There’s some very budget stuff going on here, but I appreciate the detail of the bizarre alien juice box. #monsterdon

"I eat serpent 7 ties a week."
#Monsterdon

...That ship has ass-dimples >_> #Monsterdon

Robert Vaughan is about to ask Johnboy if he prefers snails or oysters. #Monsterdon

20. Someone had the idea for this movie. They talked someone else into giving them money to make it. Others then accepted that money to act in it, make costumes, create a model ship with breasts, etc.

#Monsterdon

What we have a force field? Why didn't we use that earlier?!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I can't help wishing David McCallum were cast alongside Robert Vaughn

#Monsterdon #ManFromUNCLE #DatingMyselfAgain

If you think his offer looks attractive, wait til you see his ship, Nell.

#monsterdon

Oh. Nestor is the greatest swordsman aren't they. They are the best there is at what they are.
This has proven very lonely. Very dull. We believe you have a phrase for it... Bored to death."
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I hate Nell’s voice acting so much

#monsterdon #battlebeyondthestars

@ricci crappy effects, baffling script, must be #Monsterdon

I also eat serpents seven times a week.

#Monsterdon

Outer space hummingbird. #Monsterdon

Watching John Boy sip from a straw is unexpectedly disturbing. #Monsterdon

oh look, it's a space bi-plane @Taweret

key: think fun!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Everyone in this flick is doing this because they're bored?

I mean, I'm sitting on the sofa watching this with imaginary friends, but still.

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

Why did they give John Boy a grenade-shaped juice box with a comically teeny straw?

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

"I'm Up Here" 30-Minute Poll

CORRECT ANSWER:

BAND-AIDS

(probably snatched from first aid kit)

Size doesn't matter.

#Monsterdon

Wow, what a coup, he got the creepy loner obsessed with gold to help them fight the zombie army, his family will be thrilled

#Monsterdon

@strangefour She's on her way. Oh. There she is. #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@apLundell
#monsterdon

I'm watching a different movie (King's Man) and I haven't been following the hashtag so not sure if it's already been said, but surely this movie is trying even harder to be The Seven Samurai _and_ The Magnificent Seven!

Napoleon Solo will save them!

#Monsterdon

"I dunno, but it looks like a pair of garden sheers"

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Everybody is in this! #Monsterdon

and even then I feel like an AI could handle basic story structure better than this

#monsterdon

actor friends tell me playing over-the-top roles is an absolute treat. I can see why.

if someone walked up to me and said "play this ridiculously over the top, we'll pay you scale or better" I'd take the role!

#monsterdon

My pitch? It's a spaceship named Nell.

Wait. Wait. You said *P*itch. Sorry.

#Monsterdon

"Gelt"? The guy surrounded by treasure is called "Gelt"? How many fucking Jews worked on this thing

(it's okay I can say this I'm Jewish)

#Monsterdon

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon Pitch? Okay, so hear me out: Twins meets Jurassic Park! No, how about Coming to America meets The Transporter?

#Monsterdon

This is way bigger than Waltons Mountain!

This is a very elemental man #monsterdon

So.....is the serpent....good?

#monsterdon

What's the exchange rate for Cadmium?

#Monsterdon

You're supposed to recite the elements to the tune of I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General.

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

Wait, I missed how he ditched the idiot Cowboy #monsterdon

So they have weeks but not years?

#Monsterdon

Cadmium isn't worth that much...

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon qualine crystals? Is that where quaaludes come from?

Nice blue and clear glass necklace on the mob boss. #Monsterdon

I missed Robert Vaughn in the credits. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon oh God I wish I hadn't watched Rebel Moon, watching this male version the latter even qorse

yes, but do you have any molybdenum? #monsterdon

Don't forget to drink your Qualine Crystals #monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

19. Someone made this movie for some reason

#Monsterdon

I'm an absolute amoral asshole that pissed off whole federations of planets. I'm the best mercenary there is but you're only going to get me and no one else because no one will work with me

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

"I settle disputes very quickly"

In the Solomon's decision sense?

#Monsterdon

with Dick Cavett as the Shady Guy #monsterdon

because like if you asked an AI to write a star wars knock off, this is what you would get. just a jumbled mess of tropes with no sense of direction or tone or character development. just a bunch of stuff happening

#monsterdon

Oh my gosh, is it a oompa-loompa on a throne?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Only one bunker left, and he's in it.

How many of the samurai have we gotten to? We must be like halfway through.

#Monsterdon

There's nothing left but me

What the actors said when they put the cast together...

#monsterdon

18. This movie is half over

#Monsterdon

Han Solo's blaster also had a scope.

#monsterdon

Oh, they got chased off by a Homeowner's Association. Yeah, they can be pretty nasty. #Monsterdon

@aburka contemplating necrophilia I thing :ablobgrimace:

#monsterdon

Wait I could almost swear this guy in the throne is the one who's trying to kill them

#Monsterdon

@ArtifexUmbra It's a wee bit blue shifted! --dad #Monsterdon

the lower forms, you know. buttpads are our most popular item.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Oh, my bad, there are aliens, they’re just zombie prostitutes, I guess. #monsterdon

sure, its a ruin, but its a JAZZY ruin #monsterdon

This guy totally looks like he would've invented a dial-a-drug machine.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

holy shit how is this guy just sitting there like that

HOW DID YOU NOT SEE HIM ON HIS THRONE OF LOOT

#monsterdon

Quite the coup getting Robert Vaughn to play essentially his same role in "The Magnificent Seven" #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

This is why you don't keep your date waiting

#Monsterdon

Ah, Stupid Sexy Zombies #monsterdon

Don’t accept a drink of curaçao blue from random clone dudes #monsterdon

She's let herself go.

#Monsterdon

Aaaand ... John boy knows exactly what drug to dial.

Just saying.

#Monsterdon

THERE HE IS, ROBERT VAUGHN! HI! #monsterdon

It's like Dial Before You Dig but for drugs I guess. #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars1980

wicked witch of the east has... oh

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Just going to flip some switches and buttons and then put whatever the hell that is in your mouth. They really did send the worst person

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I didn't realize the melty-face bad guys hated destination weddings so much #monsterdon

Why did they put the Nestor with worst makeup up front? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon doin' windex shots with the dad from my big fat greek wedding

Space Tinder

#Monsterdon

oh great, this stupid universe has jizz too! EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE JIZZ #monsterdon

man the net's UI has really gone downhill since the Logan's Run days

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

So the dial a date is an organic who is somehow still alive? Undead? Or is she a cyborg that rotted? :flan_yikes:

#Monsterdon

“I seem to have stumbled across a sick eurorack setup…” #monsterdon

Maybe don't put the random pill in your mouth, buddy. MrYuk isn't on this planet to help you.

#monsterdon

“Smilax.” Makes me think of Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. Is this a genus name? It is!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

What. Is. This. Music. #monsterdon

Okay Dial A Drug is something I could see existing today

#Monsterdon

they got the blue gatorade its a good sign. beings of taste and distinction.
#Monsterdon

@strangefour I just made a Custers last stand joke on #BaroqueSun but probably not for the same reason #MonsterDon

#monsterdon

Galvatron. Is that you?
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@ramsey The ship didn't give that away?

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

It's sort of easy to view this as schlock now, but I wonder just how many other productions got greenlit and inspired by it.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon and those dudes are Paxleds.

Well, that’s one way to get in.

#monsterdon

DIAL-A-DRUG
DIAL-A-DATE

DIAL-A-DUDE-ON-A-THRONE

#Monsterdon

is this music diagetic? are we about to have a weird cantina scene? #monsterdon

I would not want to make the web slingers capable of surviving radiation storms, tornadoes and lightning like that

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

boobship being pursued by Aragorn's ghosties
#monsterdon

"Sador, Sador of the Malmori?!"

Looks like she nailed that Provoke roll.

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

Can we drop a nuke under these manholes and launch them into space

for funsies

#Monsterdon