Yeti Movie Pros and Cons:

PRO:
* weird tragic plot line
* characters I could tell apart
* surprisingly mostly good soundtrack
* includes fun 1970s hardware, like "giant computer", "retro jitsi machine", "yellow cop car with two sirens like a star destroyer's scanner globes" and "awkward yeti oxygen machine"
* horny

CON:
* I'm confused what the evil plot was
* rampage scenes were awkward and strange
* why was the yeti screaming
* poor yeti
* horny

#monsterdon

I feel sad for the Yeti. Happy for the dog. Vindicated that the bad guys were crushed in various ways. Deeply disturbed by the scene I will NOT name. So many emotions... I require rest. I return to the glacier now for my long sleep.

Goodnight, monster people!

#monsterdon

Oh gawd. What a day to have eyes. #monsterdon

This is a Toho quality score. #monsterdon

@OliviaVespera

Why have 3rd act problems… when you can have 1st, 2nd, AND 3rd act problems! #monsterdon

This dog is the best actor in this movie and we all know it.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Thank you @Taweret for another lovely and actually kinda pleasant B-movie experience. I’m glad to have enjoyed this all with you folks.

The climbing scene makes me want to play Rampage (1986)

#Monsterdon #Yeti1977

Yeah, that's a standard-sized Canadian fish.

#monsterdon

Everything we know about Oligarchs confirms the plausibility of this Yeti expedition

#monsterdon

The sequel: #monsterdon

I give Yeti 4/5 giant nipples. It was, shockingly, a good movie, even if dragged in some parts and the rampaging bits didn't make much sense.

The music varied from "amazing" to "mildly annoying". I liked how the Yeti and the eccentric businessman were tragic characters, as was the professor, who was ruined by his desire to have a nice nap. The practical effects were neat. Also, it had a dog.

#monsterdon

I really like the scenes where the Yeti is sticking his foot through the apartment windows while he climbs the building, scaring the people inside. Nice crunchy practical effects and some fun reaction shots from the apartment dwellers.

#monsterdon

*yeti looks completely nonplussed walking around downtown Toronto near University and Queen, around City Hall, because even in the late 70s we still had not prioritized the walkability of that neighbourhood, leaving it only a few narrow sidewalks to accommodate a huge volume of foot traffic. And in this case a volume of huge foot traffic.*

#monsterdon

I’m beginning to have some questions as to the scientific underpinnings of this film. #monsterdon #evergreen

"As god is my witness, I thought yetis could fly!" #monsterdon

Starring J.D. Vance as The Yeti

#monsterdon #yeti #JDVance

And just like that, #monsterdon is over, and my feed is back to cats and reasons to hate the Ketamine Kid

Thanks @Taweret for a film that technically met #monsterdon 's high standards!

@k8eb: "I need people to know... Toronto does not have icebergs"

#monsterdon

The police cars are the "hut hut hut" of this movie

#monsterdon #Yeti1977

The most ridiculous thing so far is that a rich CEO cares about another human being

#monsterdon

Characters in this #monsterdon in order of likeability (so far)

Dog (best boy)
Yeti (did nothing wrong)
Matching Children
Fourth Doctor
Large Eccentric Rich Guy
Yellow Jacket Man
Sneaky Suit Guy (he will betray us)

#Monsterdon

Yeti gets very nervous during flights

#yeti #monsterdon

"Milk the YETI nipple, don't just stare at it, MILK IT!"

#monsterdon

I'm forever saying it "Yeeti", instead "Yeti" now, and with sadness and empathy like the haircut actress tonight.

#monsterdon

AND THAT'S A WRECK

The yeti fucked off into a part of the sea with a lot of exploding icebergs, apparently? The stabbed dog mysteriously returned from the brink of death, Jane is traumatized, Herbie is either traumatized or hallucinating or both, a whole bunch of goons were squashed and some condo towers are going to face a special assessment for the elevator and glass repairs.

That was *some kind of thing*.

Thanks for hosting, @Taweret! Thanks for the bingo card, @Cherizilla!

#monsterdon

All that healing hairspray is still on his hand!

#monsterdon #yeti

Once again, the dog is the best actor in the scene, such a good boy

oh hey ho, the YETI has increased in size again....

#monsterdon

Orchestra only knows 2 songs. The dog ate the rest of their sheet music #monsterdon

I feel strongly that at some point early on they should’ve had a production meeting in which they decided how tall this yeti is. #monsterdon #yeti1977

This is an emergency, let me pack my cozy blanket and this comfy chair
#monsterdon

"The yeti has been taken out of his natural surroundings, his environment. It's difficult! We must be prepared for everything."

Look, he's not breathing regularly because there is visibly no snow on the ground, which means it is HAY FEVER SEASON. Get that yeti some antihistamines.

#monsterdon

lol, cannot deal with the changes in scale, a minute YETI was twice the height of a bus, now he's popping out from behind an apartment tower, 50 ft high again

#monsterdon

Lots of fun scale effects here. #monsterdon

I withdraw my compliment about the score. GET A NEW SONG. #monsterdon

Why don’t ALL movie monsters comb people’s hair?

The Crites and CHUDs could learn a few lessons in manners from this yeti!

#yeti #monsterdon

My previous comment about "filthy Canadians" was entirely in jest. Please let me move to Nova Scotia.

#monsterdon

*ten minute montage of a frozen yeti being suspended at 10,000 feet from a helicopter that is also somehow defrosting him by running water over him, like a shrimp ring*

This soundtrack is working _way_ harder than the plot at this point.

#monsterdon

*frozen yeti is shown suspended on a gantry several stories tall*

I'm sorry, this thing is inarguably an evangelion

#monsterdon

Mmm. Canadian toasted meringue. Via flamethrower tossed by a flannel wearing man. #monsterdon

This is some quality dubbing… okay, not so much, but it just adds to the experience.

#monsterdon

Wow. The dog gets a byline! #monsterdon

#monsterdon

To whoever is in charge of choosing movies for #monsterdon -

Mimmo Crao was also in The Polyp – The Beast with the Death Arms, which was a real, actual movie that got made, not something I just made up.

Please, please, please put The Polyp on the list. We have to subject ourselves to it. We deserve it.

Toots that aged poorly:

#monsterdon

https://mastodon.social/@ohiofi/114175067106634725

wow holy shit that movie was fucking awful, 100/10 #monsterdon

Well that was truly a very Monsterdon movie, well done everyone!

#monsterdon

Look out, he's got a dildo rifle!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

The oxygen thing bothers me because the yeti has previously been established to live at like 0.7 atm.

#monsterdon #Yeti1977

I love how Crao chose to play the yeti as sensitive, but stupid

#monsterdon

@Taweret It's real cinema
#monsterdon

Movie learned a new song! It’s a funk remix of O Fortuna! #monsterdon

oh no. the shirts. nonono. #monsterdon

...lewd? lewd.

#monsterdon #Yeti1977

The orchestration is way over the top here, but I guess it kept some Italian orchestra members in gainful employment.

#monsterdon

"What is it Lassie? Herbie is trapped in the mine?"

#monsterdon

I bet nobody had nipple stimulation on their bingo card

#monsterdon

This dog is not scared or aggressive at all, they're having a grand old time galloping around outside with people! Look at that happy tail go!

#monsterdon

I'm also unclear why the Yeti rampage scene has both US and Canadian flags. I guess this is before our countries were enemies.

#monsterdon

In spite of my rage I am still just a Yeti in a cage

#monsterdon #yeti

After stopping the Yeti from crashing our helicopter (a difficult task, because yetis apparently love screaming and helicopters also love crashing), we decide to drop the Yeti box on the ground next to our giant crowd of people and let the Yeti out. He's still unconscious, so the camera pans all over his hairy body. If this was a different type of movie, then this is where we would see some monster ween.

#monsterdon

Imagine waking up after 1000s of years suspended from a helicopter above Canada
Poor bastard

#monsterdon

Nature must take it's course. Now shock his brain!!

#monsterdon

In the next scene, our intrepid Yeti extraction crew is doing more Yeti extraction, now raising the giant iced yeti with a crane; he's more human shaped and less block shaped now. The Fourth Doctor tells the audience that the ice preserved his brain function.

We meet another guy, yellow jacket guy, who I think is the Male Jock Lead character, besides the Fourth Doctor's Male Nerd Lead character. We learn that matching set children are siblings.

#monsterdon

Also shout out for how awesome the music is in this movie so far. I think the last Monsterdon with music this awesome was the Chopping One with the killer robots (or original Gojira, of course).

#monsterdon

CANADA FLAG SPOTTED

Thanks y'all

#monsterdon

In the next scene, the Fourth Doctor is walking into the flamethrower command center for a 1970s video conference with the Large Rich Guy, who is dressed more normal. We learn that the hairy guy in the ice block is indeed a Yeti, which in Canada is called the Sasquatch and this is a big discovery.

Another big discovery is that 1970s video conferencing equipment looks awesome. Shout out to clunky retro technology.

#monsterdon

I would like to say that the professor guy is giving Fourth Doctor vibes with that scarf. But he also has a yellow sock hat... so he looks like the Fourth Doctor who is also a fisherman.

#monsterdon

"The boss wants a monster he found in the Arctic to be our new corporate mascot, he's also designed this car......"

#monsterdon

This 70s Richard Hammond dude being lowered out of a helicopter in a leather upholstered throne has hair implausibly un-ruffled by the helicopter supposedly hovering above him.

#monsterdon

This DVD version we're watching here looks like it was VHS-taped off a TV broadcast that had been sitting in the back of a closet for about 20,000 years in an arctic glacier

#monsterdon

@iris "..a tale as old as time" #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦍 🌨️ 🗓️ 😱

Thank you, Monsterdonians, for making me laugh until I could not breathe. Also, thanks for choosing Indio's only film, apparently

Thanks especially to @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for bingo, @JoeWynne for trivia

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm12477391/

@OliviaVespera

Also… the Yeti gained a new power… the healing power of petting dogs. #monsterdon

Dollars to donuts the Yeti actor filmed all of his scenes in an afternoon behind a blue screen with the director yelling:

"Look sad!"
"Loolk angry!"
"Look HORNY!" #monsterdon

That was impressive. It more than lived down to the reviews. And what can one say about Mimmo Crao? Simply stunning.

#monsterdon

Just find someone who looks at you the way Yeti looks at the camera in close up.

#Monsterdon

Had a blast all!

#Monsterdon that was rather touching and heartfelt. I’m rather pleased. It wasn’t nearly as odious and the dog was fine with miracle yeti spit petting.

♫ He is so big ♫

♫ The Ye teeeeeee ♫

:hamsterdance2: :hamsterdance: :hamster_dance: :hamsterdance2: :hamsterdance: :hamster_dance: :hamsterdance2: :hamsterdance: :hamster_dance:

This was a blast, folks! Thank you to those of you who voted for it

#Monsterdon

And there go the Toronto glaciers, collapsing again.

#monsterdon

And in the end, she swiped left.
#monsterdon

Why is there a bedroom set in the warehouse?

#monsterdon

The Ontario Place complex wouldn't see a threat of this magnitude again until a certain Doug Ford staggered onto the scene and trashed the place forty years later.

(Ontario-specific political commentary)

#monsterdon

Oh hey, the Toronto Police are responding with alacrity to a violent crime in this movie?? I guess it's confirmed, none of the hired goons were gay.

(Sorry, I'm still pretty peeved about that systemic problem with our TPS.)

#monsterdon

they call him the yeeti because he will yeet you

#Monsterdon

He's like the Canadian version of Boss Hogg

#monsterdon

So many sleazy looking men in this warehouse....

#monsterdon

He's reported to be in the area.

It's a giant hairy monster, you dopes

#monsterdon

Okay, so the Yeti's rampage is abated temporarily, not by force of arms or the brilliance of science, but because he runs into a crying child and feels sad for it, so he stops rampaging for a minute. The Smart Daughter takes this opportunity to tut tut him for destroying part of Toronto; she does this while still in his hand, which is maybe less than smart of her.

The authorities are unimpressed, and summon their yellow police taxi cabs to arrest the Yeti.

#monsterdon

How do you hide a yeti? Switch him to a smaller scale?

#monsterdon #Yeti1977

Destroy the Union Jack YETI, smash the Empire!

#monsterdon

This disco version of the yeti musical theme would be so much more tolerable if it had no lyrics.

#monsterdon

Men will literally vote with their balls instead of going to therapy #monsterdon

It's well known that if you speak English stupidly, animals understand you.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Of it was true bactine it would sting like a bitch and he’d backhand her into Lake Ontario.

What the actual fudge am I seeing?

#monsterdon

So the yeti caught a five-foot-long fish?

#monsterdon