Heh, uh

guys

I can see the stage lights

I'm not COMPLAINING, at least it's more Zarkorr, but, uh ^^;;

#Monsterdon

...Did we miss some character development or something? Why's he acting like a hardass now? #Monsterdon

Always with the penetration with these films 9_9 #Monsterdon

I love how all this super technology in the film is now just the everyday technology of our Authoritarian Super-State

#Monsterdon

I honestly don't know how to take this "hacker" part. #monsterdon

I wonder if a TV deal was part of getting this movie funded. I believe it was direct-to-video, but it's cut up like it's meant to be broadcast.

#Monsterdon

Oh, good, they found an ACTUALLY MAD HACKER.
"Hacker is a demeaning term. I prefer Cybernaut."

OH SHIT this movie is Fediverse. Did @thegibson write this? Is he the guy?

It'll take a while, they have lots of shitty conversation to sit thru. Oh, making fun of the EPA, great.

Paperwork. Great.

OH HEY DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS A MONSTER IN THIS MONSTER MOVIE‽ I ALMOST FORGOT!!! YEAH, FUCK NEW MEXICO!

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

no seriously, a dude in a rubber suit wrecking a styrofoam mini set is a breath of fresh air compared to that last scene

#Monsterdon

I wonder is Zarkorr is dating anyone?

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

This movie is so bad I'm hanging in there to see just how bad it gets!

#Monsterdon

"he's a hacker" oh no

#monsterdon

WHAT AM I WATCHING #monsterdon

A tautology is a tautology.

#Monsterdon #TeamZarkorr

"I can probably force her."

Okay, NOW he's a believeable cop. #Monsterdon

George, when you say something makes perfect sense to you, NOBODY feels better about it.

#monsterdon

"Larry, I love you--"

😀 ?

"like an older brother"

😞

#Monsterdon

Okay okay okay, I know I've been shitting on this movie a lot, but "Larry, I believe him" made me laugh pretty hard.

#monsterdon

The Black Cop's resume had the bullet point "Can shout, really loud"

#Monsterdon

I hope someone's having fun with this TV station hostage, because I think we're going to be here for a while.

#monsterdon

one might say
he's going

postal

#monsterdon

We may need to update the USPS motto:

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor Zarkorr..."

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

What about weaponized incompetence?

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

"We're superior beings, so we can do whatever we want to you."

Great, the universe is ruled by moral techbros. :/

#Monsterdon

This really feels like some film student found a video rental store that had the entire Ishirō Honda filmography, binged it all in a weekend, and then realized he had a finals project due.

#monsterdon #karkorr1996

yayy, giant pencil prop!

but if she's a projection, then what threw the pencil to him?

fucks sake movie...

#Monsterdon

Zarkorr cannot be defeated.

-THE END-

#Monsterdon

This is like the teens who remade Raiders in their backyard but Godzilla and worse. #Monsterdon

Ha ha ha, a cryptozoologist :D

I love that there was a brief period in the 90s where everybody pretended cryptozoologists and parapsychologists were actual scientists :D :D :D

#Monsterdon

Uh.... they are clearly trying to do a Robocop style satire with the news.

Trying.

#monsterdon

"Stan, I'm getting word now from this lock of hair I'm hooking behind my ear that we have a man live on the scene."

#monsterdon

The world's most average man being a white loser from New Jersey says a lot of things about the Writer..

#Monsterdon

this dialog is 10/10, no notes.

#monsterdon #zarkorr1996

Man, Teenage Alien is really a downer. #Monsterdon

"Avalanche."

#Monsterdon

Tonight's Monsterdon snack is another bag of Sweet 'N Spicy cones that I have been looking forward too since Friday

#Monsterdon

The snake puppet has had more screen time than Zarkorr already.
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent

Big thanks to @Taweret for another Full Moon Entertainment extravaganza! The titular kaiju definitely carried the film, though it was still a struggle.

Smoking, don't think we had coffee drinking though it looked like there were coffee cups on the bar at the diner. Gratuitous waving around of firearms.

Fun Kaiju footage (a couple of folks I know were on the effects crew, which I did not know beforehand).

When Zarkorr wasn't on screen, it was ... bad. Needed more crush, crumble and chomp. And more stomping.

#Monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

RE: https://mstdn.social/@davesdogmaggie/116830976038321460

Proper Monsterdon experience, job done!

#Monsterdon

In full agreement that the best part of the movie is the end credits. #monsterdon

Now class what did we learn by watching a Full Moon entertainment movie?
That's right, Charles Band want to hurt us. He's done it before, he will do it again.
#Monsterdon #Zarkorr

Aaaand, that's it. Just hold the mcguffin and the movie ends. You did it, Tommy, you ended the fucking movie! The key was not inside the monster. No closure with the aliens.

Why is he hospitalized? Will they finally remove his brain, or give him one?

Kick-ass music video over the credits, where was THIS in the movie?

♫ ZARKORR! ♫

★☆☆☆☆
Is this the worst Full Moon movie ever?

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

That movie sucked, but I did have a laugh. The #monsterdon crew helps.

The reporter tells Tommy that there's a movement to draft him to be President of the USA, which he shrugs and says he'll go along with. I guess we have done worse. Much much worse.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon This was totally a money laundering sort of thing. We're all dumber for watching it. I love it.

okay so wait who's dating who now?

#Monsterdon

He wouldn't be the worst president we've had

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

oh so he sort of reflected its laser beams and it fucked off back to space. cool movie great climax #monsterdon

are you fucking kidding me that was it?

#Monsterdon

She called the thing they put in the trunk a "sphere". I imagine the prop department didn't quite read the script. It's more of a giant metallic toilet flapper valve.
#monsterdon

God I hope the last 15 minutes of this film are ALL ZARKORR

#Monsterdon

these city smashing scenes are missing shots of panicked crowds

#monsterdon

Them sneaking off with the alien artifact and loading it into the trunk is pretty funny.

Anyway, time for the abusive cop to out-abusive cop the Sherriff in some Local vs. Federal cop trope.

#Monsterdon

Can

can we move on from this scene please

please?

#Monsterdon

Experts from the *checking notes* State Department

uh huh

#Monsterdon

Is that how you pronounce "foci"?

#Monsterdon #Zarkorr1996

ellipses are famously constrained only by their loci

hackerman

#Monsterdon

You’re a crypto-zoologist! Quit thinking it's a robot or a beam of light.

#Monsterdon

oh thank god zarkorr is here to blow up more models

#Monsterdon

Okay. This scene is AMAZING 😂

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

"CYBERNAUT"

Surprisingly modest, I was expecting ELECTROWIZARD

#Monsterdon

what are the spinning ♂️ and ♀️ logos on the TV about?!

#monsterdon

Now we are in Warehouse District, New Jersey, and we have a Star Trek font.

#Monsterdon

"Read the bible" okay the pieces are starting to fall into place about George

#monsterdon

"Moses didn't like it either."

Yeah, go forth and part the bad film. #Monsterdon

They're really going to get their money's worth from this rented cop car, aren't they?

#Monsterdon

"A postal worker, cryptozoologist, and a police officer walk into a bar..."

#monsterdon #zarkorr #zarkorr1996

This could be adapted in to a stage play pretty easy. But my God, why? #monsterdon

Noooo not cardboard Rutgers!

#Monsterdon

We have two cops. The black cop is smart and disbelieves the plot of the movie. The white cop is dumb and believes the plot of the movie.

#monsterdon

Invader Zim-core!

#monsterdon #ZarkorrTheInvader1996

No, no, this movie makes nonsense at all.

#Monsterdon

@srol The whole movie is only 75 minutes, how much stockholm syndrome should we realistically expect?

#monsterdon

Security Guard Buzz Cut really thinks he's the main character

#monsterdon

ROFL at the doctor saying "please just shoot him, just shoot him!"

#monsterdon

This guy should just load from a save

#Monsterdon

"Oh Christ"

This movie keeps stealing my lines. #Monsterdon

You know, every time I start having a little fun with this movie, they bust out the term "mall tramp" again.

#monsterdon

Spaghetti is gonna start flooding out of his pockets any minute now.

#monsterdon

"crisco zooologist"

hey can I keep that? that's good.

#monsterdon

@srol It made me think of Sean Connery in SNL Celebrity Jeopardy

"swoords"

#Monsterdon

WRPT, also the sound my cat makes when I wake her up unexpectedly. #Monsterdon

Okay Arthur Dent, better start running. #Monsterdon

So nobody in Newark's getting their mail today, I'm gathering

#Monsterdon

The way she pronounced the w in "swords" makes me think she might be reading these lines off of a cue card.

#monsterdon

This still feels better than that Ice Cube War Of the Worlds Movie...

#MOnsterdon

The University of Trenton is a safety school for students who don't have the grades for Miskatonic.

#monsterdon

@srol everyone likes to deride Ted Turner, but the man was responsible for Captain Planet and the Planeteers. And for that contribution, I’ll give him a pass. #monsterdon

A name drop for the Cartoon Network in 1996? Did Ted Turner put up the money for this?

#monsterdon

Oh lawd he invadin' (Zarkorr thread start)

#monsterdon

Oh shit the salt-shaker sized woman is back. I really have to stop buying those shitty street drugs.
#monsterdon

NEWARK NEW JERSEY?

#monsterdon

uh this is great but why do I get the feeling they are going to use their entire monster smash budget immediately and then it's going to get boring

#Monsterdon

Godzilla with Devil horns!

#Monsterdon

A midi main theme is always promising <3 #Monsterdon

ZARKORR! At the Disco #Monsterdon

Oh good there are people in this movie

#Monsterdon

Dramatic music! Kind of Godzilla sounding.

#Monsterdon

🐲 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 🐲

(where applicable)

#Monsterdon

Unexpected #Monsterdon bonus: a second Rockford Firebird sighting of the weekend! This time it’s a model being crushed by the rampage of #Zarkorr the Invader. #zarkorr1996

#weirdcarmastodon

Ting ting walla walla bing bang
#Monsterdon #ThunderofGiganticSerpent