Faster, Mummy! Kill, Kill! #Monsterdon

surprise Coneheads mention

#Monsterdon

"Wait, this is the Reactor Complex. We wanted the Reactor Simple instead!"

#Monsterdon

...Uh. Okay, that was inexplicable. Are the rats drawn to X-ray machines, or...? #Monsterdon

This guy has very "after school special about the dangers of drugs" energy

#monsterdon

Can't have science without beep boop

#monsterdon

Thank goodness they have the machine that goes beeooop beeooop beeoop

#Monsterdon

Greg is ACTING

#MOnsterdon

Back in my day we grew up around mold and Time Walker stones and I turned out FINE

#Monsterdon

Yeah, this flick is Animal House But There's A Mummy #Monsterdon

Off Melrose, for when you're done watching Melrose Place. #Monsterdon

I like Universities that have their own nuclear reactors

#Monsterdon

Time Boobs

#monsterdon

Mystifying and multiplying
Delatropic and hygroscopic
Necrotizing and hypnotizing!

#Monsterdon

@paco It's like seeing a part of a cartoon background clearly drawn on an animation cel.
#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

The highest safety standards! "It MIGHT not be dangerous" #Monsterdon

"Honey" yeah of course he's screwing his grad student assistant >_> #Monsterdon

Why are people in this movie doing things

#monsterdon

Ancient marbles

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

"The hell could those be"

I don't know dude, why are you asking me? #Monsterdon

Ah, green goop. We all know THAT's perfectly safe! #Monsterdon

Mmm, pistachio

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Time Walker (1982), or "who was this guy and why did he go to space too"
#monsterdon #bestOfMonsterdon #FuckOffsOfMonsterdon #FOITS #FuckOffsIntoSpaceOfMonsterdon #UnknownGuysOfMonsterdon #IndistinctGuys

Netflix MST3K flat out stole these skeleton themed goons.
#Monsterdon #SuperInframan

So, final conclusion of the movie:

if you see a suspiciously fresh looking ancient mummy covered in cheap green dust, don't touch it and, most of all, don't steal its cheap plastic crystal lampshade pulls, try to pawn them off, then give them away to a bunch of random people as crappy glowing jewelry.

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ i will admit he doesn't owe any of these guys an explanation

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

#monsterdon Time Walker was the earliest Pokemon movie. Gotta collect 'em all... and then poof, vip off to vapor-town.

So if this is an alien that was never dead, why did he leave all these human funerary trappings on the whole time anyway?

#Monsterdon

Yeah mostly I feel like Time Walker had half an idea for one movie, and half an idea for a different movie, and unable to complete either alone, they just kinda smashed 'em together. #Monsterdon

could have seen more dead frat boys TBH

#Monsterdon

And they fucked off into hyperspace, THE END

#Monsterdon

who who's that alien's nail tech

#monsterdon

@Louisa You mean fuck off into space?

#monsterdon

Oh come ON. That bangle was big enough to just pull off your wrist even without opening it.

#Monsterdon

The jacks in the front are for plugging in joysticks.

#Monsterdon

I think I understand why the alien zombie mummy doesn't have ambitions bigger than this one campus

It doesn't have the balls

#monsterdon

I still can't tell these characters apart. There is the mummy, and everyone else

#Monsterdon

Mom I gotta go a mummy is coming to attack me in slow-motion

#Monsterdon

Did she put on a necklace to take a bath?

#Monsterdon

God. Just end it. #monsterdon

oh good, the participants finally realized Chekov's Reactor.

#monsterdon

@gwozniak just, well, sure, all you need to know is there is a mummy and he had balls but now girls have the balls and this make the mummy angry

#monsterdon

Yep, that had "Atari 800" printed right on the front

#Monsterdon

Maybe take the bracelet off, Susie #monsterdon

yes, that, Susie.

ditch the flashlight.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Chick is running, time for her to trip over a tree branch. Yes, tiled floors would necessarily have branches just so she could trip and break something fabulous and screech some more.

How dare that old man not be Dick Miller

#Monsterdon

"Nah-sa"

It's NASA, dipshit #Monsterdon

I have lost patience with every human in this movie, slime them all, mummy

#monsterdon

So, the diagram looks like a diagram

#Monsterdon

the patterns are how to tune the reactor, got it

#monsterdon

mummy creeps, moving up slowly

moving up slowly

#monsterdon

...Was that a clumsy attempt at a dream sequence? #Monsterdon

She said "Quantum"

Drink a shot

#Monsterdon

This guy's explanation sounds stupid and wrong even though WE KNOW IT'S RIGHT

#monsterdon

"You're addressing the president of an accredited university."

Oh sorry, I'll get my wallet out. #Monsterdon

That reactor control computer really puts me in the mood to plug in a cartridge and play a few levels of K-STAR PATROL, maybe earn myself the Garbage Scow Captain rank in STAR RAIDERS

#Monsterdon

I don't know what Bench Guy is getting so pissed about, you're making out in a public spot. Of course you're gonna get interrupted, dipshit. #Monsterdon

Mummy's a voyeur. He's probably fascinated by the concept of lips, actually. #Monsterdon

Mummies, well known for hovering over rough terrain. #Monsterdon

Frat boys not respecting boundaries...

#Monsterdon

Mummy splitting his time between murder and freelance plumbing. #Monsterdon

Oh I was right, Willoughby IS a bastard

#monsterdon

"I'm not Hauser. I'm Quaid."

#Monsterdon

Movie got to bare boobs faster than murder, that's unusual. #Monsterdon

The Touch of Death we presume

#Monsterdon

These guys bestowing $2.99 faceted glass balls like they're precious 😂

#Monsterdon

go on, take the mummy and run

#monsterdon

I hope every frat character dies

#Monsterdon

these are...weird...loan sharks?

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ mummy balls

#monsterdon

surprise! tits!

#monsterdon

"Dude, your hand is FUCKED"

#Monsterdon

[screams silently in dismay]

THAT'S NOT HOW GENETICS WORKS THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS

#monsterdon #TimeWalker

The Janitor is of the Expendable Class....

(I was just watching Mickey 17)

#Monsterdon

I had those glass "crystals." Hung 'em in the window to make rainbows! 😂

#Monsterdon

It's apropos that the most frightening thing this mummy can do to us is overwhelm us with weird new mold

Like seriously how is nine pound animated bag of bones at all threatening, I weigh far more, one good kick and you're dust

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

The mummy's got GIBLETS #Monsterdon

"Someone has stolen the babies to my pulsating crystal heart nugget, revenge will soon be mine"

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

Isn't Susie a student???

#Monsterdon

Aaand that guy's cursed. Stealing relics from a stolen relic!

#Monsterdon

Evil chuckle of grad student who found enough jewels to payoff his student loan.

#monsterdon

Thinking about how Stargate did all this much, much better....

#Monsterdon

“Relax. It’s just a mummy. A casual approach to our investigation is fine.” #monsterdon

They were filming a Jane Fonda workout video on the next lot. This person just wandered onto the set.

#monsterdon

Someone spray painted the mummies :/ #Monsterdon

Missing #monsterdon tonight because @k8eb and I are still on a slow train back to Toronto from Ottawa. Enjoy your "time" "walking", weirdos!!

Nice job making scary noises over stock footage, I can tell you got a real budget, here

#monsterdon

And the Brophy goes to my man Kevin 🏆💪

#Monsterdon

I've had diarrhea for a week that was more enjoyable than that film. Thanks #monsterdon ers. Take care. See ya soon.

#monsterdon Thank you @Taweret for that lovely jaunt with a beloved back-of-the-junk-drawer little 1982 movie. I love my little lost sock-muppet alien... poor guy. :)

@paco @diazona one of them should be holding a sign that says “mother”
#monsterdon #TimeWalker

@GeoffWozniak MVP of the movie, obvs

#Monsterdon

@skatem @paco Can I be the little tooltip at the top right that says "Hide"

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker

So. Are all the professors dating students?

#Monsterdon

"how are we going to wrap all this up in five minutes?"
"What if........now go with me on this......'SEQUEL' "

It didn't work lads, it didn't work....

#Monsterdon

Yeah I got a PhD… a Professor Has Disappeared

#monsterdon

@paco
That picture makes #bingo!

#Monsterdon #TimeWalker #MonsterdonBingo

Opinionated summary:

#Monsterdon #Timewalker1982

....to be continued #monsterdon