What _scale_ is this?? Where in that lake did the yeti manage to scoop up a fish roughly five feet from nose to tail??
OK, yeti, combing Jane's hair with the fish skeleton is a little weird. Probably not a lot more weird than a fork in The Little Mermaid, but still pretty weird.
ewwwww fish hair
Okay, so after having his nipple fondled, the Yeti puts the Matched Set Children down. The Smart Daughter decides that the Yeti wants to eat them and so she wants to run away, but the Little Brother doesn't want to. Eventually they try diplomacy and offer the Yeti a fish to heal his gunshot wound.
Yeti Jesus said "the time when you only saw one set of footprints. It was then that i carried you."
#monsterdon
Yes, that was a long scene where the Smart Daughter fondles the Yeti's giant nipple and then recoils her hand in aroused horror.
That was a practical effects shot. We spent time on the giant hairy nipple model.
Okay, so the puny humans have run away, except for the Matched Set Children (who fainted due to fright) and the dog, who decided to keep barking at the Yeti. This attracts the Yeti, further scaring the children, but he decides that these tiny people are friends and also that he should pick them up.
This causes the other puny humans to run away, and the dog to run away in another direction. The Yeti decides to follow the dog because dogs are cool, carrying the children.
I like it how the Yeti hasn't moved very much in this rampage, but the people are running back and forth in seemingly random directions that don't seem to do a great job at putting distance between them and the Yeti.
"In a few moments the yeti will be regaining his senses!"
Somebody _please_ get that poor yeti about ten litres of espresso
Okay, so our ill-advised Yeti-thawing plan has succeeded triumphantly, and the Yeti (who looks like a godzilla-sized caveman) comes back to life and starts yelling.
His yelling is so bad it starts knocking the helicopter off course, letting the actors practice Star-Trek style bouncing in the seats. Eventually we close the window on the Yeti's prison phone booth box and the helicopter stops bouncing.
Oh, the Carmin Buranda or someting is a leitmotif!
MOVIE TRIVIA: The actor that played The Yeti also played one of the Crites in the movie Critters #monsterdon #jdvance
lol - the scale is all over the place. The frozen Yeti seems to be randomly sized so far.
The helicopter I guess drops a fancy ski lift chair, and departs a large curly haired gentleman on the grass, who disembarks, eats an egg at a picnic table and bothers the guy who was fishing fishing. It turns out the guy fishing is a Science Master, and the large curly haired guy is a rich guy who wants to recruit the Science Master for a trip to canada. The fishing guy says "no" but the audience thinks he will change his mind.
I paused a Jane Austen adaptation for this. It better be good! #monsterdon
@CactuarJoe The Italian film industry has a long history of dubbing. Apparently there are political, cultural, and economic reasons.
https://theconversation.com/the-political-history-of-dubbing-in-films-164136
Itβs gonna take a few weeks after this masterpiece for us to watch a movie and not think βmehβ, but weβll get through it.
Tonight's #Monsterdon movie left me with many, many questions. To wit:
-Why was it clearly filmed in Italian, dubbed into English, and then *subtitled back into Italian*?
-Why was the whole soundtrack remixes of O Fortuna?
-Why was the first 70 minutes a kid-friendly Wonders of Nature thing while the last 20 were spent *BRUTALLY MURDERING HALF THE CAST*?
-WITH FEET
@davesdogmaggie @riedlr @ramsey I feel violated watching that. Thank you.
@Sorl I don't think the horseshoes were ever explained
@brooke If I ever win an oscar, that will be my acceptance speech
I'm wondering if the ending was implying that the Yeti was going to walk into the ice and freeze himself again, awakening for a sequel? Possibly awakening for a scifi sequel in the far future where the Yeti fights a giant octopus from space. Maybe. Who Can Say?
@OliviaVespera There was a station wagon during the Marketing Montage #monsterdon
@Newpa_Hasai Ah there we go πΊπ» https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQL2M8ZDp0w #monsterdon
honestly this is pretty much the ideal way to watch this movie. i've seen it a couple of times before but this time around was the most fun! thanks everyone and of course thank you @Taweret for hosting!! #monsterdon
@JoeWynne Okay, here they are:
The Yetiβs big
The Yetiβs tough
But heβs so good
He is so big
The Man of stone
But he wonβt harm you
The Yeti
He is so tough
The man of stone
But he wonβt kill you
The Yeti
These words are so true
After getting so invested in voting for it I was afraid that movie was going to be the bad kind of bad, but no, it was the amazing kind of bad. Goodnight #Monsterdon
let me see if i can get these lyrics
"peace, oh he
the man of smoke
but he won't harm you
the yeti
feels so dark
the plan of [???]
but he won't kill you
the yeti
we took [computers?]
not the yeti
we did the selfish
not the yeti
we could illegal
not the yeti
noooooo
"
#monsterdon
How do I rate this as a good and bad movie at the same time?
Also, is there a convenient way to get the soundtrack?
Realizing that the audience was still sad about the dog, the movie decided to inject a new Plot Twist; the Dog who was stabbed is still alive! He strides out and hugs the little brother, making the audience feel joy again!
The final scene is another crashing glacier; the Yeti walks into the Ice, tears in his eye. Extreme Tragedy. Much Feeling.
Then Extremely Kickass Early Electronic plays in the background as the credits role. #monsterdon
Another #Monsterdon is in the can!
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Tonight's feature, #YetiGiantOfThe20thCentury, from 1977, was full of wintertime adventure, including:
YayTee!Flamethrower defrosting!Bweep-o-scope!Yeeti nipple!Ye-aye-ti sushi!Yeeahti capitalism!Yeytee feet!Yeeayetee toe choke!Some other stuff happened, but it was kinda all a blur.
Eccentric Large Rich Guy appears and hugs the Little Brother who is his kid I guess. The Yeti screams at him while Dramatically Backlit.
The cops form a 19th century infantry line and get ready to shoot the Yeti, but then the daughter intercedes. Repressing her desire to again caress the Yeti nipples, she tells the Yeti to go back to the wilderness, because this world is not for him or something. Sadly, he turns away and vanishes into the sunset.
Yeti said that the cognitive test was easy, βGirl, boy, woman, man, camera, TVβ #monsterdon
Director: βWhy walk when you can ROLL?!β #monsterdon
Instead of βhand of godβ, we got βhand of yetiβ
#Monsterdon sirβ¦there is no Mountain in Torontoβ¦
Hamilton Mountain? Not a mountain, not in Toronto
I'm wondering if the Yeti's screams are more than just "AAAAAHHHH!!!" and are actually some kind of complicated communication in Yeti-language?
Maybe he's just asking where the Tim Hortons is or whatever.
@plaidtron3000 That one random woman who froze was a great scene.
The mute kid grew up to become Marilyn Manson
Is there not any oxygen in the air in Canada? #monsterdon
I think what'd really drive it home that the yeti is not doing well would be if we'd see his nipple deflate right about now
"Hello police? Yeah, send over two taxis and a couple Oldsmobiles. Thanks." #Monsterdon
Needing air conditioning is a nice touch, that feels underplayed.
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
@Lazarou Sleazy Men's Warehouse sounds about right for the clothing
#Monsterdon The outfits for the Caandian cops look like the blue version of the Illinois Naziβs from Blues Brothers.
Because he's a nice guy, the Yeti puts the daughter down, so she runs to a phone booth to tell the eccentric rich guy that the Yeti is nice and is following her around. The police surround the Yeti but decide not to attack it, I assume this is because this is canada and not the USA.
We learn the Yeti has decided to pass out in a warehouse; we think he's sick or something. The Fourth Doctor and Yellow Jacket guy come to investigate, bringing an odd oxygen machine to revive him.
@bunnyhero exactly!
he could've at least et a few of those shrieking crowd members
BUT HE DIDN'T
BECAUSE HE'S POLITE
So is the yeti overheating?
You all don't even KNOW how rare it is to see a movie filmed in Toronto that is actually SET in Toronto. And it's not even by Canadians???
No! Don't go in the booth! A helicopter will life you into the skies.
#Monsterdon #Yeti
Poor Yeeti. #monsterdon
@berniethewordsmith Nominated for the #monsterdon toot of the week
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Canadian funk
Meanwhile, in Canada, the people are celebrating the arrival of the Yeti with a parade. We meet the Eccentric Rich Guy at a lively outdoor press conference where everyone is watching the Yeti's phone booth being lowered to the ground, accompanied by Extremely 70s music.
After the Yeti is dropped, he stares at the puny humans. Some prim and proper ladies stop to admire his junk. Then some cameras flash and scare the Yeti so he starts stomping around and screaming.
In the next scene were are choosing the next CEO of "maple leaf enterprises" (whatever that is) at a poker game that is also an election involving a pot. This is actually a better procedure than I expected for picking a CEO. Like, a much better procedure.
After the votes are tallied up, the winner is revealed to be... Yellow Jacket Man! Surprise, the Jerk Character was not the relatable Male Jock Lead but actually an evil business guy the whole time!
[cryptid jive plays] #monsterdon
The yeti is surprisingly sanguine about being helicoptered over Niagara Falls while suspended by a single cable directly beneath the rotor.
"Toronto is honored to be the first to greet this ancient ancestor and is sure to give him a warm welcome."
*insert crowd scenes with implausibly light motor traffic*
Back in Capitalism, the Eccentric Large Rich Man is planning to make money from the Yeti somehow. I guess he'll pay people to look at the Yeti; he's probably not going to pay the Yeti, for which Karl Marx would like a word with him.
Karl Marx is not there though, so the Fourth Doctor objects on his behalf, by yelling at him in a video conference that the Yeti has rights and shouldn't be a publicity slave.
Chekhovβs CN Tower?
This is a two bowl movie for sure. #monsterdon
I only chose a gas station based on the mascot
#monsterdon
@ottaross I think the music quality took a down turn later in the movie; a couple themes are good but the "emotional" music is a little grating. All of it was over the top though.
Tarzan talk, the universal language #monsterdon
...I really did just see a procession of women wearing t-shirts with "KISS ME YETI" across the back of them, didn't I
We're at the hallucinogenic part of the movie, I see. I thought that was earlier, but by comparison apparently not.
Love the way she says "Yeeti" like that's his first name
@Lazarou #monsterdon
The dog is the smartest character by far.
Cliff, the YETI is stealing your girl with the old 'fish comb' routine.
A tale as old as Homo Sapiens.
@kb9ens This fish had a child #monsterdon
It feels like we've been watching this since Friday and there's still more than an hour to go. #Monsterdon
...why was that scene in this movie?
Use the younger child as a shield, you will make a good Oligarch when you're older...
So they're just stealing the whole plot from King Kong?
@wohali Hey, we learned the importance of bandages in C.H.U.D.!
If the Yeti ends up licking the girl I'm calling this one
After a lot of screaming and running away, one of the guys with guns try to shoot the Yeti, but the Fourth Doctor heroically stops him by grabbing the gun. The bullet pricked the Yeti a little bit but doesn't seem to have done much, and he walks toward the Fourth Doctor who was going to freeze there and make friends with the Yeti until Yellow Jacket Guy (no longer in a Yellow Jacket) pulls him away.
After the Yeti lands, we get a conversation. Yellow Jacket Guy has ordered some people to stand ready with rifles, in case the Yeti does an inevitable rampage, and Smart Daughter objects to this because the Yeti is a human being and has feelings and probably doesn't want to be shot at.
This argument is interrupted when a dog barks, waking the Yeti up, and he starts yelling, breaking out of his cage and doing a rampage.
Imagine waking up after your million year sleep in the ice and you're flying through the air. Doesn't seem like a calming experience.
Crew of Helicopter:
Yellow Jacket Guy (Male Jock Lead)
Fourth Doctor (Male Nerd Lead)
Smart Daughter (one of Matching Children, I think)
Helicopter Driver (possessed of beard)
Cargo of Helicopter:
Iced Yeti (possessed of dramatic beard)
[checks watch] #Monsterdon crew getting horny for the Yeti at 17 minutes in. What was the over/under on that?
MONSTER HOWL
I don't how the yeti is managing to destabilize the helicopter when he's suspended beneath it in an oversized telephone booth, but sure, why not
@plaidtron3000 they gave an explanation that the Yeti lived in the Himalayas, so they wanted to raise him to that altitude before thawing him. #monsterdon
giggling at the idea of that tiny little helicopter having to carry all of the water for this
Leaving aside the question of if thawing a giant Yeti is a good idea (it's probably not), the Yeti thawing plan appears to be
1) reduce the size of the ice block with flamethrowers
2) put the Yeti in a giant open box
3) lift the box with the helicopter to the altitude of the Himalayas
4) spray the Yeti with hot water until the Iced Yeti is a Normal Yeti.
"He flies through the air with the greatest of ease /
That frozen old yeti on the flying trapeze..."
βAs you know Bob, there was a plane accident and our parents diedβ
Unexpected filming locations. I guess we'll be seeing lots of Toronto landmarks of the 70s. Hmmm, 1977 might be a bit early for CN tower isn't it? Maybe just done that year?
Just shoot fire at it. Thereβs no reason to be cautious at all. #monsterdon
This thing is priceless! More flame throws!!
#monsterdon
Oh, for tuna!
Oh great, climate change is going to release giant yetis too.
the yeti is our ancestor, which is why we too vary, as one person, between 3 and 10 feet tall over the course of the day. #monsterdon
@allanb @riedlr @ramsey The Yayti facial expression PLUS the sticky nip hair. So many chef kisses. #monsterdon
Anyway, thence concludes my #monsterdon thread; as always thanks to @Taweret for hosting!