#monsterdon This wrestling match just keeps going on, doesn't it? I think I'll get a snack or something, pop back in when the thumping sounds stop and someone says something again.
ΒΏy cuΓ‘ndo es que aparece la puta momia?
"Fujiyata y las dos hermanas" suena bien banda rock latino de los 90s. el opening act de Maldita Vencidad, LOL
From the Flowers of Evidence we discover that the second part of the codex is hidden in a post office, another very stupid place to hide a codex. Team Evil recovers this. We learn that the third part is hidden in the arena locker room, which I guess is where the dude was hiding it in the opening part of the movie.
Team evil sends goons to recover it, but they are intercepted by Police Guys In Suits and Wrestling Women, resulting in Fist Fights.
@JoeWynne a time of honour #monsterdon
Okay, so dumb stuff continues to happen. Directed by the evil podcast, Charlotte, the brainwashed girl, takes a syringe that was under her pillow (where syringes normally are stored, if you are part of an evil plot) and stabs a guy, I think killing him. Then a Wrestling Woman intercepts her but is defeated. Then she gets some flowers from the Doctor guy that she searches for clues, because clues are hidden in nonsensical items in this movie.
Not sure how they sold tickets and booked a stadium so quickly for this archeology grudge match?
OK what'd I miss?
@hollie whole new form of government
I suspect this competitive Wrestler vs Judo scene could go on a while.
#Monsterdon every time I see a MGM Grand betting app, I canβt not think of Biff Tannen.
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
Fujiyata? Not Chinese
I love the twenty character fight scenes in this flick.
Real satisfying lady punches, 'take that Patriarchy!'
yeah we are really dropping the ball on this while codex thing
#monsterdon OK, that little camera / transmitter bug thingy that the villain is using to spy on Charlotte while he... uh... telecasts mind-control commands at Charlotte: anyone have any theories about how it is managing to track and dolly and pan around the room while also staying concealed over there on the bookshelf?
#Monsterdon the coconut clopping is awesome. I want all my fights to be coconut clopping.
Our villain, the Black Dragon, seems to spend a lot of time in front of the TV. He should get outside a little more often.
Okay, so I guess the plan to get the Aztec Codex is for the Black Dragon to use his wizard powers to brainwash the kidnapped lady, who will then steal the codex or otherwise get it, accompanied by a threatening theremin orchestra.
#monsterdon It would be a real shame if that comic relief character were blowgunned in the next scene to amp up the peril and drama
Real shame
*makes vigorous "BLOWGUN HIM ALREADY" motions*
Characters so far, according to my imperfect assessment of what's going on:
Team Evil:
Black Dragon (aka pajama chef fu manchu)
Mr. Fedora Goatee Kidnapper
Other Goons
Team Good:
Goth Wrestler Lady
Prep Wrestler Lady
Kidnapped Lady (undergoing brainwashing)
Guy with the Role of Charlie From Charlies Angels, Except you See Him
Doctor Guy (might be the same as the Charlie guy, I'm kinda confused right now)
Dead Juggalo (RIP)
Quest Guy (RIP)
LMAO a la grandota le gustan los charritos como a la ex de Tom Cruise
We would have gotten away with it to if it wasn't for you middling wrestling women!
#monsterdon
In the 60s there were a lot of men in suits fighting each other with no blood
They stole Vincent Price's automobile! Those bastards!
How has the Black Dragon developed a CCTV network that would only be possible in the 80s?
I suspect Time Travel or Aliens (or both!)
"As an Amazon, you're the greatest"
Just scream to the world that you fetishize your tall girlfriend dude....
la Chela no era luchadora porque se dejΓ³ llevar tan fΓ‘cilmente
y cΓ³mico que todos los miembros del DragΓ³n Negro se ven mΓ‘s primos de Cantinflas que de Luis Miguel.
The Black Dragon pumping Charlotte's weak mind full of memes
Haha so they DID find an Asian actor!
Just the wrong role ...
oh no! an envelope!
I don't like how much this feels like a plot for an adventure story from circa 1870-1930
launching my #monsterdon thread for #TheWrestlingWomenVersusTheAztecMummies, a title that is hard to put into a hash tag. I am starting a few minutes late, but hoping this movie has lots of Aztecs, Mummies and Luchadoras.
That was a looooong wrestling scene.
Never underestimate Short Women
las cholitas peleando en esta escena son como de ni un metro. a penas se les ve el tope de la cabeza por encima de la cuerdas, LMAO
Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!Β‘YA!
... and I'm gonna take a break from what is now a remakeidea thread before everyone unfollows me out of irritation
But thanks to @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting another monsterdon!
@ottaross lol well while I understand your feeling, this was kind of a great movie-watching experience, and that's what I'm here for - I mean, I'm definitely not doing #Monsterdon for the great movies
@ottaross I regret it but I apologize for nothing.
Good things about the movie:
mummy costume
the hat
the bat (so bad it rolled over the register and ended up 2,147,483,647 good)
Bad things:
everything else
"Look! Hes afraid of fire!" she says, and they never use fire again.
#monsterdon
The moral of the story is that if you're entombed for eternity waiting for something to happen, it can't hurt to improve yourself by learning some practical shapeshifting. It'll help you pass the time, and might impress your adversaries someday #monsterdon
I'm going to go find some women wrestlers and an Aztec mummy and make them fight for my satisfaction this was so disappointing. #monsterdon
@Crazypedia "The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited."
@brooke bit of a let down on that front #monsterdon
I wonder what that aztec flashback footage was from tho
@georgieboy 'peril' #monsterdon
ΒΏesos son Toyotas? los Toyotas estaban por doquier en Puerto Rico durante la misma Γ©poca
![[Emmett] [Redacted] [Redacted] the Guy](/media/avatars/e882d600e64e5fd72a98375fd65ee0a7e2cdd9812ef94817b9bbf1c862122335.jpg){kind=small}
#monsterdon okay I need a database to find out if spiders get hurt in movies
@apLundell that is absolutely _the_ moment of this movie
Well, they didn't wrestle the mummy vampire. I kept wondering how this movie got snubbed from all the "greatest film" list and now we know.
THE END π€£ that was SO dumb I am crying #Monsterdon
THEY DIDN'T WRESTLE THE MUMMY
I AM *ENRAGED* #Monsterdon
Okay, so we sent the smallest guy and the brainwashed girl to take back the breastplate, but then we lost the brainwashed girl and the small guy got scared so he left in a panic, and now everyone has to go to the pyramid to try to rescue the brainwashed girl before the mummy wakes up and I guess eats her?
Pyramid collapse... load-bearing boss?
Another #Monsterdon is in the can!
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Tonight's feature, #TheWrestlingWomenVsTheAztecMummy was from 1962, and was the first sports based feature this year! Aside from some slam, bam, thank you ma'am, we had:
Creepers and peepers!Blow darts!Aztec Codex!Hypnotic injection power!Judo vs Wrestling!Ritual sacrifice!Vampire Mummy!
The plan is just leave the mummy in there and hope he calms down?
I'm having trouble featuring what Charlotte brought to the crew tbh
"Look Loretta he's a Vampire now"
"He's a mummy again."
#monsterdon π΅ I made this half-mummy half soup chef monster to please you
If they also say he's a vampire, who am I to argue?
"he's a mummy again!" i am fucking crying i can't breathe #monsterdon
Wrestle the bat.
look he's a vampire now?
"look loretta he's a vampire now" i am LOSING IT #monsterdon
This AirBnB at least offers to clear the previous corpses off the bed.
Poor Xochitl's bones, being shoved aside to make way for a younger woman
"BAT!"
If the hot women do not wrestle this mummy I will burn this place to the ground.
@diazona @raindrops_and_roses it's supposed to be the treasure map somehow, according the codex #monsterdon
The mummy brought soup! How nice. #Monsterdon
@raindrops_and_roses oh yeah seriously, I was wondering the same thing
It seems like it would be easy to just not take it
So Charlotte's just The One Everything Happens To in this movie huh
#Monsterdon I NEED SOMEONE TO TRY MY NEW SOUP RECIPE STOP SCREAMING
Excellent scream, even by our high #monsterdon standards.
Can't believe Tommy just abandoned Charlotte to the Mummy in the Pyramid, he's such a scuzzy man
I feel like they could be parking a lot closer to the pyramid access door.
Where is the mummy?!
#Monsterdon #WrestlingWomen #AztecMummy
fair play to the makeup on the mummy though, does the job
We get to see a lot of that car on the way to the pyramid. So suspenseful!
if that mummy doesnβt end up in a wrestling ring it will be the greatest missed opportunity in cinematic history #Monsterdon
@yatsu With the necklace that you could sell for millions.
No one's blaming the little weaselly guy for just leaving Charlotte in the pyramid with the mummy and driving home??
Rubber bat alert! #Monsterdon
#monsterdon I regret only that the entire Black Dragon gang was found dead and mangled by that mummy, thus leaving no character plausibly motivated to blowgun our comic relief character. Alas, alas, alas.
These guys need to cut their losses. Ring up the British Museum, let them know you've got an ancient artifact priced for quick sale. Let the Brits deal with it.
On the mummy side TBH
#monsterdon #AztecMummyIsRight
@gnomon If only they didn't take so long to find the mummy so they could get smacked around, this would have been so much more satisfying
So all this is happening because the archaeologist had a bad feeling, and knew they shouldn't take the breastplate, and then a mummy came after them, but they still took the breastplate anyway? Sometimes you have to confront your self-sabotage
Wait, so if you just return the breastplate, you'll end the mummy's rampage? After all he did was kill that evil gang?
The foley nephew also has a pew pew noise maker!
"Honey, I'm home!"
#monsterdon
MUMMIES ALSO DO NOT FEAR THE SUN
FUCK THIS MOVIE #Monsterdon