Maybe her species nipples migrate when in combat?
S C R E A M
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

That was one of the movies of all time.

Definitely one of the highest-production stinkers we've watched, and it cannot be denied that the narrative had ambition, but despite so many Events occurring, very little happened in that movie.

Have a nice week y'all

#Monsterdon

"THIS IS SADOR OF THE MALMORIE, AND I HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH MY MAKEUP." #monsterdon

I saw Battle Beyond the Stars multiple times back in the day, it was a staple of sf con movie rooms.

Its dork factor has not subsided.

See y’all next time.

#monsterdon

29. The movie actually ended, some of the characters survived, as did the careers of several involved. No sequel has been made in the last 45 years.

#Monsterdon

@miriamrobern Everyone has to have their big, beautiful ending.

#Monsterdon

welp tx to @Taweret 👍☄️🚀
#Monsterdon

The Nestors didn't really have (much) skin in the game but they delivered.

#Monsterdon

Why was St Exmin a saint? For what reason was she beatified?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

One of Corman's greatest gifts was spotting talent before anyone else and getting it at cut rate prices. This movie is a prime example of that. Thanks to everyone for another great watch and thanks to @Taweret for hosting. #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@Lazarou Yup. Oh well. #Monsterdon

my copy of this has credits fwiw #monsterdon

Imagine if Star Wars hadn't come out and this had...Would this have been Star Wars?

#monsterdon

@Taweret I prefer that ending, as opposed to say awkward Ewok dancing and feasts (of what meat)?

#monsterdon

ok, so i'm often like "you know that had some unexpected merits", or even "that was actually a pretty decent film in its own right" but i'm struggling a bit here.

#monsterdon

"again, we have survived. again, we are defeated." #monsterdon

OK, ship is totally blowing apart, but inside the bridge it looks like stage fireworks. #monsterdon

...my copy seems to be missing the credits. And maybe a scene or two.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

false advertising. this all was in no way beyond the stars. it was near to many stars, the whole time
#Monsterdon

Oops, Internet Archive copy is missing like 30 seconds of movie.

Tracking down that 30 seconds was absolutely not worth the time I spent doing it.

#Monsterdon

kinda sad for Sador, We only wanted to live forever, and got blown up by a spaceship with boobies.
#monsterdon

Also, in the good movie, didn't some of the samurai survive?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

No celebration, just grim remembrance.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon classic monsterdon ending
Its over, that's a wrap, goodnight

They will always be part of us. Now get the gick out of the theater, we ain't paying for another reel

#Monsterdon

That ending was the suddenest of sudden endings. Not even a Hallmark Movie kiss to send us on our way.

#Monsterdon

since i've been rewatching severance i just hear "they are all now part of kier" #monsterdon

Oh thank goodness they didn't even get around to landing the escape pod. It's just over

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

...No credits or anything? That's just it? #Monsterdon

THE END.

#monsterdon

Wait, did the planet blow up? I'm unclear on who survived

#Monsterdon

The first law of the Varda is no shoes, no shirt, no service #monsterdon

A little bit of Imperial March there. #Monsterdon

we already did a suicide attack tho

we just did that

#monsterdon

haha oh no
#Monsterdon

well, they did get right that AI has trouble with basic counting #monsterdon

An expedient escape pod appears! #monsterdon

I'm going to program the sentient computer to self destruct the ship...did you ask the ship for her permission for that...

#Monsterdon

...You think they'll come out the nipple? Or the butt? #Monsterdon

Nell has amnesia!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

like if you're gonna put boobs on the ship, there should at least be an epic comic payoff

#monsterdon

that's one overweight XO

#monsterdon

Laugh! Laugh maniacally! oh, and sweat a lot.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Space cowboy from the planet Earth!

#monsterdon

no not nell! monsterdons bloodthirsty soulmate!
#Monsterdon

Everyone knows the score - it's evil laugh time and no one gets to sit it out.

#Monsterdon

This #Monsterdon better end soon we're running out of good guys and are completely out of plot

“Give Sador a harrumph!” #monsterdon

MANIACAL LAUGHTER!!!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

OH NO BAD GUYS LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY

I admire the careful cinematography tricks to avoid showing Saldor's right side and what must necessarily be a missing arm that doesn't hold up.

#Monsterdon

he may be a shitty man to work for but at least he's all jolly when they win

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Akir is mine! Everyone hoot and holler like seals!!

#Monsterdon

Noooooooo the sexy ship's AI is damaged 😭 😭 😭

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

What is the first law of the what.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Wow, #JamesCameron really went all out with these starship models!
#BattleBeyondTheStars

[booping continues] #monsterdon

SHUT.UP.WESLEY #monsterdon #battlebeyondthestars

There’s a symmetry here, with every character leading with their backstory and motivation, and then the main character summarizing their motivations again at their death.

I mean, it’s not good. But it is symmetrical. #monsterdon

the first law of Varda is thou shalt not talk about Varda. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Nell, shut up about the Varda.

"full thrust" heh

#Monsterdon

so, that's it for the lizard people then? #monsterdon

This man is an ATTACK HORN! #monsterdon

are you sure you can handle full thrust, john boy?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

The harmonica is good when used in counterpoint to other instruments. On it's own it's a bit meh?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Unlike any other Earth ship, the cowboys ship just gleefully and slowly just burns. Doesn't explode, nothing dramatic, just a slow campfire inside the ship.

See you Space Cowboy… #monsterdon

I love when all of #Monsterdon notices something at the same time, like the Valkyrie's questionable anatomy.

#BattleBeyondTheStars

I wonder how much of "Space Cowboy" being drunk was "acting" #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

somewhat more jet energy than spike energy
#Monsterdon

If the cowboy is going that fast the continent he crashes into won't survive, let alone him, yet.....

#monsterdon

I feel there's a whole category of Engineers Who Build Hand Controls That Make Sense For Piloting Aircraft out in the world, who watch movies like this and just point and scream the whole time

#Monsterdon

@apLundell @Taweret thus my quip about exploding herself with a magnifying glass

#monsterdon

porn valkyrie's battle cry is just her screaming at the top of her lungs like she's a toddler in a ballpit #monsterdon

ugh die already

#monsterdon

@north already on it! #monsterdon

Wait, The space amazon girl set her ship to collide with the bad guy's super weapon. Ok. That's a noble sacrifice.

But then she ejected right before impact. Ok, that makes sense too.

But then she exploded anyway?

#monsterdon

"Space cowboy from the planet Earth"

That sounds like a line from Futurama

#Monsterdon

I'm not watching, but I've seen #battlebeyondthestars many times.
It's a guilty pleasure. Especially the Valkyrie.
#monsterdon

I wanna find out how wild this 'Lambda Zone' is, I feel like we only scratched the surface

#monsterdon

Rest in peace you fabulous space slut. You had a beautiful ending. :blobcry: #Monsterdon

sorry I can't watch #monsterdon with y'all. I've seen this one a bunch, since I was a kid. love it in all its weird sci-fi star wars-stealing camp.

hope y'all have been loving it.

I just want everyone to look at space boob's costume and realize that someone had to SEW THAT. People who have never tried to sew a garment before don't appreciate the work it takes to coax fabric to curve around a shape, and BEHOLD HOW MANY CURVES ARE SHAPED UPON.

That costume team is bad ass.

#Monsterdon

The Valkyrie shriek!

#monsterdon

"Retreat behind the sun!"

All units, don't turn in front of the camera or they'll be able to tell your arm is just tucked into your vest! #Monsterdon

does valkyrie have some sort of want? is she a magical girl!? no wonder she's changed outfits. (good for her!) #monsterdon

Why did she blow herself up?

#Monsterdon

Wait what just exploded

I don't even know anymore

#Monsterdon

i appreciate that that the force field control is one of those plasma bulb thingies that radioshack always had sitting out in the early 90s

#monsterdon

Apparently this ship is fly by plasma ball

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

If only overconfidence were on the Bingo card

#Monsterdon

The space battles aren’t really compelling, but I do have to say both that the model work is quite good for the budget, and the sheer variety of ships and ship controls is fun. #monsterdon

I wish more things were controlled via plasma ball

#monsterdon

*pew pew* intensifies

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon in the words of my generation, up yours!

Begin Death Star Ignition Sequence #monsterdon

Does... Does the Valkyrie's spaceship shoot lasers that sound like mouth harps?????

#monsterdon

SPACE SPEAR! Hell of a way to die in a scifi movie. Spit roasted with the guy behind you.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars