Missed opportunity to follow up the "I know who you are" with a title drop

#Monsterdon

Back at the carnival, a lady falls over and Doc X uses his powers to determine that she has broken ribs and broken legs. He uses his Doctor power and his X-Ray power to diagnose her and apply a splint. Then the official doctor shows up and takes over.

#monsterdon

Wait for "This is some of the best splinting work we've ever seen"

#monsterdon

Really bad trim painting in that purple room #Monsterdon

There are so many creepy men in this film. #monsterdon

I wonder if some real person has that social security number

#Monsterdon

"You have a letter in your pocket from the girl you deserted!"

lol

#Monsterdon

@thatdawnperson Yes!
#monsterdon

Why, with X-ray eyes.. I could do anything! I could be a sideshow cum friars roast!

#Monsterdon

*doc elbows his buddy out of the window, perhaps accidentally, then tries to flee the scene at a half-trot while continually looking over his shoulder*

Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious
Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious
Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious
Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious

#monsterdon

Wow, what a fragile window. #Monsterdon

Can you see long-term memory T-cells?
'cause that would be useful
#monsterdon

Get outa my patient, loser!
Step aside and let a pro handle this

#monsterdon

Fer god's sake stop handing him tools!
#monsterdon

"You think I'm mad? We'll I'll show youwhooobagabbbaawhoooooooo"

#Monsterdon

Okay, so the X-Ray vision in this movie is predictably weird. I guess it can give Doc X the power to selectively see through some things, but maybe like one layer at a time? So he can see through clothes but not skin, unless he concentrates and then he sees through the skin too?

My conjecture is that the doctor's repressed horniness leads him to see through people's clothes unconsciously, but that's the kind of hypothesis I would make.

#monsterdon

Doctor, I shall perform this operation....BLINDFOLDED!

#Monsterdon

I'm glad we don't Xray smell
#monsterdon

Yeah baby!

#Monsterdon

If I know 60s movies one of the people in this room is a Spy...

#Monsterdon

Then the doctor who diagnosed her appears and Doc X is like "this is the wrong diagnosis, there is a tumor you shouldn't do the surgery you're planning" and the regular doctor is like "nuh uh. ur wrong. I'm doing what I'm planning tomorrow." And the audience is like "uh oh this will be bad for the kid because the x ray guy was right."

#monsterdon

Doc X's day job involves squinting at patients to do doctor things, and in doing so we discover that he still has the ability to see through stuff as he stares through a child and determines that a diagnosis is wrong. The child being stared out says that his eyes look weird while he does this.

#monsterdon

Just tell him you took magic eye drops and can now see into people's bodies, he'll believe you.

#Monsterdon

People are icky inside.
#monsterdon

A big sign saying "DO NOT REMOVE" is just asking for mischief...

#Monsterdon

I think this one guy was the Martian on the TZ episode....#monsterdon

@Taweret we would probably fund it purely in our quest for forbidden knowledge that challenges the gods themselves. #monsterdon

This film is quite progressive for it's time in that there is ONE woman in the room and she ain't just taking notes....

....but also believable in that all the men in the room dismissed her case.

#Monsterdon

“How do your eggs taste then?”
“Flat.”

-squints at screen-
#Monsterdon

After special effects weirdness, Doc X proves he can see through stuff by reading a paper below another paper, then stares under the Eye Doctor's coat to reveal a pen. Then he goes around squinting at other things to look at other things. Then demands more eye drops so he can have more power.

The Eye Doctor says "no" because they should be doing scientific tests, but Doc X eyedrops himself anyway because he wants more forbidden knowledge.

#monsterdon

He can see through stuff, how does closing his eyes have any effect? Can't he see through the eyelids? lol

#monsterdon

LSD would do that trick too.
#monsterdon

I love twirly tape recorders. #Monsterdon

“Blah blah blah, simple shit.”
“I won’t be spoken to as if I am a child.”
“I hadn’t heard about your temper!”
Ah yes, the 60s. Rampant drugs, rock and roll, and overbearing men.
#Monsterdon

1960s safety protocol: fuck it, let's do it #monsterdon

In our autopsy we decide that the monkey died because its monkey brain couldn't handle the cursed godlike knowledge of having X-Ray vision. We said that more scientifically though, so it sounded more plausible.

Afterward, the Lovely Assistant tells Doc X to call her by her first name, so maybe she's making a pass at him. Probably a tentative pass. They discuss their insane science work at their penthouse laboratory lounge, using a Coffee Vending Machine to provide beverages.

#monsterdon

Do we have "idiot scientist lights cigarette in the lab from an unnecessarily lit bunsen burner, like some kind of chump desperate to incinerate his own eyebrows"?

#monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf #monsterdon

Yeah but which dies? The monkey or the god?

lol at Ray lighting his cigarette with a Bunsen burner like a Science Teacher who no longer gives a fuck....

#Monsterdon

...Did the monkey see an SCP?

#Monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

I don't need to hear about the monkey's sex life, doctor. #Monsterdon

Also, the guy who wants the X-Ray vision is named Doctor Xavier, like the X-Man in the wheelchair who is psychic. I'm sure they picked "Xavier" because it starts with X.

I'm calling him "Doc X" so we don't confuse him with "Prof X", the mutant rights leader.

#monsterdon

Oh fiddlesticks, this DVD has only French and Spanish subtitle tracks. If I'd yoinked a copy of the film through less legitimate channels I would have been able to see the other 90% of the dialog in this film! Alas.

#monsterdon

This guy owns more communist manifestos than everyone on Mastodon

#Monsterdon

7800 angstroms on the red end? Impressive

#Monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

This movie was previously called “Twitter”

#Monsterdon

This movie starts with some spooky music and then a closeup of a severed eyeball for several minutes, set to the same spooky music. Ominous.

We then decide that we must boil our eyeball in a science pitcher of pink kool-aid and proceed to do so. Logical.

Then we get some credits set to a hypnotic pink and black spiral. Hypnotic.

#monsterdon

The swirlly spiral thing is making me nauseous...

Ahhh, 'Roger Corman'

We're in for something

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXRayEyes

No one will be seated during the eyeball scene. #monsterdon

Is the whole movie just going to be this eye?

#Monsterdon

This movie is keeping an eye on us

#Monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

@moira@murkworks.net

oh god. I can just imagine what Möbius would have done with this.

(picture all of the subdoctors with towers-of-hanoi headgear standing around...)

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ That would’ve been amazing. But if they don’t even have the budget to film a winning slot machine… #monsterdon

still boggled by Don Rickles in a Rare Dramatic Role.

I mean, he's still a ways off from unseating Mary Tyler Moore doing "Ordinary People",

but, man, that was a creditable performance.

#Monsterdon

It was nice to see a young Dick Miller in a bit part

#Monsterdon #ManWithXRayEyes

@mariellequinton I think he plucked, but unbelievably fast and neat. #Monsterdon #TheManWithTheXRayEyes

@ottaross Oddly the most multifaceted one seems to have been the one played by Don Rickles #monsterdon

@Lazarou #monsterdon #IdealMaleBody

"I'll be back in a moment"

Yea just need some more of this "cursed visine" as my bingo card calls it. But soon I will be marking of "Making it Rain!" too, it's gamba time!

#Monsterdon

@Zerofactorial @ottaross for a smart lady she made some shockingly poor decisions #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
#XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

Got a lot of boxes checked on my bingo card. 2-way bingo tonight.

"A city unborn. Flesh dissolved in an acid of light. A city of the dead."

Incredible dialogue, man.

#Monsterdon

@ottaross She was taking quite a risk that he wouldn't get rid of the only witness too #monsterdon

Movies like this one make me think that I could be a Mad Scientist.

I'd just avoid the obvious mistakes this guy made, then I'd be fine.

#monsterdon

@skatem #monsterdon

"move fast and break things" was probably the most realistic part of this movie...

It’s funny how I have the same rational questions as everyone else, like, “Why keep taking the drops if you want darkness?” But I remind myself that Monsterdon films are generally poorly written, acted, directed, filmed, staged, lit, etc. and highly irrational. Haha.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon and #XTheManWithTheXrayEyes
See your doctor if you experience Sudden Onset Hubris.

My father’s assessment of the movie as “grim and pessimistic” from when he watched it when he was like eleven or twelve remains unchallenged #Monsterdon

@floatybirb @Crazypedia cosmic horror but the cosmic horror is just the christian god-panopticon

#monsterdon

@Crazypedia the Universal Panopticon Blinds!

#Monsterdon

…also 10% off frames for a limited time.

#monsterdon

The message behind tonight's feature: disobey your optometrist at your own peril!

Brought to you by the International Guild of Optometry.

#monsterdon

"At the center of the universe" speech was used as a sample in a song?

I'm sure of it, but cannot remember what one.

#monsterdon

That was not bad at all. #monsterdon

I award Man with the X Ray Eyes 1 out of 5 contact lenses of cursed vision. It was a movie that approached being interesting but never reached it. I almost gave it 2 out of 5, because it wasn't completely incompetently prepared, but I am rounding down out of grouchiness.

The best character was the coffee vending machine.
The worst character was the casino, who deserved to be ripped off, because fuck casinos.
RIP monkey, you died too soon.

#monsterdon

Well, that was a film.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
#XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

In the center of the universe is the eye that sees us all.
A line from Tolkien, no doubt. Sauron.

In Pathetic Color!

#Monsterdon

he was driven to destruction by the panopticon of the universe

#monsterdon

Random bleeding person with solid black eyes stumbles into your sermon which is in a tent in the middle of a desert it's fine perfectly normal #Monsterdon

Lmao this movie went places

#monsterdon

Lol holy shit he popped those eyes out fast!!

#Monsterdon

Well that was fun 😀

#Monsterdon

Well. It was really weird seeing Don Rickles actually act. Because he did.

#monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

You'd think some of these Christians would have been at least a little unnerved by a guy with completely black eyes

#Monsterdon

kinda liked that one

#Monsterdon

NOOOOOOOOO

#monsterdon #XTheManWithTheXrayEyes

Given my physics degree I am legally obligated to mention that the universe does not have a center.

#Monsterdon #XtheManWithTheXrayEyes

Doc X stumbles out of the car and stares at things, and everything is more colorful because he sees stuff inside of it. He manages to shamble his way across railroad tracks then walks into a barbed wire fence, which he crosses in a quest to reach... um... the cars on the other side? Which are there for a church revival service in the desert? Which he shambles in as the preacher says "Hallelujah" a lot and starts saying church things, which the audience loves.

#monsterdon

Really the only thing missing from this movie is an 80 minute Radiohead song

#Monsterdon

Correct answer for poll is B - Tim Burton!
He got the most votes at 47%

#Monsterdon

You seriously have to respect their commitment to the bit that seeing more somehow makes you see super blurry tunnel vision instead of, you know, more.

#Monsterdon

What does he see when he looks at the ground?
#monsterdon

*camera switches from outside the vehicle to a POV shot from the doctor's lizard eyes, flips around a few times, and car crash sound effects play*

Ah, I was wondering how they were going to drive a car off a cliff in a $300,000 movie!

#monsterdon

I think a better title for this movie might've been

"X: The Man Who Makes Poor Decisions"

#monsterdon
#XTheManWithXrayEyes

Not a real movie car crash. It didn't blow up.

#Monsterdon #ManWithXRayEyes

that's a pretty snazzy way to not film a car accident

#monsterdon

finally the road is safe again

#monsterdon

Uh oh, a helicopter. Something is probably about to explode.

#monsterdon