WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon There's a Wilhelm…

I need that crystal alarm #monsterdon

This civilization isn't all that advanced with clothes

#monsterdon

This firing sequence inspired by the death star

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

This is why your planet needs a strong orbital defence grid....

#monsterdon

EAT DEATH SPARKLES WEATHERMEN!

#monsterdon

Quite an opening. Music isn’t bad (James Horner did some music for Star Trek).

This is my first time watching.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

They have some serious beep-boop noises in this film

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon ✨ #BattleBeyondTheStars

PRO: John Saxon in funky makeup

CON: John Boy Walton in the lead role

I shall be knitting during the movie to dull the pain. 🧶

Yep, this ship is inspired by the opening sequence of A New Hope

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Wow this really is almost like Star Wars!

Thanks, Roger Coreman, You're the best!

#monsterdon

See you, Space Cowboy.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

It's time for THE BATTLE BEYOND THE STAAAAAAAAARS~ Iiiiin Spaaaaaace~~~
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

smoke rings of DOOOOOOOMMMMM

#monsterdon

Everyone should take a moment to think about the deep world-building in tonight's #monsterdon

On Akir, they live a strictly pacifist life, as dictated by the rules laid down in the Varda, their holiest of books.

The first rule is "Use greater strength against itself"

The second rule is "You can take life to save life."

The third rule is "That which is not organic must not harm that which is."

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou @catzilla Or maybe "Fanny Packin Bourbon" #monsterdon

anyway good job team and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@catzilla Probably out of fanny-pack bourbon anyway #monsterdon

I do believe this is the most fun I’ve had in a long while.

#Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie that was my fear too 😬

#monsterdon #soylentkelvin

@diazona The Tubi version had credits but it just cuts from one line of dialog to them so fast. It feels like they just forgot to leave any characters alive to write an ending for.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@ranjit I’m not so sure they were put in there to revive. #Monsterdon

Apparently the Valkyrie actually did have a name, Saint Exmin

#Monsterdon

@diazona

Space Blue Lagoon would be the only logical follow up...

#monsterdon

Wait. They are blowing up the space boobs? Thank you for this great sacrifice titship.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

So basically we're left going back to the repopulating the space station plan.

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

@Lazarou @SnoopJ @Taweret i love buckaroo banzai! #monsterdon

@Lazarou @SnoopJ @Taweret oh this looks ridiculous and amazing

#Monsterdon

@ramsey @apLundell Wait, Corman had outakes? Corman had _takes?!_

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

That felt like a very active #Monsterdon tonight, I couldn't keep up with the feed ^^

There's ten minutes left? Wait are all the alien space ship samurai dead?
Oh it's not Seven Samurai. It's Rogue One.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

ha ha ha, when the movie finished, the roku app autoplayed Magnificent Seven next #monsterdon

@strangefour it’s his handle. Like The Bandit or Rubber Duck. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Good night, John Boy Shad!

That's a wrap.

@allanb same #monsterdon

my favourite guys were the living safety vests with the poses that kill you instantly
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

I'm going to live forev!

#Monsterdon good fun though. just the right amount of cheese

The moral of the story is if you follow your dreams you can't expect audiences to understand one bit of what you came up with #monsterdon

Why were these people invading again?

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

Wait her name is just "space cowboy"? Like he doesn't even know any other name for himself... That's dumb and sad.
Not even "i'm a space cowboy from earth." He is just "space cowboy"
Well see you insert name here.
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon bwahahahaa that was _not_ good, as i remember :D

@helianthropy

Yep. This was all a dream in Newhart's head.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

there were some interesting character ideas in this movie, like the heat dudes, unfortunately it was like they just threw them all in a grab bag #Monsterdon

Incredible matte paintings, like Neverending Story level, very enjoyable

#Monsterdon

@ramsey @miriamrobern The ending is definitely not the first thing from this movie that comes to mind as being big and beautiful

#Monsterdon

@hollie i'm hoping that this hypothetical kid grows up to invent glowing lucite xylophone interfaces for computers

#monsterdon

Space boobies go boom! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon John Saxon said, "I'll live forever," and the way he doesn't seem to age from role to role, I believe him!
#BattleBeyondTheStars

Shad’s last reaction: Still need to show this girl the ropes.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@strangefour GRECIAN WANDERING NIPPLES

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Maybe her species nipples migrate when in combat?
S C R E A M
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

That was one of the movies of all time.

Definitely one of the highest-production stinkers we've watched, and it cannot be denied that the narrative had ambition, but despite so many Events occurring, very little happened in that movie.

Have a nice week y'all

#Monsterdon

"THIS IS SADOR OF THE MALMORIE, AND I HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH MY MAKEUP." #monsterdon

I saw Battle Beyond the Stars multiple times back in the day, it was a staple of sf con movie rooms.

Its dork factor has not subsided.

See y’all next time.

#monsterdon

29. The movie actually ended, some of the characters survived, as did the careers of several involved. No sequel has been made in the last 45 years.

#Monsterdon

@miriamrobern Everyone has to have their big, beautiful ending.

#Monsterdon

welp tx to @Taweret 👍☄️🚀
#Monsterdon

The Nestors didn't really have (much) skin in the game but they delivered.

#Monsterdon

Why was St Exmin a saint? For what reason was she beatified?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

One of Corman's greatest gifts was spotting talent before anyone else and getting it at cut rate prices. This movie is a prime example of that. Thanks to everyone for another great watch and thanks to @Taweret for hosting. #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@Lazarou Yup. Oh well. #Monsterdon

my copy of this has credits fwiw #monsterdon

Imagine if Star Wars hadn't come out and this had...Would this have been Star Wars?

#monsterdon

@Taweret I prefer that ending, as opposed to say awkward Ewok dancing and feasts (of what meat)?

#monsterdon

ok, so i'm often like "you know that had some unexpected merits", or even "that was actually a pretty decent film in its own right" but i'm struggling a bit here.

#monsterdon

"again, we have survived. again, we are defeated." #monsterdon

OK, ship is totally blowing apart, but inside the bridge it looks like stage fireworks. #monsterdon

...my copy seems to be missing the credits. And maybe a scene or two.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

false advertising. this all was in no way beyond the stars. it was near to many stars, the whole time
#Monsterdon

Oops, Internet Archive copy is missing like 30 seconds of movie.

Tracking down that 30 seconds was absolutely not worth the time I spent doing it.

#Monsterdon

kinda sad for Sador, We only wanted to live forever, and got blown up by a spaceship with boobies.
#monsterdon

Also, in the good movie, didn't some of the samurai survive?

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

No celebration, just grim remembrance.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon classic monsterdon ending
Its over, that's a wrap, goodnight

They will always be part of us. Now get the gick out of the theater, we ain't paying for another reel

#Monsterdon

That ending was the suddenest of sudden endings. Not even a Hallmark Movie kiss to send us on our way.

#Monsterdon

since i've been rewatching severance i just hear "they are all now part of kier" #monsterdon

Oh thank goodness they didn't even get around to landing the escape pod. It's just over

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

...No credits or anything? That's just it? #Monsterdon

THE END.

#monsterdon

Wait, did the planet blow up? I'm unclear on who survived

#Monsterdon

The first law of the Varda is no shoes, no shirt, no service #monsterdon

A little bit of Imperial March there. #Monsterdon

we already did a suicide attack tho

we just did that

#monsterdon

haha oh no
#Monsterdon

well, they did get right that AI has trouble with basic counting #monsterdon

An expedient escape pod appears! #monsterdon

I'm going to program the sentient computer to self destruct the ship...did you ask the ship for her permission for that...

#Monsterdon

...You think they'll come out the nipple? Or the butt? #Monsterdon

wow just gonna causally blow up his computer gf 😔
#monsterdon

Nell has amnesia!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

like if you're gonna put boobs on the ship, there should at least be an epic comic payoff

#monsterdon

So those tractor beams are useless if they just turn on their engines?

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

that's one overweight XO

#monsterdon

Laugh! Laugh maniacally! oh, and sweat a lot.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars