…also 10% off frames for a limited time.

#monsterdon

The message behind tonight's feature: disobey your optometrist at your own peril!

Brought to you by the International Guild of Optometry.

#monsterdon

"At the center of the universe" speech was used as a sample in a song?

I'm sure of it, but cannot remember what one.

#monsterdon

That was not bad at all. #monsterdon

I award Man with the X Ray Eyes 1 out of 5 contact lenses of cursed vision. It was a movie that approached being interesting but never reached it. I almost gave it 2 out of 5, because it wasn't completely incompetently prepared, but I am rounding down out of grouchiness.

The best character was the coffee vending machine.
The worst character was the casino, who deserved to be ripped off, because fuck casinos.
RIP monkey, you died too soon.

#monsterdon

You win this time American International. But I'll be back! #Monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXrayEyes

Well, that was a film.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
#XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

In the center of the universe is the eye that sees us all.
A line from Tolkien, no doubt. Sauron.

In Pathetic Color!

#Monsterdon

he was driven to destruction by the panopticon of the universe

#monsterdon

Random bleeding person with solid black eyes stumbles into your sermon which is in a tent in the middle of a desert it's fine perfectly normal #Monsterdon

That was sudden. Thanks, @Taweret for a fun ride that crashed terrifyingly. #Monsterdon

Lmao this movie went places

#monsterdon

Lol holy shit he popped those eyes out fast!!

#Monsterdon

Well that was fun 😀

#Monsterdon

Well. It was really weird seeing Don Rickles actually act. Because he did.

#monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

You'd think some of these Christians would have been at least a little unnerved by a guy with completely black eyes

#Monsterdon

kinda liked that one

#Monsterdon

NOOOOOOOOO

#monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXrayEyes

Given my physics degree I am legally obligated to mention that the universe does not have a center.

#Monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

Doc X stumbles out of the car and stares at things, and everything is more colorful because he sees stuff inside of it. He manages to shamble his way across railroad tracks then walks into a barbed wire fence, which he crosses in a quest to reach... um... the cars on the other side? Which are there for a church revival service in the desert? Which he shambles in as the preacher says "Hallelujah" a lot and starts saying church things, which the audience loves.

#monsterdon

Destroy the preacher with your Xray laser eyes dude!

#Monsterdon

Really the only thing missing from this movie is an 80 minute Radiohead song

#Monsterdon

Correct answer for poll is B - Tim Burton!
He got the most votes at 47%

#Monsterdon

You seriously have to respect their commitment to the bit that seeing more somehow makes you see super blurry tunnel vision instead of, you know, more.

#Monsterdon

What does he see when he looks at the ground?
#monsterdon

*camera switches from outside the vehicle to a POV shot from the doctor's lizard eyes, flips around a few times, and car crash sound effects play*

Ah, I was wondering how they were going to drive a car off a cliff in a $300,000 movie!

#monsterdon

the idea is cool but it's too bad the visual effect they use for his super sight is not great #monsterdon

@diazona @gnomon Exploding ducks would liven things up at least. #monsterdon

I think a better title for this movie might've been

"X: The Man Who Makes Poor Decisions"

#monsterdon
#XTheManWithXrayEyes

Not a real movie car crash. It didn't blow up.

#Monsterdon #ManWithXRayEyes

that's a pretty snazzy way to not film a car accident

#monsterdon

finally the road is safe again

#monsterdon

Uh oh, a helicopter. Something is probably about to explode.

#monsterdon

Budget suddenly busted by a helicopter scene. What's up, Roger Corman?
#monsterdon

@hollie Eh I'd say selective transparency still beats it by a pretty wide margin

#Monsterdon

Stuntman really punishing that car there...

#Monsterdon

What a cad, ditching your partner like that. Dirtbag.
#monsterdon

lol, love it when they throw money as a distraction, people are so feral!

#Monsterdon

If you ever get superpowers, using them to rip off casinos is a great idea, because casinos are jerks.

Unfortunately the casino gets suspicious of him for winning too much, and Doc X can't help but call out the cards in the deck to reveal his superpower, and the casino boss summons a cop. Trying to get away from the cop, Doc X's glasses get knocked off and sees technicolor skeletons everywhere.

#monsterdon

sees everything, understands nothing? is that the moral of this movie?

#monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

ooo, he's got freaky eyes!

#Monsterdon

He's about to find out whether he can see through the bag they put over his head

#Monsterdon

@nazokiyoubinbou @bstacey
Well you see it's... oh hell I don't understand this movie.

#Monsterdon #XTheManWithXRayEyes

Give your hustle away why don't you, idiot.
#monsterdon

"THIS TABLE IS CLOSED"

That's the Vegas we know, the Doctor's hubris is going to meet reality soon I think...

#Monsterdon

"They can't stop me from winning!" Doc, you're in for a very rude awakening.

#Monsterdon #ManWithXRayEyes

Dealer always stands on 17 unless your goggles are suspicious

#Monsterdon

"Man with big weird glasses seems to know the cards, sure we'll let this happen..."

#Monsterdon

Slot coins and poker chips are the same?
#monsterdon

@thatdawnperson The best I can figure out is that Doc X has control over how deep his vision goes when he concentrates but otherwise the level of X-ray vision he has is variable? And he can't keep concentrating all the time.

#monsterdon

The Mob are going to love his X Ray eyes hustle.....

#Monsterdon

"I'd give anything to have dark."

Well, you could just stop taking those magic drops.

#Monsterdon #XTheManWithXRayEyes

Pretty sure that high on the list of traits needed to pull off a casino heist is being unobtrusive

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou "The Man with the X-Ray Eyes won the Astronave D'argento ("Silver Spaceship") award in 1963 at the first International Festival of Science Fiction Film (Festival internazionale del film di fantascienza) in Trieste, Italy. The film contains a very salutary lesson concerning human hubris and the catastrophic consequences of the quest for knowledge which rises to level of attempting to see through the eyes of God." -- https://scififilmfiesta.blogspot.com/2020/12/x-man-with-x-ray-eyes-1963.html #Monsterdon #TheManWithTheXRayEyes

Is this a heist movie yet? I want to watch a good heist movie where Brad Pitt isn't eating an apple the entire time

#Monsterdon

ffs dude. 1) go to mountain. 2) look for gold. 3) profit. #monsterdon

He wants to go to CANADA? He truly is insane.

#Monsterdon #TheManWithTheXRayEyes

She tries to get Doc X to leave, but Hawaiian Shirt Man materializes and says "no you can't leave, you're my meal ticket and I can blackmail you because I know who you are and you defenestrated a guy."

He leaves anyway and Hawaiian Shirt Man tells all the people there that he's not a healer and he gives them sickness and also he's a murderer.

#monsterdon

Come on, doc, you can still rob a bank. #Monsterdon

Go Don Rickles! I support your hustle.
#monsterdon

"I'd give anything! Anything to have dark!"

JUST STOP TAKING THE DROPS!!! YOU CAN DO IT AT ANY TIME!!! YOU CAN DO IT RIGHT NOW JUST DON'T!!!

#Monsterdon

@moira It means his eyes are comically crossed

#monsterdon

man needs some lead shades.

#monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXrayEyes

it's the X-effect

#monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

You have a big sign outside that says "x-ray vision healer"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I wonder how many maladies you could diagnose with x-ray eyes have easy cures.

Or is he just telling people they're doomed?

wat if someone holds up a mirror to him? #monsterdon

Somebody should buy this guy a Visible Man toy. I'm sure he'd see the humor in that

#Monsterdon

He's got the worst bedside manners.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Dr. Dahmer to the observation lounge...

"I don't want power... or fame.... really, I'm just.... bored. I hope someone invents video games soon."

#Monsterdon

@Taweret Me either. It’s a good story with good acting.

#Monsterdon

Who is the tape recording for?
He entered the room, just as I predicted.

#monsterdon

this movie is honestly kinda compelling tho?

like I'm not bored

#Monsterdon

Hawaiian Shirt Man brings an Old Lady to him to get healed of her back pain which she thinks is cancer because WebMD. Doc X doesn't recognize the Hawaiian Shirt Guy at first but agrees to X-Ray the old lady.

He reveals some anatomy paintings inside her, but concludes that its just old age and tiredness, and the pain will be gone soon. Doc X explains that she is beyond his help, but the Old Lady says that Doc X is a good man, because she can cast "Know Alignment" at will.

#monsterdon

lmao this asshole aggressively taking advantage of this guy who is falling apart due to magic vision and wishing he would just go away

#monsterdon

Your problem is you've got an anatomical drawing inside of you.

#Monsterdon #ManWithXRayEyes

Are his sunglasses lead?
#monsterdon

Gradual enshitification of his power

#Monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXRayEyes

This is like some scheme Kramer would set up. "You know my friend Bob Sackamano..." #monsterdon

He's ridin' the cursed visine horse

#monsterdon
#XTheManWithTheXRayEyes

He's going to enter those rooms.
#monsterdon

I’d say that’s a scam, but unlike normal tithing, X CAN actually see the person’s health condition.

#monsterdon

C
O
N
T
I
N
U
O
U
S

G
I
R
L
S
#Monsterdon

"everybody gives what he can" oh my god it is about communism

#monsterdon

We could make money!
#monsterdon

sex pests were really obsessed with x-ray vision before the internet huh

#monsterdon

i don't xray vision to see what's wrong with this chap.

#monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXrayEyes

"What about you, Mr. Mentalo? What do you want to see?"

"First, money."

(Audience, I for sure thought he was going to follow that up with "...power, then respect".

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne I voted for Tarantino because I'm pretty sure he'd want to remake it if he saw that shot of nekkid feet at the dance party. #Monsterdon

In the next scene, Hawaiian Shirt Man is in the dressing room with Doc X and trying to figure out what his trick is, but Doc X won't tell him. However, he does confess to his tape recorder while Hawaiian Shirt Man spies on him, saying he's almost out of magic eyedrops but the effects are cumulative.

#monsterdon

"If I had power I'd hurt them all"

Think I know which way you'd vote mate....

#Monsterdon

Easy there, Heritage Foundation Strawhat. Dial it down

#Monsterdon

Stupid philosophizing time
#monsterdon

Rickles had his own schtick that he always did but he wasn't a bad actor. A step up from the Charles Nelson Riley's of the world making a living doing it for Match Game and guest stints on Love Boat or Fantasy Island. #monsterdon

Now I want to eat lunch with Continuous Girls
#monsterdon

He can see through everything except Ray-bans?

#Monsterdon

is the paint meant to be dripping on the borders of the door like that?

#Monsterdon

Okay, I am home, I have pizza, I am watching.

#Monsterdon