES lady! fight back! take em! #monsterdon

i just tuned in here, but man does this swing wildly back and forth between "pretty decent visuals" and "what"

#monsterdon

The ship models and effects are strangely okay or even almost good. And only the one ship has to act and it's only voice lines!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

And then the death star^H^Hstellar converter killed them all. The end. #monsterdon

Lol I know it's supposed to be sexy that the scantily clad Valkyrie woman's captain chair puts her in a reclined position, but that means every shot is the boomer angle right up her nose with her neck all squished

#Monsterdon

Barbarella-ass character design. #Monsterdon

"i don't like anyone behind me"
i think this movie doth protest a little too much.
#monsterdon

Gelt's ship looks is running on a badly adjusted boiler, from the sound of it.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

“…I was born in space."
"Well, everyone is kinda, if you think about it.”

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

Oh casual misogyny, very rare in a monsterdon movie.

#Monsterdon

Now this is a costume.

#monsterdon

Valkyrie! #Monsterdon

What do you think john-boy is drinking
#monsterdon

She wants ... sex, right?

#monsterdon

LMAO i thought the henchmen are watching a space telenovela

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Wait, he has Plutonium in one of those treasure chests?

That is a bad thing.

#monsterdon

"I could buy your planet" is giving "I could buy Greenland" #monsterdon

Dude is hiring mercenaries but doesn't know what the word means.

#monsterdon

"We hurt others and then they ganged up on us and beat the crap out of us.....it's so unfair"

Actual countries on Earth do this

#monsterdon