#monsterdon Not sure if any ships engine or powerplant should be actively steaming like that. Unless it's running on a dodgy british kettle plugged into three-phase current… ;)

#monsterdon The Valkiri build their ships like Buick Cars. The seats are so sway-back that you might as well just take a nap, huh?

"errrr, thanks Earthman but you're too much of a ....'project' as the varda says"

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social probably some cool shit

#Monsterdon

This is a literal sausage fest

#Monsterdon

LOL they're all chewing

#Monsterdon

Oh sadly the two ladies have set the #bechdelTest back a generation

#monsterdon

Bechdel test clutches throat, falls to ground writhing, gasping for air

#Monsterdon

Welcome to some new 80,000 viruses in my mouth

#monsterdon

uuurgghhh, "will you teach me how they fuck on your planet"

#monsterdon

"Stick with me, you'll get an education."

🔥🔥🔥🔥

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I'm glad she clarified. 🤣 #monsterdon

ENOUGH, JESUS CHRIST

#Monsterdon

The belt is a joke right?
#Monsterdon

Good spaceship designs. #monsterdon

Valkyrie. #Monsterdon

I didn't think there would be so many white people in outer space

#monsterdon

@plantago "We're bored immortals looking for thrills!" deffo #monsterdon

omg that outfit

#monsterdon

Does he have gold pressed latinum though?

#monsterdon

And now it's space Avengers! Quite a range of participants in this flick.

#monsterdon

so the white dudes are a shout out to Woody Allen’s Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex?

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

just sitting in a treasure room, as you do, when you're waiting for eternity

#monsterdon

FOR THE THIRD TIME NOW

#Monsterdon

It's Space Vegas!

#Monsterdon

Everybody panic!

#monsterdon

They're a group mind, not clones....you bigot!

#monsterdon

The Blue Man Group, but White and with a third eye.
As it was meant to be in the Beginning

#monsterdon

NOT MIMES
#monsterdon

Now we're in THX-1138 land.

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

This ship is a polycule like the ones in The Expanse

#monsterdon

Alien has a thing for belts *caresses her belt*
#monsterdon

How does one communicate via degrees of heat though? wild stuff!

#monsterdon

Mac lasers? Ugh, they're probably not compatible with our chargers.

#monsterdon

I'd like some charge snides. #monsterdon

#monsterdon The spaceship exteriors are pretty excellent too, as long as they don't uhhhhh move

This is Han Solo from wish
#monsterdon

Scrotum ship, Twelve O'clock!

#monsterdon

Great shot kid, now don't get cocky!

#monsterdon

"It's a damn stupid rule" Hehe, robot goes rouge!

#Monsterdon

Is that a VT100 terminal in the space Cowboy ship?

#monsterdon

Lol, the AI took over and killed somebody...

#monsterdon

Oh I see it's almost Han Solo. This is GREAT!

#monsterdon

Did not expect a Confederate flag in this film. #monsterdon

No slavery flags, thanks

#monsterdon #battlebeyondthestars

#monsterdon The androids are very compliant. So compliant they just walk into a barricade. Now the trap itself was not-following-ballistic-sense but hey, we can just get on with it.

The dude is a bit Steve Bannon really......

#monsterdon

"Hey lady, you ever seen a REAL Man before?"

Begins to cry because he has a soul

#monsterdon

Ah yes, we need to repair the caroling bot before wassailing time has ended

#monsterdon

If the computer is sophisticated enough to tell him everything he needs to do, why doesn't she just do it herself?

#Monsterdon

Old girl??? That’s rich coming from a john-boy
#monsterdon

"You cannot resist me"

*Provokes resistance*

#Monsterdon

This movie is good schlocky B-movie fun, my starship has it's drive primed and ready for adventure....

#monsterdon

@helianthropy Welcome aboard! The cheesier it gets, the better the comments. #Monsterdon

@Infoseepage Nah, this is a Corman film, if Star Wars hadn’t come out, something else would have and he would have done a low rent version of that. #monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie
Gelt: gets buried with a hot meal
Kelvins: hot, get to be a meal

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I blame Varda #monsterdon

@strangefour it really does slow down. the first half was pretty fast! then the second half took four times as long. (or felt like it etc)

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

okay i was skeptical but #monsterdon was hella fun

I think I remember why I forget half of this movie.
The spaceship designs are great. The rag tag alien collection has some neat ideas. Seven Samurai IN SPACE is a fantastic concept.
However the pacing is abysmal. The movie should come together as it goes on but in the end it just gets messier.
I liked it as a kid. I still sorta like it but it's wearing it's flaws all over it's face.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@diazona @strangefour

Can confirm. The ending is pretty quick, but it's not mid-sentence at least.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I stand by that Nell(the Boob Ship) was the only real hero of this film #monsterdon

https://officemarx.party/@crazypedia/statuses/01JHEQWQ68AM5N85HE9KRK2AHR

At least we got to watch this week's movie, and not just have it described to us by a bunch of boring people in a pub.
#monsterdon

The best thing about #Monsterdon is reading all the toots coming into my feed. Sounds like everyone is having a blast, not so much from the movie as the togetherness.

You made me laugh too! 🤣

:mastodon:

Like Jack Palance before him, John Saxon has blown up as a mad space dictator.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@CactuarJoe there were some little touches that were cute: I liked the whole hot dog bit with the Kelvins and the Borganics (whatever they were called). #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Give me 12 aliens too many and space lasers movie over a dreary army guy + lady scientist alien movie any day

#Monsterdon

Thanks @Taweret! It was so perfectly and wonderfully awful!

When do we get to watch PIRANHA?

<bounce>
<bounce>
<bounce>

#monsterdon

Another fine entry into the category of movies where everyone worked really hard on it except for the writers and the actors. Goodnight #monsterdon, and thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

#BattleBeyondTheStars

@SnoopJ so many plot lines and so few resolutions #monsterdon

Darlanne Fluegel feels like the real odd name out in those credits. #Monsterdon

Boom! Now THAT’S what I call an Abrupt Ending!
#monsterdon

Almost all of us are dead and we have but one escape pod left but WE DONE BLOWED UP THE BADDIE! We can live happily ever after now!

THE END

What a fantastic disaster blend of every 1970s and 1980s pop SciFi movie ever made distilled into 100 minutes! This #Monsterdon was so terrible it was awesome! Thanks for hosting @Taweret !

very strange experience to have an insomnia in the middle of the night in Europe, to post something vaguely serious about a book you just started to read, abd see that everybody else seems to enjoy a #monsterdon party about a movie you'd never heard...

OK I know sudden endings are no stranger to #Monsterdon but the video file ending mid-scene before credits is a bit much

#Monsterdon

In final summary of this movie: ( o )( o )

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@CactuarJoe your version too, huh? #monsterdon

Nell saves the movie.

You only needed Nell.

#monsterdon

well, my memory of it was better than the movie itself.

Thanks, @Taweret for proving the frailty of human memory.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon my god that was a bad movie

We survived to the credits! Well done everyone. #monsterdon

He chooses the very last minute to actually act “i want to live forever”
#monsterdon

Nestors 3-5 didn't even get a credit.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

So ends another #Monsterdon. Thank you, @Taweret for hosting; thank you, posters and lurkers. And remember, #Monsterdoners: Live fast, fight well, and have a beautiful ending.

Literally laughed out loud at "But St. Ex-Man! And Cowboy!"

#Monsterdon

fuck this guy's Psychology Today-ass religion #monsterdon

oh shit the copy we had just ended

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

wow great film

#monsterdon

Would be funny if she ejected the pod before they were on it
#monsterdon

you can't just do a double beat in the third act like that. wtf

#monsterdon

"...I wanna live forever. 🥺"

You got me movie, I really thought you were going to give him a dramatic NOOOOOO of anguish

#Monsterdon

"we're all gonna die"
well the audience shouldn't be the only ones.
#monsterdon

@bunnyhero At least in this movie ChatGPT blew itself up

#Monsterdon

Okay, Nell with dementia failing to count down is kind of darkly funny

#Monsterdon

Oh man the Sleestak bought it.

#monsterdon

I kinda gave up paying attention, nothing in this movie makes any sense #monsterdon

nell gets dementia, so we're just gonna blow her up? rude.
#monsterdon

Did nell just call him "ted"?
#monsterdon

if this were a mel Brooks movie the payoff would be the boobs on the ship doing something

#monsterdon