SCHOOLmahstehr

#Monsterdon

"Oh thank fuck, okay, everybody can go home."

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

#monsterdon And that's the end of the film. Thanks for watching everybody.

at least this vampire's job of leading a rolling stones cover band isn't complicated by his aversion to sunlight #monsterdon

That's a bit selfish
#monsterdon

Ooops - he was staked from the back but there's no entry wound.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

#monsterdon Ahhhh, AGITA! Don’t! Have! The! Bangers! And! Mash! Owwwwww

Looks like the stake shrunk his canines

#monsterdon
#VampireCircus

"Everybody dies" #monsterdon

#monsterdon The town of Stetl will die!! Man, it's already dead.

That open pirate shirt is just begging for a wooden stake

#monsterdon

Well that was a quick movie.
#Monsterdon

damn that's a weak vampire. done in by a stomach stake?

#monsterdon

“What have you done with my wife?”

“Nothing. Why, do you think I should?”

#Monsterdon

Vampkata! #Monsterdon

the town of staple will die? what?

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Vamp-woops

#monsterdon

Shoutout to the dude who speared him in the groin, tho, you'd think that'd be his weak point. #Monsterdon

FINALLY the villagers with torches! We had to wait a whole six minutes.

#Monsterdon

Why did they bring flaming torches into the castle? This isn’t the 800s, people had lamps

#Monsterdon

The heart, dumbass #Monsterdon

Yeah, everybody attack him individually, that's a good plan.

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Vampire fu! #Monsterdon

In this qualifier match for synchronized making-the-sign-of-the-cross, I give the village mob an 8.1/10

#Monsterdon

The saber work is....not so very convincing.
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Count Kelso?

@jonny (Is this the shirt referenced earlier? I mean, it is pretty hideous but hardly the worst screen crime I suspect we'll see)

Was that shaggin' or nude interpretive dance? #Monsterdon

at least i think that was dandy. another dandy? i can't tell identical men apart

#monsterdon

"A nibble and a toss"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Stake them in the crotch! It won't kill them but they don't like it!

HA HA HA, slain by a squirt knife! Gotta remember to pump up the pressure first! #Monsterdon

there you go, at least one of you knows you don't have to come at him one at a time.

#monsterdon

No, no, he _thinks_ with his dick, his heart's still in the normal place!

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

how does he have a tanline if he's a vampire #Monsterdon #VampireCircus

#monsterdon Anna-Bobana! That's all I can hear…

is it a vampire nipple circus #monsterdon

BTW, I'm using an unfamilar Linux distro on a "new" laptop for tonight's show. So, watching this counts as technological research #Monsterdon

BOLD CHOICE with the torches next to the curtains, gotta say. #monsterdon

they oughta form a phalanx it's not really that tough.

#monsterdon

"Killed by a vampire!" and everybody does synchronized crossings.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

#Monsterdon 🧛 🎪 😱

that was the most efficient synchronized crossing I've ever seen

OK, enough with the naked torso scene. Ah, good, maybe some pitchforks will help.
#Monsterdon

The Count is wearing a collar which begs the question, who is his Master/Mistress? Is it Anna? Is that why she was slowly rolling over while naked in bed with him? #monsterdon

Killed ... by a VAMPIRE! (Holy horns.)

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

ah yes, sex, where you pass your bodies slowly over each other such that you are never exactly touching and always maintain a 90 degree angle between your torsos so your head is in the other persons armpit and whatnot #monsterdon

Does this count as wrestling? Asking for a bingo card. #Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Gah, uncensored breastication. I always half expect a panicked highschool english teacher to run over and put her hand over the screen while mashing fast forward.

But enough about my school experiences. #monsterdon

I like how this vampire looks like a 1960s rock-and-roll musician.

#Monsterdon

"Nothing. Why, do you think I should?"

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

#monsterdon Drink every time someone crosses themselves!

Welcome back to the show Hammer. We do so love your house of horrors.
#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

I don't remember this being part of Cirque Du Soleil.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Yes, cross yourselves, that will make it all go away

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

We all fuck like that, right?

#Monsterdon

this is some 70s sex scenes mmhmm #monsterdon

Some vampireque softporn
#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Subtitles: [Banging]
Visuals: [Titties]

Close enough.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Vampire zurburrrrs. *bllllaaaaaap* #Monsterdon #VampireCircus

And jump right into sexy times. How efficient.

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Sheesh. Can't even get a bunch of villagers to storm the castle with torches and pitchforks?! What is the world coming to?

#Monsterdon

BOOBS!!!!!!

#monsterdon

A facial expresssion that says... Count Mitterhaus?? ORR...Mr. Bean?? :sus:

#Monsterdon

Fabulous sets and costumes are Hammer trademarks #Monsterdon

Naked. #monsterdon

OK, post-feeding implied sex scene. With nipple.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

something something brownie for dinner

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Think I might miss part of this #monsterdon all, thunderstorms.

Don't obey evil counts in advance.

#Monsterdon

“Your daughter’s in there, and my wife, Anna.”

Meanwhile, Anna’s clothes just fell off. This is the power of Vampire.

#Monsterdon

"Your daughter IS in there! With my wife!"

"My good man, what part of 'vampires' are you not getting?"

#Monsterdon

"if your wife is in there, maybe she wanted to go."

More like, maybe she wanted to come, am I right?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

My girlfriend's in there!

A lot of people's girlfriends are in there.

#Monsterdon

four minutes in and we already got female vampire nipnop

#monsterdon

so far we have a compilation that the men here are _shit_ at child care. the women simply found a better deal. #monsterdon

Anna looks like Anna Kendrick. CONSPIRACY???!?!one!?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

#Monsterdon 🧛 🎪 😱

nekkid lady.

#monsterdon Breasts in 4:30 minutes.

What kind of peasants don't want to knock off an aristocrat?#Monsterdon

That’s that dude’s wife?

#Monsterdon

And straight to bewbs, I think that's record time for #monsterdon. #VampireCircus

"...he's the Count. If we dare touch him, he'll ..... count us all!"

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Back in my LARPING days, I had better teeth than that bought from freaking Hot Topic…

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

And YOUR child is missing! And yours! Missing! And you, your child-

#monsterdon #vampirecircus1972

How am I supposed to tell any of these guys apart, the lighting is so dark...

#Monsterdon

Whoopsie! Flashed a nipple there!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972

I guess playing with a girls' hair is the vampire equivalent of saying "hello"

#Monsterdon

I think it's time SOMEONE bought themselves a cuck chair.... #monsterdon

#monsterdon Wow, most stuff-in-a-locker-able vampire I've ever seen.

Rock and roll took the kids, they are all gone! Listen to me! #monsterdon

Oh, I think Anna's doing all right.

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Wait, are these vampires, or fae yoinking kids?

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

#monsterdon Fangs so big he seems like he'd have a hard time not talking like Elmer Fudd.

YOU lost a child, and YOU lost a child, and YOU, and YOU!

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus

Me walking gleefully into I know-not-what. #monsterdon

we must go on the daily show! while it's still on the air!

#monsterdon #VampireCircus

Man, those prosthetic teeth are way over the top. Dude can barely close his mouth. #Monsterdon

It's Count Liberace! He looks fabulous! #Monsterdon

look, even if this _isn't_ a vampire

do you really wanna hang with Alternate Universe Donny Osmond? #monsterdon

Thelma has an orgasm-by-vibe

#Monsterdon #VampireCircus1972