The wolves should know better -_-

#Monsterdon

As a childfree weirdo, I am immune to being lured to my death by the sound of a crying infant. Mewling kittens, on the other hand....

Oh no.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon That is an insane way to hold your coffee.

You gotta get into chemicals. They keep you going.

screenshot

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Mulder, there's no such thing as werewolves.

#monsterdon Heh heh. Stupid wolves. Their animal brains don't realize that destroying this architectural model will not stop the urban renewal project it represents.

I'll give it this, that was the most professional, best-shot, most expertly crafted *absolutely dogshit* movie I've ever seen. Remarkable.

#Monsterdon

One last shitpost for the road

Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon ok, is there anyone's ass we haven't seen in this movie

The stance of a true Karate master.

#monsterdon

okay I had to look at a plot synopsis of the novel to check my understanding of what that movie ending was trying to get across

suffice to say the novel seems a LOT more explicit about its social critique and I guess the edges were filed off of that in adaptation because in 1981 you're probably gonna struggle to get funding for a movie whose core message is "the cops are a major part of the problem, destroy the NYPD"

#Monsterdon

give the people what they want, wolfen

kill more hyperwealthy people

#Monsterdon

The real monster is the gentrification we met along the way.

#Monsterdon
#Wolfen1981

we ate the rich now we are talking about guillotines, you're ok movie, you're ok

#Monsterdon

this could've just been about werewolves killing people instead of whatever this is

#monsterdon

and now he's doomed to transform into a CEO every full moon and quarterly reporting period

#monsterdon #Wolfen1981

this "wolves don't kill people, they're like indians" idea is such a spectacular feat of racism, like high-tech, artisanal racism that veers into it through also being the worst kind of eco-freak you can ask for #monsterdon

Gentrification of the werewolf district begins.
#monsterdon

wolfen down almost 2 hours our lives

#Monsterdon

so this whole thing is really about ... architectural criticism?

#monsterdon #Wolfen1981

#monsterdon Home projectors sure sucked back then.

#monsterdon Just once, I want to see a werewolf movie where the monster-vision effect is just red-green color-blindness.

more movies should have the courage to transition to a straightfaced snake documentary in the middle for half an hour. literally nobody would complain #monsterdon

Spay your werewolves, folks.

#monsterdon

@klu9 All the best #monsterdon films revolve around real estate transactions.

#monsterdon "Nah, I'm just joking. This TV is just broken."

Now he's holding his coffee this way

#Monsterdon #Wolfen1981

so the way to defeat the wolfen is to make it so there aren't any sick or abandoned peoples in society right

#Monsterdon

lotta ass in a movie about wolves

#Monsterdon

okay but were the goose eggs valued or

#Monsterdon

FUCK we still have 50 mins left

#monsterdon

The past couple minutes of this movie I've just been going, "I'm sorry, what?"

#Monsterdon #Wolfen1981

#monsterdon The problem with these long slow movies that I finish eating my pizza and there's still half a movie to go.

What am I supposed to do now? Watch monsterdon with no pizza?

honestly if there were multiple wolf murders at a burned out church that seems suspiciously to have a bunch of werewolf church iconography, i think i would be able to close the case pretty quick by just fencing off the werewolf church and ceding the land to satan #monsterdon

See? The Wolfen are misunderstoood -- they're just architecture critics #Monsterdon 🐺 #Wolfen

Yep, solving the world's problems by destroying a skyscraper model

#Monsterdon

the way this movie could win me back (other than "defeat the wolfen by building utopia") would be to pull a THEY LIVE on us and reveal that the cops are all wolfen except I guess this one cop who was explicitly rejected from the cop society at one point

#Monsterdon

Wow. When projection TV was the size of a small refrigerator and had separate red, green, and blue lights.

#monsterdon

they protec. they attac. but most importantly they show ass.

#Monsterdon

@faoluin In his native language his name is "Man Who Tells Things to Audience."

#monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.social/@SesameSquirrel/116910216867731896

I had no idea that by the time I finish typing out that post, he'd be running around nekkid 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ #Monsterdon 🐺 #Wolfen

Ferguson calls in a fake fire with the fake name "Peter Wolf"

the boy who called wolf

#Monsterdon

So See We All, Edward.

#monsterdon

the technical challenge of having to shoot and edit something to strategically shadow out someone's dick has got to be pretty fun #monsterdon

The real monster was the racist caricatures we met along the way

#Monsterdon

i got so taken out of the movie by the racism that i now have absolutely zero idea why the protagonist is strapped to the top of a bridge now #monsterdon

i'm pretty sure this guy is just talking about code switching and enjoying freaking the cop out

#monsterdon

That spec is correct, the one where he said 8 to 12 microns, that's the wavelength range used by most thermal cameras.
#monsterdon

See! You shouldn't have been fucking with that bitch!

screenshot

#monsterdon

I dunno, I feel like if you want to depict native people with any level of dignity, the first thing you should ask yourself is, "Should I maybe NOT depict them as magical cannibals who prey on the weak?"

I feel like that's a solid baseline.

#Monsterdon

I have no idea what happened there. He smashed some bricks and the wolves said HECK YEAH MAN and flew out a skyscraper window?

HUH 😆

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Why did the wolves care about construction in NYC anyway?

I mean, they should choose their battles better. NYC is solidly a human place.

If they wanted to make a stand for wolfen-kind, basically anywhere else in North America would have been better.

Musta been pretty fun to film the scene where you let wolves trash and apartment

#Monsterdon

I give up

no wolf teeth
no Monster Shows Human-like Intelligence
no bingo

(got bored and maybe missed it?)

#monsterdon

you guys, you guys, we are definitely watching part of the Real Estate Transaction Cinematic Universe

#Monsterdon

[free association continues]

#Monsterdon

20 more f'ing minutes?

#Monsterdon
#Wolfen1981

#monsterdon Remember : Always think of a fake name before you place a prank call.

Very important.

#monsterdon Having to strip down to shape-shift really takes some of the joy away from it.

I realize it's practical, but it takes the spontaneity out of it.

(ok, it's Edward James Olmos, who is at least in part Mexican Native American, as it turns out, correcting my prior post)

#monsterdon

Not watching #Monsterdon, by the way, because I'm in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Maybe I'll get home in time for Howling II. In his review of the latter, Roger Ebert referenced the fact that the scene where Sybil Danning rips open her dress is repeated twice in the closing credits, "providing the movie with its second and third interesting moments."

8-12 microns… huh, respect to the movie for getting choosing a not-entirely-unreasonable wavelength for its phlebotinum

#Monsterdon

Finney: OK, I'll take the part, but I need to have snacks.

#Monsterdon
#Wolfen1981

Hot dog stand. As required by films made in new york movies.
#monsterdon

I love this control center and the foley that goes with it. I love that the movie is refusing to tell us explicitly what it is just yet.

#Monsterdon

You know it's a computer when they use the '70s computer font.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I don't believe for a second that a normal x-ray is going to show bits of the murder weapon.

Not reliably enough to be surprising when it doesn't.

Imagine how fast knives would wear out if they were so bad at their job.

They'd be like video game knives.

"you got to get into chemicals" is a clip we need #monsterdon

Whitley Striber, shame on you. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon what made people repeatedly want to work with Whitley Streiber's material? He's so boringly up his own ass

#monsterdon Inside your parking lot there are three wolves.

This "climax" is like waiting at a bus stop, and you can see the bus coming, but its stopped at the previous stop, and it's not moving.
#monsterdon

bummer. i hesitate to call a bad boy, but gregory was the sole reason to watch this movie, and now he is corpse.

#monsterdon #Wolfen1981

A movie that managed to make naked edwards james olmos running around a new york beach boring. That takes skill.
#monsterdon

Every Hines was kung-fu fighting! That boy was fast as lightning...

#monsterdon

that bike sounds perfectly fine and the engine was not struggling at all, fire the foleys #monsterdon

Peter Wolf will be represented by the oboe

#Monsterdon

“Could you train a wolf?” “Then he wouldn’t be a wolf” #Monsterdon

Was that sequence the werewolf thingy crossing the bridge into Manhattan? The werewolf is commuting to a night shift gig now?

#monsterdon

Chekhov's Ginger Kitty

#Monsterdon
#Wolfen1981

sorry for the lack of gags tonight folks, i'm just too pooped

but i am having massive nostalgia for the NYC I remember and loved :raccoon_pat_triangle:

#monsterdon

if elected, my approach to governance would involve a lot of "just build an isolation bubble around the haunted area and let the ghosts have it" because i am not fucking with any ghosts or the devil #monsterdon

This is really it:

Excellent filmmaking marred by a what-are-you-doing B-movie script.

Doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it!!!

https://hcommons.social/@LingLass/116910124450699495

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🐺 #Wolfen
WAIT -- are we actually watching a GOOD movie?!

I wish I was a werewolf that saw the whole world as an early 90s music video

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon A coroner scene? Why is nobody eating spaghetti?

That's how coroner scenes are supposed to work.

The Horner horns though oh my GOD

#Monsterdon

It was the 80s. Two spoons a day was the recommended daily allowance

#Monsterdon #Wolfen1981

I give Wolfen 2 out of 5 mysterious wind chimes. I want to give it a good rating because it's pretty and strange. But I want to give it a bad rating because it's boring nonsense.

The best characters was young Commander Adama channeling a dog and the kung-fu sniper coroner. The worst character was the main character and the girl who liked him for no reason.

The soundtrack and aesthetics were nice, but it needed either less run time or more events.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe The first half was an actual movie, I'll give it that much.

#monsterdon #Wolfen1981

Doves in a church? 🕊️🕊️🕊️
Was John Woo in the film crew? #Monsterdon 🐺 #Wolfen

I'm kinda curious to read the novel after that. It's clear enough that to the extent that the writing was interesting, it was following the book's lead.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Really makes you think, don't it?

16 candles ends different than I remember
#monsterdon

Wolves smart enough to ride the elevator to the top floor

#Monsterdon

Good thing this is all happening in the nobody-else-lives-here part of NYC.

#monsterdon

what in the Ford Pinto was that explosion?

#Monsterdon

Normally getting this explanation 1:30:00 into the movie would be right as the credits roll, but we've still got 20 minutes left.

#Monsterdon #Wolfen1981

Was this guy not available?

#monsterdon

@rebeld the real Wolfen was the friends we made along the way #monsterdon